Failure’s not flattering
Thanks to my sisters act last night I had to miss a day off school because she was t fit to look after mum or Hallie but at least was at school so I had one less thing to worry about and I didn’t trust her with mum either.
I was busy sorting the washing out when Ella showed her face groaning loudly as she walked in and she put the kettle on.
“Why the fuck are you home?” Ella asked as she sorted herself a coffee out.
“Because you was that much of a drunken mess that someone from school had to carry you home last night.” I said as I folded Hallie’s clothes since it was her washing day today.
“Yeah like that happened, I’m in My pjs dumbo so I can’t of gotten that drunk last night.” Ella said and I glared at her.
“Well it did. You’re only in your pjs because I undressed you and changed you and I stayed up for most of last night making sure you don’t choke on your bloody vomit!” I said loudly and Ella frowned at me.
I sighed loudly and stopped folding Hallies clothes and looked at Ella.
“El, your drinking is out of control again. I don’t know what happened to you before you came here but something must of happened to trigger this relapse. Is this why you came home? To the place where he did those awful things to us. Because you shouldn’t be here if it is El. We’re losing mum and dad walked out on us, I can’t lose anymore off my family El, I just can’t.” I said and Ella looked down and she looked back up at me.
“I don’t know Jack.” Ella said quietly.
“Do you want to talk about it? Mum is out of it in bed and Hallie is at school so we have all day, well until lunch then I have to wake Mum up and feed her and move her from her bed.” I said and Ella smiled but she shook her head.
“I can’t burden you with my problems Jack, you have enough going on without me adding to your problems.” Ella said and I shrugged my shoulders.
“Family is family at the end of the day. Thought we had each others backs but I guess not.” I said as I picked the washing basket up and walked out the kitchen and went to put Hallie’s washing away.
“Jack we do have each other’s backs.” Ella said as she followed me into Hallie’s room.
“No we don’t. If we had each other’s backs then you and Josh would of helped me with mum and Hallie when mum first got this. But instead when I told you, you said you can’t come back here again and Josh said I want fuck all to do with the crazy cow. So I had to stay here and look after mum, and I have done for the last 4 years.” I said and Ella sighed.
“I’m here now Jack. I can phone Josh and he can come as well. We can help you Jack, let us help you.” Ella said and I looked at her.
“Hallie doesn’t even know you or Josh. For the last 5 years you have been dead to me because both of you left before Hallie was born. I’m your little brother Ella, how could you just leave us in the middle of the night and not show up until 5 years later. I’ve been managing perfectly well without you and Josh, I’m pretty sure I can cope still.” I said as I went to walk off but Ella caught hold of my arm which made me look at her as she rolled my sleeves up.
“There’s nothing there. Only the scars he put on me.” I spat and pulled my arm out of her hold and I walked off and walked out the house.
I was sat on grass in the park by the lake where I take Hallie and mum used to love this park which made me sigh loudly as I looked down and felt a tear roll down my cheek.
“You okay?” I heard someone ask and I looked up and saw it was Alex.
“Now I’m starting to think that your stalking me.” I sniffed as Alex sat in front of me but was keep his distance.
“Well I do know where you live.” Alex said and I smiled sadly at him.
“Hey, want to talk to someone?” Alex asked and I looked down.
“I’m not talking to you, you’ll only tell everyone and then more hate will come flying my way.” I said as I wiped my nose in my sleeve.
“You can’t judge a person by the people they hang out with.” Alex said and I looked at him and he had this sorry look on his face.
“I’m guessing you’ve heard the stories about what my dad did to me and my family?” I asked and Alex shrugged his shoulders.
“Even if I did, I wasn’t even in town when he done whatever he had done so I’m fucking clueless.” Alex said and I smiled slightly at him.
“Look it’s obvious you have no friends and I am willing to be a friend to you if you want me to be a friend to you.” Alex said and I looked down.
“Give me your phone.” Alex said and I looked at him and frowned.
“Just give me your phone.” Alex said and I handed him my phone where it looked like he was doing something.
“If you ever need someone to talk too or you just need to vent everything out or want a shoulder to cry on then call me and I’ll answer.” Alex said as he handed me back my phone and I frowned at him.
“Why you doing this? I’m just the boy who is invisible to everyone.” I said and Alex smiled.
“Because I’ve been in a situation you’re in. Also your not invisible to me.” Alex said and he got up and walked off and I smiled slightly to myself and I saw that Ella had texted me saying she couldn’t cope with mum which made me sigh loudly and I got up and walked home.
I got to the house and mum was shouting loads of Arabic and I sighed loudly and I made my way inside where Ella rushed out of mums room.
“What the fuck did you do?” I asked as I pushed her out the way and I walked over to Mum and sat on her bed and lead next to her
“Mum it’s me, it’s Jack. It’s okay I’m here.” I said in Arabic as she just about managed to roll herself and she hugged my side which is something she hasn’t done for such a long time.
“It’s him.” Mum said quietly in Arabic and I looked at Ella who looked hurt.
“It’s Ella Mum, she’s your daughter and then there’s Josh as well.” I said in Arabic so mum can understand me since talking English has now completely been forgotten about which was a pain but I didn’t mind.
“No, it’s him. It’s the monster.” Mum said and I looked at Ella.
“Go and make us a cuppa.” I said and Ella nodded and she walked off.
“The monster has gone now.” I said quietly and I kissed the top of her head.
