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I Have to Let You Down

FOUR

Alex

I woke up on the couch after barely getting a few hours of sleep. I was too busy watching infomercials and wondering what Jack meant about me not being much help for him and Alexa. I sent money every month for him to support both of them and to buy Alexa whatever she wanted. He obviously was angry about something else and taking it out on me.

I shook it off for now and got up to make breakfast. It was nine am so Jack and Alexa were going to be up any minute now. Jack and I were just going to pretend like last night never happened like we always did when we had small arguments like that one. I grabbed eggs, bacon, and the pancake mix and started cooking.

Ten minutes into cooking I heard the front door open and close. I thought that maybe Jack had walked by when I wasn’t paying attention, but I saw Cass sneak around the corner. She was wearing the same thing that I saw her wearing yesterday.

“I thought walks of shame didn’t start until noon?” I asked, and she jumped.

“Shit Alex.” She grabbed her chest and glared at me.

“Sorry, I thought you saw me.” I chuckled.

“I didn’t. Is Jack up?”

“No, he’s still asleep for now.” I told her.

“Oh good.” She took a deep breath. “I just saw his text message this morning, so I know he’s going to yell at me for not coming home to help him.”

“Help with what?”

“With you, Asshole. Why wouldn’t you leave them alone?” She asked, talking about Jack and Nemo or whatever the guy’s name was.

“I just wanted to get to know the guy.” I shrugged.

“You could have introduced yourself and then left them alone.” She scolded me.

“They were in my ‘room’. I had nowhere to go.”

“I’m sure Jack wouldn’t have mind letting you stay in his room until Nano left.” She said, and I rolled my eyes. “What’d you think of him anyways?” She asked.

“I thought he was a punk.” I grumbled, and she chuckled.

“He’s nice.”

“He’s too nice.”

“He’s what Jack needs.” She insisted.

“Jack said they weren’t together.” I told her, and she nodded.

“They’re not, but I think they should be.”

“I don’t.”

“Why not? Are you jealous?” She teased.

“Jealous of what? Of that wimp? Hell no!” I exclaimed, and she laughed.

“I mean do you not want Jack to date anyone else?”

“Jack’s an adult. He can do whatever he wants.” I mumbled.

“Well then it should be fine if they start dating right?”

“...Right.” I said while looking her in the eyes. I knew what she was trying to do. She wanted me to admit that I still had feelings for Jack. But there was no way I would say it out loud. Of course, I still had feelings for Jack. I never really wanted to break up in the first place, so I still cared for him. I’m not sure if he could say the same thing. Cass nodded and went into her room to change.

“Oh and I like my eggs over easy.” She said and I glared at her as she walked to her room.

I finished making breakfast twenty minutes later and Jack and Alexa still weren’t out yet. I turned all of the burners and went to see if they were still asleep. When I walked in I saw Alexa sitting up watching TV while Jack was lying down with his eyes closed.

“He left you up all alone, HoneyBunches?” I asked Alexa and picked her up and she nodded.

“I’m up too, I’m just resting my eyes.” Jack mumbled.

“of course you are, but I made breakfast so get up and come eat.”

“Bring it to me, I don’t feel like moving.”

“This isn’t a fuc-...a bed and breakfast so get up and come eat at the table like the rest of us.” I told him, and he flipped me off.

“I’m getting up. Just give me a second.” He yawned. I nodded and began carrying Alexa to the kitchen to eat. “Wait take her to the bathroom first.” Jack stopped me and I sighed.

I took Alexa to Jack’s bathroom and waited for her to pee in her training toilet. After we were finished with the cleanup I took her to the kitchen to eat. I knew she could eat the pancakes if I cut them small enough, but my mom never let me feed her eggs yet. She said something about her being too young and diseases or something.

“I want cereal.” Alexa told me as we walked into the kitchen.

“But I made pancakes. You don’t want those?” I asked, and she shook her head. “Fine I’ll get you cereal. Which one?” I pulled down all the boxes on top of the refrigerator and let her look at them.

“Dis one.” She pointed to the box of Captain Crunch.

“Okay.” I had to search in all of the cabinets to find a bowl, but I finally did. I poured the cereal in with one hand since I was still holding Alexa. Then I went to the fridge to get the milk.

