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Mibba

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A New Beginning

The Final Farewell

It’s the day of my brother’s funeral and as rested as I am, I am not ready to say my last goodbyes to him. I didn’t bother putting on eye makeup because I knew that I would cry.

“Do I look good without eye makeup? I felt confident wearing it yesterday, but not today.”

I checked myself out in the bathroom mirror.

“You look beautiful with or without makeup.”

“You’re supposed to say that. You’re my boyfriend.” I said, walking into my bedroom.

“Doesn’t mean it isn’t true.”

It did little to make me feel better, but I did appreciate the effort. I sat down on my bed as I continued to frown.

“Thank you.”

He sat down beside me and kissed my cheek. I leaned against him, placing my head on his shoulder while he wrapped an arm around my waist. We stayed in silence for about five minutes until I heard my mom's voice telling us that she'd meet us at the funeral home.

"Let's go."

I grabbed my notebook and slung my purse over my shoulder so we could leave. Iris was downstairs, waiting for us.

"Are you ready for this?"

"Absolutely not. You?"

"No."

We all got into my car and I drove back to my least favorite place in the world. My parents were there ten minutes before and in the main room aka where my brother was. The service wasn't for another forty minutes and if it weren't for my cousins and Alex, I didn't know how I was going to get through this. I sat in a pew with him and waited for my close relatives along with Henry, Conner’s best friend who is practically family; till then, I wasn't moving.

"Har!"

I turned around to see my cousin, Rayna. I stood up and went over to hug her.

"Ray. How are you?"

"Okay. I'm totally not ready for this. I can't imagine you are either."

"I'm not. This is fucked up. I shouldn't be giving a eulogy to my twenty-two-year-old brother. You know?"

"I get ya. I totally do. How’s Alex dealing with this whole situation? You two have only been together for a couple of weeks.”

“Great. He’s my rock. He, unfortunately, understands what happened. It sucks that he went through this type of loss, though.”

“Well, I didn’t get a chance to tell ya this yesterday, but it seems like he adores you. It’s adorable.”

I took a glance over at him. He was talking to Henry and was laughing; they seemed to hit it off.

“And he made friends with Conner’s best friend, too.”

I returned to my seat ten minutes later and kissed Alex’s cheek.

“Hey.” he said.

“Hey.”

When the clock hit ten, it was time for the service and my heart began to race. The minister stood just mere feet in front of my family and I held tightly onto Alex’s hand.

“We are gathered here today to honor and pay tribute to the life of Conner Hennessy and to express our love and sympathy for him. It’s only natural that we should be sad because, in a practical sense, Conner is no longer a part of our lives. However, in a spiritual, he still is here with us today and forevermore.

I let out a deep sigh and tried to hold in my tears.

“For we have a powerful sense of loss; combined with a recognition that; if death must come, it’s as well that it’s not unduly prolonged, we don’t want to see someone we love suffer, so this sorrow and our sense of the fitness of things, don’t sit easily together, one of our proceedings here today, is in some way to try to reconcile these feelings.

Today is also a day for memories. Today will be remembered for many reasons, but mainly I hope, it’ll be remembered by you all as a very special day in which you shared some times with others; in order to pay your last respects and to say both mentally and physically; a sad and fond farewell to a wonderful young man, a man whom we were all so very privileged to have known.

We are here this morning in order to pay our last respects and bid a sad but fond farewell to Conner. We are here also so that in our own way, we can celebrate and honor and pay tribute to his life, and in doing so, we express our sincere love and admiration to him.

You all are very welcome, I’m Stephen Lochner and it’s a great privilege and honor for me to officiate at the funeral of such a well-liked and respected man.

I never had the privilege of knowing Conner, but I have spent some time with his family over the past few days, however as I’m not going to use that as a platform to talk about Conner. I’m going to leave that to the people who really knew him, the people who really counted in his life; you, his family and his friends, and so despite the obvious difficulty of the situation, his mother, his father and his sister are now going to speak.”

My parents and I discussed who wanted to speak first and I ultimately decided to go first to get it over with because I am on the verge of tears. I looked at Alex who gave me an encouraging smile before I walked up to the podium. I went over what I was going to say but still had my notebook with me just in case.

“Hello, everyone. I’m sure just about everyone who knows who I am, but in case you don’t, I’m Conner’s sister, Harper. I was hoping not to say goodbye to him like this, but unfortunately, here I am. Here we all are to say goodbye to someone who has left this life way too early. My brother was such a kind soul and wouldn’t hurt a fly which made him a target when he was a teenager.”

A few tears ran down my face.

