Thrive

carlett is now a month old and looking cute as ever; the photo I took of her and posted on social media was a huge hit. She was giggling and looking at the camera which Alex just loved along with the caption which started with me tagging him.

Can’t believe our pumpkin is a month old already! We love you so much, Scarlett!

Valentine’s Day has also just passed and even if Alex was here, sex wouldn’t have been an option for us to celebrate it. The whole having to wait at least six weeks till we can have sex is a real letdown. Luckily, just a couple days after he gets home, that’ll be an option. I FaceTimed him as I was making a midmorning snack. I propped my phone, so he could see Scarlett.

“Hey babe.” he answered.

“Hey.” I said with a lot a pep in my step.

“Someone’s in a good mood.”

“A great one.”

“You have any plans today?”

“Well, I’m gonna call my mom. She wasn’t feeling too good yesterday.”

“Weren’t you going to go dress shopping with her?”

“Yeah. Supposed to be today. Maybe within a week if she still feels like crap. Can you believe it? I know it’s gonna sound cheesy and probably ridiculous, but she’s finally getting her happily ever after.”

“Abby, it’s sweet. Things for her have been tough just like you and she deserves it. You have yours and she’s receiving hers.”

I smiled even more and also blushed a bit.

“You’re too much. It makes me miss that you weren’t here for Valentine’s Day although we wouldn’t have been able to properly celebrate if you know what I mean.”

“I do and we can't when we get back either. It's gonna be a couple days."

"Yeah. I'm gonna have difficulty not jumping your bones."

He laughed.

“We’ll make do. We’ve been through worse.”

I laughed too.

“That’s true. Wanna make plans now for when we can?”

“Absolutely, if you want to.”

“Who’s gonna babysit Scarlett? My mom and stepdad? That’s just gonna seem awkward knowing what our night’s gonna be like.”

“I’m sure they’ll already know what are plans will be and what better people to take care of her? There is Miranda, but she has her hands full with Luca.”

I sighed.

“Let’s talk more about this later.”

“Ok, babe.”

We had plenty of time for this conversation. He’d be back in a week and just two days later, we can have a baby free evening. We spoke for ten more minutes before I hung up and called my mom.

“Hey honey.” she answered with a cough.

"Hey. I was gonna ask how you were, but you don't sound too great."

"I'm still feeling as crappy as I was yesterday. I don’t have it in me to go dress shopping or anything to be quite honest.” she sighed.

“Well, I do hope you’ll get started sooner rather than later because I know how much you want to feel like a princess.”

“I hope so, too because I’ve never felt this loved by someone I was in love with. I feel so damn special, Abigail.”

“That’s because you are, Mom.”

“Thank you, sweetie. That means a lot.”

“You do deserve the best. Don’t forget that.”

“Do you think I’ll ever get married? My mom never had time to even date and I was known as the poor girl. I’m amazed sometimes that I’ve ever had a boyfriend. I can...”

I was starting to tear up as I was talking to my best friend, Miranda after I lost my job because of a petty argument that a customer started. I had lived in California since I moved here four years ago and I hadn’t found that someone who cares for me more than anything. I’ve gone on a number of dates, had only one boyfriend which was in the beginning when I lived with my best friend for a brief amount of time when I first moved here until I found a place of my own. I’ve only had a handful of dates since then; any guy who’s ever made it to my apartment and seen it pretty much bolted and maybe not in a bad way, but I’d just never hear from that person again. Not to mention, it’s not like I could ever afford to pay for many dates or get time off work.

“Abby. Of course you will. Don’t say something like that. You’ll get out of this rut and get your dream job and find that person who will steal your heart. Also, it’s not like you’re old or anything, honey; you’re twenty-five for goodness sake.”

I appreciate her optimism, but she isn’t me and never has been and with the way things have been going, is my life ever going to change? That may make me sound like a pessimist, but at this point, it’s hard not to think this way.

“Sure. Sure I will.”

I wouldn’t look at Miranda in fear that she would see tears cascade down my face.

“Look at me.”

I looked up at her with bloodshot eyes; she bombarded me with a hug.

“Are you sure anyone will ever love me?” I said suddenly.

I grew up with a loving mother and I have amazing friends, but the relationship with my mom is strained now and what I want is someone to come home to every night. I want someone who will be there to hear all about my day, whether it was a great one or bad one and love me for all my faults.

“What kind of question is that? I am absolutely sure.”

She had no idea how certain she was because less than two weeks later, an atypical trip to the supermarket would change my life forever.

I spent the day instead doing shopping of my own with my best girl aka Scarlett. I was thinking about going out with my friends, but I felt the need to be out with only my daughter.

Notes

Definitely not one of my favorite chapters, but not all chapters are gonna be the same. Also, can't forget that it's Alex's birthday! Happy Birthday, Alex!