Failure’s not flattering
“Hallie don’t do that.” I said as Jack had left me and Jake in charge of Hallie which I was surprised about but at least he wasn’t trusting Asher and I think Asher would just kill Hallie.
“So me and Jack was having a moment last night.” I said out of the blue while Hallie was playing in the sitting room making a right mess and I knew that Jake would listen to me more than the others since he’s been my best friend since we was little.
“Oh god don’t say you two was at it.” Jake said as he had started to eat an apple.
“Nope, but if Asher didn’t walk in and made himself comfy on the bed then we could of been.” I said and Jake rolled his eyes.
“Fucking asshole.” Jake said as he rolled his eyes.
“Not that we’ve gotten that far in the relationship yet but last night really felt like he was ready to take things to the next level. Then Asher came in and really ruined the fucking mood.” I said and Jake chuckled.
“He’s a bit of an ass.” Jake said.
“Who? My boyfriend or Asher?” I asked.
“Asher.” Jake said.
“Yeah but he grows on you.” I said and Jake chuckled.
“I’m not meaning this in a harsh way or anything but I’m just being completely honest here. But what the fuck do you see in Jack? I mean yeah he’s a nice guy and all that but he’s timid and within himself. Not the sort of person you normal go for.” Jake said and I looked at him and smiled.
“He’s different from everyone else. Yeah he’s not what I would normally go for but I’m so happy that I’ve found him Jake. Yeah I have to take things slowly with him but at the end of the day for me is to make sure he trusts me and at the moment he’s slowly trusting me.” I said and Jake smiled.
“Alex Gaskarth what is happening to you.” Jake chuckled and I couldn’t help but smile as my heart just fluttered just thinking about Jack.
“I think I love him Jake. Like I could see myself growing up and living my life with him.” I said and Jake looked at me.
“Jesus Christ he really has changed you.” Jake said as he rested his hand on his face.
“I feel like I’ve found him at the right time before I lost myself again.” I said quietly and looked down.
“Why didn’t you talk to me dumbass, I might be god knows how many miles away but it doesn’t mean that I’m not here for you. I’m always here for you.” Jake said and he walked round the island and pulled me into a hug which I returned.
“He has my blessing to date you.” Jake said and I looked at him and he was looking at me seriously which made me start to laugh.
“Surely that’s the conversation dad should be having with Jack.” I said and Jake chuckled.
I was going to say something but Hallie ran out to the kitchen and literally ran into my legs which really hurt.
“Play Lex.” Hallie said and I smiled.
“Play with Jake. He loves it when you put make up on him.” I said and Jake just glared at me as Hallie grabbed hold of his hand and dragged him to the sitting room which made me chuckle.
“Your sister is a bloody pain in the ass.” Jake said as he wiped the make up on his face and Jack chuckled.
“So glad there’s somebody else who can suffer from this and it not being me.” Jack said as he stood next to me and I wrapped my arm round his waist.
“Which is why I’m going to ask Danny to look after Hallie tonight.” I said and Jack looked at me and frowned.
“Why?” Jack asked sounding confused.
“Because me and you are going to go out and have dinner and just have some time with you and me without some asshole trying to get into bed with us.” I said and Jack looked at me shocked.
“But why?” Jack asked still really confused.
“Because you need a break and since we haven’t had a date yet I thought it would be a nice thing.” I said and Jack smiled as he lent forward and kissed me which I returned.
“Christ you two make me sick.” Rudi said and I looked at him.
“Can say exactly the same about you and Johanna. At least me and Jack aren’t always snogging.” I said and Jack was really confused with that word as sometime British words will flow out our mouths and Jack will not understand what it means.
“But the sex is good.” Rudi said and I chuckled and rolled my eyes.
“And we’re not talking about anyone’s relationship. You guys just have to suffer for the next 2 weeks as you’re stuck in my house and Jack lives here as well.” I said and looked at Jack who smiled at me and Hallie came running out.
Jack just looked at Hallie and I peered round him and Hallie had been sick which made me gag loudly.
“Okay don’t you be sick as well.” Jack as he looked at me.
I got up and ran over to the sink and threw up.
“Think it’s too late for that.” Flynn said and I stuck my middle finger up at him.
“Please say you weren’t sick on the sofa or that expensive rug.” Jack said and I don’t know what Hallie’s answer was but Jack just sighed.
“I’m just going to give Hallie a bath and then I’ll clean the sick up.” Jack said and I stuck my thumb up to him and nodded as I got myself a glass of water and walked back over to the island and sat down.
“Well someone isn’t kid ready.” Jake chuckled.
“I’m 17, not even thinking about kids right now.” I said as I rested my head on the work surface.