“He was subjected to bullying but always got through each and every day till graduation. Life didn't get much better, but I tried my best to be there for him and protect him as I had done since we were both kids. I like to think he's finally at peace and having fun like riding his bike or even skateboarding. One of my favorite memories of Conner was when he had his first crush on a girl. He was ten and I was fifteen. He asked for advice on how to talk to a girl and it was the cutest thing; he ended up talking to her and they quickly became boyfriend and girlfriend. Unfortunately, he couldn't find the happiness he deserved in life, but I'm certain that he has found it in death. I love him and miss him every day and I always will. Thanks for listening.”

I could hardly get the last two sentences as more tears fell and I started choking up. I sat down next to him and he pulled me into him where I laid my head on his shoulder. I felt his lips on the top of my head while tears continued to run down my face.

“I wanna go home. Baltimore.” I whispered.

“Soon, baby. Soon.”

My parents’ speeches didn’t help as they were both brought to tears, including my dad who I have never seen cry. The actual funeral when they were lowering his casket into his grave was even more painful and gut-wrenching. I had never been more relieved this entire few days back in my hometown. There was a luncheon and after that, I was immediately heading back to the apartment I shared with Iris, her and Alex.

“Are my eyes red? Bloodshot?” I asked at the luncheon.

“A little of both, but that it’s okay. You’ll be better soon.” Alex said.

He caressed my face and I placed my forehead against his.

“You have no idea how much I’m looking forward to leaving. I just wish it wasn’t a ninety-minute drive.”

“We’ll be back there in no time.”

I sat back and nodded.

“I’m gonna go eat. You want something?” he asked.

“No.”

“You sure? I think you should eat something.”

“I’m fine.”

“Har-“

I didn’t answer him. He tried one last time with a hand on my shoulder. I shook it away and started to play a game on my phone. I heard someone sit beside me, someone who wasn’t Alex. I turned to see my grandmother.

"Memaw." I said, embracing her.

"Harper. I'd ask if you're okay, but I know you're not. I do know that was a beautiful speech you gave about Conner."

"Thank you. I worked hard on it."

"It came from your heart. That beautiful heart of yours."

I heard Alex come back.

"I'm sure this boyfriend of yours agrees."

I looked over at him and smiled at the man who was smiling back at me; he agrees.

"I'm gonna miss you when I leave." I said.

"I'm gonna miss you, too."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

Then, she turned to Alex.

"Please take care of my little Harper."

"I certainly will."

I blushed and looked at the ground; she left seconds later. My grandmother loves him and apparently trusts him with me with her entire heart and soul.

"Your memaw is amazing."

"Tell me about it. I love her to death.”

“I grabbed you something to eat. It’s just a little something...”

“Well, you’re certainly persistent. Aren’t you?”

“Just a little bit.”

I laughed before I kissed him. When it came time to leave, I had a heavy heart, but I also desperately wanted to head back to Baltimore. After the luncheon was over, I went to find my parents so I could say goodbye. I found my mom and dad outside speaking to a mutual friend of theirs; once they each hugged her before she left. My mom turned around and saw me.

"Hey honey. You leaving?"

"I'd love to stay, but I need to get back to Baltimore."

She frowned but nodded.

"I understand. You have a life out there. I love you." she said hugging me.

"I love you, too."

I turned to my dad after hugging my mom and said goodbye to my dad.

"I love you, Dad."

"I love you, too, Harper."

With each hug, tears began to build up again.

"You two stay safe. Ok?"

"Absolutely."

Seeing that Iris already said goodbye to everyone, she walked over to us.

"You guys ready to head back?" she asked.

"Yeah. Let's go."

I took Alex's hand and off we went to my car; we already packed the car before we left, so we could leave straight after the luncheon. The drive back went by faster than I thought it would which I was thankful for; I decided to walk him to his door instead of taking him home with me.

"Thanks for coming with me to Delaware. You have no idea how much it meant to have you there."
I said, holding his hands.

"I was glad to be there with you despite the circumstances."

I brought his lips to mine while I wrapped my arms around his neck; he wound his own around me.

“You wanna come in?”

“As tempting as that sounds, I should get home. I'm going back to work tomorrow."

"You think you're gonna be okay? We both know how these the past few days have been like for you."

"I do and I miss it, too. It brings me so much joy to help people."

He smiled.

"Ok, but if you need me, I'm one call away."

"Alright. I'll talk to you later, then."

I kissed him one last time before heading out to my car where my best friend was waiting for me.

"He wanted me to stay." I said, pulling out.

"Why didn't you?"

"You know why. Work."

"You can go another day. What's it gonna hurt?"

"It's gonna be good to get back. I miss it incredibly."

She nodded.

"I got ya. It's time to start our lives again."

"Absolutely."

I could not wait to see what life has in store for me next.

Notes

Comments

Harper should get pregnant as revenge

Heyo, I just replied to your forum post and I decided to see if you're writing anything. And you are! I'm going to support you and read your stuff. I just started this, so give me a second to read it all. So far, I'm liking it.