Make Me Skin And Bones
Getting worse
My mom let me stay home today...
I was planning on it anyway though.
"Sweetheart, you need to eat something." I shook my head at her "I'm not hungry mama" I mumbled, tears in my eyes "You probably have low blood sugar and that's why you feel sick." I shook my head "Mom, please... Just bring me some water." I whispered "Fine." She sighed...
It was around the time I should be in art, and I couldn't help but think what Alex was doing, he probably didn't even care I wasn't there. I sipped on my water silently as I watched Shameless.
I heard a knock on the door and my mother's footsteps, I didn't care about who it was until I heard my mother's overly excited voice.
"Oh! Alex!" My eyes widened at her words "Hi, Mrs. Gagnier. Is uh... Brooklyn here? I have the assignment that the teacher told me to drop off to her."
I set my glass down and quickly brought the covers up to my chin, faking my sleep.
"Oh, Yeah she's in her room. She's been sick all day though. She might be asleep."
Please don't come in here... I thought to myself.
'You don't want him to see how fat you are' ana laughed.
I heard feet coming down the hall and relaxed more, pretending I was asleep, praying so fucking hard that it was my mother, but I knew my mother had a heavier walk than that of a teenage boy.
My heart all but jumped into my throat when my door opened.
"is she asleep?" My mother's voice called "Yes." Alex replied with a slight sigh. "You can either wake her up or leave it on her bedside table and I'll let her know when she wakes up."
jesus mom, why'd you give him the option to wake me...
Subconsciously my eyebrows furrowed. I could feel someone standing by my bed, staring at me. "She missed you, you know." My mother's voice came from my doorway. Alex hummed slightly "Missed her too" He whispered... I couldn't tell if he was lying or not.
"I think I should just let her sleep..." Alex spoke, "Let her know I came by?" "Will do, Have a good day, Alex" "You too, Mrs. Gagnier."
Wednesday
I didn't eat all day yesterday. Despite me already knowing, my mom explained how Alex came over.
I walked through the halls, arms wrapped around myself. Feeling dead. Wanting to just disappear.
I had Art first today... I really didn't want to see Alex... I didn't want to see anyone. I had a terrible cloud looming over me today, Depression holding me in its tight grip.
I hadn't realized it, but I was late.
"You're late, Miss. Gagnier" The teacher frowned "Sorry, I'm still not feeling good" I whispered. I felt all eyes on me. Alex was already in his seat, wearing a scowl... I know who not to talk to today...
I sat down slowly, arms still wrapped around my chubby stomach and placed my head down on the desk... A wave of vertigo washing over me.
I saw Alex playing with his fingers under the desk.
"I uh..." He started, quietly, I sat up and looked at him "Did your mom let you know, about the paper?" I nodded, not bothering to talk. I couldn't be bothered with much of anything at this moment.
He nodded back. "You... Read over it?" he avoided eye contact 'Mhm" I hummed, looking down "It um..." He looked at me at the sound of my voice "Didn't have the artist though..." I whispered "Oh. Yea sorry... Were doing Claud Monet" I nodded and looked down again. "You can stop the faced. Alexander." I snapped "I don't need you pretending to tolerate me, let's just do the project and then stay out of each other's lives, I get it, Were not friends anymore." "Broo--- "Alex. Please I can't be bothered today" I snapped. Before standing up and walking out, ignoring the calls from the teacher.
The sudden movement caused me to go light headed, black dots danced in front of my eyes.
"Brooklyn!" I heard Alex call "Alexander. Please" I nearly sobbed. "Shit, are you okay? He gasped "I'm fine. Stood up to fast..." I mumbled through it wasn't clearing up. I placed a hand on my head and one on the wall for support. I felt my knees growing weak.
"Brook?" I scoffed "You don't get to call me that" I mumbled, I felt my vision clearing and I stood up straighter.
"Are you sure yo-" "ALEX!" I shouted, his eyes widened "Why are you so fucking concerned about me?! You fucking told me not to talk to you, told me we weren't friends, Are you fucking doing this to destroy me or something?" His face fell. I shook my head and walked away.
-
"How was school today??" My mom asked again "Still don't feel good" I mumbled, retreating to my room. and powering up my treadmill. Changed into my workout clothes and hopped on.
I ran for about 30 minutes until I got super light headed. I cracked my window open a little and sat down on my bed.
"Are you gonna eat today?" My mom asked from my door. I shook my head and she sighed "If you keep this up I'm taking you to the doctors" I scoffed "Mom, I'm just not feeling good." Her face heated "YOU'RE NOT FEELING GOOD BECAUSE YOU HAVENT EATEN SINCE MONDAY!" my eyes widened "My windows open, I don't need the whole block knowing!" I snapped. "I'm going for a walk."