“No.” Alexa told me and I stopped.

“No what? No milk?” I asked and she nodded.

I handed her the bowl of dry cereal and she ate a few. I chuckled as she crunched loudly on the dry cereal. “You’re a weirdo just like you dad.” I teased.

“I heard that, Jerk.” Jack said from behind me as he walked in the kitchen.

“Good so now I won’t have to say it twice.” I joked.

I sat Alexa down on the ground and went to get my own food like Jack was doing. He grimaced at the poached eggs I made for Cass and I and went for the scrambled eggs I made for him.

“You gave her the wrong bowl.” Jack told me, while glancing at Alexa.

“What’s wrong with that bowl?” I asked. It was a normal plastic bowl that she couldn’t break.

“Watch this. Come here, Bunny.” He said and Alexa walked over to him dropping some of her cereal on the ground because she was tilting her bowl. I stared in amazement, all she had to do was hold the bowl up right and it wouldn’t be all over the floor. I’ll never understand how toddlers work.

“If you put it in this bowl.” He held up a color gyroscope looking bowl. “Then it can’t fall out.” He took the bowl I gave Alexa and poured the rest of her cereal in the gyro-bowl. He turned the bowl upside down and around to show me how nothing spilled out then he handed it back to her.

“What kind of witchcraft is that thing made out of?” I asked and he laughed.

“I don’t know but I got it for twelve dollars at Target.” He reached down and picked up the few pieces the Alexa dropped on the floor and threw it away. Then we walked to the table to eat breakfast. Just as we were starting to eat, Cass came out changed into her pajamas.

“Wow whoever knew that it was this bright at ten pm.” Jack said sarcastically, and Cass sighed.

“I’m sorry, I just got caught up and lost track of time.” She apologized.

“When did you come home?”

“At midnight.” She lied.

“About thirty minutes ago.” I said and she glared at me. It was payback for her trying to make me admit that I still had a crush on Jack.

“So you’d spent the whole night with this guy?”

“Yeah so what? It’s not like we did anything.” She said and went to get some food.

“Oh I hardly believe that.” He chuckled.

“It’s true. We just stayed up talking all night.”

“You said the same thing about Rian.” Jack reminded her and she huffed.

“Rian said he could barely get any words out before you were pulling your shirt off.” I chuckled.

“If you bring up Rian again, I’m going to cut your tongue out.” She threatened.

“Noted.” I went back to stuffing my mouth with pancakes.

“Look Jack, Blake is different. He’s sweet and he didn’t pressure me into doing anything. It was natural.”

“Okay, I just want to make sure he treats you right.”

“Well how about she invite him over tonight and we have like a small party.” I suggested. I hadn’t had hard alcohol since I left tour and I wanted a reason to drink with the guys.

“Not if your friends are coming.” Jack said.

“What’s wrong with my friends?” I asked.

“It would be better if I said what wasn’t wrong with them.” He exaggerated, and I rolled my eyes.

“My friends are great. Come on, Alexa could stay with my parents and we can get drunk like we’re supposed to at this age.”

“I’m still twenty so I’m not supposed to be drinking.” Jack reminded me, and I laughed.

“That’s never stop you before. Especially not the night you got pregnant.” I taunted, and he shoved me and Cass began to laugh with me.

“You’re so annoying.”

“Let’s just have a nice get-together tonight.” I tried again, and Jack looked to Cass.

“What’d’ya think?” He asked her.

“It’s sounds fun, but Rian can’t come.” She said.

“Rian has to come.” I said and she looked at me. “Just think of it as a way to make him jealous by showing off your new arm candy.” I suggested. I knew Rian wouldn’t really car since he was already seeing someone new, but he was my best friend, he had to come.

“Yeah, okay, I guess that’ll be fun.” She shrugged.

“Great! And Jack you can invite Nemo.” I said and rolled his eyes at me.

“It’s Nano.” He said and mumbled a choice name at me that he didn’t want Alexa to here.

“Eh semantics.”

“What time?” He asked.

“Let’s shoot for nine. After Alexa’s bedtime so she’ll be too sleepy to miss us.” I said and he chuckled and agreed.

“Make sure you go to the liquor store. I want tequila.” Cass told me.

“Ooo and I want Fireball.” Jack added.

