I Have to Let You Down

Jack

I rubbed my eyes as I sat on my bed and re-read the text message Alex just sent me. I had to pull my glasses off to make sure I was reading the message correctly.

Alexandria’s Sperm Donor

Hey our tour wraps up in 2 days, im gonna come crash on your couch for 2 weeks.

Read 3:18pm

I didn’t even know where to begin with replying back to him so I didn’t. I sat my phone down and laid back down next to Alexa, who was taking a nap. I couldn’t even calm myself enough to close my eyes and try to nap with my almost three-year-old. I can’t believe Alex really had the nerve to type that message and send it to me. Especially after all the arguing we did last time he was on a break from tour??

I angrily chuckled to myself and got up to find my roommate. I had to tell her about it before I drove myself insane thinking about it. I walked out of my room and cracked the door so Alexa wouldn’t wake up while we talked.

I went to the living room to find my roommate, Cassadee. Cass and I had been living together even since I moved out of my parent’s house a year ago. Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents and we don’t have a horrible relationship, but I was sick of being nagged in how easier my life would have been if I didn’t get pregnant so soon after high school. I know it was true, but I was sick of hearing it. Also, I wanted to keep my promise to Alexa that we would soon have our own place, given I had a roommate, but Cass wasn’t bad. She was sweet and so helpful with Alexa. We really have become best friends, I’ve known here since high school but moving in together has only made our friendship stronger.

“Cass?” I called out to find her.

“In here!” It sounded like she was in the kitchen. I walked out of my hall and into the kitchen to find her in the panty. “What’s up?” She asked.

“You won’t believe the bullshit Alex just texted me.” I said, and she chuckled and reached for my phone. I handed it over so she could read it. In the middle of her reading it, my phone went off a second time signaling I had another new message.

“Please tell me it’s not him.” I groaned.

“I really wish I could.” She huffed and handed me back my phone.

Alexandria’s Sperm Donor

Hello?? I can see you read the message

Read 3:25pm

“Help me reply back to him. I want to be so disrespectful.” I chuckled and she agreed that I should.

“Well definitely start off with the fact that he didn’t ask if he could, he fucking told you that he was. And he’s only telling you two days before.” She began and I nodded and began typing.

“Also his parents stay right down the street so he won’t be far from Alexa.” I told her.

“And top it off with calling him an asshole.” She teased.
Jack B.

First of all was that your way of asking if you could come crash on my couch? Second of all it doesn’t matter cause the answer is a no. And third of all you’re an asshole so it’s a definite no.

Delivered 3:29pm

I showed Cass the message I sent Alex and she laughed.

“I wonder why he even thought the answer would be yes.” She giggled.

“I don’t know, but I’m not going to stress out over it anymore. What are we having for dinner?” I asked to switch topics.

“I was thinking chicken parmesan, but I figured Alexa would want macaroni and cheese so I was going to make that for her.”

“That’s all she eats is macaroni, I’m not sure how to break her of that habit.”

“It’s better than McDonald’s every night.” She shrugged.

“Is it though?” I chuckled. I didn’t want Alexa eating McDonald’s because I didn’t want her to become like those kids that didn’t want to eat anything else or threw tantrums when they didn’t get McDonald’s. But so far, she was kind of doing the same thing just with macaroni and cheese.

My phone dinged, and I bit my lip already knowing Alex was going to be a smart ass and piss me off.
Alexandria’s Sperm Donor

Quit bitchin. I pay part of the rent so I should be able to stay there for a little while.

Read 3:33pm

“He is really un-fucking believable.” I scoffed.

“What does it say?” Cass asked and I turned my phone to her. “What the hell does that mean?” She laughed.

“I don’t know.” I mumbled, already starting to type a message back to him.

Jack B.

No you don’t??

Delivered 3:34pm

Alexandria’s Sperm Donor

I’m pretty sure you’re using part of the money I give for Alexa each month to pay for rent so in a way I’m paying for it :p

Read 3:35pm

I rolled my eyes because I did use part of the money he sent to pay rent, but that didn’t give him the right stay over.

Jack B.

Why can’t you stay with you parents Alex??

