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Everything is fine

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Jack’s POV

I was pacing up and down in the waiting room when someone came in and I looked up and saw Alex’s mum.
“I tried to get him to go and get help sooner but he was refusing to go.” I said quickly and probably sounded like I was panicking, which I was.
“Jack it’s okay. Alex is very stubborn about admitting he needs help. You was there for him when he needed you and that’s all what you can do.” Alex’s mum said and I shook my head.
“I think I’m the reason why Alex took the drugs and self harmed.” I said quietly and Alex’s mum looked at me with a frown.
“Sit down Jack and explain to me.” Alex’s mum said and we both sat down but my leg kept on bouncing up and down slightly.
“Me and Alex got into a argument this morning and I walked out because if I didn’t then I probably would of punched Alex. I came back like half an hour later to find Alex sat in the rain with his arms cut to shit and him off his fucking face on something.” I said as a couple of tears rolled down my face.
“Don’t blame yourself okay. After Travis, Alex has always been like this. I guess it was the only thing he go too when stuff was happening to him.” Alex’s mum said and I looked at her.
“This Travis person did some horrible things to Alex?” I asked and Alex’s mum nodded as she sniffed.
“Yeah, I could of helped stopping the situation but I was so busy with work and with Eddie at the time I thought Alex was smart enough not to go for someone like Travis it I was wrong. I came home one day and Alex left a note saying he had moved out. It must of been about 8 months before we all saw him again.” Alex’s mum said as she looked down and put some of her hair behind her ear.
“That bastard ruined Alex. But now Alex has you and I just hope you can show him that not everyone is like Travis and that he doesn’t have to run to drugs or a blade or to starve himself when he’s in trouble.” Alex’s mum said as she looked at me and smiled which I returned.
“I promise I’ll try and show Alex that I’m not like Travis.” I said quietly and Alex’s mum nodded as a doctor came in.
“Gaskarth family.” He said and both me and Alex’s mum stood up and the doctor came over to us.

“Hello, I’m Dr Avery and I’m going to be treating Alexander.” The doctor said.
“Alex, call him Alex. He hates being called Alexander.” I said and the doctor smiled as he nodded.
“Okay, I need to know some stuff about Alex. Just so I can have a background of him and think of a treatment plan for him.” The doctor said.
“Is my boy going to be okay?” Alex’s mum asked and the doctor sighed which was never a good thing.
“Alex has overdosed on drugs and he has very deep self inflicted injuries on his arms and legs, I would say right now Alex is going to be lucky if he makes the night.” The doctor said and I looked down as Alex’s mum started to cry.
“I know this is difficult right now but I need to ask you both some questions.” The doctor said and Alex’s mum sniffed as she nodded and looked at me and I smiled slightly at her.
“How long has Alex been taking drugs?” The doctor asked and Alex’s mum sighed.
“About 3 years now.” Alex’s mum said quietly.
“Has Alex ever gone to rehab to help with coming off the drugs?” The doctor asked and Alex’s mum nodded.
“Yes, me and my family have sent Alex to at least 9 different rehabs but Alex always finds a way to relapse.” Alex’s mum said and the doctor nodded.
“Do you know what drugs Alex takes or has taken tonight?” The doctor asked.
“Alex takes whatever drugs he can get his hands on, as for tonight I don’t know what he took.” I said and the doctor looked at me.
“Can I go and see me boyfriend please.” I asked quietly and the doctor sighed slightly as he shook his head.
“I’m afraid that you can’t, we are still working very hard on Alex at the moment.” The doctor said and he got up and walked away and I looked at Alex’s mum.
“Oh Jesus.” Alex’s mum whispered.
“I can’t loose him, Eddie devotes on Alex and Alex is the only one who understands Eddie. If we loose Alex then Eddie dies with him.” Alex’s mum said quietly and I put my hand on her knee.
“Alex will be okay because Alex knows his limitations.” I said quietly as I stood up and walked out the room and went outside for a cigarette.