“Anything else?” I asked, bouncing my leg up and down.

“Yeah I need another Coke as a chaser cause you drunk mine last night.” Jack scolded me.

“Oh me too!” Cass exclaimed.

“Alright I’ll get all of that later on today.” I stood up from the table ready to go out for a cigarette. I began walking towards the door, but Alexa stopped me.

“I got too Daddy!” She called after me, sliding from the chair with her bowl of cereal still in her hands.

“I’m just going out for a minute, Babe.” I told her.

“I go too!” She repeated, sticking her lip out, begging me to take her with me.

“You’re gonna be the death of me, little girl.” I said as I picked her up to carry her out with me. “You can come out with me for a few minutes then you gotta come back in.” I told her and she nodded.
We went out of the back door and stood on the balcony. The weather felt great, that was one thing I missed about Baltimore. I walked closer to the rail, so we could look out at everything. Jack’s Balcony faced their pool, we were able to see people down there swimming.

“I-I wanna swim.” Alexa told me.

“You don’t know how to swim.” I chuckled.

“Mhmm!” She argued.

“Nun-un!”

“Mhmm!”

“Nun-un! You’re going to cry and beg for me to hold you in the water.”

“No I'm not.” She giggled.

“Oh I missed hearing your laughter.” I began kissing her all over her cheeks and she squealed. “I love you, Babe.”

“I love you too.” She said and I kissed her again.

The hardest part of being on tour was being away from Alexa. I went from seeing her every day when she was a baby to just seeing her weeks at a time in between tours. I was just lucky she started remembering who I was when I came back. When she was one she would cry every time I tried to hold her because she forgotten who I was. That feeling almost made me want to quick the band, but I didn’t and everything was sort of fine now.

“Daddy?”

“Yes?”

“Um um why don’t you stay with Dada and I?” She asked and I sighed. She loved asked tough to explain questions.

“Because I’m in a band. I’m always touring.” I answered. “And your dad and I couldn’t make things work?”

“Why?” She asked.

“Because we couldn’t agree on certain things.” I didn’t want to say too much and have Jack pissed at me.

“Why?”

“Because we’re both stubborn idiots.” I shrugged.

“Why?”

“Alexa, Babe, you gotta stop with the ‘why’s’.”

“Why?” She giggled.

“Okay you've successfully increased my nicotine cravings. Time to go in with your dad.” I told her.

“No! I stay with you!” She whined. I knew that would happened and I was prepared.

“But I have to kill all of the bugs out here so they don’t get in the house. Unless you want to help?” I asked.

“No no bugs!” She yelled and I chuckled.

“Okay let’s get you inside.” I opened the door and sat her inside for Jack. She ran over to him and I smiled successfully to myself and pulled out my pack of cigarettes and lighter.

**Jack**

I saw the door open and Alexa running over to me. I bent down to pick her up once she raised her arms for me to get her.

“Daddy is killing bugs.” She told me, and I laughed. Alex must have told her that to get her to come inside.

“Ugh I’ve been thinking. I don’t know about inviting Blake over. I don’t want him to think we’re moving too fast by having him meet my friends.” Cass worried.

“Did you guys...do it last night?” I asked.

“Yeah.” She mumbled.

“Well then if it’s not too soon for that then it’s not too soon for him to meet us.” I reasoned and she sighed.

“I guess you’re right. I’ll send him a message after I wash the dishes.” She said, trying to procrastinate on purpose.

“Let me know what he says.”

***

Thanks to Alex and I having to share my bathroom to get ready for tonight we were running a little late. It was already nine O’clock and we still needed to drop Alexa off at Alex’s parents’ house. We told her we’d take her together so we were both going and leaving Cass to greet guest. Alex’s parents didn’t live far so it wouldn’t take long anyways. I had packed Alexa’s bag earlier so all that was left was to take her to her grandparents’ house. Alexa had already fallen asleep in my bed so Alex picked her up and carried her out of my room.

“We’ll be back in a few, Cass.” I told her.

“Just get back before Rian gets here.” She threatened, and I chuckled.

Alex and I walked out to my car. He placed Alexa in her car seat and then got in the driver’s side since he was ‘a better driver than me’. We were at his parents’ house a few minutes later and he went to take Alexa inside. Once he came back out he reversed out of their driveway and began heading back to my house.

