Everything is fine
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Alex’s POV
“What the fucking hell do you think you was playing at!?” Dad shouted at me which made me flinch thanks to my hangover from last night.
“I just got drunk, didn’t take any pills.” I said as I made myself a coffee.
“Got drunk? So you think coming home at 4 in the morning fucked out of your face isn’t getting drunk, that was over the top Alexander especially since it was a school night!” Dad said loudly.
“What can I say YOLO.” I said as I shrugged my shoulders.
“This is not fucking YOLO or whatever the fuck you just said, this is you being a immature child who should of learnt what fucking happened last time.” Dad said seriously and I looked at him.
“It’s my body at the end of the day, it’s fucked up now anyway so I might as well carry on until one day my body packs up and then I will forever be out of your hair.” I said as I walked past dad and he caught hold of my arm.
“It might be your body and you might of fucked it up with all those drugs you put into your body but if anything was to happen to you then your mother, Eddie and me will be heart broken.” Dad said seriously.
“You are still my son Alex, why can’t you see that what me and your mother are doing is trying to help you. We care a awful lot about you.” Dad said and I sighed and looked down.
“Lex what’s happening at the moment.” Dad said softly and I looked at him as dad rarely calls me Lex.
“I don’t know dad.” I whispered and dad smiled at me and pulled me into hug which I returned.
“You know your mother and me are always here if you need to talk to someone. You don’t have to shut yourself away like you did last time.” Dad said quietly as he held me closer to him.
I just stayed quiet and let me and dad hug out this argument.
“Do you want to watch a film or do you want some time to yourself?” Dad asked and I pulled back and stood back a little.
“A film sounds nice.” I said quietly and dad smiled.
“Want some breakfast?” Dad asked and I shook my head.
“If I eat anything it’ll come back up but that’s not me making myself sick.” I said and dad smiled and he let me go to the sitting room.
I must off fell asleep as when I woke up mum was home with Eddie.
“I’ve talked to him about it, I even asked him what was going on and he said that he didn’t know. Something is up Izzy but he’s just shut us out like he did before and then looked what happened.” Dad said from the kitchen and I looked and saw Eddie watching some film.
“They’ve been talking about you since we’ve gotten home.” Eddie said and I sighed loudly as I sat up.
“What have they been saying about me then?” I asked and groaned as the room span a little.
“That your back on drugs again. That your going down the same path as what you did in England.” Eddie said as he looked down.
“I’m not back on drugs, I’ve been sober from drugs for 5 months now don’t want to throw it all away.” I said and Eddie looked at me.
“But that’s not true though Lex. What about that joint you had when we first came here and that coke you had in your room which mum flushed down the toilet. You’re not sober anymore.” Eddie said and I sighed and stood up.
“I’m not having this conversation with you Eddie.” I said seriously.
“I’ll tell mum.” Eddie said and I glared at him.
“You fucking tell her and you are in so much shit with me.” I growled which I knew I shouldn’t of done but I was pissed off.
“Tell me what Alexander.” Mum said seriously.
“Well I might as well say it, I smoked a joint while we was looking around the school and that party I went to on Friday, I took fuck loads of pills and probably a few lines of coke who knows because I was fucked out of my face and then last night I popped some pills. So yeah I’m no longer sober mum.” I said and I walked off but mum grabbed my arm.
“You fucking did what?” Mum growled.
“I have relapsed, so are you going to throw me out or what.” I said and mum just slapped me round the face.
“How could you be so fucking stupid! After everything we have done to try and help you and you throw it all back into our faces again!” Mum screamed and I looked at her as I nursed my face.
“Get out of this house.” Mum said quietly and I turned round and walked out the house.
I managed to get some heroine and I was sat at this park debating whether to do it or not when someone walked over and sat with me.
“Knew you was into the hard stuff.” The person said.
“I don’t need a life lesson right now.” I said quietly.
“Well obviously you do since you have heroine on you.” The person said and I looked and saw Jack.
“This has nothing to do with you, just leave me alone. I’m no good to anyone.” I said quietly as a load of unwelcome thoughts came to my head.
“I’m not going to leave you here, not with that in your hand.” Jack said and I got up and dropped the heroine on the floor and I walked off.
“Alex where you going?” Jack called after me.
“To jump of a building.” I muttered to myself.
“Alex stop please.” Jack said and he stood in front of me.
