Failure’s not flattering
Jake, Rudi and Flynn was going back to England so I was awake before Jack was to make sure that they had everything and so I could say goodbye to them.
I was busy sorting something out when I found something of Hallie’s and I sighed as I looked round and the house did feel strange and too quiet without her in the home.
“Can you understand why I need to keep myself busy.” Someone said and I looked up and saw Jack leaning on the counter.
“I thought you was sound asleep.” I said quietly as I cleared my throat and Jack walked over and caught hold of my hand.
“I woke up and I was alone in bed.” Jack said as I looked at him.
“It’s too quiet without her here isn’t it.” Jack said quietly and I nodded.
“How did you cope with looking after your mum and Hallie and your sister.” I asked and Jack sighed as I looked down.
“That’s a conversation to have when someone isn’t listening in.” Jack said as he stepped back.
“Hey give me a kiss first.” I said and gently pulled Jack towards me as he smiled and kissed me.
“We’ll talk later okay.” Jack whispered as he walked off and I looked up and saw Flynn walking over to me.
“You know, I never thought you would get over me.” Flynn said as he stood next to me and I chuckled.
“Don’t flatter yourself too much okay.” I scoffed and Flynn slapped my chest.
“Come on, I’m just as much as a pretty boy than Jack.” Flynn said and I sighed.
“Okay so say what you have to say.” I said and Flynn looked at me and smiled.
“He’s a good one Alex, please don’t fuck this amazing thing you have with Jack up. Also if you don’t want him then I’ll kindly take him from you.” Flynn said and I couldn’t help but chuckle.
“I don’t want to fuck us up Flynn, I’m hoping I don’t fuck nothing up. You wouldn’t be able to cope with Jack, he would raise his voice at you and you will shit yourself because that is a side of Jack you haven’t seen.” I said and Flynn smiled.
“I’m glad you’ve found him Alex.” Flynn said as he slapped my leg and walked off and I smiled to myself as I went outside for a cigarette.
After my cigarette I went upstairs and frowned when I saw Jack walking from the shower with just a towel round him.
“Babe, it’s like 6.30 in the morning. Why the fuck are you up and getting dressed?” I said and Jack jumped and spun round to look at me.
“Well I woke up because I wanted to have cuddles but you weren’t in bed so I came downstairs found you and then I came up here to have a shower and then while you and your dad take them 3 back to the airport I’m going to go and see Hallie.” Jack said and I smiled.
“You know dad is working today and Danny is the poor soul taking them.” I said.
“So is your dad in charge of working with Hallie today or am I trusting some other doctor to look after my sister?” Jack asked and I sighed.
“Babe you know dad or Danny can’t always be with Hallie and that you need to trust other doctors with her.” I said and Jack looked down and nodded.
“I know. I just don’t want other people to fuck everything up for her.” Jack whispered.
“Trust me the doctors on pediatrics are really good. You can trust them Jack.” I said quietly as I rested my hand on his face.
“You’ve just got to trust them.” I whispered as I lent forward and kissed Jack softly which he returned.
“Go and kick some butt up the hospital and once we’ve dropped them lot at the airport I’ll come and see you at the hospital.” I said quietly and Jack nodded.
“I’m starting school again in September.” Jack said and I smiled at him.
“Babe that’s amazing.” I said and Jack smiled but he was holding something back.
“It’s online school Alex, I want to be at home for Hallie.” Jack said as he looked down and I know he was scared of my next lot of actions.
“I can understand that okay, it’s nearly September and Hallie will probably still be in hospital and you don’t want to go back to that shit hole anyway.” I said and Jack smiled as he looked at me and the fear was slowly going out of his eyes.
“Right, I need to go but I will see you later okay. No trouble within or outside of the hospital.” I said and Jack smiled.
“Do you have any money on you? I want to get some bits but I have no money.” Jack said quietly as he looked down.
“Yes I have money on me, don’t have to be so scared asking me for something.” I said softly as I walked over to my draws and got some money for Jack and put it on the bed.
“Right I’m going okay. Just take it easy okay, I’ve got my phone on me if you need me.” I said quietly and Jack nodded as he looked at me.
“Love you.” Jack whispered and I smiled at him and kissed him softly.
“Love you too.” I whispered and kissed Jack again and I walked out the room and met everyone downstairs.
