Failure’s not flattering
I woke up and I was alone in bed which made me frown because I remember Alex coming to bed last night so I sat up and went downstairs.
I walked into the kitchen and saw everyone sat round the island.
“How is she?” I asked and everyone stopped and looked at me and I didn’t like the look on their faces.
“How is Hallie?” I asked more seriously and Alex looked at his dad and everyone stayed quiet.
“Someone fucking tell me how my sister is.” I said and Alex got up and walked over to me and I stepped back a little.
“Just fucking tell me, is she okay or do I need to go to the hospital.” I said a bit of panic going through me.
“Hallie is okay Jack. Danny managed to fix the mummer, she going to be fine.” Alex said quietly and I took a deep breath.
“There was no complications with the surgery.” Alex said and I nodded and turned around and went upstairs to get dressed.
I was just pulling on a hoodie when I felt a pair of arms wrap round me.
“Let me go please, I need to see if Hallie is okay.” I said quietly and the person kissed the back of my neck.
“You need to take a big deep breath and calm down a little.” The person said who was actually Alex.
“I am calm.” I said quietly and Alex spun me around so he can look at me.
“Just wait for me to get dressed and then we can go to the hospital.” Alex said softly and I nodded as Alex walked round me and I just watched him get dressed.
“Have they said if the social worker is with Hallie?” I asked and Alex looked at me.
“Once we get to the hospital and Danny has handed over what he has done and he has gotten some rest then him and dad are going to have a meeting about Hallie.” Alex said as he walked over to me.
“I can’t have her taken away.” I whispered and Alex cupped my face in his hand.
“She won’t be okay. Dad and Dan have this and they will win and get Hallie home.” Alex said softly and I smiled at him as Alex lent forward and kissed me softly which I returned.
“Let’s go see Hallie.” Alex said quietly and I nodded as Alex slapped my ass playfully and I rolled my eyes at him as I turned round and we walked to the hospital.
We got to the hospital and went straight to Pediatrics.
“Where’s Hallie?” I asked as I looked round the ward.
“Jack what you doing?” A voice said and I turned round and saw Danny.
“Where is Hallie?” I asked and Danny smiled at me.
“She’s in ICU at the moment.” Danny said and I frowned at him.
“It’s fine Jack, it’s normal for children to still be in the ICU after a big operation.” Danny said and I nodded and Danny lead me to the ICU where Alex was waiting for me and he smiled at me as Danny showed us to where Hallie was.
“Okay, so last night as you know I operated on Hallie’s heart. It was a long operation but I’ve managed to fix it.” Danny said and I frowned at him.
“I’m sensing a but here.” I said and Danny took a deep breath.
“Because of Hallie having Down syndrome it means she has a high risk of infections like anyone who has had this surgery but more so with Down syndrome people.” Danny said and I nodded.
“But she’s going to be okay. For the time being as long as she gets no infections she’s going to be okay?” I asked and Danny smiled as he nodded.
“Yeah she’s going to be okay Jack.” Danny said and I walked over to him and pulled Danny into a hug.
“Thanks Danny.” I said quietly and Danny returned my hug.
“It’s okay Jack.” Danny said quietly as I let him go and stepped back and smiled at me which I returned.
“Go and see her. I’m sure she’s had enough of hearing me through the surgery and I’m sure she would love to hear your voice.” Danny said and I nodded and I looked through the window and I smiled at Hallie and I walked in the room.
I was holding Hallie’s hand when someone walked into the room and I looked up and saw Alex which made me smile.
“So Danny is pleased with how the surgery went.” Alex said as he sat on my lap handing me a coffee.
“Yeah, just hope she doesn’t get any infections because she does like getting infections. Especially chest infections.” I said and Alex smiled at me.
“She is going to be fine because she has the best big brother in the world and she also has 2 of the best surgeons in the world on her side.” Alex said and I smiled as I looked at Hallie.
“I have to sort of the lads out and I am up to my eye balls in homework. So if I leave you here are you going to be okay?” Alex asked and I nodded.
“Yeah I’m going to be okay. I have Hallie to keep an eye on.” I said and Alex smiled.
“Hey, I was wondering if you are thinking about starting school again.” Alex said as he stood up and I looked at him.
