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Everything is fine

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Alex’s POV.

I woke up and quickly shut my eyes because of the bright light which made me groan loudly and I heard someone walk over and I opened one eye and saw Mum looking relieved but upset at the same time.
“It’s okay Lex, just rest okay.” Mum said softly as she started to mess with my hair.
I went to speak but I couldn’t speak and I looked at mum confused and scared on why I couldn’t talk.
“It’s okay baby, you have a tube down your throat to help you breath. A nurse is just coming to take it out.” Mum said and I felt a tear roll down my cheek and mum wiped the tear away.
“Don’t cry okay. You’re not in trouble.” Mum said softly and she lent down and kissed my forehead.
“Get some sleep okay, I’m going to be right here when you wake up.” Mum said as I felt my eyes getting heavy.
“We’ll Talk when you wake up again.” Mum said and I nodded as I let sleep take over.

When I woke up next I looked round my room and saw mum was on the phone to someone and she looked up and smiled at me which I returned slightly as I looked down and I heard Mum walk over and pull the chair over and she caught hold of my hand which made me look at her.
“I’m sorry.” I said and I stated to cry and mum stood up again and she gently pushed me over on the bed and sat on the bed and she pulled me into her side and she kissed the top of my head as I cried into her side.
“It’s okay, we was ready for it to happen. Just wasn’t expecting it to be this bad that’s all.” Mum said quietly.
“But I’ve messed up and I’m going to get thrown out and I won’t have any family.” I sobbed as I moved from Mum and she made look at her.
“We’re not going to throw you out okay. You’ll always be part of this family Alex.” Mum said as she hugged me again and I heard the door open and I looked and saw Jack with a card and a teddy.
“I’m going to make some phone calls okay. You two need to talk.” Mum said as she got off the bed and got her stuff and walked out the room and Jack walked walked over and sat in the chair.
“I hope this cheers you up a little.” Jack said quietly as he handed me the teddy which I took and smiled at Jack.
“Thanks Jack.” I whispered as I looked down at the teddy and a small smile found it way to my lips.
“We need to talk about what the hell happened Alex.” Jack said and I looked at him.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” I said quietly as I looked back down at the teddy.
Jack sighed as he moved from the chair and sat next to me on the bed.

“I understand if you don’t want to talk about this, but I think we need to talk about if you really want with me and you.” Jack said and I just sniffed as a new set of tears threatened to fall.
“I don’t know.” I whispered.
“Do you want me to be a friend because I am more than happy to be friend to you Alex. But if you’re just going to shut me out and just pretend I’m not here then I can’t be that friend that you really need.” Jack said and I looked away as the tears rolled down my cheek and I sobbed loudly which made Jack move on the bed and I felt him making me look at him.
“I might not know what your past was like or what type of friends you had before coming here but I’m guessing that none of them were really friends to you. I understand why you have built this wall around you, but just know that I’m not like those people in England. I generally care about you and your wellbeing.” Jack said and I sniffed as I moved my head out of his hold and I looked down.
“I’ve never really had friends. I thought they was my friends but they just used me.” I said quietly as I messed with the teddy.
“I won’t use you like they did. When I want to be a friend to someone I generally mean it and I look after my friends.” Jack said and I looked at him.
“How do I know I can trust you? How do I know that you’re not like those people back in England?” I asked as I sniffed loudly and Jack reach over to the bedside table and got the box of tissues and placed it in my lap.
“You can trust me as I don’t like seeing you getting hurt or doing this to yourself. I can only show you that I’m not like those people in England.” Jack said and I nodded slightly.