“Shell we go and sit outside and have some sun on our faces?” I asked and mum nodded and smiled which made me smiled and I kissed the top of her head again.
“Let’s get you dressed.” I said and I sat up and got mum dressed and in her wheelchair and I went outside with mum.
Hallie was home and was bonding with Ella by letting Ella give her a bath which was a first as Hallie never trusted anyone but me and mum.
It might of took Ella a lot longer to sort Hallie out than what I do but at the moment I was glad that Ella had come back and was helping, even with her drinking problem.
“Oh my god she is just a little cutie.” Ella said as she sat next to me on the sofa and she reached out for her mug of tea.
“Won’t be saying that when she throws a tantrum at you. Then she isn’t cute.” I said and Ella chuckled.
“Feel free too kill me, but I message Josh and told him you need help.” Ella said and I looked at her.
“I don’t need help. I’ve managed fine until you magically decided to show up.” I said and Ella sighed as she looked at me with big eyes.
“Jack listen to me as if I wasn’t your sister but as a nurse. Mum isn’t getting better, she is only going to get worse until she dies. Jack you are 17 years old you shouldn’t be caring for mum like you are. You should be out enjoying being a teenager, get drunk, get high and have fuck loads of sex. You shouldn’t be here looking after mum like you are. Things with mum are only going to get a hell of a lot harder Jack and when that happens you will need to drop out of school and you are a smart boy Jack. Don’t waste away your life.” Ella said and I looked down and sighed.
“I don’t know El, I can’t just abandon mum. I am all who she has and somewhere in her mind I’m the only one she remembers.” I said.
“And when mum goes, what’s going to happen to you and Hallie? You won’t be able to get a job because you haven’t got the grade and then Hallie will be taken into care.” Ella said and I stood up and walked off.
“Jack where you going?” Ella asked.
“I need to go for a walk. Keep an ear out for mum.” I said and all a caught hold of my arm which made me look at her.
“Don’t do nothing stupid Jack.” Ella said quietly and I smiled and walked off.
I was sat at the park on the swing gently swinging myself backwards and forwards and I heard the gate open and shut and someone walking over and sitting next to me.
“Looks like someone could do with a joint and a beer.” The person said and I looked and saw Alex.
“Yes to the joint and no to the beer.” I said and Alex passed me the joint over and I started to smoke it.
“And what’s wrong with beer?” Alex asked sounding drunk.
“My sister has a alcohol problem. So I stay away from the booze.” I said and Alex looked at me and I just looked at him.
“Jesus you even look fucked.” I said and Alex laughed.
“It’s the weekend, allowed to get fucked out your face.” Alex said.
“Hate to rain on your parade but today is Wednesday so it’s not the weekend.” I said and Alex groaned loudly.
“Fuck.” Alex said and I chuckled.
“Well my dad and step dad are gonna kill me.” Alex said and I looked at him.
“Yeah my parents are gay.” Alex said as he had some of his beer and threw the Can on the ground.
“Hey, my 5 year old sister with ‘retard’ problems plays here.” I said and Alex rolled his eyes at me.
“Don’t roll your eyes at me, pick that up.” I said.
“If I pick that up, I’ll fall flat on my face.” Alex said and I chuckled and I stood up and walked over and picked the Can up and put it in he bin.
“Well now you don’t have to worry.” I said and Alex smiled.
“Come on, let me walk you home otherwise I’ll worry that someone is going to rape you or something.” I said and Alex nodded which I was shocked at because I was expecting him to argue about it.
“Lead the way then.” I said and Alex smirked at me.
“That show you can check my ass out?” Alex asked and I just rolled my eyes at him.
“No, I don’t know where you live because unlike you I don’t stalk people.” I said and Alex groaned.
“Okay, I am not stalking you. I just happen to know where you live and happen to find you at the park most of the time.” Alex said as he linked his arm which mine which I ignored since Alex couldn’t even walk straight.
After many stops of either Alex n ending a loss or throwing up or to have a cigarette break I finally managed to get Alex home.
“Ah shit, someone is still up.” Alex said and someone cleared their throats from behind us so me and Alex turned round and looked at the person.
“No, I’ve just gotten home after Danny texted saying you wasn’t home and just finishing a surgery.” The man said and he looked at me.
“Who are you?” The man asked.
“I’m Jack. Jack Barakat, your son seems to enjoy stalking me.” I said and the man eyes widened a little.
“For the hundredth time, I’m not stalking you.” Alex said as he let go of my arm and he fell on the floor.
“You know where I live. Anyway I’m not arguing with a drunk person I have that on a regular basis and I also have family too look after. Hope the hangover isn’t to bad tommorow morning.” I said and walked off.
I got home and the house was quiet which made a change.
I walked in the sitting room where Ella was asleep with the sofa wrapped in her duvet and I smiled softly and quietly walked over to the lamp and turned it off and walked out the sitting room and I checked on Mum who was for once sound asleep so I quietly went upstairs.
I walked into my room and my tv was on which made me frown and I looked over to my bed and saw Hallie asleep in my bed which made me smile and I just climbed into bed since I had trackies on and Hallie sighed loudly and she woke up and looked at me.
“Jacky?” Hallie whispered with her voice thick with sleep.
“Yeah it’s me. Go back to sleep.” I said quietly as I messed with her hair as she slowly fell back asleep again and it wasn’t long afterwards I fell asleep as well.