“You guys good to go?” Danny asked and I nodded and looked at Jake, Rudi and Flynn and they nodded as well.
“Let’s get going then.” Danny said and we all got in the car and went to the airport.
The drive to the airport went too quickly and I said my goodbyes to everyone and at the same time I felt a little bit of me die as those 3 have always been there for me and saying goodbye was always a hard thing for me to do.
“Where do you want to go now?” Danny asked as I stared out the window.
“The hospital.” I said quietly as I looked down and messed with the packet of cigarettes which I really wanted to smoke.
“As long as you have the window open wide and you don’t tell your father I allowed you to smoke in the car then you can have a cigarette.” Danny said and I smiled sadly at him.
“I can wait until I get out the car.” I said and Danny put his hand on my knee.
“You’ve got Jack and he’ll support you now. I know you’ll miss the boys but you can always speak to them in skype and message each other.” Danny said and I looked at him and nodded.
“I just didn’t realise how much I missed them until they was gone.” I said quietly and Danny chuckled.
“Have the bloody cigarette Alex.” Danny said and I chuckled as I pulled my cigarette out the packet and started to smoke it.
We got to the hospital and Danny looked at me.
“Go find your man.” Danny said and I smiled and got out the car and went to find Jack.
I found Jack sat on her bed since Hallie was awake.
Jack looked up and smiled when he saw me and he said something to Hallie and he got off the bed and walked out the room and over to me.
“How is she?” I asked and Jack smiled as he looked at Hallie who was looking at a book which Jack must of gotten her.
“She’s responding well to the antibiotics and that her heart is doing good and doesn’t seem to be affected by it.” Jack said happily which made me smile as it was nice to see Jack be a bit happy.
“That’s good.” I said and Jack frowned at me.
“Does someone need a Hallie cuddle? Because you look like you could do with a Hallie cuddle.” Jack said and I nodded.
“But first I want a hug from you.” Jack said and he pulled me into a hug which I returned and I rested my head on his shoulder and breathed in his scent.
“You okay baby?” Jack asked softly and I nodded.
“Yeah I’m okay.” I said and I pulled back and Jack frowned at me.
“Go and have a Hallie cuddle. She’s missed you and wants a Alex cuddle.” Jack said and I nodded and walked into Hallie room.
“Alex.” Hallie said happily and I smiled and walked over to her bed and sat on it.
“Hey trouble, you have had Jack worrying a lot.” I said and Hallie cuddled into my side and I kissed the top of her head.
“Al.” Hallie said and I looked at her since she was the only one who didn’t call me Lex and I quite liked it.
“Yeah sweetheart.” I said as I looked at her.
“Have they fix my heart?” Hallie asked and I smiled at her.
“Yeah, Danny managed to fix your heart.” I said and Hallie frowned as she pulled her top down and pointed to her scar on her chest.
“Jacky has these.” Hallie said as she pointed to her scar.
“I know he does.” I said and Hallie looked at me.
“Jacky okay?” Hallie asked and I nodded as I pulled her top up.
“Yeah Jacky is okay, I’ve been making sure he does nothing stupid.” I said and Hallie moved and cuddled into my side and I gave her teddy.
Jack walked back into the room and he smiled at me and Hallie.
“So yeah, I’m trapped by a sleeping 5 year old.” I said and Jack chuckled walked over and sat on the chair and caught hold of my hand.
“So you wanted to know how I coped with everything.” Jack said and I smiled at him which Jack returned.
“It was tough being mums career, looking after Hallie and making sure that Ella never choked on her own vomit after passing out. It was hard but I managed because I needed to make sure that my family was okay. I coped because I needed to cope. I had money from all the compensation and all that sit I was given from the courts and I had money to help with mum and Hallie. It was really hard and I would never wish it in anyone.” Jack said quietly.
“I actually smoked a lot a weed to cope and to help me sleep at night but I never actually fell into a deep sleep because of the fear of mum doing something she shouldn’t be doing. While Hallie was younger I actually slept downstairs so I could hear mum better.” Jack said and he looked at me.
“It was so hard Alex, I don’t know how I didn’t kill myself or mum. I don’t understand I managed to cope with everything.” Jack whispered and I smiled at him and gently pulled him over to me where I sat up the best I could and kissed Jack which he returned.