“Rian and Zack just texted they’re on their way. We should probably try to beat them there.” Alex told me and I laughed.

“Yeah before Cass murders us both.”

“Is um.. is that guy still coming?” He asked.

“Who Nano? Yeah he should be on his way too. Why?” I asked, and he shrugged.

“Just making sure you remembered to invite him.” He was lying. I could always tell when Alex was lying. He always bit his thumb nail when he was.

The rest of the ride to the apartment was silent. Alex parked back in my normal spot in the parking garage. We both got out and went back to my apartment. We were both still quiet and it was an awkward kind of silence. I took a deep breath as we walked inside of the apartment. Alex made everything so tense.

“Hey Mack, Danny, and Vinny.” Alex greeted all of his friends that were already here. They all did weird handshakes and I went to hug them all. I only knew Vinny from high school, but I had met Danny and Mack before.

“When’d you guys make it?” I asked.

“The Lyft driver just dropped us off about five minutes ago.” Vinny told me.

“Oh okay cool.” I went over to pick up a cup to make a mixed drink. I saw Rum and a large bottle of Coke on the counter and I went to make a rum and coke for myself.

“I have the same thing. I used way more Rum than Coke though.” Cass told me as she saw me mixing the two.

“I need a strong drink too.” I chuckled and mixed the two. I poured the rum first and then placed a splash of Coke in it to make it a little less strong.

There was a knock on the door and Danny opened it on his way to the fridge. Zack, Rian, and two girls walked in. I honestly regretted letting Alex invite his friends over. I liked Rian and Zack but they were closer to Alex than me. If I were in Cass’s shoes I would have completely uncomfortable. I looked over and she tried not to look bothered, but I could tell she was. We watched as they all greeted Alex and the other guys. They slowly made their way over to us and I put on a smile for them.

“Hey guys!” I exclaimed and hugged both of them. Cass stood back and waved with a fake smile.

“Hey, this is my girlfriend Dallas and Zack’s friend Anne.” Rian introduced them.

“It’s nice to meet you both.” I shook their hands and Cass gave them a polite smile and then left to fix another drink.

“Hey how have you been?” Rian asked.

“Great and you? How’s tour been going?”

“Touring has been tiring these last few days. We needed this break to recharge.” He chuckled.

“Yeah I can tell. Alex was exhausted his first day here.”

“How’s Alexa?” Zack asked.

“She’s doing fine. We took her to Alex’s parents’ house tonight, but she’ll be back with us tomorrow.” I said, and he nodded.

“Cool, I’ll have to see her before we leave.” He said, and Rian agreed.

“Yeah of course.” I said and excused myself to go find Cass. I found Cass at the counter filling up her cup again. She looked kinda pissed off. I knew I should have told Alex no.

“Hey what’s wrong?” I asked.

“Blake isn’t coming. He had to work today, and he’s exhausted.” She pouted.

“Aww it’s okay, we can always have another one of these things and invite him again.” I joked and she chuckled.

“Shut up.”

I stayed with her until I finished my drink and needed another one. I looked around at the amount of people in my apartment. I didn’t even notice more people had come over. There were a lot of people here that I didn’t know. They had to be friends of all these people Alex invited.

“Small get-together my ass.” I mumbled to myself. There were at least thirty people here now. I went to search through the crowd to find Alex, but I ran into Nano instead.

“Hey! When did you get here?” I asked.

“Just now. I tried calling but I guess it was too loud to hear your phone.” He said over the noise and I nodded. I looked down at my phone and saw a missed call and text message from him.

“Oh I’m sorry.” I apologized, and he brushed it off.

“No it’s cool. Like I said I just go here.” He shrugged.

“Okay we’ll let’s go get you a drink.”

We walked over to all of the alcohol and I picked up a cup for him. Cass was still in this area and she came by to tell Nano hi.

“What’re you drinking?” I asked him.

“Hmmm I’ll take whatever you were drinking.” He shrugged.

“Rum and Coke?” I asked, and he nodded. I made the drink for him and handed it to him.

“So, are these all of your friends?” He asked and I chuckled.

“Definitely not, I know some of them from high school, but the rest...” I stopped to look at the random girls and guys around our apartment. “Are Alex’s.”