Delivered 3:35pm

Alexandria’s Sperm Donor

Because every time I stay with them they always complain about me staying out too late or drinking too much. You know how they get, and I don’t feel like being bitched at this time on break.

Read 3:36pm

Alexandria’s Sperm Donor

Come on just let me crash on the couch for the week. I’ll be able to spend more time with Alexa and you know how much she loves when I spend the night.

Read 3:36pm

Alex spent the night one time before, and Alexa did enjoy having both of us together. Alex and I did nothing but argue around each other, but I think I had to suck it up for Alexa’s sake. I sighed and looked over to Cass.

“What?” She asked.

“Would you care if he crashed on the couch?” I asked and she groaned.

“Nooo why did you change your mind??” She whined.

“Because Alexa was happy last time she was able to spend time with Alex and I together. And as much of an asshole he is, I’m kinda empathizing with him on the whole not wanting to stay with his parent’s thing.” I explained and she glared at me.

“Fine he can stay, but there are rules.” She caved in and I nodded.

“Should I call him so you can tell him the rules?” I asked and she nodded. I went to Alex’s phone number and pressed the call button. He answered after the second ring.

“You didn’t have to call to tell me yes, you could have just texted.” He said, and I could hear his smile through the phone.

“Alex, please don’t make me change my mind. And I’m calling so Cass can give you the rules you have to follow while you’re staying here.” I told him.

“Yeah yeah no masturbating on the couch.” He chuckled.

“I didn’t think I would have to tell you that, but yes let’s actually make that rule number one.” Cass told him. “Also you’re not allowed to have company unless you ask us first if it’s okay-“

“-Is this about Rian? ‘Cause I have to say, it’s not my fault you let him fuck you without buying you dinner first.” He said and we both gasped.

“You’re a fucking asshole.” Cass hissed and press the end call button. “I can’t believe him.”

I bought my hands to my mouth to stop myself from laughing. Cass playfully glared at me as she noticed I was dying of laughter.

“Why are you laughing??” She questioned.

“Because you definitely made up that rule to make sure he didn’t bring Rian over.” I chuckled.

“Yeah because he’s more of a dick than Alex.” She laughed.

Rian was Alex’s close friend and the drummer in their band. He and Cass met for the first time a few months ago when Alex brought him over when he came to see Alexa. He and Cass hit it off pretty well, but they did end up having a one night stand and Rian kind of just stop talking to Cass once they went back to touring so of course she hates him.

Alex began calling me back minutes later. I wasn’t going to answer if Cass didn’t want me too, but she said she didn’t care.

“Are you ready to shut up and listen?” I asked Alex as soon as I answered.

“Yes, I’m listening.” I groaned.

“First apologize to Cass.” I said.

“Ugh fine I’m sorry.” He rushed.

“Whatever, Jerk.” Cass told him and he chuckled. “Anyways, no company unless you run it by us first. No smoking in the apartment, the balcony is fine. Clean up after yourself, don’t leave shit all over the place. No loud music. Also don’t lock the deadlock unless you know we’re all in for the night. Anything else you want to add?” She asked me.

“I can’t stress the ‘clean up after yourself’ rule enough. This apartment is never a mess so make sure you throw your junk away.” I reiterated. Alex was such a pig and I knew that rule was going to go right over his head.

“Do you think you can follow those rules for two weeks?” Cass asked.

“Yep! Sounds pretty doable.” He said in a way that made it sound like he wasn’t really listening. “I’ll be there on Friday, some time in the afternoon.”

“Okay.” I told him.

“Alright I gotta go. Give Alexa a big kiss on the forehead for me and tell her I’ll be there in two days.” He said.

“Okay, bye.” I said and we hung up.

Cass took a deep breath and went back to digging around in the pantry. “I don’t see how you put up with him for as long as you did.” She chucked.

“Me either.” I joked. I liked Alex’s sense of humor. He always knew how to make me laugh or feel better on bad days. The downside to that is that he also knew how to get under my skin and get me angrier than anyone ever has. Luckily for now we could make this whole co-parenting thing work.

“Dada.” I heard, Alexa call from behind me. I turned around to see her walking into the kitchen while rubbing her eyes.

“Hey Bunny, did you just wake up?” I walked over to pick her up as she nodded.

