American Dreams
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Trigger Warning.
Jack’s POV
I crawled into school pretty much with my head still hurting from the party over the weekend and the fact mum had a right go at me for not letting her or anyone know what I was staying round Alex’s so my head was also hurting from all the shouting I had at 7 in the morning.
“Jesus someone looks rough this morning.” Justin said and I groaned loudly as I rested my head against my locker.
“Rough is the biggest understatement of the year right now.” I said quietly as I moved my head and opened my locker and got my books I needed.
“Take it You went to that party on Saturday then.” Justin said and I looked at him.
“You think? Anyway why are you bugging me? Haven’t you got your own friends to bug for this morning.” I said not really in the mood for Justin’s happiness.
“Yeah I do but I just want to make sure you’re okay.” Justin said.
“I’m fine okay. I’ll see you in class.” I said as I shut my locker and walked off to have a cigarette before class as I was in serious need for one.
I was sat on the field looking through Facebook when someone sat with me.
“Damn you look rough.” Alex said and I looked at him.
“Yeah well I need a cigarette and get myself off those pills I was taking.” I said quietly which made Alex frown.
“Shit your not a drug addict are you?” Alex asked and I shook my head.
“No I’m not a drug addict. They was just some strong pills and might be a bit addictive. It’s fine I’m normally like this after taking them and drinking.” I said and Alex frowned at me.
“I can say that about the coke I was taking but I’m no where near like you.” Alex said and I sighed.
“Please I don’t want to have this drama at this time of the morning, I’m already in the shit with mum and I don’t need it from you.” I said and Alex gave me another cigarette which I took and started to smoke it.
“What was you taking?” Alex asked and I shrugged my shoulders.
“Whatever Eric gave me. Which was probably a mixture of drugs.” I said quietly as I lead on my back feeling like I was about to die.
“Jesus Jack.” Alex said softly.
“I’m fine, I’m always fine in a few days just need to get the drugs out my system.” I said and Alex sighed loudly.
“Anyway, we’re not talking about my drugged up ass anymore.” I said as I sat up regretting it straight away.
“So I see Justin is all over you.” Alex said and I chuckled as I had some of my cigarette and I blew some smoke out of my nose.
“Please he isn’t even my type and he wouldn’t be able to cope with me.” I said and Alex laughed and I frowned at him.
“I fucked him for a year, trust me whatever he can get his dick into he can be anyone’s type.” Alex said and I groaned.
“Help me please, I don’t want to be with him.” I said and Alex chuckled.
“Just tell him, yeah you might hurt his feelings but he shouldn’t be such a needy little cunt.” Alex said.
“Speaking from experience?” I asked and Alex looked at me.
“Yeah and when I finished things with him he actually cried.” Alex said and I chuckled.
“You heart breaker.” I said and Alex shrugged his shoulders.
“He Knew it was just for sex and no feelings but he brought his feelings into it and I’m not the biggest fan of relationships so I had to end it with him.” Alex said as he looked down and messed with the grass.
“But you did like him, you just won’t admit to yourself that you did.” I said and Alex looked at me.
“Yeah he was good company but I wouldn’t go beyond that to be honest. He was pretty clingy as well and I don’t do that sort of shit, would like to think the person I’m with trusts me enough not to do anything.” Alex said and I looked down.
“You shouldn’t mess with people’s emotions like you do.” I said and looked at Alex who was looking at me confused.
“I don’t.” Alex said and I sighed as I stood up and got my bag and walked away and went to class.
I just wanted some space as I was feeling like I was on a proper down so at lunch I sat on my own listening to my music quietly when someone came over and sat with me which made me look up and Alex was sat in front of me.
“Want to know the reason I don’t do relationships?” Alex asked and I sighed.
“You don’t have to tell me. I’m just being a grump that’s all.” I said and Alex smiled as he put his hand on my knee which made me smile.
“Lets just say I’ve seen things and went through a lot and I guess I’m just scared that I get with someone and they would be like the things I’ve seen.” Alex said and I put my hand on top of his and Alex linked his fingers through mine.
“You can’t let your past stop you from doing what you want. I understand relationships aren’t for everyone but I generally think you want one but you stop yourself.” I said and Alex smiled.
“Why are with him?” Someone said and me and Alex both looked up and Alex pulling his hand away from mine which hurt for some reason.
“I’m being a friend.” Alex said and I noticed Justin standing there.
“You don’t do friends, you only befriend people so you can have sex with them.” Justin said and I couldn’t be bothered to hear anymore of this so I stood up and walked off.
“Jack.” I heard Justin say after me and I stopped and turned round to face and I saw Alex standing behind him.
“Fuck off Justin, Christ you are acting like I’m your boyfriend when I’m nothing like that. I have no fucking feelings towards you so stop acting all defensive over me. I can look after myself and let me learn from my mistakes for fuck sake.” I said loudly and turned round and walked off and I couldn’t put up with school so I walked out of school and ended up at a park.