I was lost inside my head when someone came over and stood next to me and I looked and saw Alex’s mum.
“Can I have one?” Alex’s mum sniffed and I nodded and ha fed her one of my cigarettes and a lighter and I watched her smoke the cigarette.
“I can take on the most difficult cases anyone can throw at me and not once do I think about having a cigarette, but as soon as something happens to my boys I have to have a cigarette and I can smoke a pack of 20 in 1 hour.” Alex’s mum said and I smiled at her.
“I suppose Alex and Eddie are different to the people you work with. Them two are good and the people you come home after a shit day at work and they put the smiles on your face. Whereas the people you work with I guess aren’t nice people and you can leave them behind and forget about them because at the end of the day once you’ve done your job you never see them again.” I said and Alex’s mum looked at me and smiled.
“And they are mini versions of you and Mr Gaskarth.” I said and Alex’s mum chuckled as she shook her head.
“Call me Izzy and my husband is called Mac, you can call us that we won’t be offended.” Izzy said and I nodded as someone else joined us.
I looked and saw Mac and Eddie.
“How is he?” Mac asked and Izzy looked down and sniffed, Mac walked over to Izzy and Eddie looked lost so I walked over to him and pulled him into my side.
Izzy looked at me for help and I smiled as I nodded agreeing silently that I would speak about Alex.
“Alex is critical.” I said and Mac frowned at me.
“But he’s going to be okay?” Eddie asked as he looked at me.
“Right now the doctors are saying he’s going to be lucky if he makes the night.” I said as I looked down.
“What the fuck did you say to him?” Mac asked seriously.
“Mac this wasn’t Jacks fault. Jack was with Alex when he went unconscious and he was trying to get Alex better. We know what Alex is like and this has nothing to do with Jack.” Izzy said and I smiled slightly at her.
“I’m going to go home and give you guys some space. Can you let me know what happens to Alex, Eddie has my number if you need to get hold of me.” I said and Izzy nodded but Mac still wasn’t sure of me.
“Of course Jack. You’re more than welcomed to stay with us if you want.” Izzy said and I shook my head.
“I need to go home and you guys need to spend d some time with Alex without me hanging around. As long as someone lets me knows what’s happening then I don’t need to be here.” I said and Izzy smiled and Eddie looked at me.
“Is Alex going to die?” Eddie asked quietly and I sighed quietly.
“I don’t know, if Alex makes it through the night then he could be okay. But for now we need to let the doctors do their work on keeping Alex alive for us.” I said and Eddie nodded and I smiled at him as Eddie walked over to Izzy and Mac and I turned round and walked home.

I got home and Roo and Flynn was still up.
“Hey look who remember where his home is.” Flynn said and I looked at him and shook my head at him.
“Hey what’s the matter?” Roo asked as he walked over to me and caught hold of my hand and guided me into the sitting room and Flynn walked to the kitchen to get drinks or something.
“Alex took a really bad overdose tonight and it’s touch and go if he’ll make the night.” I said and a couple of tears rolled down my cheeks which Roo wiped away for me.
“Oh Jack I’m sorry.” Roo said and I looked down as Flynn walked in and the smell of hot chocolate filling my nose.
“I made you my special hot chocolate.” Flynn said as I looked at him.
“Thanks Flynn.” I said quietly as Flynn put my drink on the coffee table.
“Other than what has happened tonight, how has Alex been? I ha ent seen much of him at school for the last couple of weeks.” Roo said and I sighed.
“Relapsing, that’s why Alex hasn’t been at school the last couple of weeks. He thinks I don’t know but I knew, I know this morning he took drugs when he got up this morning. I was just hoping he would of told me that’s all. If he makes it he’s going to have to spend time in rehab and probably inpatients.” I said and Roo pulled me into a hug which I allowed him to do.
“Alex is going to be okay, he knows his limits on what to take without doing something stupid.” Flynn said and I looked at him.
“But he has done something stupid, he is currently in fucking hospital hanging onto life! Alex may know his limits but that doesn’t stop him wanting to take more drugs which will lead to a fucking overdose. Alex is killing himself and his family and the worse thing is nobody can stop him unless he wants to stop the drugs so in 2 years he could be dead. So this is not okay.” I said as I stood up and walked out the room and went to my room shutting the door behind me and I walked over to my bed and sat on it and I felt more tears roll down my cheeks as I lead down and I cried myself to sleep.

———————————————————————————————————————
I was walking round school lost inside my head when I felt someone get hold of my hand and I turned round and saw Eddie.
“Hey you, how are things?” I asked and Eddie looked down.
“I haven’t seen you f..f..for ages.” Eddie said clearly not used to throwing his weight around or being the person to change the subject.
“I’m just been busy with school and finding a job.” I said and Eddie shook his head.
“No, no, no. You must go to the hospital.” Eddie said tapping his head which made me frown.
“Eddie I can’t go to the hospital.” I said and that made Eddie flip for some reason.
“No! You must go to the hospital! He needs you.” Eddie said loudly as he started to bang the locker hard and I quickly looked round and saw people watching.
“Come on Eddie, now isn’t the time or the place to do this.” I said softly and gently got hold of his arm and gently lead him away from the corridor to somewhere quieter.