Jack walked back and he rested his hand on my back which made me look at him.
“You okay?” Jack asked softly as I looked up and saw Jack didn’t have his top on and I quickly glanced over and saw Flynn and Rudi stare at Jack.
I looked back at Jack and smiled at him.
“I’m fine babe. How’s Hallie?” I asked and Jack smiled.
“She’s in the bath so I need to get back to her.” Jack said softly and I smiled and Jack lent down and kissed me and he gagged playfully.
“Wash your mouth out before I come back, I don’t like the taste of sick.” Jack said and I chuckled and smiled at him.
Jack smiled and he walked back towards the stairs and I looked over and saw everyone staring at Jack’s back.
“Fuck me he has a load of scars.” Rudi said and I glared at him.
“You don’t fucking stare at the scars, especially when you are making it so obvious about it. You also don’t ask questions about them. It’s not your place to stare or ask questions or make those sorts comments about him.” I said seriously and I got up and went upstairs.
Jack was carrying Hallie to her room and she was asleep on his shoulder and I followed Jack and watched him tuck Hallie into bed which made me smile.
Jack turned round and he jumped when he saw me.
“Why do you look so cute when you deal with her?” I whispered as Jack caught hold of my hand and we went to my room where Jack pushed me against the wall and he kissed me hard which I returned and I let my hands wonder over his body feeling every scar which is on his back.
Jack pulled back and he looked at me as we both caught our breaths.
“What was that for?” I asked and Jack smiled as he caught hold of my hand and we walked over to the bed and sat down.
“I could feel them looking at me, but I ignored them and then I heard what you said to them and nobody has ever done that for me before.” Jack said and I lent over and kissed him.
“Anything for you babe.” I said and Jack smiled.
“But be serious on why you are taking me out on a date.” Jack said.
“Because like I said before you need a break from all of this. Also I want to show you off to everyone because you are gorgeous and everyone should see that. Also I found this really nice hotel which we can stay at if you want.” I said and Jack smiled at me as he looked down with a small blush on his cheek.
“So do you want to go out on this date and spend the night with me just us two in a hotel.” I said and Jack smiled as he looked at me and lent forward and kissed me.
“Yes.” Jack whispered and I smiled and I pushed Jack onto his back and kissed him and then I started to tickle him which made Jack laughed.
“Stop it.” Jack giggled as he squirmed under me.
“Why?” I chuckled as I carried on tickling him.
“If I kick you in the balls it won’t be my fault.” Jack said and I chuckled and stopped because I didn’t feel like getting kicked in the balls.
“Get yourself sorted, as soon as dad and Danny get home we are going out.” I said and Jack looked at me.
“But what about Hallie?” Jack asked.
“Dad and Danny deal with sick people all the time. Hallie will be a peace of piss for them.” I said and Jack rolled his eyes.
“Baby don’t flake out now.” I whined and Jack chuckled.
“I’m not, now get off me so I can get myself sorted.” Jack said quietly and I smiled as I lent down and kissed him and got off him and I checked on Hallie who was asleep and I went downstairs.
“Where did you find this place? It so pretty.” Jack said as he had some of the food and looked at me for an answer.
“Is it bad to say I was taken on a date here by someone and I really liked the place so I thought I’d bring you here and get the same experience as I did.” I said and Jack smiled at me which I returned.
“How did that date go then?” Jack asked and I chuckled.
“Well the food was amazing and then I agreed to go on another date with this dude and then he showed his true colors and told him where to go. Serves me right for going with an older guy.” I said and Jack chuckled slightly.
“But I have you now so I’m not complaining that it fell through because if it didn’t I wouldn’t be sat here with you.” I said and Jack looked down with a blush slowly forming on his cheeks.
“Tell me about yourself, you are such a mystery and I don’t want you to be like that with me.” I said and Jack sighed as he looked at me.
“If I told you about me then it’ll ruin our night and I don’t want that.” Jack said as he looked back down again.
“Nothing you say will ruin this night Jack.” I said softly and Jack sighed again.
“I can’t say here.” Jack said quietly and I smiled at him.
“Why don’t we go to the hotel? You can talk then.” I said and Jack nodded slightly.
“Come on then.” I said quietly and I paid for our meal and me and Jack went for a walk before we went back to the hotel.
“How do you find such nice places? I would never of found a place like this.” Jack said quietly as he looked round the room.
“When dad and Danny need a break and have some rough fucking then they come here.” I said and Jack looked at me.
“They’ve fucked in this bed?” Jack asked and I chuckled as I walked over to him and gently grabbed his hips and pulled him towards me which made Jack smile but it was his nervous smile as he wrapped his arms round my neck.
