Alex’s POV

After being stuck in hospital for a month I was now having to go to rehab and then after that I would probably have to go into inpatients.
Jack rarely left my side, the only time he left my side was if he was in the mood to go to school which would only be for the morning and if he went home for the night for some decent sleep other than that he was right beside me.

I was packing my bag when the door opened and I looked and saw Jack with mum.
“Hey babe.” Jack said happily as he walked over to me and gave me a quick kiss and a hug which I returned and I looked over at mum.
“Hey mum.” I said and mum smiled at me as she walked over and pulled me into a hug which I returned and held onto her a little longer than what I did with Jack.
I heard mum sniff as I pulled back and looked at her.
“Don’t cry, especially over me.” I said softly as I wiped a tear away which made mum smile sadly at me.
“You need to get better Lex, otherwise you’ll be dead.” Mum whispered and I looked down and sighed.
“I promise I will get better mum.” I said quietly as I pulled her into another hug and let her go and went back to packing my bag.
“Do you guys want coffee?” Mum asked and I nodded.
“Yeah please.” Me and Jack said in unison which made mum chuckle as she walked out the door shutting it behind her.
It was when she was gone I stopped packing and looked down as I sighed quietly.
“What’s the matter baby?” Jack asked as he moved and sat on the bed.
“What if I fuck up after this rehab? I don’t want to fuck up and let anyone down.” I said quietly and Jack caught hold of my hand which made me look at him.
“You are not going to fuck up alright, you can do this because this place is the best place you can possibly go to. I believe in you okay, you just got to believe in yourself.” Jack said and I smiled softly at him.
“Also, when you get out of rehab just think of the welcome home you’ll be getting.” Jack said quietly as he stood up and walked behind me and handed me a hoodie as I looked at him with a frown.
Jack smirked at me and winked, then I got what he was talking about.
“Bitch you better, my ass is starting to think it’s a virgin again.” I said and Jack laughed as he pulled me to his side and kissed the side of my head.
“When I’m done with you, your ass will not feel like a virgin.” Jack whispered in my ear which made me take a deep breath as I looked at him.
“Now is really not the time or the place.” I said and Jack chuckled as he pulled me to his side and put his hand in my back pocket.
“Well I shell quit while I’m ahead of myself then.” Jack said which made me chuckle as we finished packing my bag.

Dad and Eddie didn’t come to the rehab center with me since Eddie wasn’t coping well with me not being at home and it would just bring him more stress to come to the rehab center.
We was sat in the office waiting to be given a tour of this place and so far I couldn’t quite make my mind up about this place.
“This place is strange. It’s almost like a prison.” I said and mum looked at me.
“It’s the best place for you to be and it took a lot of work to get you into this place so don’t fuck this up for yourself Alexander.” Mum said seriously and I nodded at I looked down and messed with my hands.
“I’ll try not too.” I said quietly and I felt Jack out his hand on my knee and my hand automatically linked with his and I was making the most of being close to Jack.
Someone showed up and I looked up to see this woman looking shocked to see someone of my age in this place.
“Alexander Gaskarth.” The woman said and I stood up.
“That’s me.” I said and the woman nodded.
“Say your goodbyes and we’ll start the tour.” The woman said and I nodded and looked at mum who stood up and hugged me which I returned.
“Be good and focus on getting better.” Mum said quietly and I nodded as mum kissed my forehead and let me and Jack have some space.
Jack pulled me into a huge hug which I returned and hid my face in his chest making the most of his smell.
“Been good okay, 3 months sounds long but it’s going to be worth it okay.” Jack said as he gently pushed me back and I looked at him.
“I love you.” Jack said quietly and I smiled at him as I kissed him and hugged him again.
“I love you too.” I whispered in Jacks ear and I moved so I could looked at him.
“I’ll see you in 90 days.” Jack said as he kissed me again and walked off and I just watched him and mum leave.
I turned round and looked at the woman who smiled at me which I returned.
“Let’s show you around.” The woman said and I followed her around.

“This is your room.” The woman said as she opened the door and I walked in the room with my suitcase and put it on the bed.
“Breakfast is at 8 am and lunch will be at 12 and dinner will be at 6.” The woman said and I nodded as I looked round the room.
“I’ll leave you to settle in and then it will be lunch.” The woman said and I looked at her and frowned.
“I don’t eat lunch.” I said and the woman frowned at me.
“Well you either eat or go hungry, the choice is yours.” The woman said and walked out the room leaving me alone to unpack.
I looked round the room and I have to say it was a lot nicer than all the other rehabs I have been too wether it’ll do me any good is going to the other question.
I sighed loudly to myself as I unpacked and once I had sorted myself out I sat on my bed and felt really lost on what I had to do.