“I know me and dad keep on annoying you about going back to school, but you are being wasted sitting around at home all day. You’ve got a brain and you are just wasting it by doing nothing. You have a bright future in whatever you want to do in life and to do whatever you want to do with your life you need to go to school.” Alex said and I smiled at him as I stood up and walked over to him and kissed him.
“I’m going back.” I said quietly and Alex smiled at me and kissed me again.
Like with very little bit of happiness I seem to have in my life something bad had to happen.
“She was fucking stable! How the fuck did this happen!?” I said loudly to anyone around me.
“Sometimes things don’t go to plan and unluckily for you things haven’t gone to plan.” Danny said I shook my head.
“Well no fucking shit Sherlock. So what are you going to do about it?” I said and Alex caught hold of my hand.
“We’re going to put her on antibiotics and wait to see if they work on the infection.” Danny said and I sighed.
“What if that doesn’t work? What’s the next plan of action.” I said seriously.
“Depending on the damage of her heart but if the infection gets too much then we might have to think of a transplant.” Danny said and I felt the colour drain from my face as I looked round at Hallie and then looked at Danny.
“Do whatever you can to save her.” I said seriously and walked off.
I was busy pacing outside the hospital when I crashed into someone.
“I’m sorry.” I said and looked up and saw it was Alex.
“Need a cigarette?” Alex asked and I nodded as I took a cigarette from the packet and started to smoke it but failing miserably.
“She’s too young to be going through this. She’s lost her mum and she’s had heart surgery and now she has a infection and if that doesn’t work then she has to have a transplant. I mean what the fuck has she done to deserve all of this. She’s so innocent to the world, why couldn’t this be happening to me. I’ve got my life and I’ve done things but she hasn’t.” I said as I started to cry and Alex took the cigarette from me and pulled me into a hug and held me tightly.
“You also lost your mum as well Jack. Yes Hallie is young and she is innocent but she will have her whole life ahead of her and she won’t have the memories of a terrible childhood like you do. Hallie will grow up and remember nothing but happiness. Never wish what is happening to Hallie on you. You still have the world to see as well, you need to think about yourself here Jacky.” Alex said and I smiled as I pulled back and looked at Alex who gently wiped the tears from my eyes.
“I’m scared Lex.” I whispered as I sniffed and looked down.
“I know you are baby.” Alex said quietly and pulled me into hug again and held me close.
Alex took me home where I stay sat on the sofa looking at my phone every 2 minutes to see if someone has got hold of me for Hallie.
“He doesn’t concern you Jake!” Alex said loudly from the kitchen.
“Well he’s under this roof, we are all worried about him and Hallie but him mopping around the place.” Jake said and I looked down and picked at the sofa.
“He is worried about his very ill sister! Christ you would be the same if it was Billie.” Alex said loudly.
I sighed and stood up and walked out to the kitchen.
“Yes I would be the same as Jack but I would also rely on the help I can get but Jack chooses not to take the help he has been offered.” Jake said.
“Jack didn’t get the help he needed like you are getting with your dad and for Billie. You don’t get Jack like how I get Jack.” Alex said seriously.
“Don’t go judging me when you don’t even know me.” I said quietly and I was surprised that they even heard me.
“Babe, I’m sorry you heard this.” Alex said and I shook my head.
“Until you understand the situations I have been put through you do not get to tell me that I can not mope around my home and sitting by my phone waiting for an update on my sister.” I said and Alex looked at me and smile when I said this was my home and Jake didn’t look happy.
“Exactly Jack you understand, you understand that you need help just because you never got it with your mum doesn’t mean you still can’t the help you need for Hallie.” Jake said and I looked at him.
“You do not bring my mother into this.” I growled and Alex stood in front of me.
“Jake go upstairs and I’ll be with you in a minute. Jack go outside and cool down.” Alex said calmly and Jake walked off and I just watched him walk off.
“Babe.” Alex said as he turned round to look at me and I shook my head.
“I’m going for a walk okay.” I said but you could tell I was about to cry.
“Okay, you’ve got your phone with you haven’t you.” Alex said sounding worried as I nodded and looked down but Alex made me look up at him.
“Don’t do nothing stupid okay. I’m always a phone call away if you want me.” Alex said softly and I nodded and Alex kissed my forehead and let me go and I walked out the house.
I managed to find myself at my old home and I was stood in the garden looking at it thinking about despite all the bad times weigh over the good times I missed it here.