She sighed and watched me leave.
On my way I lit up a smoke, deciding to go into the old forest Alex and I hung out in.
I walked aimlessly around until I came across our old cabin. We would come here and vent to each other. Or when we were upset...
My heart thudded in my chest as I took another drag from my smoke. I walked tentatively around the small cabin and looked through the windows. Thankful that no one was in there.
Silently I sat down, one thing, in particular, caught my eye.
'A.G & B.G BFF 4EVR'
I let a tear slip. Holding the smoke between my lips I ran my fingers over the engraved piece of wood.
"What the fuck are you doing in here?" A voice asked angerly behind me causing me to jump "Fuck. Sorry. I... Fuck" I mumbled, pushing passed whoever was at the door and quickly made an exit.
I walked back home, hoping the person wasn't following. But I heard a twig snap and then a hand on my shoulder "Don't you know its rud-" He stopped once he turned me around... It was Alex "Brooklyn?" Tears rose in my eyes "I forgot... I'm sorry" I sniffled "I'll, I'll never go in there again... S'yours. Okay." I pulled away from him. Making my way back home again.
Thursday.
Its been three days since I've eaten a full meal. I weighed in this morning at 129...
Still not good enough!
I walked mindlessly through the hall. People bumping into me and apologizing.
"GOD, YOU'RE SO RETARDED!" A female voice shouted, "FUCK YOU LISA!" I looked over and saw Alex and Lisa fighting "FUCK ME?! FUCK YOU! NOT MY FAULT SOMEONE CAUGHT YOU WITH THAT PIG!" "IT WASN'T EVEN LIKE THAT!" he shouted back "FUCK YOU'RE SO CONTROLLING LISA!" she shook her head and caught sight of me and before I knew it she was yelling at me "DID YOU HAVE FUN WITH HIM, HM?" She sneered, My face stayed neutral, A bored look coming across it "If you can't believe him, believe me. He wants nothing to do with me anymore. Said so himself." I watched as his face fell "Oh, Right. He probably fucked you in that stupid cabin of yours" I rolled my eyes "I really don't need this right now. Think what you want, but I'm having nothing to do with your guyses fight, so don't bring me into it."
"FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU BOTH. ALEX YOURE SINGLE. PIECE OF SHIT!"
She stormed away, Pushing me down in the process. I pushed myself up and made my way to the courtyard for the break.
Resting my head on the brick wall outside I sighed.
Dizzyness getting worse. Not just from the impact I had from being pushed down.
Sighing I decided I wanted my headphones so I stood up. Again too quickly. But I pushed that aside. walking in and towards my locker.
"Brooklyn." Alex sighed. My vision was getting worse
"Not right now, Alex..." I mumbled, Almost falling. He caught me "Jesus, Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, Dizzy" I pushed him off me "Broo-" "Alex please, I don't feel good," I whispered, feeling the world shift as the dizziness got worse and worse Until everything spun too quickly and I collapsed. The last thing I heard was Alex's worried voice call my name.
-
"Will she be okay?" I heard my mothers voice ask, over the sound of a heart monitor. I felt so, so weak... Even if I wanted to open my eyes... I couldn't.
"She should be just fine, Were hydrating her and keeping an eye out. You did the right thing, Mr. Gaskarth" A voice I didn't recognize spoke, "Thank you, Alex." My mother whimpered.
"It's not a problem" His voice cracked... "You know... She's convinced you don't wanna be friends with her anymore... Is that true? Alex?" My mother's voice came out strained.
Alex sighed "I had said that yes..." I could hear the guilt in his voice "Ou-Out of anger, I was mad that she left... I didn't mean it" He nearly sobbed "She need's a friend right now." My mother whispered, "She's, She's not doing well right now." "I Can Tell"
Silence fell over the room "Why don't you go home, Sharen, It's past 11... I'll stay here until she wakes up" Alex offered "Okay... Call me when she wakes up, please." "I will"
I heard my mom leave the room and silence took over again. Aside from the heart monitor and Alex's occasional sniffle.
How did we end up here?
You're not skinny enough to be here.
You're still fat!
"Brook..." Alex's voice cracked "Fuck I'm so sorry" He sounded so defeated "I'm here now. You don't have to be alone.
I heard what you're mom said.
You haven't eaten since Monday...
I didn't mean to imply you were fat, with the comment I made. It's just, our schools' food is fucking gross."
He laughed slightly.
"I'll help you."
That was the last thing I heard before darkness took over.
Hey, I'm still here! lol.
Great job with the new update! A bit sad, though, but I guess this story is in general. Nothing too happy came in the chapter. But glad that Alex didn't leave her this time.
Hope to see more soon! :)
7/21/18