“Eddie you need to breath and calm down for me.” I said as Eddie carried on losing it and I could really do with Alex right now but I have to try and wing it with Eddie at the moment.
“You got to go to the hospital!” Eddie shouted and I sighed.
“And I will go to the hospital if you calm down and stop shouting at me.” I said and Eddie looked at me and you could see he wanted to calm down but something was stopping him.
“I need deep pressure.” Eddie said which made me frown.
“Um what?” I asked confused.
“I need deep pressure, like a really really tight hug.” Eddie said and I raised a eyebrow at him.
“I would fucking do it myself but it doesn’t work like that.” Eddie snapped and I sighed and walked over to him and hugged him.
“It needs to be tighter.” Eddie said and I frowned but I did what he said.
After a couple of minutes I loosened my grip and let go and looked at Eddie.
“Better?” I asked and Eddie shook his head but he had calmed down a little.
“You need to go to the hospital, Alex needs you so much.” Eddie said quietly.
“Eddie, your dad blames me for this, it’s better if I stay away for a while.” I said and Eddie looked at me.
“Since Travis dad blames everyone for Alex’s problems. Please go to the hospital, if not for yourself then for Alex. I know he’s still out of it but maybe he might wake up if he knows your with him.” Eddie said as he looked down.
“They said that if he doesn’t wake up soon then they won’t do anymore and turn his machine off. I can’t let that happen, Alex can’t die.” Eddie said getting upset again.
“Hey, Alex isn’t going to die. He’s a fighter and he won’t give up on you or for your parents. Alex will get through this.” I said and Eddie shook his head.
“Alex needs you, just like you need Alex.” Eddie said as he looked down.
“I’ll go and see him after school.” I said and Eddie looked at me and smiled.
“Come with me now.” Eddie said and I frowned at him.
“Come to the hospital with me.” Eddie said and I sighed and decided to skip the rest of school and got a lift with Alex’s dad to the hospital.

“Let’s give Alex and Jack some space Ed.” Alex’s dad said as he looked at me and Alex as I was holding Alex’s hand and couldn’t take my eyes off him.
“Can we get a hot chocolate?” Eddie asked as he got out the chair.
“Yes we can get hot chocolate.” Mac said and I heard the door open and shut and I knew I was left alone with Alex.
“Hey babe, you going to have to wake up soon because if not then they will pull the plug and I can’t have them do that because I can’t loose another person I love.” I said quietly and kissed his hand.
“Please get better yeah. Then that way we can all help you get better, you can go to rehab and get better and then we can all help you stay sober.” I said quietly.
“We’re not cross at you, if anything right now we are very worried about you and scared that if you don’t wake up soon then we’ll have to pull the plug and I don’t want that to happen.” I said quietly and I felt something squeeze my hand.
“Lex? Hey squeeze my hand again.” I said as I shuffled forward on the chair and waited and what felt like minutes, Alex squeezed my hand back which made me smile as I looked back at Alex.
I saw his eyes was fluttering open and I stood up and looked at him.
Alex opened his eyes and looked at me and I shushed him in a comfort way.
“It’s okay, you’re on the tube to help you breath.” I said softly and moved some hair from Alex’s face.
“I’ll go and get someone to get the tube out okay.” I said softly as I turned round and walked off and found a nurse and bumped into Mac and Eddie.
“Alex is awake.” I said and Mac smiled widely as he headed towards the room and the nurse was just taking the tube out of Alex.
“Okay can you cough for me?” The nurse asked and Alex coughed loudly and I poured him some water into a mug and gave it to him which made Alex look at me.
“I’ll give you guys some space.” I said quietly as I kissed Alex’s forehead and went to walk away but Alex caught hold of my hand.
“S..S..Stay.” Alex whispered and I looked at his dad and Eddie.
“I’ll be back later okay, right now you need to spend time with your family.” I said quietly as Alex let go of my hand and I walked out the room and headed outside.

Once I was outside, I felt some tears roll down my cheeks and I got a cigarette out and I started to smoke it.
“Jack?” I heard someone say from behind me and I turned round and saw Mac looking at me confused.
“You should be with Alex and Eddie.” I sniffed and Mac shook his head.
“Eddie will be okay with Alex, but I am worried about you.” Mac said and I looked down and sniffed as I flicked some ash of my cigarette.
“You shouldn’t be worried about me. I’m not your problem, you should be focused on Alex and making sure he gets the help he needs.” I said and Mac sighed slightly.
“Well I do worry, hell even Izzy worries about you. You are with Alex and Eddie loves you. You are family to us so you are our problem.” Mac said and I sighed.
“I know about your past and I know you haven’t had it easy.” Mac said and I looked at him and started to worry.
“I’m nothing like my brother if that what you are thinking.” I said and Mac smiled as he took a couple of steps towards me.
“I know you aren’t like your brother, I don’t think your brother would be so good round Eddie and I know your brother would use Eddies good nature to his advantage and you don’t do that, you have a big heart and you are a very caring young man.” Mac said and I smiled at him.
“Have your cigarette and go back inside and sit with Alex. Other than Eddie, Alex doesn’t have anyone to talk to and Eddie sometimes doesn’t understand Alex. Alex opens up to you and he will talk to you.” Mac said and I smiled slightly.
“I’m finished now anyway.” I said quietly and we went inside and I went to where Alex was while Mac went and got me a coffee.