“No they haven’t, but we could if you want.” I said and Jack looked down as his arms moved from my neck and I let him go as Jack turned his back to me.
“Forget about it, it was a stupid thing to say. I was thinking about my dick and I’m sorry.” I said and Jack turned round and looked at me and he looked like he was about to cry.
“Baby what’s wrong?” I asked softly.
“You wanted to get to know me? I can tell you about me but it isn’t pretty and I don’t want this to ruin our night Alex. Because it will, if I tell you about me then it’ll ruin everything we have.” Jack said and I walked over to him and caught hold of his hands gently which made Jack sniffed.
“Babe, I’m not going to run if that’s what you are scared off. I want to get to know you because it’s what you do in a relationship. You tell me about you and I’ll tell you about me.” I said and Jack nodded.
I let go of one of Jacks hands and I guided us over to the bed and I sat down and I gently pulled Jack onto the bed and he sat down in front of me.
“Whenever you are ready.” I said softly and Jack sighed.
“You know my dad is in prison.” Jack said quietly as he looked at me and I nodded.
“The reason he is in prison is because..” Jack said and then stopped as he looked down and I saw a few tears fall which made me reach out and wipe the tears away.
“He raped me Lex. He also would beat me with a belt and starve me if I was naughty.” Jack said quietly.
“That’s awful Jack.” I whispered and Jack sniffed.
Jack pulled his hand out of my hold and I looked at him confused as he rolled his sleeves up and he sighed loudly.
“He bashed me round the head one day and then he started to inject me with heroine.” Jack whispered and I saw the needle scars and I looked back up at Jack.
“Hallie isn’t my full sister.” Jack whispered and I frowned at him confused.
“I’m confused?” I said and Jack looked at me.
“My mum slept with somebody else and my dad thought Hallie was his until she was born and that’s when he found out Hallie wasn’t his. I mean you’ve seen me and Ella we have dark hair and brown eyes just like dad does, Hallie is blonde with the most beautiful pair of blue eyes I’ve ever seen.” Jack said and I smiled as Jack has a point about Hallie’s eyes.
“Dad found out after Hallie was born and he went fucking mental and he took it out on everyone. When mum got home he pushed her down the stairs. It was after the first 2 months mum went to hospital for a really bad injury and that’s when they found out she had dementia.” Jack sniffed as he looked down.
“Dad took his anger out on me, I don’t even remember half the stuff he did to me. All I knew was that I had to protect Hallie from him otherwise he would of killed her.” Jack sobbed and I moved and pulled him into my chest and Jack just broke down and I began to rock myself side to side in come pathetic attempt to comfort Jack.
“If it makes you feel any better my step dad used to hit me as well. But don’t tell dad please, he knows my step dad and he would literally kill him if he found out what my step dad did to me.” I said and Jack looked at me.
“Thought Danny was your step dad?” Jack asked confused.
“No, my mum got remarried to a dick but I never liked the man as much I liked Danny so I don’t really talk about him because he’s not part of my life anymore.” I said and Jack smiled as he nodded.
I wiped his tears away and lent forward and kissed his cheek.
“We don’t have to talk about this anymore.” I whispered and Jack smiled as he nodded and he looked like he was thinking about something.
“I’ve kinda ruined the night haven’t I.” Jack chuckled and I smiled at him.
“Nope. The night is young, there’s still enough time for us to do stuff if you want to do stuff.” I said and Jack messed with his hands as he looked down.
“How about we have a shower, then after that if you are in the mood after we can do something.” I said and Jack looked at me.
“It’s up to you how far we take it.” I said and Jack smiled.
I moved and got off the bed and I took my clothes off part from my pants and I looked at Jack who was looking me up and down.
I walked over and caught hold of Jacks hand and gently pulled him off the bed and Jack allowed it as he stood up.
“You watched me undress.” I said and Jack smiled shyly as he took a shakey breath as he pulled his top off and he looked at me for reassurance and I kissed him which Jack returned and I moved from his lips and onto his neck where I kissed and slightly nipping and sucking to leave a mark on Jack.
Jack put his hand on my chest and I moved and looked at Jack.
“I’ll do this but you don’t touch my scars.” Jack said and I could see tears form in his eyes and I smiled at him.
“I’m not going to push you okay. I’ll leave you to collect your thoughts and if you want to carry on then you can join me.” I said and Jack watched me walk off and I pulled my pants off and I got in the shower.
I don’t know how long it took Jack to convince himself but he walked into the shower.
“I..I..I..I don’t know if I can do this.” Jack said quietly and I reached out and caught hold of his wrist and I gently pulled him into the shower which made Jack squeak as he looked down.
