American Dreams
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Jack’s POV
It was the weekend and Alex’s mum was at work leaving the rest of us in bed until Rowe rudely woke everyone up as she got ready for work.
“Bitch it’s the fucking weekend so shut the fuck up!” Alex said sleepily as he rolled over and cuddled into my back.
“I don’t really care because it’s nearly 11 and I’m fucking late.” Rowe snapped and Alex sighed loudly as he rolled away from me and got out of bed and shut his bedroom door and walked back over to the bed and collapsed back onto it again which made me frown and grumble at him as I pulled the covers over my head as I felt Alex move up the bed and pulled some covers over him and his head was under the covers as well.
“You getting up?” Alex asked quietly and I shook my head as I rolled over to cuddle into Alex’s chest.
“You staying under the covers?” Alex asked as he moved some hair from my eyes.
“Yes, now fuck off and let me sleep.” I mumbled which made Alex chuckle as he moved the covers and sat up slightly which was when I heard his tv turn on.
I just got comfy again then I went back to sleep again.
“Come on let’s have a Harry Potter marathon.” Nala said as she jumped on the bed which made me and Alex look at her since I was having a bad day.
“In a bit Nala, Jack is having a bad day.” Alex said and Nala looked at me.
“You okay Jack?” Nala asked and I nodded which made Nala look at Alex.
“He’s good but we need some space okay. I’ll be down in a minute.” Alex said and Nala smiled as she got up and walked out the room.
I waited until she was out of the room before I spoke.
“Just let me have the pills.” I said and Alex shook his head.
“No, you are going through withdrawals so I’m not giving you the pills.” Alex said and I sighed as I started to Scratch my face.
“Babe, I know this is hard and at the moment the one thing you want is the pills but you are so much better than those useless pills.” Alex said as he put his hand on top of mine which made me look at him.
“I need the pills.” I whispered.
“It’s all in your head okay. It’s just the voices saying you need the pills.” Alex said and I shook my head.
“You don’t understand.” I said quietly and Alex rested his hand on my face.
“Yes I don’t understand but I don’t want you to go back to the pills.” Alex said softly.
“Let’s go and watch Harry Potter.” Alex said and I nodded as I went to move but Alex stopped me and lent forward and kissed me which I returned.
“I could do something if you want or do you want to go downstairs?” Alex asked and I looked at him as I kissed him which Alex took as a hint.
Alex had given me some space so I went outside to see Eric since I did miss not seeing him and I also took the opportunity to take some pills.
I met Eric by a park and he was looking rough.
“Jesus Eric.” I said and Eric sniffed as he sat next to me.
“You should See mum, I’m surprised she isn’t dead yet.” Eric said as he looked at me and I looked away from him.
“You’re meant to be getting clean Jack.” Eric said and I sighed.
“I am, today is just a bad day that’s all.” I said as lent back against the bench like how Eric was sitting.
“I’m guessing you want more pills?” Eric asked and I looked at him.
“I do want more pills but I also don’t want to be a drugged up 17 year old anymore. I have Alex now and I don’t want to be high all the time.” I said and Eric looked at me and smiled which I returned.
“You should get off the drugs as well you know. Then we can finally leave mum and have that house together like we had been saying since I was 8 and you was 12 and before you had to move schools.” I said Eric looked down.
“Jack you know what I’m like once I’m back on the drugs. You know what those boarding schools are like and after being forced to move away from you I couldn’t cope. Drugs was the only thing for me to forget and enjoy myself, just like when you got older alcohol was you escape.” Eric said and I sighed as I looked down.
“I can’t loose you as well Eric. We already lost dad, mum is heading towards a early grave and at the same time you are heading in that direction.” I said and Eric looked at me and put his hand on my knee.
“You are much better without us in your life Jack. You have Alex and his family now and you let them be your family now. They have that stable lifestyle that I want you to have, I don’t want you to messed up with all this shit Jack you deserve much better.” Eric said and I sighed as I put my hand on top of his.
“You’re still my family as well Eric. I’m always here for you.” I said and Eric smiled at me as he moved his hand and looked through his bag and gave me some pills.
“This is the last lot I will give you. You don’t use these unless you absolutely have no other choice in relapse. I want you to walk away from here and focus on yourself and Alex and not think about the failure of me and Mum are to you and you don’t look back Okay. You have to promise me that you don’t get back on the pills Jack.” Eric said and I looked down as I nodded and looked back at Eric.