“I am so proud to have you as my boyfriend.” I said and Jack smiled as he looked at Hallie and he sighed loudly as he moved some hair from her face.
“I love Hallie I really do, but if your dad and Danny can adopt her then I would feel like the weight on my shoulders would just disappear. I could worry about myself and what I’m going to do with my life and be there for you and focus on our relationship and not have to always worry about Hallie.” Jack said quietly and I smiled at him.
“Dad and Danny will have her and they will give her every ounce of love they can give her.” I said and Jack looked at me and smiled.
“I know, which is why I want them to look after her and nobody else. I know they will love her and show her the world and make her into a strong independent young lady she will be when she’s older.” Jack said and I felt this sense of proud inside.
I let go of Jacks hand and quietly moved away from Hallie and got of her bed and walked over to Jack and pulled him into a hug which Jack returned.
“I am insanely proud to call you mine.” I whispered in Jacks ear and I lent back and kissed Jack which he returned.
“I need to go home, you staying here until Hallie wakes up?” I asked and Jack looked at Hallie with a smile.
“I’m staying here until she wakes up.” Jack said and he looked at me.
“Okay, just text me when you’re leaving and I’ll meet you somewhere.” I said and Jack smiled and I lent down and kissed Jack which he returned.
“I’ll see you later.” I said as I walked off and went home.
I walked home and found dad and Danny was both home.
“Well this is rare.” I said which made both dad and Danny jump and look at me.
“Thought you would be with Jack.” Dad said as he walked into the sitting room and I followed him and sat on the sofa.
“He’s spending sometime with Hallie. But he’s going to let me know when he leaving so I can walk him home.” I said and dad smiled at me as Danny cuddled into dads side which made me smile.
“The house is quiet without the lads.” Dad said and I looked down and looked at my phone and saw that Jake had message me saying he was home and that he missed me already and that he was glad I have found Jack and wished us all the best which made me smile.
“Feels strange only having 3 of us in the house.” Danny said and I chuckled quietly.
“How did your meeting get in about adopting Hallie?” I asked and they both looked at each other and a huge smile came onto their faces.
“Well we have to sign the papers and wait for Hallie to get better but we’re adopting her Lex.” Dad said and I couldn’t help but smile at them.
“Congrats guys, I sure Jack is going to be really pleased about this.” I said.
“When Jack gets back how about we all go out for a meal.” Danny said and I nodded.
“Yeah I’m sure Jack will be down for that.” I said and my phone went off and I looked and saw it was Jack saying he was walking home.
“I’m just going to get Jack and he’ll probably want a shower and then after that we can have dinner.” I said and dad and Danny nodded as I stood up and went to get Jack.
I met Jack by this park which was by the hospital.
“So my dad and Danny are taking us out for dinner tonight.” I said and Jack looked at me confused.
“It’s for a good reason, but I’m not saying anything I’m going to let them tell you.” I said as I kissed Jack and caught hold of his hand and started to walk home.
“So this meal, What’s the reason for it?” Jack said as we gently swung our hands between us.
“Now I’m not ruining this for you, but I can tell you this. You will fucking love it.”I said and Jack just frowned at me.
“I promise you will love this.” I said quietly which made Jack smile.
“Okay I’ll stop asking questions about it then.” Jack said and I smiled and kissed the side of his head.
“How was Hallie after I left?” I asked Jack sighed which wasn’t normally a good thing.
“She’s okay, she has a bit of a temperature so their keep an close eye on her Incase it is a infection but I’m just hoping it isn’t one. Because if it is then Hallie may have to go on the transplant list if the infection is too bad. Then I have to worry about the insurance and wether they will pay out or not because if not then I’m royally fucked.” Jack said as he looked down and I gently pulled him towards me and put my hand in his back pocket as Jack did the same to me.
“Hallie will be okay, she’s a little fighter and she’ll come out of this. As for the insurance then Hallie is on dads and Danny’s so she’ll also be okay. Yes the bill is going to be huge but Hallie is so worth it.” I said which made Jack smile.
“Anyway, you and Hallie are both worth it.” I said quietly as we walked up the driveway and walked inside.
“I’m going to have a shower.” Jack said quietly as he walked up the stairs and I watched him with a smile on my face as I headed towards the kitchen where dad and Danny was messing around.