“It really scared me when I found you in the woods.” Jack said quietly and I looked back down again.
“You should of just left me there.” I whispered and I felt Jack look at me.
“Why would I do that? Alex your family was worried sick about you and so was I to be honest. You had mixed loads of drugs together, you had self harmed how was I meant to just leave you there and die.” Jack said.
“Because maybe I wanted to die, maybe I don’t want to be here anymore. I have nothing to lose here Jack. I’m a fucking waste of space who has done nothing but fuck my life up and allowed things to happen and I can never get over those things just like how I can’t give up the drugs. I need the drugs to stop everything going around in my head I need them to make me not feel anything.” I said as I looked back at Jack.
“You have everything to lose Alex. You can use this to get your life back on track again, you can still be that person you wanted to be before everything happened to you. You are not a waste for space, you are anything but a waste of space you are still alive because there’s a reason for you to be alive. You don’t always need the drugs to stop your mind going round in circles.” Jack said and I shook my head as I looked away from him.
“They took everything from me. Everything I wanted to be is gone because of them. I can’t do what I want to do because I got into trouble with police. You don’t understand Jack. Just don’t even bother trying to understand.” I said quietly.
Jack sighed as he looked down.
“When I lost my parents I thought my world had ended. I tried to kill myself so many times and I was still only a kid. I had to move to a completely new state to get away from it all. I was a street kid for a year, that’s how I met Roo. Roo found me and he took me home and that’s when I found my family, my second chance and I’m so glad I never took my life because I would never of found out that it does get better, yeah it’s hard and it took ages for me to trust them but it does get better Alex. Second chances are always worth it and ending your life stops you from proving yourself and others that they was wrong about you. Who knows maybe in 5 years time you get to do the job you want to do but you will never know if you take your life. Trust me when I say I understand you as I’ve been here. I’ve been the person in the hospital bed regretting the fact the attempt to take my life has failed but now I am so thankful that none of the attempts worked because I wouldn’t be sat here with you and I would have the amazing people who are my family.” Jack said and I looked at him.
“You tried to kill yourself?” I whispered and Jack looked down and nodded.
“I know what it’s like to be in that black hole inside your mind. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone to feel that feeling. But just try please because that little black cloud will leave and yeah I admit that it comes back every so often but it’s always worth seeing what it’s like to have colour and rainbows in your life.” Jack said and I could t help but smile slightly.
“I’ve missed the colour and rainbows. Can’t even remember the last time I’ve seen colour and rainbows.” I said quietly and I felt Jack pull me into his side.
“Let me help you see colour and rainbows.” Jack said quietly and I nodded.
“Okay.” I whispered as I felt my eyes getting heavy.
“Get some sleep okay, I’ll still be here when you wake up.” Jack said quietly as he went to move from the bed and I put my hand on top of his.
“Stay please.” I mumbled and Jack moved a leg back onto the bed and he stayed there as I fell asleep leaning against him.

———————————————————————————————————————

“I don’t need any more time in rehab.” I argued with the doctor as I sat on the edge of my bed 2 weeks later.
“I think either rehab or inpatients is the best for you right now.” The doctor said.
“I’ve been to 5 rehabs already and they haven’t worked and I’ve been in like 7 inpatients and none of them worked. I can spend a month in rehab and within 3 weeks of being out I’m back on the drugs again.” I said and I looked at mum who had this look on her face saying that she was considering either one of the two.
“I can’t let you leave the hospital without either one of the two I’m offering.” The doctor said and I sighed.
“But why waste the resources on me when I’m clearly not getting any better when there are people out there wanting the help but aren’t getting the help because there’s people like me taking up space.” I said and the doctor sighed.
“Alex is a strong character and is very stubborn. If he has the right help and support at home then Alex can normally stay clean from the drugs for over 2 months. As for his self harm this is the first time in like 5 months he’s self harmed. He is getting better but he just needs the help in the outside to get through it all.” Mum said and I almost jumped with joy as Mum was finally on my side on this which was a first.
“If I get you help in the outside and you going to groups for people who are recovering from drug additions and also see a therapist 3 times a week then I am willing to discharge you. But that’s only if you want to help yourself and get better. If you’re not willing to get better then I can’t offer you this help and I will have no choice but send you to rehab.” The doctor said and I nodded.
“I’m up for that.” I said and mum smiled at me as this was also the first time I agreed to a treatment plan.
“Okay that’s good you are agreeing to this. But I want you to go to every session, if I hear you have just missed one session in either of these then I will put you in rehab. Do you understand.” The doctor said and I nodded with a smile.
“Okay you will be in group therapy for 2 months and if you feel you need more time there then come and talk to me and say you need more time and I will be more than happy to give it to you. You’ll have one to one therapy sessions until the therapist thinks you no longer need that service.” The doctor said and I nodded.
“That sounds good to me.” I said and for the first time in 3 years I generally believed in myself to get better.
“Okay, also you don’t forget to take your medication okay. This is important, it’s now your life on the line. Don’t mess this up for yourself.” The doctor said and gave me my prescription which I took and the doctor smiled and walked out the room.
“Promise me Alex you will try and get better this time. You know you can always come and talk to me, dad, Eddie and even Jack if you need to talk to someone.” Mum said and I looked at her and smiled.
“I think this is going to be The one to get me better Mum. I think I can do this.” I said and mum smiled widely as she got up and walked over and pulled me into a hug.
“There’s my boy.” Mum said and I smiled and returned mums hug.
We got my prescription and I went home looking forward to what this will lead too and if I can completely get over my problems.