“He’s very popular.” He observed, and I nodded. Alex was always well liked. His personality always drawled people in.

“Hey, is it alright if we play beer pong in the living room?” Vinny yelled out.

“Yes.” Cass told him. Thank goodness we had wooden floors. They bought in an official beer pong table through the front door and I rolled my eyes. These guys were professional partiers.

“Nemo!! You made it!” Alex exclaimed walking over to Nano and me. I reached out and pinched his arm causing him to cry out in pain. I wasn’t letting go until he said his name correctly.

“What is his name, Alex?” I asked in a calm voice.

“Ow fuck! I forgot!” He continued to cry in pain.

“Jack, it’s okay. He was really close.” Nano said and pulled my hand from Alex’s arm.

“I just reminded him this morning.” I knew Alex was saying his name wrong on purpose.

“It’s okay, Jack knows pain is the only way I can get off any more. He was trying to do me a favor.” Alex joked, and I thought twice about punching him the stomach.

“It’s Nano.” Nano laughed.

“Ahh that’s right, I-“

“-Alex come do a body shot off me!” One of the many girls in the kitchen called him over.

“I gotta go take care of that.” Alex said and left to do it. I felt a feeling in my stomach that I couldn’t explain. I was going to take it as my body telling me to drink more.

“Cass let’s do shots.” I told her.

“Now you’re talking my language.” She got up from where she was sitting and found some plastic shot glasses.

“What’ll have, Nano?” She asked.

“I’m gonna finish this first before I take shots.” He said holding up the rum and coke I just poured for him.

“Alright. Jack? Fireball?” She asked holding up the bottle.

“Ooo mind if we get in too!” These two girls and a guy asked. The girls looked like models, the guy was not bad looking either.

“The more the merrier.” Cass gave then shot glasses too. She poured some into everyone’s shot glasses and we held them up.

“What’re we toasting to?” I asked.

“How about to Alex and this kick-ass party he threw!!” The blonde girl exclaimed and her other friends agreed, but Cass and I disagreed.

“I am not doing a toast in Alex’s honor.” Cass said and I laughed.

“Neither am I.”

“Why not?” The guy asked.

“He’s Jack’s ex.” Cass told them while pointing to me and I rolled my eyes.

“Oh my gosh I’m so sorry! So you miss him?” The brunette asked and I frowned.

“Hell no!” I exclaimed, and they laughed. “Let’s just toast to new friendships.” I said and we all raised our glasses again and this time took the shot.

Once we were finished we all introduced ourselves. The blonde’s name was Amber, the brunette was Tiana, and the guy was Brian. They had met Alex at another party and became “best” friends with him.

“Soo why’d you two break up?” Amber asked.

“So he could join his band.” I answered. I could tell I was kind of tipsy because usually I hated talking about my personal life with people I didn’t know well.

“Awww so it’s not like it was a fight or anything, you still must have feelings for him.” She said.

“That’s what I said.” Cass said and I rolled my eyes.

“I don’t and he doesn’t either. We’re just friends, not even friends more like acquaintances.” I chuckled.

“Alright I’ll go next.” We could hear Alex say. We looked over to where he was with another group of people and he was taking his shirt off. His stomach looked really toned. Come to think about it, most of Alex’s body looked really toned like he had been working out. “Who wants to take a shot off of me?” Alex asked.

Before I could scoff I felt Tiana holding up my hand. “Right here, Jack does!!” She exclaimed and I pulled my hand down.

“No I don’t!”

“Jack! Why didn’t you say so? Come on down.” Alex jumped up on our island in kitchen and laid down on his back. I didn’t even know how to do a body shot.

“Cass help me.” I cried as they pulled me over to Alex. I looked up to see her laughing at me. She was a fucking traitor. Luckily Nano didn’t look too bothered.

“I don’t even know how to do this.” I complained once I was on Alex’s side.

“Okay start off by licking Alex’s neck or stomach.” Amber told me.

“Fuck no.”

“You've licked there and other places many times before.” Alex teased and my urge to punch him in the stomach increased.

“Just lick his stomach.” Amber urged.

I sighed and let the alcohol take over. I bent down trying to ignore the smile on Alex’s dumb face. I Went over to his stomach that didn’t have hair and licked along it. This gave me flash backs to when I would lick down his stomach as I was about to...never mind I shouldn’t be thinking about that now.