“Don’t Dan.” Dad pouted as Danny pulled dad towards him and kissed him.
I chuckled quietly to myself as I walked out the kitchen and went upstairs to annoy Jack.
“So has Alex told you the good news?” Dad asked and Jack looked up as he shook his head and he swallowed the mouthful of food he had in his mouth.
“No he hasn’t said anything.” Jack said as he looked at me.
“Technically I did but I said you’ll like what dad and Danny will have to say to you.” I said which made Jack frown at me.
“Well we sat in the meetings with the social worker and done all the paperwork while both dying after working a fucking awful shift.” Dad said and I chuckled because normally after a shift like that both dad and Danny would crash for a few hours.
“Okay, so what was the outcome of it?” Jack asked as he sat forwards.
“We’re allowed to adopt Hallie. We managed to but our case forward and say what we can offer Hallie and the social worker really liked everything and after a long wait said we was allowed to adopt her.” Dad said and Jack smiled widely.
“Seriously! No offence but I never thought you guys would be allowed to adopt her and now that you have oh my god, I’m so happy.” Jack said and I couldn’t help but smile for Jack.
“You had no faith in us?” Danny asked and Jack chuckled.
“Of course I did, it’s just that with everything which is going on with Hallie I didn’t even think that the social worker would even think about allowing you guys to adopt her.” Jack said and I looked at dad who was smiling at Jack.
We carried on eating making small talk.
“I’m going to go back to school in September.” Jack said as he looked at me for support as he was still unsure about how dad and Danny will take things so I put my hand on his leg and gave it a support squeeze.
“That’s amazing Jack. You going back to school or online school?” Danny asked.
“I was going to do online school, but now Hallie has you guys I think it’s time to go back to school.” Jack said and I smiled at him as this was news to me.
Dad and Danny both smiled at Jack like proud parents.
We was having a good time until someone’s pager went off and both dad and Danny looked and Danny sighed loudly.
“Why is it when I’m spending time with my family someone decides to have a serious cardio problem and I’m always on call?” Danny said which made us chuckle.
“Because it’s the joys of being surgeons.” Dad said as he looked at Danny with a smile which Danny returned.
“Anyway, no wild parties you three otherwise you’ll make me very jealous.” Danny said as he stood up and kissed dad and walked off and dad just watched him walked out the restaurant.
We finished our meal and dad paid and we went home to watch films.
Jack had fallen asleep using my lap as a pillow as I just messed with his hair and I looked at dad who was very focused on this film we was watching.
“You know, you should really get down on one knee.” I said and dad looked at me.
“You do realize what we both do for a living?” Dad said and I chuckled.
“I know very well what you two do. But honestly you two have been together for so long and you both act like a married couple and I know I gave you both a very hard time when you first got together but I honestly do really like Danny and I do think of him as another dad and I do love him like he is my other parent. I have Jack and you two have just gain a beautiful daughter. You can finally have dream you wanted with mum but could never have but you can have it with Danny.” I said and Dad smiled at me which I returned.
“I don’t know Lex.” Dad said quietly.
“Look you have the man of your dreams at your feet. A man who loves his job just as much as you do and you both act like school girls when you are around each other.” I said and dad sighed.
“And I reckon he’s dying to be a Gaskarth Anyway. I bet he even fangirls about it or even get off at the fact he could be a Gaskarth.” I said and dad rolled his eyes at me.
“You are disgusting and it’s getting late so you should be in bed as you have a busy day tomorrow.” Dad said as he stood up.
“Night dad.” I said and dad just grunted as he went up the stairs and I looked at Jack and kissed him softly which made Jack sigh loudly as he moved.
“Babe, let’s go to bed.” I said quietly.
“Staying here.” Jack mumbled sleepily which made me smile.
“But I want cuddles though.” I said as I nuzzled Jack’s hair which made Jack sleepily push my face away from his.
“Leave me alone.” Jack mumbled and I gently moved and Jack led down and I quietly climbed over him and I went upstairs and grabbed a pillow and the duvet and went downstairs and climbed back over Jack and gently lifted his head as I put the pillow under his head and I took my top off and got the duvet sorted so it was going to be okay for the night and I lead down and cuddled into Jack’s back and slowly fell asleep.