I must of been sat here for a while as I heard the gate open and shut and when I looked up I saw Eric and Alex.
It also didn’t help matters because I took a bunch of the pills I had and I felt really sick and spaced out.
“Jack, come on buddy what have you done.” I just about heard Eric say and I looked at him and Eric sighed loudly.
“You’re meant to be getting off the pills Jack.” Eric said seriously.
“I..I..I am.” I said but I threw up which made Eric jump out the way as I threw up.
“He’s overdosed on whatever pills you gave him.” I heard Alex say seriously.
“You know fuck all okay. Just fuck off and let me deal with this.” Eric said.
“I’m not leaving him like this, he need medical help.” Alex said.
“We don’t have the fucking money for medical bills. Jesus why do you think I deal the drugs.” Eric said and I felt Alex look at me.
“Jack is clean from the dealing drugs.” Eric said.
“And yet he has overdosed on some fucking pills you gave him.” Alex spat.
“Yeah so Jack deals a little he was meant to make some money at the party you two went too.” Eric said and I could see the hurt on Alex’s face.
But I was shocked when Alex moved and sat beside me and sat me up.
“Lean on me if you have too.” Alex said softly as I lent against him.
“You can come home with me and stay with me for a while if you want.” Alex said as he moved some hair from my face and he got a tissue from somewhere and wiped my mouth.
“I can’t leave mum.” I whispered and I looked at Eric.
“Take him home with you, our home is no place for Jack.” Eric said and I frowned at him wanting him to answer my unspoken question.
Eric knelt down beside me.
“Mum has lost it okay, she’s back on the drugs and she was welcomed the woman beater back into the house. You know what that means don’t you.” Eric said softly and I nodded as I felt my heart break because if I was to go back home it would mean that the police would be round soon and if I was in the house I would be taken into care.
“I’ll meet Alex here in 3 hours with some of your stuff.” Eric said softly and looked at Alex who nodded and Eric got up and left.
“Come on buddy, let’s get you home and clean you up.” Alex said as he stood up and helped me up and put his arm round me and walked me back to his.
Alex had left me alone in the bathroom so he could speak to his mum and the thoughts which I never wanted to returned was filling my head.
I just let myself go under the water and just stayed there for what I thought was enough time but I was pulled up and that when I started to cough and splutter.
“You fucking crazy!?” A girls voice said seriously and I looked and saw it was one of Alex’s sisters.
“Jesus, Alex get up here now!” The girl said quietly before shouting for Alex.
“What?” Alex said panting like he had just ran up the stairs.
“He’s a fucking mess, he nearly drowned himself.” Alex’s sister said and Alex looked at me and I looked down.
“Mum said you can stay here as long as you want.” Alex said and I nodded.
“Why you shouting Alex for?” Alex other sister said as she walked into the bathroom.
“Jesus Alex what has Mum said about bringing strays into the house.” Alex sister said and the other girl moved and stood by the girl who just spoke.
“Can you just fuck off and give us some space.” Alex said and the girls walked out shutting the door behind them.
“Jack look at me.” Alex said softly and I looked at Alex.
“I’m sorry.” I whispered and Alex lent forward and kissed me which I returned.
“It’s okay, you are here and you are safe now and we are going to look after you.” Alex said softly and I nodded.
“Come on let’s get you some clothes and then I can get your stuff from Eric.” Alex said and I nodded as I stood up but Alex scooped me up and made sure I was covered as he carried me to his room.
“Here put some bottoms on and then you can sleep this off and have something to eat if you feel like eating. Either Nala or Rowe will keep an eye on you or even get into bed with you as they have no respect for personal space.” Alex said and I smiled as Alex kissed the top of my head.
“Get some sleep okay. I’ll be back soon.” Alex whispered and I nodded as I climbed into bed and got comfy and I just passed out.
“Just leave him alone Rowe, he’s had a shit day.” I heard Alex say as he walked into the room where I was just waking up.
“He nearly killed himself Alex.” The girl said and I felt something on my leg.
“But he didn’t and he is still here and he is still fighting to live his life. I don’t know what shit he has been through but I do know that he needs us, he needs us more than ever because for the first time in his life he’s probably somewhere where he wants to be and somewhere he feels safe.” Alex said and I couldn’t help it but I rolled over and groaned loudly which made Alex chuckle.
Alex moved so he was behind me and pulled me into his chest and I felt a arm round my waist.
“Just don’t get your hopes up.” The girl said as she got up and walked out the room.
“Does she think I’m going to run?” I asked quietly.
“Rowe and Nala don’t want me to get hurt. They’ve never actually seen me interested in someone before.” Alex said quietly and I rolled over to face him.
“Do you think I’m stupid?” I’m whispered as I looked down.
I felt Alex finger under my chin and made me look at him.
“We’ve all done stupid things in our lives.” Alex said and I smiled slightly.
Alex didn’t say anything and he just pulled me into his chest and he kissed the top of my head and there was yet another knock on the door which made Alex sigh loudly as the person walked in the room.