I walked towards the front door and unlocked the door and went inside and went straight to mum room and I looked round the empty room which made my heart sink a little as Alex and Danny really did keep to their word and got rid of everything.
I moved from mums room too the sitting room and again it was likes mums room but there was a box which hadn’t been taken away and I walked over to it and sat on the floor where there was a note.
‘I didn’t have the heart to throw what’s in the box out, so I’m leaving that for you too do. A x’.
I smiled slightly too myself as I looked through the box and found that it was stuff from Lebanon and from holidays which I couldn’t even remember.
I heard a floor board creek and I quickly stood up and turned round when I found Ella and Alex watching me.
“Why you here?” I asked and looked at Ella.
“I was doing my daily visit to the house when I found the front door unlocked, I gathered that you was in here and so I came in to see you.” Ella said and I nodded and looked at Alex.
“I needed to check if you was okay.” Alex said quietly and I nodded and turned round and looked at the box.
“How about I go and get everyone a coffee and you two talk. You e got a lot to talk about.” Alex said as he walked over to me and caught hold of my hand which made me look at him.
“She’s changed okay, but it’s your choice what you tell her.” Alex whispered and I nodded as I felt Alex kiss my cheek and walk out the room and Ella walked over and stood next to me.
“The boys have done a good job on clearing the house out.” Ella said as we both sat opposite side of the box.
“Yeah, forgotten how big the house was without all of mums junk around.” I said quietly as I picked up this toy camel.
“That’s Josh’s toy.” Ella whispered and I looked at her.
“I want nothing of his, did you want this?” I said and Ella nodded since Josh and Ella was very close before stuff happened.
“How’s Hallie? Can I come and see her soon?” Ella asked and I looked down.
“Jacky what’s been happening?” Ella asked seriously.
“Alex’s step dad found a murmur on Hallie’s heart. He operated on it and now she has a really bad infection that could damage her heart which means she will have to go on the transplant list and wait for a new heart.” I whispered and Ella caught hold of my hand which made me look at her.
“Can I see her please Jack? I want to see my little sister.” Ella said and I nodded.
“But I need to know if you are sober or not.” I said and Ella smiled proudly at me.
“I’ve got some news for you.” Ella said and I frowned at her as she got her phone out.
“I am currently nearly 5 months sober and I have met someone and I’ve been with them for 9 months and in 7 months time you are going to be promoted up to Uncle Jack.” Ella said and I looked at her confused.
“Hang on, your pregnant?” I asked confusion written all over my face which made Ella chuckle as she showed me the picture on her phone.
“Yeah, I know I haven’t been here for you Jack and I understand why you shut me out of everything to do with you and Hallie but I’ve never been 5 months sober have I?” Ella said and I thought about it and shook my head.
“You’ve never made it past 60 days.” I whispered as I looked at Ella and you could see she had this glow about her.
“I’m getting better so I can be here for you, Hallie and for baby and for my boyfriend.” Ella said and I smiled at her.
“So this boyfriend of yours, do I need to be having words with him?” I said and Ella chuckled as she shook her head.
“Well if you wants words with my boyfriend then I want to have words with yours.” Ella said and frowned at her.
“I know Jacky and I’m happy that you’ve found someone that understands everything and knows how much of a bloody locked box you are.” Ella said and I chuckled as I looked down.
“He’s amazing Ella, he’s been so support through everything and I don’t know what I would do without him.” I said quietly as I looked back up at Ella who was smiling at me.
“I can see how happy he makes you and how much he cares. You’ve got yourself a good little egg there Jack.” Ella said and someone cleared their throats which made us jump and look where Alex was standing there with coffee.
“I have coffee, also a tea for the pregnant lady.” Alex said and I frowned at him.
“You knew?” I asked and Alex shrugged his shoulders at me.
“I knew you wouldn’t want to talk to me so I met up with Alex and told him everything. He sort of told me that you would be here hence why I’m here.” Ella said and I rolled my eyes and smiled at the same time.
“You bastards the pair of you.” I said and Alex sat next to me.
“To answer your question about earlier. I would like to have you back in mine and Hallie’s life. I think Hallie would also like to be Aunty Hallie and have a actual baby to help look after.” I said and Ella smiled and Alex put his hand on my knee which made me look at him and frown and then I realised what Alex was trying to silently to say.
