If you could hear me now
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Jack’s POV
“Seriously Jack, I have warned you enough fucking times about this!” My mother shouted at me.
“I haven’t even fucking done nothing! Christ I’ve just gotten out of juvie for some fucking bullshit that wasn’t even my fault!” I shouted back at mum.
“Then why was they at the fucking door then!” Mum spat and I shrugged my shoulders because I had no clue.
“I don’t fucking know! Maybe it has something to do with you and the fucking drugs!” I shouted back and mum got up and slapped me hard round the face.
“I am doing the best I fucking can to bring you up and you keep on throwing it back into my face every chance you get!” Mum growled.
“Yeah because being a drug dealer and a cheap slut is doing everything you could.” I scoffed sarcastically which again earns me a slap round the face again.
“Get the fuck out of my face. I don’t want you back here tonight.” Mum growled and I rolled my eyes.
“I can get out of your face but after 6pm I need to be home. Remember it’s part of my release deal.” I said as I grabbed my stuff and walked out the house.
I was sat in this field when I heard something so I sat up and saw this person which made me frown slightly.
“Thought I was the only one who came out here.” A familiar voice said and I turned round and saw Alex standing there.
“My escape place.” I said as I lead back down in the grass and Alex joined me.
“Same here really.” Alex said quietly and I looked at him.
“Please I bet you live in a fancy house, a family which loves you and you have nothing to worry about. Your meals are on the table when you get home you have a easy life.” I said and Alex looked down.
“Yes my family loves me but my house isn’t fancy, I have a lot to worry about and I cook the meals for my family. I might look like I have the high life but I really don’t so don’t go judging before you even know what I have to put up.” Alex said seriously and I looked at him again.
“Wow you cook the meals for your family that is fuck all.” I said and Alex sighed.
“You want to know something? Try living with a family where everyone is deaf. You are their ears for the world, you are their translator because hardly anyone signs. Try having to learn how to speak because all you know is sign language. By the looks of you yes you have it tough but at least you didn’t get bullied for being the kid with the retarded family.” Alex said as he stood up and walked off.
“Wait.” I said as I sat up and Alex stopped and turned round to look at me.
“Yesterday, you signed something to me.” I said and Alex chuckled.
“I was telling you to fuck off and I’m telling you now again to fuck off and don’t come near me.” Alex said as he turned round and walked off but I stood up and jogged after him and caught hold of his arm.
“Wait, okay yes what I said was mean and I obviously hurt your feelings by saying what I said.” I said and Alex stood still and pulled his arm out of my hold and he turned round and looked at me.
“People don’t understand. You act like you’re all tough but in reality you are just scared because of whatever has happened in your past. I know you can be violent and I know you have anger problems. But you need to get it under control otherwise you will have nobody.” Alex said quietly and this time I let him walk off.
I looked at the time and saw it was just after 6 which meant that in half an hour I’m going to ha e the police looking for me.
The question was do I risk going back to juvie or go back to a home where I’m not even welcomed too.
I decided to just walk into the police station.
“Mr Barakat you should be at home.” The person behind the desk said since I was known to the police.
“Yeah well I’m not welcomed at home so I just thought I would come here and save you guys the hassle of trying to find me.” I said as I put my stuff on the counter.
“Are you just handing yourself in and risk going back to juvie?” The person asked.
“Right now, I don’t even give a shit because I have nothing out here to keep me out so yeah. If you want to send me back then send me back because I no longer care anymore.” I said and the person behind the counter frowned at me because in the past I would never of done this.
“Did you want someone to talk too Jack?” The person asked and I shrugged my shoulders because I didn’t know what I wanted.
“Okay sweetie, shell we book you in and give you cell and then I’ll get someone to come and talk to you if you would like.” The person asked and I again I just shrugged my shoulders and I got booked in and put into a cell.
I was sat on the floor thinking when someone unlocked the door which made me look at the door and my favourite police officer stood by the door.
“What are you doing here Jack?” The officer asked as they walked in and sat on the floor and pushed a coffee towards me which I took.