“Dinner is ready.” A older sounding voice said.
“Come on let’s get some food.” Alex said and I shook my head.
“I’m not hungry.” I said quietly and Alex kissed the top of my head and climbed over me.
“Well I’m really hungry so you going to be okay here while I’m gone.” Alex said and I nodded as I got comfy again.
“Yeah I’m just going back to sleep again anyway.” I said quietly as I slowly fell asleep again.
I was rudely woken up by someone gently shaking my arm.
“Jack wake up.” I heard someone say and I opened my eyes and saw Alex and smelt some sort of soup.
“Christ I thought you was dead.” Alex breathed out and I smiled slightly at him.
“Still here.” I said as I moved to sit up and I looked at the bowl of soup and I smiled as I looked at Alex.
“You didn’t have too.” I said quietly and Alex smiled as he moved and got the bowl of soup and put it on his lap.
“Well you know what mums are like, if anyone looks under weight then they have this need to fatten them up.” Alex said and I looked down and thought of Mum.
“My mum never cared, when my dad was alive I was ship off to boarding school while everyone else traveled the world. Then my dad got killed and my mum turned into a druggie and would sleep with men to get money for the house and for her fixes as well as holding a part time job. My mum never cared about me.” I said quietly and Alex put his hand on my knee as I looked down.
“I’m sorry about that. But just so you know, my mum isn’t like that. She’ll treat you like how she treats me, Nala and Rowe. You’ll be another member of the family.” Alex said and I smiled as Alex moved some hair from my face.
“Have some soup.” Alex said and I shook my head.
“Do I have to feed you? Because I will feed you if I have too.” Alex said and I smiled.
Alex moved into a more comfortable position and I sat up slightly and Alex started to feed me.
After I finished Alex put the bowl on the side and looked at me.
“See it wasn’t that bad now was it?” Alex said and I smiled as I shook my head.
“No, it was really nice.” I said quietly.
“Mum had that saved up for when one of us are ill, she likes to cook and make soup.” Alex said and I smiled.
I heard Alex’s sisters argue something about something.
“You’ll get used to it. Makes a change actually because it’s normally me and one of those two who is arguing.” Alex said and I chuckled slightly.
“I’m just going to take this downstairs and have a shower. You going to be okay?” Alex said and I smiled as I nodded.
“I’m going to be okay.” I said quietly.
“Okay, so here is my Xbox control so you can either help me get pass this level I keep on dying on or you can watch Netflix. Also just a heads up if you play the game then Nala might come in as she likes her video games.” Alex said and I nodded and Alex smiled as he walked out the room.
I was playing this game when someone came into the room and I looked up and a girl was stood there and I guessed it was Nala.
“So you’re the famous Jack.” Nala said as she walked over and got into bed which freaked me out a little but Alex said that his sisters have no sense of personal space.
“Yeah I’m Jack.” I said quietly as I handed her the controller which made her smile.
“Despite you nearly drowning yourself and having your problems you seem like a nice lad.” Nala said and I smiled.
“So what do you think of Alex?” Nala asked as she looked at me.
“He’s nice, he’s good looking and caring.” I said and Nala smiled.
“You two have fucked haven’t you, actually I know you two have as Alex blurted it out to me the other day.” Nala said and I looked down.
“Hey don’t be ashamed of it. Alex is a total catch and he isn’t one for relationships and bringing strays home so you are one lucky person.” Nala said and I looked at her confused.
“I’m not a stray. I have a home but my home isn’t stable enough for me.” I said and Nala paused the game and sat round to look at me.
“I understand that I really do. You have a home here, I know Alex will enjoy having you around and not being the only guy in the house.” Nala said and I chuckled.
“And for the record, Alex is a good lad and whatever problems you are having he will support you. He is boyfriend material you just might have to show him that. Also you might have to put up with him singing, he likes to sing like the little gay boy that he is.” Nala said and I couldn’t help but chuckle as if one cue Alex started to sing.
“He’s a good egg if you allow him to show you his sensitive side and you return it back to him.” Nala said as she got out of the bed and walked out the room while reached for the controller and carried on playing the game.
Alex walked into the room with just his pants on and I just looked at him and Alex caught me looking at him.
“Find something you like?” Alex asked with a smirk.
“I might of done.” I said and Alex walked over and sat on my legs.
“I don’t want to ruin things.” I whispered and Alex smiled as he lent forward and kissed me which I returned.
Alex pulled back and looked at me.
“You don’t ruin nothing.” Alex whispered and looked at me again and I sighed and kissed Alex again and things turned heated between us.
I was cuddled into Alex’s side watching a film as Alex messed with my hair.
“Did Eric say anything to you when you got my things?” I asked and Alex sighed as I think he was just falling asleep.
“He said look after yourself and that he will see you soon when you are better and that I should look after you since you are a good person.” Alex said sleepily.
“Did he say how Mum was?” I asked quietly.
“No, look don’t worry about her okay. Just settle down and go to sleep.” Alex muttered as he got comfy and he fell asleep.