“What’s going on?” Jack asked softly.
“I can’t tell you. Please just let me go.” I said quietly and Jack frowned.
“I know there’s a problem. You don’t have to tell me okay, but right now I can see you need help and let me help you.” Jack said and I shook my head.
“Give me my heroine back and leave me the fuck alone.” I said seriously and Jack sighed slightly.
“Give me the fucking drugs Jack!” I said loudly which made Jack jump as he handed me back the drugs.
“You’re better than this Alex.” Jack said.
“And your not my fucking therapist.” I snapped and walked off.
I was in a drug filled haze walking around when someone stopped me.
“Alex, Alex tell me what you have taken.” Someone said quickly.
“Fuck off.” I mumbled.
“I can’t, I’m sorry but I can’t leave you.” The person said as they linked my arm with theirs and I was being taken somewhere.
“I’ve found him.” The person said and two people came over to me.
“Alex.” A new voice said and I looked at them and I worked out it was mum and dad.
“Sweetheart what have you done?” Mum said softly as she looked me over.
“I’m fine.” I said but it probably sounded like a mess of words.
“No your not, come on let’s get you home.” Mum said and she guided me to the car and helped me in the car and I was taken home and probably put to bed with someone close by, but I don’t really know as I passed out.
When I woke up mum was sat on the bed next to me.
“Alex, sweetie are you awake?” Mum said as she looked at me.
“Leave me alone.” I said as I rolled over so my back was too mum.
“Alex please don’t shut us out.” Mum whispered.
“Just get the fuck out of my room and shut the door behind you.” I snapped and mum sighed and she stood up and walked out my room shutting the door behind her.
I sat up and rested my back against the wall.
“Shit.” I said to myself as hit the back of my head against the wall really hard.
“So fucking stupid.” I said as I stood up and started to trash my room.
“Alex, Alex stop before you hurt yourself.” I heard dad say as he restrained me.
“Let me go!” I said loudly as I started to cry.
“No I can’t do that until you’ve calmed down.” Dad said softly.
I just broke down and dad gently lowered me to the floor.
“It’s going to be okay Alex.” Dad said softly and I shook my head.
Dad stayed with me until I told him to get out and I moved from my bedroom and to the bathroom where I started the shower up and stripped myself from my clothes and stepped into the shower even though it was still cold and I slid down the wall and sat on the floor and pulled my knees up to my chest and hugged my knees and I started to cry again.
“Alex, Alex honey you okay in there?” Mum said through the door.
I didn’t respond so mum opened the door and walked in and you could see the relief on here face when she saw that I was still alive and didn’t self harm.
“Come on Sweetie, this isn’t the best place to be.” Mum said as she walked over and turned the shower off.
I wasn’t bothered with mum seeing me naked as I’ve been in worse states and she always managed to bathe me and make sure I was okay.
“Come on darling help me out a little.” Mum said softly and I looked at her.
“I’m sorry.” I said and started to cry again.
“It’s okay, everything is going to be okay now.” Mum said quietly as she got a towel and walked back over.
“I fucked up mum.” I sobbed and mum smiled sadly at me.
“No you haven’t sweetie, it’s just a blip nothing we can’t sort out okay.” Mum said and I shook my head.
“Come on let’s get out of here and get you to bed.” Mum said.
“Here’s the towel, I’ll go and get your pj bottoms and bring them in for you.” Mum said as she walked into my room and I stood up and quickly dried myself off and got out the shower as mum came in.
“There you go.” Mum said as she handed me my clothes and she turned round so I could pull them on and I turned round and cleared my throat slightly which made mum turn around and smile sadly at me.
“Take your meds Alex.” Mum said softly but seriously at the same time.
“I have none left, I took the last one the other day.” I said quietly as I looked down.
“Alex, you are meant to take you medication.” Mum sighed.
“It does nothing.” I said quietly and walked out of the bathroom and sat on my bed and lead down so my back was to everyone who comes into my room.
I heard mum walk into my room.
“Did you want anything to eat?” Mum asked.
“I’m not hungry.” I said quietly and I could hear mum frown at me.
“Alex you have to eat.” Mum said.
“I’m not fucking hungry, just leave me the fuck alone please.” I snapped and mum sighed as she walked out my room not shutting the door behind her as nobody trusts me anymore.
I love this I can’t wait to see more and more!!
7/24/18