“Can’t go back home. Mum is back on the drugs and sleeping around. Dad has done a runner somewhere so I have no where to go. I thought instead of being hunted down then I would just turn myself in and wonder what happened.” I said and the officer nodded in a understanding way.
“Have you got any other family or friends you can stay with?” The officer asked and I shook my head.
“I have nobody right now.” I said quietly.
“Okay, is there anyone from school you can call?” The officer asked and I shook my head but then Alex came to my head.
“There is someone but they don’t really like me and we only met like today so I haven’t got their number. They have their own drama to worry about so don’t need mine.” I said as I messed with my top.
“Okay I’m going to go and talk to probation officer and see what we can do for you. You realise this could mean you might be put into care.” The officer said and I shrugged my shoulders.
“Been backwards and forwards in care so it makes no difference to me, anyway I’ve only got like 4 months left until I’m thrown out onto the streets as I’m going to be 18 so might as well make the most of have some sort of safe place to go.” I said quietly.
“You never know what could happen in those 4 months, a lot can happen.” The officer said and they got up and walked out the cell and locked the door behind them.
I sighed loudly as I got off the floor and went over to the bed and lead down with my back to the door.
———————————————————————————————————————
I was walking around school when I felt someone catch hold of my arm which made me stop and turn round to see Alex.
“Thought you didn’t want me anywhere near you.” I said and Alex shrugged his shoulders as he let go of my arm.
“Well you look pretty lost and looking like you need a friend.” Alex said and I scoffed.
“Yeah well that’s just me sadly, as for being a friend. You can stick it right up where the sunshine’s.” I said and I turned round and went to walk off but Alex caught hold of my hand again which made me spin round and punch Alex hard in the face which made him fall to the floor.
“Just stay the fuck away from me!” I shouted and a boy went over to Alex.
“What the fucking hell do you think your playing at!” The boy said loudly as he checked Alex over and I couldn’t give a shit and I turned round and walked away.
But I didn’t get far as I was called to the heads office.
“Who do you think you are punching a student!?” The head said loudly at me.
“Well the asshole wouldn’t leave me alone after I told them I wanted them to leave me alone and guess what, he didn’t leave me alone and he got a punch round a face.” I said sarcastically.
“Alex was trying to be a friend because he also probably needs a friend. Not many people get Alex’s trust to be his friend. I also noticed you missed school yesterday.” The head said and I looked down.
“I was in a cell and then yesterday I spent all day talking to the social worker and then getting my ass landed into care. So right now, I don’t even want to be here.” I said and the head frowned at me.
“I know you are on a tag but I didn’t know you got yourself a arrested.” The head said and I rolled my eyes.
“I didn’t get myself arrested. I took myself to the station and then I stayed there for the night and then got my ass handed to the care system. Yaaaay what a wonderful start of the fucking week.” I said and the head nodded.
“Are you coping okay with the transition?” The head asked and I shrugged my shoulders.
“Been in and out of care since I was 7. I pretty used to it by now.” I said quietly as I looked down and messed with my hands.
“You need to stop punching other students. You’ll be lucky if you get Alex’s trust again. Alex will understand you because in a way Alex is a lot like you. Minus the part of him being in jail, you are misunderstood and so is Alex. I know when I first started here 13 year old Alex was on the verge of being kicked out and was in a really bad place. Alex changed, and I believe you can change as well but you won’t allow yourself to change because of everything you have been through.” The head said and I sighed loudly.
“Okay, so I want you to go out there and find Alex and apologize to him. If you want to get Alex’s attention I would suggest going to the field between lessons 3 and 4 and Alex will be having a cigarette. Offering him one and you’ll slowly get a friend in Alex.” The head said and I looked at him and frowned.
“You’re not meant to be encouraging your students to smoke.” I said and the head chuckled softly.
“What I want is to have two very capable and smart students to be able to be friends and support each other. The only way to do that is to encourage some bad habits which I know deep down you are dying to break the rules.” The head said and I smiled as I nodded.
“Damn you’ve worked me out.” I said quietly and the head chuckled.
“Okay now I would punish you, but I think what is happening in your life right now is a very stressful and I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone.” The head said and I smiled at him.
“Thanks.” I said quietly as I got up and walked out the room.