“I missed that feeling.” Alex joked.

“What’s next.” I grumbled. I watched as Tiana poured salt on Alex’s stomach where I just licked him.

“Okay here’s your shot of tequila. You’re gonna take the shot. Lick the spot where Tiana put the salt on his stomach and then grab this lime slice outta Alex’s mouth with your mouth.” Amber explained.

“This seems really sexual.” I complained.

“That’s the point. Now here.” She handed me the shot. There was no way I could get myself out of this now. They placed the lime slice in Alex’s mouth. The quicker I did this the quicker I could get away from these lunatics.

“Alright.” I took a deep breath and forced back the shot of tequila. I grimaced because I hated tequila then I bent over to lick the salt on Alex’s stomach. I pulled up and went for the lime in his mouth. I tried to get it without our lips touching but it wasn’t possible. I ignored it for now and bit into the lime to get rid of that awful tequila taste. I heard cheers and claps once I finished and I threw the lime away.

“How was it?” Cass laughed, and I glared at her. She was drunk, so I was going to give her a pass.

“Who’s next?” They asked as Alex sat up. I looked over to catch him wink at me and I scoffed.

“How about you go next Jack?” Alex asked.

“What? No!”

“Come on! It’ll be fun.” Amber told me.

“Nemo come take a shot off of Jack.” Alex said to Nano.

“I don’t know. He seems pretty uncomfortable.” Nano said.

“That’s because I am.” I told him. I wouldn’t care if it was Nano doing it.

“You don’t even have to take your shirt off. He can just do you neck.” Alex told me as he lifted me and forced me sit on the island.

“I don’t want him mad at me.” Nano laughed.

“Jack’s like a Chihuahua, all bark and not bite.” Alex chuckled. “Here I’ll show you.”

“Fuck you, Alex.”

“Lay back.” He demanded and lightly pushed me back. I laid on my back with a scowl on my face. Alex bent over and licked the exposed part of my neck and I shivered. I felt salt being poured on my neck and Tiana placed a lime in my mouth. I watched as Amber handed Alex his shot. He took his shot and bent down to my neck licking multiple times to get all of the salt off. It began to tickle, and I tried to fight the giggle escaping from my lips with this lime in my mouth. Alex lifted up and came to my mouth next. He bent down and brought his mouth to mine, grabbing the lime and biting my lip in the process. I’m not sure if it was on purpose or not but I couldn’t stop the jolt of electricity that went through my body when he did it.

“That wasn’t so bad right?” He asked as he pulled the lime out of his mouth.

“No.” I answered, surprising myself and he smiled.

Alex helped me off of the island and I went back over to Cass and Nano. Cass handed me a shot of fireball and I needed one after all of that. I hoped Nano wasn’t mad. I mean we’re weren’t officially dating yet, but he did still like me.

“Sorry about that.” I apologized to him.

“It’s cool, it was just for fun.” He chucked, and I nodded. If Alex and I were together and I did a body shoot off of someone and vice-versa, he would have hit the guy, yelled at me and I would have yelled back at him and then we would’ve had angry make up sex in the bathroom minutes later. Why wasn’t Nano passionate like that?

“Hey Cass, you’re up next!” Alex told her, and she happily went over to the island. Nano and I walked over with her to watch.

“Why not? My date didn’t show up.” Cass said. Alex chuckled and helped her on to the island. “So who’s my lucky guy?” She asked.

“Hey Ri! Come do a body shot.” Alex said and I hit his arm.

“Alex no!” Cass whispered yelled to him. Rian was in the living room, so he couldn’t hear her anyways. I don’t even think he knew Alex was making him do it off of Cass.

“Alright I’m coming.” Rian said and Alex laughed which made me laugh.

“Why are you laughing?” Cass scolded me.

“No, you have no right to be mad at me. You were literally dying when I had to do one off of Alex.” I reminded her and she pouted.

“I’m going to cut you up and feed you to your parents.” She threatened Alex, as he held her arms down making sure she couldn’t get up.

“I pair well with red wine.” He joked. “There you are buddy. So you’re going to do a shot off of our good friend Cassadee here.” Alex told him and Rian glared at him.