———————————————————————————————————————

“So they’ve offered me a support group and therapy sessions.” I said as me and Jack walked to school which has become a habit now and to be honest I really liked this and me and Jack got a lot closer as time went on.
“That’s excellent Alex, see told you that if you put your mind to it you can get better.” Jack said and I looked at him with a slight glare.
“When do you start then?” Jack asked and I frowned slightly trying to remember.
“Next week I think. But I think I can actually do it this time Jack, like I actually believe in myself to get better.” I said and Jack smiled as he pulled me into his side and let me go a couple of steps later.

We got to the school and we went to the trouble of people we hung out with and like last time the boys was smoking a joint with a couple of girls this time and Jack looked at me as I stood next to Cara ignoring the smell and the need of the joint.
“So just talk to me and distract me please.” I said to Cara who looked at me confused.
“So no Hey Cara how are you?” Cara asked and I looked at her.
“I would but I’m not that much of a gentleman.” I said and Cara chuckled and Jack stood next to me.
“Anyway, where have you been? It’s been like 3 weeks since I saw you last.” Cara asked and I felt Jack look at me wondering if I would say why.
“I’ve been in hospital.” I said deciding to tell the truth but ready to lie if I had to lie.
“Shit, are you okay?” Cara asked and I smiled as I nodded.
“Yeah I’m good now.” I said and I felt Jack put something in my hand which made me frown so I looked down and saw a cigarette which made me smile and I looked at Jack and smiled at him.
“Thanks.” I said and Jack returned my smile as he handed me a lighter which I took.
“I’m guessing it’s no good trying to flirt and chat you up then?” Cara asked and I looked at her confused before I realised what she meant.
“Nope, sadly the wrong body parts for my liking.” I said and Cara smiled.
“Damn, always the cute ones.” Cara said and I chuckled.
“Trust me I’m not even boyfriend material. Too many problems for people to cope with.” I said and Cara pulled a said face but didn’t ask questions which I liked and it made me like her a little more.
“I’m sure Jack can cope, I mean his eyes never leave your ass and you can almost see him undressing you with his eyes.” Cara said and I looked at Jack who just glared at Cara which made me chuckle.
“Trust me it’s going to take a lot to get me out of my clothes.” I said and Jack looked at me and just smirked which made me roll my eyes.
“Hey Alex, you want some of this.” One of the boys asked as he held up the joint.
I could feel Jack’s eyes on me.
“Na I’m good thanks, need to cut back on the weed intake.” I said and the boy just shrugged his shoulders and carried on smoking it.
“I need to go to my locker.” I said and flicked my cigarette away and Jack did the same and he joined me to my locker.

“Never thought I would see you give up a joint.” Jack said and I chuckled.
“I literally can’t do anything like I used to do because of my medication I’m now on so I have to behave like a normal person for once in my life and can I just say I don’t like being a normal person.” I said and Jack chuckled as he Strached which showed his belly and hip bones which just made my mouth water and my dick stir a little so I quickly looked away.
“What lesson you got first?” Jack asked and I looked at my timetable which was taped to my locker door.
“Music. What about you?” I asked and Jack smiled which means he was in the same lesson as me.
“I believe today is the day we literally have all our lessons together.” Jack said and I pulled a face.
“Hey, I’m not that bad.” Jack said as he playfully hit my arm.
“Your bearable.” I said as I looked at him and he looked spat me with a fake hurt expression on his face which made me chuckle.
“I’m joking. Come on let’s go.” I said as I shut my locker and grabbed my bag off the floor and Jack followed me to music where he sat next to me.

“Today I want you guys to write your own songs, since you have taken music to hopefully have a career in music so I thought as a treat we get to see how talented you are and write your own songs.” Mr Skyes said and I looked at Jack who looked completely lost in this.
“It can be anything, as long as there is something I can listen to at the end of 3 weeks.” Mr Skyes said and a bit of relief came to Jack’s face but not much.
“Of you go then guys no point sitting around chatting you’ve got deadlines to hit.” Mr Skyes said and everyone went off part from me and Jack.
“Please tell me you aren’t any good at this stuff.” Jack said and I chuckled.
“Sadly, I kinda am good at this stuff.” I said and Jack groaned loudly.
“Honestly it really isn’t that hard.” I said as I got my notebook out and handed it to Jack.
“Pick a song, the chords are there as well if you need it or you can completely change it, it’s up to you.” I said as I got up and left Jack with my notebook.