“Hey, so Hallie is in hospital so I was wondering if you wanted to see her. I want her to know that she has her sister back and that you’re not the drunk she remembers you by.” I said and Ella face just lite up which made me smile.
“Jacky yes!” Ella said happily.
“Okay it won’t be just yet as she’s still really poorly and everything but once she’s better you can see her.” I said and Ella nodded.
My phone went off and it was Danny saying that at the moment Hallie was responding well to the treatment which made me smile.
“The boyfriend is ready to pick me up. Alex has given me your number so I’ll message you or you message me when Hallie is up for visitors.” Ella said as she stood up and walked off and I looked at Alex and slapped his chest which made Alex chuckle.
“You asshole.” I said quietly as I stood up and Alex did the same.
“You think that now but you actually love me for it.” Alex said and I couldn’t help but smile as I kissed Alex.
“That is very true.” I said quietly and I looked at the box.
“So Hallie is stable and I’m bushed so I’m going to go home and crash.” I said and Alex smiled at me.
Alex walked over and picked the box up and he smiled at me.
“Let’s go home.” Alex said and I nodded and we went home.
“So did I do a good thing about getting into contact with Ella?” Alex asked as he sat on the bed and picked a picture up and looked at it.
“How did you get her number?” I asked as I looked at him.
“When you mum was alive and Ella was a right mess, I found her phone and I looked up her number and saved it on my phone. I kept it for a couple of weeks debating on what to do. I managed to find her while I was going to school and I wanted to help her so I did with dads help and we managed to get her into rehab. I said to her that if she was to ever see you and Hallie again then she needed to be sober for at least 60 days. I wanted to make sure that Ella could make it to 60 days before coming back into your life again. I didn’t think she could do it but she proved me wrong. I want her to be part of your life Jack.” Alex said and he looked at me and I smiled at him.
“Why didn’t you tell me? I mean yeah if she stays sober and all that I’m glad to have her back in my life.” I said and Alex sighed.
“I was scared to tell you.” Alex said quietly and I frowned at him as Alex looked up.
“I’m not a scary person Alex. I thought I could trust you.” I said and Alex put his hands on top of mine.
“I wasn’t saying it as if you was a scary person because I know you aren’t scary in the slightest. I meant it as I was scared to tell you because I was scared that you would leave me. You are a strong minded person and you ha e shown everyone how capable you are to make choices and they are normally the right choices to make especially when it comes to Hallie. You can trust me Jack.” Alex said and I looked down and sighed.
“Please say I made the right choice this time.” Alex said quietly and I pulled my hands away from his and put the stuff back in the box and moved the box onto the floor and looked back up to Alex who was looking down and had the look of guilt in his face.
“Lex.” I said softly and Alex looked at me.
“You made the right choice. I can see that Ella is in a happier time in her life, she has her boyfriend and she has the baby to look forward to have. My sister is back to how I remember her when I was younger.” I said and Alex smiled at me as I moved forward and kissed Alex which he returned.
We pulled back and Alex looked at me and looked down.
“Hey what’s wrong?” I asked as I made Alex look at me.
“I thought you would hate me for what I did.” Alex said quietly and I shook my head.
“ I couldn’t hate you for what you did.” I whispered as I kissed Alex again but a bit more harder than before and I gently pushed Alex onto his back and I gently pulled at Alex’s top and he got the hint and sat up and pulled his top off and looked at me.
“You sure?” Alex asked and I nodded as Alex pulled my top off and pushed me onto my back which made me smile as Alex kissed down my chest and marking me.
I heard someone knock on the door and I sighed loudly and sat up and looked over Alex’s body and saw his dad.
“What?” I said sleepily as I lead back down and cuddled into Alex’s back as I heard the person walked into the room and sat on the bed ignoring the mess me and Alex had made.
“So me and Danny have just gotten back from the meeting with the social worker.” Alex’s dad said.
“How did it go?” I asked sleepily.
“It went really well Jack. We’ve got to have a few more meetings and wait for Hallie to get a bit better and then we have paperwork and then Hallie will be adopted by us.” Alex’s dad said and I smiled but all I could do was give him the thumbs up because I was so tired which made Alex’s dad chuckle.
“I’ve see you two have been busy so I will leave you alone.” Alex’s dad said and I nodded.
“Thanks for everything.” I mumbled.
“It’s okay Jack. Have a good night.” Alex’s dad said as he walked out the room shutting the door behind him.