“Do you have to go potty?” I asked and she shook her head. I knew better than to listen to her. “How about we go try just in case.” I insisted and Cass chuckled.

I carried Alexa back into my bathroom and made her go so we wouldn’t have an accident later on because she ‘couldn’t make it.’ Once we were finished she grabbed her Unicorn Pillow Pet Alex bought her and we went into the living room where Cass was now sitting.

“I talked to your Daddy today.” I told her.

“Really?!” She asked excitedly, and I nodded.

“Mhmm he wanted me to give you a big kiss and tell you that he’ll be here to see you really soon.” I said and kissed her on the forehead as she cheered. “So he’ll be here to spend two weeks with you.”

“Yaaaay!” She exclaimed and seeing how happy she was made having to live with Alex for two weeks’ worth it...for now.

“Do you think we can trust him here alone while we’re at work?” Cass asked and I laughed.

“Yeah ‘cause he’ll be here with Alexa, but maybe we should make him put down a down deposit just in case.” I joked.

“Um when Daddy comes we go swim?” Alexa asked me.

“Yeah we can go to the pool together, Bunny.” I told her and kissed her on the check.

“Corn too!” She exclaimed, holding up her unicorn named Corn, so I could kiss it on the cheek too. I gave her a smile and kissed her stuffed animal on the cheek.

“You’re so cute.” Cass chuckled and tickled Alexa’s stomach. “So, what’re you going to Nano?” Cass asked and I looked over to her.

“About what?”

“About Alex. Are you going to tell him about him staying over for two weeks?”

“Nano and I are just friends so it isn’t a big deal if I tell him or not.” I shrugged, and she gave me a knowing look. Nano was a friend of mine I met a couple of months ago. We met at a club and became instant friends. I could tell he had a small crush on me, but I figured if I ignored it then he would soon fine someone else to like and we could stay friends.

“Yeah of course, because that kiss you two shared at Sam’s party last week was definitely friendly.” She said sarcastically and I looked down to see if Alexa was listening to us. Thankfully she was watching TV and not us.

“Oh whatever! We were both drunk and it was only a kiss. Nothing too serious.” I brushed it off. Nano is cute, but he isn’t my type.

“Nano looks good, I don’t know why you don’t like him.”

“I know he’s good looking and he’s a great guy, but he’s too...boring. I mean we have great conversations and stuff but he’s always trying to be a gentleman and be super nice all the time and I don’t like that. I want a guy to argue with me sometimes or tell me when I’m acting like spoiled brat and put me in my place and Nano won’t do that. He always caves in to what I want or what I want to do.”

“Wow Alex has you hypnotized into thinking that’s how guys are supposed to treat you.” She chuckled and I rolled my eyes.

“No, it’s not about Alex at all, that’s just the type of personality I want a guy to have when dating me.”

“But Nano might be being nice to get you to go on a date with him. Who knows, maybe once you start dating he’ll change. But hopefully he won’t. You need a guy like Nano, you deserve a guy like Nano. He’s great with Alexa and he treats you well.”

“If you like him so much then why don’t you date him?” I teased.

“I would...if he dated girls.” She chuckled and I laughed.

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt to see if we could be a good couple.”

“Good! Maybe then he’ll help you lose that crush you have on Alex.”

“What crush?? I don’t have a crush on Alex!!” I said defensively.

“Yeah you do, you’re still attracted to him and he has you wrapped around his fingers just like that.” She snapped for dramatic effect.

“What are you talking about? I’ll admit I still thinks he looks good, but he does not have me wrapped around his fingers.”

“Oh please, if he didn’t you wouldn’t have caved in and let him stay here. You would have put your foot down and made him stay with his parents.”

“I did that for Alexa.” I reminded her.

“Oh sure.” She playfully rolled her eyes.

“I do not still have a crush on Alex. He left us and I’m still not over it.” I pouted.

No matter my feelings towards Alex, at the end of the day he still left Alexa and I when I begged him not to. He has no real responsibilities. All he does is drink all night every night, fuck random guys and girls, and play with his band. He does all of the things I told him he would do if he left to tour with them. I was doubtful at first when we broke up and he left to start touring, but now I know it was for the best. Because like I predicted, my heart and our family would have been broken if we tried to make it work the way he wanted.

Notes