“Don’t look down.” I said quietly and rested a hand on Jacks face which made him look at me.
“I want to try something.” I whispered and I could see Jack tense up.
“Trust me, I’m not going to hurt you.” I said and Jack looked at me and I kissed him which Jack returned.
“You can tell me to stop when you aren’t comfortable and I’ll stop.” I said softly and Jack nodded as I smiled at him and kissed Jack again and I worked from his lips and across his face and down to his neck where I kissed and worked on giving Jack a hickey.
I moved from his neck to his collarbones as I again worked on giving him hickies.
I pulled back and looked at Jack who looked like he had some confidence in himself and at the same time he was scared to do anything.
“I can stop here or I can work my way down.” I said and Jack sighed loudly as he looked down.
“But you want to do something though, I can’t just stop here because it’s not fair on you.” Jack said quietly and I made him look at me.
“If you want to stop then we will stop. You don’t have to worry about me.” I said.
“But how do I know that if I don’t do something you want me to do that you won’t hurt me.” Jack said quietly and I put his face in both of my hands.
“I will never be like that man Jack. I’m not going to hurt you if you don’t want to do something. If anything I want you to trust me and know that I’m not that sort of person who will push you.” I said and Jack smiled shyly at me.
Jack moved and kissed me which I returned and soon we was making out and I had Jack pinned to the wall and I was watching every move he made to make sure he doesn’t freak out.
“Let’s do it.” Jack panted and I frowned at him.
“Let’s get this over and done with so I know I don’t have to be scared of you.” Jack whispered and I smiled at him as I kneeled down in front of him.
“Tell me to stop if you are not comfortable. We are a team here and we can’t be a team if you don’t speak. This is how this relationship works okay.” I said and Jack nodded not sure on what I was doing.
I started to kiss the inside of Jacks thigh which made him tense the closer I got to his dick and I just wanted to see how far I could push Jack so I kissed the end of Jacks dick and I looked up at him.
“Please stop I’m sorry.” Jack sobbed as he pushed me out the way and walked out the bathroom and I sighed as I turned the shower off and I got out the showers and grabbed a towel and walked out to the bedroom.
I walked out and I could hear Jack crying so I quickly dried myself off and pulled some pants on and I walked round the bed and I saw Jack sat on the floor wrapped in a towel.
“It’s okay, I understand that you freaked because you thought I was going to hurt you.” I said quietly and Jack jumped and looked at me.
“You should just leave me Alex.” Jack sniffed and i did feel my heart break a little as I sat on the floor next to him.
“I’m not leaving you Jack. Sex isn’t always important.” I said and Jack looked down.
“Yes it is important because everyone wants it. You’ll get fed up on waiting for me and you’ll cheat on me because you like sex Alex. I know you do but I can’t give you what you want.” Jack sobbed as he looked back at me.
“I can’t give you sex Alex. I don’t know how long it will be before I can but I can’t do it right now. I’m giving you the option of leaving and be with someone who can give you want you want.” Jack said and I looked down.
“I don’t care about sex Jack. I only care about you and Hallie and you are putting all your walls up because you think I’m going to hurt you like that bastard did. But I’m not Jack, I would never dream on doing those things to you. Yes for me it’s going to be hard but I will wait for you to feel comfortable with me. I’m not leaving you because I love you Jack.” I said and Jack shook his head.
“You can’t love someone like me.” Jack whispered as he looked down and I moved and sat between his legs and I made him look at me.
“I fucking love you Jack. I can love someone like you because I do love you. I love you Jack and I have never said those 3 important words to anyone before.” I said as I wiped the tears away from his cheeks.
“I love you, please believe me when I say it.” I whispered and rested my forehead against Jacks.
“You don’t have to say it back.” I said and Jack smiled slightly.
I moved and offered Jack my hand which he took and I helped him stand up.
Jack moved forwards and he kissed me which I returned and after making out we pulled back but we was barley even apart so we was just breathing in each other’s breaths.
“I love you too.” Jack whispered and I smiled as I gently pushed Jack onto the bed and climbed over him so I was sat on him.
“We can leave it here or go all the way. You choose.” I said and I felt Jacks hands on my ass and giving it a squeeze which made me smirk at him.
Jack nodded and I took this as a yes and we moved more onto the bed.
We was cuddled in bed and was both panting heavily.
“See it wasn’t that bad once you get over the fear.” I said quietly as I ran my finger up and down Jacks arm.
“I guess not.” Jack said quietly as he looked at me.
“Do you really love me?” Jack whispered.
I rolled over so me and Jack was nose to nose which made Jack smile shyly.
“Yes, I really do love you.” I whispered and Jack smiled and he kissed me which I returned.
Finally managed to update