I did what the head said and went for a cigarette like the head said and I found Alex sat under the tree.
I walked over and sat next to him.
“If your here to beat me up again then you can get up and fuck right off okay. Because right now I don’t even want you near me right now.” Alex said seriously and I nodded slightly.
“I understand.” I said quietly and offered him a joint which Alex sighed and looked back at me.
“It’ll help with the pain.” I said and Alex took the joint off me and started to smoke it.
“I wouldn’t be in pain if you didn’t punch me round the bloody face.” Alex spat.
“I’m really sorry I punched you like I did.” I said as I looked down but I could feel Alex’s eyes on me.
“Yeah well thanks to you I now have to go home and explain to my mum that I’m not like how I was before and that I’m not in a abusive relationship. So thanks because of you my mother will not trust me now.” Alex said and I looked at him.
Alex was looking out at the field and smoking the joint.
“I’m really sorry.” I said quietly as I stood up and walked off and gave Alex his space.
I was busy putting my stuff in my locker when Alex showed up beside me.
“I can forgive you, but you’ve got to promise me that this never happens again.” Alex said and I shut my locker door and looked at his busted face.
“How could you forgive me for doing this to you? I mean I feel awful that I took what has happened to me out on you.” I said and Alex looked down.
“Let’s just say some shit has happened in my past and I’m forgiving you because I know that somewhere deep inside that you don’t want to be like this. I’m giving you a second chance because yeah you’ll probably punch someone else but I know me forgiving you will let you know that I’m here and I want to be your friend.” Alex said and I looked down.
“What if I don’t want you to forgive me?” I asked as I looked at Alex.
“well that’s when I turn around and say tough shit because I do forgive you.” Alex said and I sighed loudly letting him win this argument.
I looked back at Alex and I sighed again as I felt really guilty about punching him.
“Look I know you don’t want to be friends with me and all that shit, but I’m literally going to be the best person you can have has a friend.” Alex said and I frowned at him confused on what he means.
Alex signed something and just walked off and I watched him and I couldn’t help but smile at myself and a small bit of hope went through me that Alex wasn’t going to be like the others.
——————————————————————————————————————
“So you are aware of Jack’s sudden outburst of violence and be very challenging.” My social worker said and I rolled my eyes.
“Help help I’m so fucking dangerous, lock me away. Oh wait yeah you can’t do that because I’ve already done that.” I said sarcastically and the social worker looked at me in a displeased way.
“Yes, we’re aware of Jack’s behavior and what he would need from us.” The woman who might be my foster mum said.
“Are you aware of Jack’s past?” My social worker asked the woman and I looked at her as I sat back in my seat and folded my arms.
“As you are aware Jack file is a big file to read, at this moment of time I haven’t got to Jack’s past.” The woman said and I scoffed.
“Want me to shorten it down for you love? Been in and out of care all my life been abused in 3 of my foster homes, my mother was a whore who loved drugs and sleeping with men more than loving me. Been to juvie for something which was t even my fault and if you really really want to know as well I am also very gay as well so now it’s up to you if you want anything to do with a mess of a child like me.” I said as I stood up and walked out the room and went outside.
I was on the step when I saw Alex walking past with 2 children.
Alex happened to look up and saw me and he signed something to the kids and they all walked over to me.
“Why are you in a care home?” Alex asked and I chuckled.
“Because dumbass, I’m a unwanted child.” I said and Alex rolled his eyes.
“I doubt you are a unwanted child.” Alex said and I raised a eyebrow at him.
“Then why am I at this shit hole then if I’m not a unwanted child.” I said and Alex shrugged his shoulders.
“Maybe because you’re a little bugger and won’t let someone in or to show you what love is, instead you just act like a asshole and wonder why you have nobody beside you.” Alex said and the boy shook Alex’s hand which made Alex looked at him as he signed something to Alex and Alex nodded and signed something back to him and looked at me.
“Well I have two mouths to feed, I’ll see you around Jack.” Alex said as he walked off but I stood up a d jogged over to him and caught hold of his wrist which made Alex look at me.
“Please can I have your number, Incase I need someone.” I said and Alex smiled softly at me as he got his phone out and I gave him my number.
