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Everything is fine

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Trigger warning

Alex’s POV

“I don’t see why you can’t be friends with him, I mean he’s good looking and he generally does care about you.” Eddie said as I sat in his room on his beanbag which when it was plug into his speakers vibrated to the bass and to be honest it’s like the best thing ever invented.
“Yeah I thought that about Travis and now look at me, I’m a recovering drug user in the verge of relapse with crippling depression and a eating disorder who also has a alcohol problem. Yeah he really was kind and caring especially after what he did as well.” I said and Eddie just looked at me from his bed.
“Yeah but Jack isn’t like Travis though. His whole manner is completely different to Travis and he actually doesn’t mind keeping an eye on me, whereas Travis would of quite happily wind me up or send me into meltdown.” Eddie said and I sighed loudly.
“Why is it when you’re fucked up liking someone is hard work.” I groaned and Eddie chuckled.
“Welcome to my world.” Eddie said and I smiled at him.
“Honestly being friends with Jack isn’t the worse thing you can do and you could do with making friends, it’ll make you less angry.” Eddie said and I rolled my eyes at him.
“I’m not angry.” I said and Eddie just looked at me.
“Please, if you had the chance to punch someone’s lights out then you would.” Eddie said as he frowned and got off his bed and walked over to his draws and sorted this picture out which was quite in place which made me chuckle slightly.
“I need to sort my room out.” Eddie said out of the blue and I looked st the time.
“Ed, it’s 11 at night and we have school in the morning, it’s too late to be sorting your room out buddy.” I said and Eddie just ignored me and his autism was kicking in since everything was being put back in it’s rightful place and he was doing his little rituals.
I sighed and just left him to it as if I tried to stop him it’ll only just make more problems for him which could lead to him proper freaking out and at this time of night it was just better to leave him and hope that he won’t be up all night.
“Night Eddie.” I said as I walked out his room but he was too involved with whatever he was doing to answer me so I walked into my room and just crashed.

Eddie didn’t come to school as he was up all night and then somehow had a massive sensory overload so he wasn’t up for going to school so I had to walk to school on my own which was boring without Eddie beside me.
I got to school and saw Jack with a group of people and I felt really unsure about going over but Jack saw me and he walked over to me.
“Hey Alex.” Jack said cheerfully which made me frown at him.
“You are way to happy for a Monday morning.” I said and Jack chuckled as he caught hold of my wrist and dragged me over to the group of people.
“Guys I want you too meet Alex.” Jack said and a couple said hi to me and the rest just looked at me briefly and went back to looking at their phones.
“You was the kid who challenged Mr Pitman?” A girl asked and I looked at her.
“So that’s the cunts name, but yeah I challenged him.” I said and the girl smiled.
“I’m Cara.” The girl said and I smiled.
“You already know my name so I won’t be saying it again.” I said and I smelt being lite and I looked over and saw some boys having a joint before school.
I noticed Jack looking at me with a frown on his face.
“Guys I said don’t smoke that stuff at school.” Jack said to the boys and one looked at him.
“It’s not killing anyone. It’s just a bit of weed at least it’s not like coke or whatever.” A boy said and I walked over to him and took the joint from him and started to smoke it.
“Alex.” Jack said seriously and I looked at him.
“Weed doesn’t hurt anyone.” I said as I handed it back to someone and we just shared the joint until the bell went.

I was walking to English when I felt someone grab hold of my wrist and I was being dragged somewhere.
“What the fucking hell are you playing at? Don’t you care that if you get back into drugs you can ruin everything you have done so far.” Jack said and I looked at him.
“Look if it’s not drugs that will kill me, then it’ll either be anorexia or depression that kills me so I might as well die being fucked out my face. Anyway like I said weed doesn’t hurt anyone. It’s not like I’m shooting myself up with heroine, then that will be a problem.” I said my thoughts not really clear as that joint was really strong.
“It might not hurt but it gives you a reason to relapse.” Jack said and I scoffed as I rolled my eyes.
“I’m already on the borderline of relapsing, not that it even concerns you.” I said and Jack looked at me seriously.
“More the reason to stay away from it.” Jack said.
“Christ, who the fuck do you think you actually are? You think you’re like god or something or even my fucking therapist.” I said.
“I’m trying to be a friend. A concerned friend who is worried about you.” Jack said.
“Yeah well I don’t need friends and you don’t have to worry about me so if you don’t mind I have lessons to get to.” I said as I went to the door but Jack blocked my way.
“Get the fuck out of my way.” I growled but Jack didn’t move.
For some reason this really pissed me off and I pushed Jack hard against the door and held him there.
“I am someone you don’t want to fuck with, so I suggest you get the fuck out of my way before I bash your fucking head in.” I said seriously and Jack looked shocked at my sudden change of mood.
I let Jack go and looked at him hard and Jack moved out of my way and I walked towards the door and put my hand on the door handle when Jack spoke again.
“You’ll have to do a lot worse to get rid of me. I mean it when I say I want to be a friend and I will look out for you.” Jack said and I scoffed slightly.
“I am not worth your time so don’t fucking bother worrying about me because I won’t thank you.” I said and walked out the room and since I wouldn’t be allowed into class I went to the school field and sat under this tree and looked in the pocket inside of my bag where I kept my drugs from everyone and I pulled out a small packet of coke and I sorted my spell out some line and done the lines by which point the bell went for the second lesson and I put my drugs away and went to my lesson like nothing had happened.

I spent the rest of the day doing lines of coke in any place where I could get privacy and by the the end of the day my mood was on a right down which was never good especially after doing drugs.
“Alex.” I heard someone say and I turned round and saw Jack which made me roll my eyes.
“What the fuck do you want now?” I asked and Jack shook his head.
“You know what, fuck you if you don’t want friend then that’s fine by me. Just don’t go around saying shit about me that’s all I ask.” Jack said as he walked off and that just my depressed mood even worse.
“So fucking stupid Alex.” I muttered to myself as I walked out of school but I didn’t head home and I knew that if I was home in a hours time then mum would start to worry and call me.
I pulled out my phone and called my dealers number and asked if he had any drugs which he did and I met up with him and got my drugs and paid him and then I went to a drug store and picked up some razors and then I went somewhere where I hoped nobody would find me.

I was full of drugs and my arm was bleeding badly and I knew I had loads of missed calls from mum and Eddie but I didn’t care I was just lead in this place I found and was looking up at the sky hoping death would just hurry up and take me away from this hell.
I felt really light headed and I sat up which was a bad move as i felt really sick.
“Alex.” I heard someone say and I looked up and saw Jack.
“Shit What have you done?” Jack asked as he picked up the packet which once had coke in and a some foil which had heroine in.
Jack looked at me and he looked really worried.
“Alex tell me what you have done!” Jack said more seriously as he knelt in front of me and I looked down.
“Leave me alone, you don’t want to be a friend of mine.” I said quietly.
“I can’t leave you, not like this. You need medical attention.” Jack said as he pulled his phone out and I put my hand out and put it on top of his which made Jack look at me confused.
“Don’t take me to hospital, just leave me here and pretend that you never saw me.” I said and I felt really sick so I threw up.
“I don’t give a shit, you are going to hospital.” Jack said as he pulled out his phone and he was talking on the phone when I forced myself to stand up and I walked away.

“Alex don’t walk away from this.” I heard Jack say but I kept on walking through these woods which I didn’t even know where it was and I carried on walking through the woods until I just collapsed and passed out.

Notes

Comments

I love this I can’t wait to see more and more!!

MeganLovesATL MeganLovesATL
7/24/18