“With Dallas here?” Rian quietly scolded him so his girlfriend wouldn’t hear him.

“Dallas knows this is just for fun, right Dally?” Alex asked and she nodded from where she was with her friends.

“Go ahead Rian, I don’t care.” She told him. She probably had no idea that Rian and Cass had history together. But Alex and Rian like to torture each other with stuff like this so I wasn’t surprised Alex was making him do this.

“Alright fine. Um hi Cass.” Rian said, trying to be nice.

“Go burn in Hell.” She spat at him.

“I guess I deserved that. Um I’m just going to lick your shoulder, so we can get this over with.” He told her.

“Hey you guys didn’t tell me shoulders were an option.” I said.

“Whoops.” Alex laughed, and I glared at him.

Rian went down and licked Cass’s shoulder. Then Alex poured salt on it for him. Amber handed him a shot and Tiana placed a lime in Cass’s mouth. Rian quickly took the shot, licked her shoulder and grabbed the lime between her lips. They lingered for a second and I was afraid that they were about to start making out but Rian soon pulled away with the lime. He and Cass stared at each other before Alex helped her off of the island.

“I think I had too much to drink.” Cass said and ran off to the bathroom. I sighed and went off after her with Nano behind me. Cass, thankfully, made it to the toilet and threw up in it. I got on my knees to hold her hair while she continued to get everything up.

“Can you go get a cup of water?” I asked Nano and he nodded.

“I’m never drinking ever again.” Cass groaned when she finished.

“You said that last time, but here I am holding your hair again.” I chuckled, and she groaned even more.

“This is all Alex’s fault.”

“It’s always his fault.” I agreed. “Him and his stupid liver made of stone.”

“Here you go.” Nano said and handed Cass the cup of ice water. “And Alex um told me to tell you that he’ll come rub your stomach if you need him to.” He told her and I chuckled.

“I don’t want him coming anywhere near me.” She pouted. “I just want to go to bed.”

“Me too. What time is it?” I asked.

“Um two am.” Nano said, looking down at his watch.

“Yeah I’m going to go tell Alex to shut it down.” I got up and left them to go find Alex. I found him on the balcony smoking with some other people doing the same thing.

“Is this where the cool kids hang out?” I sarcastically asked when I walked up to him. He blew his smoke the opposite direction of me.

“Not anymore now that you’re out here.” He joked.

“Ha ha funny. Now come shut this party down.”

“What’s wrong? You’re not having fun?”

“We’ve had too much fun. It’s two am, time to go to bed.”

“You used to stay up longer than this. You’re getting soft like you boyfriend.”

“He’s not my boyfriend and he’s not ‘soft.’”

“He wouldn’t even take a body shot off of you.” He chuckled.

“Yeah ‘cause he could sense that I was uncomfortable, unlike you.”

“No I could sense it, I just didn’t care.” He said and I huffed. “You know, I almost forgot how soft your tongue was.” He continued, and I glared at him. He was drunk too which just soooo was great.

“Make all of these people leave before I kick you out.” I threatened.

“Alright alright give me fifteen minutes.” He said. I didn’t know if I could trust him, but I nodded and went back inside anyways.

Cass and Nano were now in her room and she was lying in her bed. She had a trash can next to her bed just in case she got sick again.

“Alex said give him fifteen minutes and everyone will be out.” I told her, and she nodded.

Soon we heard the music cut off and someone talking. I could hear it was Alex and he was mentioning a Lyft code that everyone could use for a discount. Minutes later we could hear some people began being shuffling out of the door. Fifteen minutes later Alex came into Cass’s room to get us.

“Party’s over, everyone left.” He told us.

“Wow that was quick. Thanks.” I said.

“Mhmm. You staying over Nemo?” Alex said to Nano and I rolled my eyes at him. I told Nano he was doing it on purpose.

“No I'm going to head out too.” He said ignoring it.

“Dude I’ve called you Nemo the entire night and you haven’t done shit about it.” Alex frowned.

“I can’t do anything about it.” Nano shrugged.

“At least correct me or threatened me. Don’t just not do anything.”

“Alex, he isn’t bothered by unimportant things like that, unlike you.” I told him.

“Bullshit. Correct me. Say ‘it’s Nano, Bitch.’ Say it.” Alex said and I sighed.

“No really it’s okay, man.”

