Without the Love
Days Spent Without Her
“How do you define a home/ when all you know is the road? How do you define a calling/ when all you know is behind you?” His fingers flew over the strings of the old beat up Seagull acoustic on his lap, his head tilted down so that he could hear the steel strings vibrate under his touch. When he tried to shift to a new chord, his clumsy fingers slipped and the strings underneath the pads of his fingertips shrieking. The sound echoed through his silent Los Angeles apartment even after his fingers stopped on the strings. He jotted down the last two chords he had played before sinking back into his couch cushions, exhaling sharply. Bas picked up his scruffy head from his perch under the coffee table and tilted it, to mimic Alex’s forlorn expression. “Don’t look at me like that.”
The apartment, strewn in beer bottles and takeout containers, rang with Peyton’s rough bark, coming from the bedroom, to which Bas hopped up and trotted down the hall. Alex reached for the fullest glass bottle on the coffee table, tipped to smooth coldness to his lips, and took a slow swallow. The dogs, the damned dogs, probably conferring on his depraved mental state. He finished the bottle, dropped it onto the floor, and fished his cellphone out of the couch cushion. The screen was busy, six text messages, a missed call, four emails, and two Instagram notifications; none of them were the name he wanted to see but he gave up three years ago hoping that it would ever pop in to his life again. He sifted through the text previews from Rian and Matt and the two newest emails, both from his record label, and stopped at the first missed called. Jack Barakat. An hour ago. As much as everything told him not to answer the call, to not give Jack the satisfaction, there was so much more in him that told him to reach out; that three and a half years was too long a time to leave bridges burned. Especially when it was his best friend that he was burning them with.
So he rubbed his face, sat up straighter on the couch, and hit redial on the number he’d called a million times - only to have hung up on with the first ring.
Jack answered on the fourth ring. “I didn’t think you’d get back to me so soon,” his tone was level, dry, the same timbre he used whenever he and Alex had to interact. “Rian said that you don’t really uh, answer your phone so I figured I’d have like...four days before you got back.”
“Yeah, well,” Alex cleared his throat as he stumbled to get up. He walked, slowly, heavy footed into the kitchen and ripped open the refrigerator door. There was a grouping of glass bottles, a half gallon of orange juice, and a box of takeout that he couldn’t remember when he’d stuffed in there. “Everything okay?” He checked the expiration date on the orange juice as he scratched at the three days worth of growth on his face.
“Yeah...yeah...everything is fine.” Jack paused, in the background he could hear people yelling incoherently and the crash of something. “Sorry for the uh noise.”
Alex was silent, popping the top off the orange juice and taking a swig. If Jack really had a reason for the phone call he was sure it would come out eventually and his groggy, alcohol steeped brain wasn’t one for impatience. He could wait it out.
“I uh...well I have a favor I need to ask.” Jack said finally. It sounded like he had moved somewhere quieter. “The uh...the opening night for the bar is next Friday. Finally. And Zack and Rian already said they’d be here but uh…”
“But?” Alex yawned and took another swig of orange juice.
“I want you there. Look, I know things have not been stellar between us but you invested a good chunk of money into this and I think you should be there.”
“There. As in Baltimore.” The two men were both uncomfortable, uncomfortably silent. Alex sank down onto the floor, putting his face in his free hand with a grunt. It hurt his body, his thirty one year old bones weren’t used to so much movement at this point in time, and his head was beginning to throb again. Thank God he had taken the orange juice with him. Bas trotted into the kitchen and looked at him, followed by Peyton. The two dogs sat down in front of him on their hunches and watched Alex as if they were waiting for him to respond to Jack. Their brown, judgmental gazes had Alex shifting his hands through his hair in defeat. “I’ll be there.”
“Good.” Jack sounded relieved. “I’ll see you Friday.” He hung up before Alex could say another word. Or before he could go back on his agreement. And left Alex sitting, staring at his dogs, with his head throbbing. He knew immediately he was going to regret this.
Notes
Hi guys!
So, as I said after the last chapter, this story is the revamped version of my favorite fic I wrote years ago - so long ago that my characters hopefully have matured as much as I have!
This chapter’s song was “For the Sake of Remembering” by Dave Mellilo, the song for the last chapter was “Keep the Change You Filthy Animal” by All Time Low.
What do you guys think of Alex so far? I promise we’ll be seeing Macaria again really soon.
If you liked this chapter, or have any thoughts about Alex, Macaria, or where this stories going feel free to leave a comment, give it a vote, and subscribe!
- x.o.x.o M.T.
Wowwww... I am so late, but I am here. I'm so sorry for the delay in commenting!
I haven't really gotten on here as much lately. Life stuff. :/ And just, trying not to be so absorbed with the internet lately. I've gotten on social media a tad but I'm trying to take more breaks from it.
But I wanted to take some time to sit down on here and catch up with what I've missed, so here I am. :)
Cute interlude. <3 Their first kiss, aw. A bit scandalous, though, with the age gap, but at least they didn't rush into things. It's sweet how he was so confident in being with her, but then it changed. :( What happened?
I'm hoping following this comment I don't take forever to lead feedback again. Sorry about that, and looking at the comments, I take it you've probably waited since no one else has left feedback yet. :/ But I'll be here as much as I can be.
Oh, and in response to your author's note: Simple Creatures! YAAASSS, am I right? :D
Interested in seeing more. :)
2/18/19