“I promise Eric.” I said quietly and Eric smiled as he stood up and I did the same and we pulled each other into a hug.
“I’ll keep an eye on you okay, making sure you’re up to no good.” Eric said and I smiled as I nodded.
“Okay.” I whispered as I let Eric go.
“Please look after mum for me, I know she off her face and everything but please keep an eye on her for me.” I said and Eric nodded.
“I’ll do my best Okay.” Eric said and I smiled as I turned around and walked back to Alex’s.
I walked into Alex’s and I walked into the sitting room to find everyone watching Harry Potter.
“Hey babe.” Alex said happily which made me smile and I tightened my hand around the bottle of pills I had in my pocket and I sighed quietly to myself.
“Do you have a minute Lex?” I asked and Alex nodded as he got up and walked over to me and I caught hold of his hand and went out to the kitchen.
“I need you to hide these from me.” I said as I put the bottle of pills on the table.
“I thought you was meeting up with Eric to see how everything was getting on at your mums.” Alex said and I nodded.
“I did and we talked about home and mum, but Eric knows me well enough that if we meet up it means I want pills.” I said and Alex frowned at me.
“I want you to hide these from me because if I know where they are I will take them. I don’t want to be that person anymore but I need you to help me and keep them away from me.” I said and Alex nodded.
“I’ll hide them for you, but you’re not to go looking for them okay.” Alex said and I nodded and Alex picked up the bottle of pills which was on the table and he looked at me and walked over to me and kissed me which I returned.
“I’m proud of you okay.” Alex whispered as he kissed me again.
“Go and watch Harry Potter while I do this and then we can cuddle and watch it.” Alex said and I smiled as I nodded and turned round and went into the sitting room and sat on the sofa and waited for Alex to come back in.
Nala was in the room and I could feel her watching me.
“Spit it out Nala.” I said and Nala sighed as she got up and walked over to me and sat next to me.
“You okay?” Nala asked and I sighed.
“I’m fine, just having a hard time coming of the pills.” I said quietly.
“Just don’t get Alex involved with your shit, things have been hard enough for and he doesn’t need your mess to fuck him up again.” Nala said and I looked at her.
“I don’t want anyone involved with my shit. Anyway you know Jack shit about my life so don’t get all fucking good cop bad cop with me.” I said as I stood up.
“Really then how come you brought fucking pills into this house and now Alex is hiding them from you.” Nala said seriously and I turned round and looked at her.
“I have a fucking drug problem okay, what more do you want me to say to that? Alex is hiding the pills for me because if I know where they are then I will take the whole fucking lot and kill myself! Is that what you want to hear? Will you be happy that I’m out of your brothers life because he’s actually happy!” I shouted and Nala rolled her eyes at me.
I scoffed as I turned round and walked out the room and walked into Alex.
“Hey where you going I was just coming in for cuddles.” Alex said and I shook my head as I looked down.
“I’m no good for you okay. So you need to let me go and not come looking for me.” I said quietly and Alex made me look at him.
“What you talking about?” Alex asked softly.
“I am no good for you Alex, I am nothing but trouble and I will bring trouble to this house which is something I don’t want. So you need to let me go and not go looking for me. You need to promise me you are not going to come looking for me.” I said and Alex frowned at me.
“Okay, you aren’t going anywhere alright now I don’t know what’s going on in that head of yours but I know you don’t want to leave here.” Alex said and I looked down.
“Just let me leave and don’t come looking for me.” I whispered as I turned round.
“You’re breaking up with me?” Alex asked and I looked at him.
“Yes I am.” I said quietly and turned back round and walked out the house.
“Jack, Jack wait please.” Alex said as he ran after me and caught hold of my hand.
I stopped and turned around to look at Alex.
“Why? Tell me why you are leaving me, is it something I done?” Alex asked and I shook my head.
“I’m no good for you okay. I’ll just bring you down so you are better of staying away from me.” I said quietly.
“You are good for me, Jack I’m happy I’m with you, you have changed me okay. Please don’t do this.” Alex said and I rested my hand on his face.
“I need to go. You can do better than me.” I said softly and Alex shook his head as I lent forward and kissed Alex’s forehead.