I was miles away writing and thinking while sat on the floor when someone came over and sat with me, I looked up expecting it to be Jack but was greeted with Mr Skyes.
“I’ve seen your grades from England, you are a talented young man. But attendance is bloody shocking. I mean you’ve literally missed about 7 weeks out of the 10 weeks we’ve been back from summer. Is there any reasons for it?” Mr Skyes asked and I looked down but I nodded.
“Do you want to talk in private?” Mr Skyes asked and I nodded and we both stood up and went into his office which was in the room and he shut the door behind us which I didn’t like but I have to learn not everyone is like the people in England.
“Okay, just so you know that you can tell me anything but if it is a risk to yours or others health or lives then I’m going to have to report it to the other teachers of the school and contact your parents.” Mr Skyes said and I nodded.
“If you don’t want to talk to me about then it’s fine, but we have a selection of students who may need help from teachers or just to have someone to talk to, you are one of those students and I’m the one you come and talk to if you have a problem with anything. I just want you to know that you can trust me okay and I do want to help you.” Mr Skyes said and I nodded again but my mouth was frozen shut which was annoying.
“I phoned your mum the other day when you was off for a while, she explained to me about the drugs and just so you know I haven’t told the other teachers in the school. I believe this is something which if you want to share then you’ll share but I just want you to know that I know and I’m going to be here to help you.” Mr Skyes said and I smiled and nodded again.
“You going to explain to me why you weren’t in school for the last 3 weeks?” Mr Skyes asked.
“I overdosed on some drugs and I was in hospital and then suicide watch for a week.” I said quietly as I stayed looked down and messed with my hands and Mr Skyes gave me a cube which had loads of different things on.
“Okay, are you getting help for this?” Mr Skyes asked and I nodded.
“I have a support group I go to and therapy 2 times a week and the support group is the 3rd therapy thing I agreed to.” I said quietly.
“So you’ll be missing school?” Mr Skyes asked and I shrugged my shoulders.
“The group is after school and I’ll probably miss some classes with therapy.” I said.
“Okay. Is there anything else I need to know so I know how to help you the best way that I can?” Mr Skyes asked and I shrugged my shoulders.
“I have depression so there maybe days where I physically cannot get out of bed. But it’s been a few weeks since that happened and the overdose was a result of the depression I guess.” I said quietly and Mr Skyes smiled.
“Well if you feel like your not coping while in school you know where my room is and you are more than welcomed to come in and have a chat or just listen to music. Im here to help you okay. Don’t think I’m the bad guy because I’m not.” Me Skyes said and I smiled at him.
“Does my brother have a teacher like you, someone he can come and talk to and if he needed to get away then he can go to their classrooms?” I asked and Mr Skyes smiled at me which made me frown.
“He’s got me as well. I tend to get the more challenging ones.” Mr Skyes said and I couldn’t help but chuckle slightly.
“Well you’ll certainly have a challenge with us two.” I said and Mr Skyes smiled.
“Go back and do what you have to do. I’m looking forward to hearing your work.” Mr Skyes said and I smiled and went back out the classroom and went back to do my work.

Since it was raining outside everyone was inside sat at their own table with the people they hung around with and the year 7 was running around like they was still at primary school.
The group Jack hung around with was the popular which was a bit of hard hitting thing for me to cope with since in England I was also in the popular group of people.
“What did Mr Skyes want?” Jack asked as he focused on the ball of paper he had made and was working on who to flick it at.
“That if I need someone to talk to then I can talk to him and that he knows about my thing as well so yeah he’s basically the teacher I can go to.” I said and Jack smiled slightly as he flicked the bit of paper which went to the non popular table and everyone was just spazing out about it.
“Stupid retards.” Jack said and I looked at him.
“You’re lucky Eddie has actually found a group of people which isn’t the non popular lot otherwise you would of been getting shouted at.” I said and Jack chuckled.
“Anyway, back to what we was talking too. Mr Skyes is a good person to have, I had him and he really does help and he’s not judgmental like the other teachers and his tattoos are amazing.” Jack said and I chuckled.
“Christ you sound a school girl with a crush.” some girl said.
“You drool over him as well, so why can’t I drool as well.” Jack said and I just rolled my eyes.
“Hey, I need my note book back please.” I said as I hit Jack’s arm and he put my notebook on my lap since it was on his lap.
“I’m going somewhere I bit more quiet if you need me.” I said to Jack and he looked at me and smiled.
“Want me to come with?” Jack said and I shook my head.
“I’m a big boy now I think I can find where I want to go.” I said as I stood up and walked off and I could feel Jack’s eyes on me.

