Here I Am, There You Are

No matter who your husband was, waking up at 5 am with nobody beside you when there definitely should have been someone was quite jarring. There was a point when it was normal, when Archie would wake up multiple times throughout the night, but we were way past that now. At first I assumed he must have gone to the bathroom, but there wasn’t any light coming from underneath the door.

I waited for a bit, hoping to just fall asleep. But he didn’t come back and it was too much on my mind for me to even keep my eyes closed for a long period of time. It actually started to make me question if I had messed up my dates and woken up in some sort of daze. I even turned around, reached out, and grabbed my phone from my nightstand to see if Jack was actually on tour or something. But no. He was supposed to be home.

I sighed, knowing I couldn’t fall asleep how hard I tried, and decided to just get out of bed and see where he was. Maybe Alex had called him about music, maybe he couldn’t sleep himself, or maybe–and this would have been bad–something was wrong with Archie.

The hallway was completely dark as well except for the little nightlight we had plugged into the wall. I stood outside our room for a second, listening to see if I could pinpoint any sounds. I was hoping for something like the mumbling of the TV, Jack speaking from downstairs or in the office, or hearing him talk to Archie.

But there was nothing.

I decided to first go to Archie’s room to see if he was okay. The door was ajar, like we always kept it, but the lights were dimmed instead of off. I was sure I had turned them off after I had put Archie to bed. So, Jack must have been in here. But he wasn’t in the usual chair we would sit in if Archie was having a bad night. Yet the lights that were still on told me he didn’t leave the room.

Or maybe he did, but kept the lights as dimmed as possible for Archie.

I stepped further into the room to take a look at Archie and my heart melted. There, in the crib we had adjusted for Archie’s age, was not just my baby boy, but also my husband. Jack had his legs up, curled around Archie’s body, his arm protectively holding him close. It was adorable. Both of them had their lips parted, their breath rising and falling in sync, and both heads of hair a mess.

As much as I wanted to sneak away and leave them be, I knew Jack was going to be in excruciating pain if he was going to sleep in that position for any longer. His neck was craned into an awkward position and his back was completely curved.

So, I got down to be at their level, put my arm through the bars, and softly put in on his arm to wake him up.

When he started stirring, I whispered, “hey.”

He groaned a little in response, turning his head to me. In the process, he already flinched at the change of position.

“You should get back to bed,” I told him.

He rubbed his eyes with the hand that wasn’t close to Archie. “But Archie was having a nightmare…”

“And he’s asleep now.” I smiled softly. “But if you stay in here any longer, you’re not going to be able to play with him tomorrow.”

“Right,” he nodded carefully and started trying to shuffle away without waking Archie up. “Will you help me out?”

“Of course.” I nodded and got back up.

Jack slowly sat up. Almost every movement ended with him freezing and checking if he hadn’t woken Archie accidentally. But that boy was quite a deep sleeper once he was gone. Eventually, Jack managed to get up on his feet. I held out my arms for him while he threw his one leg over the bars and then carefully dragged the other over as well.

“God, I’m already in pain,” he chuckled, rubbing his neck.

“Come on,” I ushered him out of the room, “let’s get back to bed. I can help you get the knots out there.”

“Oh, is that all you’re going to do?” I said back smugly.

“Watch it,” I warned as I switched off the light and pressed a kiss to the back of his neck, pushing him down the hallway.

Notes