“I’m not letting you leave until you say it.” He crosses his arms and blocked the door. Alex was very annoying when he is drunk actually when he is sober too. Nano looked to me and I nodded so he could say it and leave.

“Okay, um my name is Nano...Bitch.” He repeated and Cass and I chucked.

“See it wasn’t that hard, but if you ever call me a ‘bitch’ again I will break your arm.” He threatened, and I rolled my eyes at him.

“Come on Nano.” I grabbed his hand and pushed past Alex so he would leave. “Do you need a Lyft?” I asked him.

“No, I didn’t even finish that rum and coke you poured for me when I got here.”

“Okay well I’ll walk you out.” I grabbed his hand and we walked him to the door.

“Good night Nano.” Alex told him.

“Night Alex.” He waved, and we walked out.

We walked to the parking garage and stopped at his car. I was happy Nano got to come out tonight. He wasn’t really the partying type, but he still came for me.

“Thanks for coming tonight.” I said.

“Anything for you. Just call me if you want to hang out later on this week. Or if you need a break from um Alex.” He said and I chucked.

“I definitely will.”

He reached down to hug me and when we pulled away I grabbed his face and pulled his lips to mine. I probably smelled like a bar from all the drinks I had tonight. He put his hands on my hips and leaned me against his car as we made out. We pulled apart a few minutes later and I moved to let Nano in his car.

“Goodnight Jack.”

“Night, Nano.” I said and went back inside. I went to my apartment and saw Alex was on the balcony smoking again. I could’ve went in my room to go to bed, but instead I went out to join him.

“What’d you want?” Alex asked when he saw me come out.

“I just wanted to come and tell you thanks for putting tonight together. I had a lot of fun.” I said honestly. “Well besides taking shots off your body and vice-versa.”

“That seemed like the highlight of your night, but you’re welcome. Now go to bed. It’s late, remember?”

“Don’t tell me what to do. Now I might stay up even later.” I joked.

“Well then stay up as late as you want.”

“Now I might go to sleep.” I chuckled.

“You’re so annoying. I don’t see how that French fry is going to put up with you.” He was talking about Nano.

“Stop calling him names.”

“I can’t help it. He makes it so easy.”

“If I didn’t know any better I would think you were jealous.” I accused.

“Jealous of that walking marshmallow? Yeah right.” He said and took a long drag of his cigarette. “What exactly would I be jealous of?”

“The fact that he’s with me.” I shrugged.

“Thought you two weren’t dating.”

“Well almost dating, but you get what I mean.”

“Look if I wanted to be with you then I would.” He said causally.

“What does that mean?” I asked.

“Exactly what I said.”

“So, you don’t want to be with me?”

“Do you want me want to be with you?” He asked.

“No.” I stated.

“Then no.” He said, making my head hurt.

“Whatever Alex.” I said annoyed and began to walk back in.

“How could you possibly be mad at me?” He stopped me before I could go in.

“Because you can’t ever just tell me what you want. You’re always making things complicated.” I drunkenly complained. I should have know better than to try to have a conversation with him while drunk. I always let buried emotions come out.

“I know that I did want you but you couldn’t get over the fact that I wanted to be in the band too, so you choose not to be with me. This..” He gestured between the two of us. “This isn’t my fault.”

“No this is your fault, you chose the band over your own daughter and me!” I yelled feeling my eyes start to burn. I don’t even remember what started this conversation.

“I chose both, you cut yourself out of my life the second you broke up with me.”

“That’s bullshit Alex, and you know it!”

“We could have still been together while I toured look how I’m back right now. I told you I wouldn’t be gone but for weeks to months at a time but that wasn’t good enough for you.”

“No I knew you would be cheating on me. I knew you would be fucking other people while on tour like you are now.”

“News-fucking-flash, we’re not in a relationship so I can fuck whoever I want whenever I want. I would have stayed faith to you and you know it.”

“Fuck you, Alex.” I said and opened the door.

“Yeah run away like you always do.” He said and I slammed the door closed.

“Fucking Asshole.” I said to myself and wiped the tears rolling down my face. I went into my room and closed my door. Then I angrily got out of my clothes and laid down in my bed. If it wasn’t for the alcohol I probably wouldn’t have gotten any sleep.

Notes

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