“How long is he going to stay here for?” Izzy asked as she messed with Alex’s hair since Alex was asleep.
“We’re hoping that Alex will just have to spend the night here before he is moved to another ward.” The doctor said.
“Why aren’t you moving him now?” Mac asked.
“Alex is still unstable at the moment, yes he has woken up but the next 24 hours are still critical for him so he will be under observations until tomorrow and if he hasn’t had any turns tonight then we will move him.” The doctor said and looked at me and Eddie since we both have been quiet and let the adults talk.
“He’s not allowed painkillers, Alex is trying to recover from his drug problem and one of the many go to drugs he goes to his painkillers.” Izzy said and the doctor smiled.
“We have it all on our charts not to give him any painkillers.” The doctor said which made Izzy smile.
“So is my brother going to be okay?” Eddie asked quietly as he hid behind me.
“Yes, once this next 24 hours are done and there’s no turns then your brother will be okay.” The doctor said and he looked at me to see if I had any questions which I didn’t so with that the doctor left.
“At least it’s a good sign that’s he’s getting better.” Izzy said quietly as she lent down and kissed Alex’s forehead.
“I have tons of work to do at home so I’m heading home.” Izzy said and Mac nodded and looked at Eddie.
“You boys coming home?” Izzy asked.
“I’ll come home.” Eddie said and Izzy looked at me.
“I’ll stay with him don’t worry.” I said quietly and Izzy smiled at me and they walked out the room leaving me alone with Alex.

I was sat in the room when I saw Alex waking up.
“I’m going to be sick.” Alex said quietly and I grab this bowl and handed it to him as Alex threw up.
“Turn around.” Alex said as he threw up again.
“Going to take more than this for me to turn around.” I said as I sat on the bed and rubbed Alex’s back.
“I hate withdrawals.” Alex muttered as he spat in the bowl and handed it back to me and I got up and walked over to the bin and put it in there and walked back over to Alex and poured him out a drink and handed it to him as he rolled onto his back and sat up.
“Has mum, dad and Eddie been?” Alex asked quietly as he handed the cup back to me and I put it on the table as I sat on the bed.
“Yeah They was here earlier to make sure you was okay.” I said and Alex smiled.
“Did they say anything about this?” Alex asked as he looked down.
“Nope, if anything they’ve been worried about you.” I said and Alex nodded slightly.
“Are they going to send me to rehab?” Alex asked and I looked down.
“I don’t know, but I think going to rehab is going to be the best here Lex.” I said as I looked at Alex and he sighed loudly.
“I don’t want to go.” Alex whispered and I made him look at me.
“Baby please go, this last month have been hell, I nearly lost you. You was literally only a couple of days away of having that machine turned off and you would of been dead. Everyone has been worried about you and if you was going to get over this.” I said seriously.
“Why didn’t you pull the plug earlier?” Alex whispered and I looked at him shocked as I got of the bed and walked away from the bed.
“You really want to be dead? You fucking kidding me right now! How could you want to be dead Alexander!” I said loudly and Alex looked down.
“You don’t understand.” Alex whispered.
“Understand what? Having a manipulative person in my life, I have had that. Taking drugs? Yes I have done that too. But the one thing you fucking have which I long for the fucking most is to have my mum and dad around and you put your family through so much stress of not knowing wether you are dead or alive while they are at work. So tell me what the fuck I don’t understand.” I said loudly.
“You don’t understand the shit I have been through.” Alex said as he looked at me.
“I do understand. I have been in your shoes and I have gotten over that shit.” I said and Alex looked down.
I looked at him and sighed loudly as I walked over to him and sat on the bed and pulled him into my side and Alex rolled onto his side.
“Is it worth it?” Alex whispered and I looked down and sighed.
“Yeah, it’s always worth it.” I whispered.

I looked down and saw that Alex had fallen asleep and I gently moved and lead Alex down and pulled the blanket over him and sat in the chair and kept an eye on him until I fell asleep as well.

Notes

Comments

I love this I can’t wait to see more and more!!

MeganLovesATL MeganLovesATL
7/24/18