I had my headphones in and I was walking home when I felt someone drag me away from where I was heading and I looked up to have a go at the person when I saw it was Jack and he looked like he was upset about something.
We got to this hill when Jack dropped my wrist and spun round and looked at me.
“I fucking trusted you!” Jack said loudly and I frowned at him confused.
“You can still trust me, I don’t know what you’re on about.” I said really confused.
“You fucking told someone about my parents!” Jack said loudly and I shook my head.
“I never told anyone Jack, I swear I never told anyone.” I said and Jack scoffed.
“What So you destroyed your life and now you want to destroy mine?” Jack said loudly and getting into my face.
“I have never told anyone Jack. Fuck sake why won’t you believe me when I say that.” I said taking a step back not liking this situation.
“That’s fucking bullshit! I can’t believe anything which comes out of that fucking mouth of yours!” Jack shouted.
I looked down and all the memories from Travis came back.
“You’re fucking pathetic. You know that fucking pathetic.” I said and I felt tears in my eyes as I would never expect this from Jack.
“You know what yes I am fucking pathetic, Alex the giant fuck up. Well done it doesn’t take a genius to realise I’m pathetic.” I said and you could hear the hurt in my voice.
“You know what Jack. I actually fucking liked you and I thought you was one of the good ones but thanks for showing me you are just like everyone else. Don’t be surprised if you don’t see me in school tomorrow.” I said and I turned round and walked off leaving Jack standing there.

———————————————————————————————————————

I was sat at the park with a packet of pills on me and I was wondering if I should take them or not when I heard the gate open and I looked up and saw Jack standing there watching me.
“Fuck off Jack.” I said but Jack walked over and sat next to me on the other swing.
“Don’t take them.” Jack said quietly and I looked at him.
“Give me one good fucking reason why I shouldn’t take them all and overdose on them and make sure this time I really do kill myself.” I said seriously and Jack looked at me in horror.
“You wouldn’t.” Jack said and I picked the bag up and put it to my mouth and Jack got up and slapped my packet out of my hand and the pills and they went all over the place.
“Why are you being like this?” Jack asked Sadly.
“You fucking accused me of doing something I have never done. I would never dream of telling people about your secrets, they are private to you and you shared them with me and I wouldn’t want to break your trust by telling your secrets.” I said and Jack looked down.
“I wouldn’t fuck what we have over like that. I would never go behind your back and say what you have said to me out of confidence. I’m not that sort of person and I will never be that person.” I said.
“Alex I’m so sorry.” Jack said quietly as he looked at me.
“Maybe you should get to know me before you start saying stuff about me or even accusing me of stuff.” I said and Jack looked down.
“Please can we start again?” Jack asked and I smiled as I got up and walked over to him which made Jack look at me.
“Yeah we can start again. Oh by the way you owe me 60 bucks since it’s now all over the floor.” I said and Jack chuckled.
“I’m sorry but I had to stop you somehow.” Jack said and I smiled at him.
“Might be able to forgive you for it.” I said and Jack just rolled his eyes.
“Fancy coming round mine? Everyone is out for a meal but I didn’t want to go so I have the house to myself if you fancy joining.” I said and Jack nodded.
“Follow me then, and don’t stare at my ass either.” I said and Jack chuckled.
“Well it’s hard not to stare, especially in those jeans.” Jack said and I felt a blush on my cheeks and Jack smiled smugly to himself.
“Fuck off.” I said and playfully pushed him.

“Lead the way to yours then.” Jack said and I smiled as I walked off with Jack following me.

Notes

The last couple of chapter are shite since I was on nights at work and had nothing better to do with my time and I’m really tired as well

don’t know if anyone likes the story or if it’s confusing or just a hunk of shit...

commment and vote :)

Comments

I love this I can’t wait to see more and more!!

MeganLovesATL MeganLovesATL
7/24/18