I was sat in the dining room messing with the little food I had on my plate when someone sat next to me.
“Aren’t you a little young to be in a place like this?” A person asked and I looked at them with a frown.
“Fucked up past works wonders on you.” I said quietly as I pushed the food around on my plate.
“Respect on that one.” The person said and rolled my eyes.
“You’ve got to eat son, you need some more fat in your body.” The person said and I sighed loudly as I stood up.
“Leave me alone.” I said quietly and walked out the room and went outside away for some air and to get away from everyone.
My peace didn’t last long when the woman from earlier came outside.
“You need to eat.” The woman said and I rolled my eyes.
“I’m not hungry.” I said quietly and the woman said next to me.
“I’ve read your file and I know that at the moment you are stuck not only in your drug habit but you are also in the hand of your eating disorder.” The woman said and I looked at her.
“We can try and help you with your eating but our main focus here is your drug habit.” The woman said and I looked down.
“Rehab number 4 is this?” The woman asked and I shrugged my shoulders.
“Hard to tell.” I said quietly as I picked at the grass.
“Look, I know you know how hard this can be but this is for the best for you and your family.” The woman said and I sighed.
“Save the talk, I’ve heard it all before and guess what it hasn’t worked.” I said as I stood up and went to my room again.
Since I was bored I was walking around the place trying to get my Bearings when I felt someone tap my shoulder and I turned round and looked at the person.
“It’s group therapy, everyone has to go.” The person said and I frowned at them.
“Yeah I’m not going.” I said as I looked round and saw artwork from residents new and old on the wall.
“You’ve got to go.” The person said and I sighed as I rolled my eyes and looked at the person.
“Fine I’ll drag myself along.” I said and the person smiled as they walked off and I followed them to where the group therapy was.

I was sat in group therapy and everyone was getting coffee and I just sat waiting for everyone to take their seats.
“I’m sure everyone has met our newest member.” The therapist said and I felt everyone look at me.
Compared too all the other rehabs I’ve been too this place was tiny with only 8 people staying at a time.
“Why don’t you introduce yourself to everyone.” The therapist said and I sighed.
“I’m Alex and this is probably my 4th visit to rehab.” I said as I sat back in my seat as I gently bounced my leg up and down as everyone said hello.
“How do you feel about being in rehab?” The therapist said and I shrugged my shoulders.
“Dunno, scared about being here I guess.” I said as I crossed my legs on the chair.
“You’re still a kid.” Someone said and I looked up and towards the person said.
“We don’t discuss age or what our drug of choices are.” The therapist said.
“Just because I am still a kid doesn’t mean I haven’t had shit happen to me.” I said as I stood up and walked out the the room.

I was sat in a room when someone knocked on the door and walked into the room.
“Not settling in well I take it.” The therapist said.
“I used to settling into these places. Isn’t actually my first time in rehab.” I said and I started to mess with my hands.
“Then you know exactly what we have to do and what you are going to go through and what questions we have to ask to get to the problem.” The therapist said.
“I just want to get better and stay sober for more than 2 months before putting my family through stress and worry of if I’m going to end up dead somewhere or not.” I said and the therapist nodded.
“Well I hope that this time works for you. Now I have read your file and I heard about what happened in group therapy.” The therapist said and I looked down.
“You’ve had it rough the last couple of years.” The therapist said and I sighed.
“What can I say haven’t got a pretty past.” I said as I looked at the therapist.
“Okay, I see you are very troubled young man and I want to help you get to the bottom of your problems. So I am suggesting that you do three group therapy a week and everyday we do a one to one session.” The therapist said and I frowned at him.
“Troubled yes I will admit to that one. But the last places I’ve been too I was forced to do group therapy, why aren’t you doing that to me?” I said and the therapist smiled at me.
“Because it’s clear that you don’t like discussing your weaknesses with others who aren’t close to you and I’m hoping that us two will form a bond where you can trust me enough where you tell me about your past and I will try and help you with how to cope without having to turn to drugs.” The therapist said and I nodded.
“So can you tell me a bit about yourself?” The therapist asked and I sighed.
“I’m 17, I’ve been using drugs since I was like 13. I have depression along with anorexia which I’m currently relapsing in. I have a autistic brother and I’m gay with a partner.” I said as I was unsure.
“Okay so you have a history of drugs then. Have you had any treatment for your anorexia?” The therapist asked and I frowned.
“What for this time round or in the past? Because if it was in the past then yes I’ve had treatment for it but this time I haven’t had treatment yet but when I get out of here I’m probably going to go straight into inpatients.” I said and the therapist nodded and wrote something down.
“Okay enough with the heavy shit, how long have you and your partner been together?” The therapist asked and a smile found its way to my lips.
“It’s been about 7 months now. I don’t know as I’ve pretty much out of my face.” I said quietly.
“Has he been supporting you with getting of the drugs?” The therapist asked and I sighed loudly as I nodded.
“Yeah, yeah he’s been very supportive with all of this.” I said quietly.
“That’s good, not many people are as lucky as you.” The therapist said and I nodded as I looked at him.
“I know I’m very lucky to have him.” I said as I began to starch my arm.
The therapist picked this up and smiled at me.

“Okay, I think that’s enough for one day, I’ll see you tomorrow and we’ll talk again.” The therapist said and I nodded as I stood up and walked out the room and went back to my room where I stayed for the rest of the evening.

Notes