Misanthropy

This had to be the longest dinner ever.

Jared ended up pulling the lazy option and ordered Chinese food. While the pair sat on the couch, eating their food feverishly, and holding up a conversation with each other, I sat on the floor, poking at my rice with chopsticks. I wasn’t used to eating at home. I usually only ate at school. It wasn’t a choice. It was more of a habit I had been so accustomed to. Just staring at the food in my hand made me nauseous. “If you don’t know how to use chopsticks, you shouldn’t have asked for them,” Jared teases, ignoring the harsh glare I threw in his direction.

“I can use chopsticks, dipshit,” I grumbled. “I’m just not hungry.”

He rolled his eyes, “You’re not hungry? That’s a lie. You’re always hungry. You just want to be better than Alex and I.”

Frowning, I glance at Alex. He shook his head slightly, signaling that he was not on my uncle’s side on this. My gaze turns back to Jared, never leaving his eyes as I pick up a chunk of rice with the chopsticks. Proving a point, I pop the rice into my mouth. When I had swallowed the food, I smirk, “You know Uncle Jared, you should stop making assumptions about me. You know how well that turned out last time.”

He shifted uncomfortably, the air filling with tension. I felt slightly bad for the teen that sat beside my uncle. He had no idea what I meant, or why the air was so thick all of the sudden. “I apologized,” Jared mumbled, setting down his food on the coffee table.

“That solves nothing.”

With a clenched jaw, he jumps up from the couch, walking towards the bathroom. He slammed the door behind him as we watched him. I scoff as I continue to poke at my food. He was an idiot, and he knew it. Apologies mean nothing to me. “What was that about?” Alex had abandoned his food as well.

“Stuff,” I said shortly, getting up from the floor. “I’ll throw this away.”

I grab his abandoned tray, along with Jared’s, making my way to the kitchen. I dropped the plates into the garbage can, including the rice that I only ate a bite of. I wasn’t going to eat it, so why would I keep it? Besides, I didn’t eat at home anyway.

I grabbed a cigarette from my jacket pocket, lighting it up in the middle of the kitchen. I flicked the ashes into the sink, so I wouldn’t make a mess everywhere. I should really invest in an ashtray in every room. I was enjoying the silence, but it had to be interrupted by Alex walking in. “That’s not good for you,” he motions to the cigarette in my hand.

Snickering, I let out a breath of smoke, “Of course it’s not. Breathing in toxic fumes hurt your lungs. But I never planned on living that long anyway.”

“Why?” He asks, leaning against the counter next to me.

“None of your business,” I snap.

“Look, if we’re going to be friends, you need to open up a little bit,” he insisted.

I rolled my eyes, putting out the cigarette by turning on the water on it. “You’ve already forgotten, this is fake and temporary. I’m paying you to pretend. Plus, even if this was real, I wouldn’t tell you shit the first day we’re friends.”

Before he could reply, Jared walked in the kitchen, grimacing, “You’re still smoking?”

I don’t answer his stupid question, so he continues what he was going to say, “I’m leaving.”

“Thank God!” I exclaim. “Now, get out.”

He didn’t say anything, only staring at me with a look of sympathy. I nearly snapped at him. I don’t want his sympathy. Before he left, I noticed him whisper something to Alex. I would get it out of him later. When Jared finally made his way out the door, I gave a sarcastic wave. Turning to the teen, I frown, “Okay buddy, you’re next.”

“Huh?”

“Are you dumb?” I snap, opening the door once I’ve made sure that Jared was gone. “Get the fuck out of my house.”

Surprisingly, he did so without protest. The only thing he did was give me a questioning look. Like he knew something but wasn’t quite sure what he knew. He paused for a second, causing me to have to shove him out. I slammed the door behind me, sighing as I leaned up against the hardwood.

Finally, I was alone.

Alex’s POV
I was shocked that she literally shoved me out of the house. I had actually thought I was getting somewhere when I saw her smiling, but obviously not. She was still a cold, hard shell. I sighed when I realized that I would have to walk all the way home. She couldn’t even offer me a ride and my house was fifteen minutes away. My stomach was full of food and I was exhausted from Hazel’s attitude and the tension that seemed to fill that house.

Sometimes, I didn’t even know why I was trying so hard. She was so rude and constantly shoved everybody away. But maybe that’s what drew me to her. I could see it on the first day of school. There was something about her that seemed…almost fake. Like there was something more to her than just insults and negativity. And that was confirmed by what her uncle said to me.

Right before he left, he pulled me aside, whispering. “Keep an eye on her,” he insisted, his eyes pleading. “She may seem tough, but she’s really not. Promise me you will make sure she’s okay.”

I had nodded, somewhat satisfied that I knew I was right. I knew there was something I was missing by her cryptic jabs she would point at her uncle. He also gave me his number to call him in case of emergency. I didn’t know exactly what he meant by emergency, but I accepted it nonetheless.

I was yanked out of my train of thought by someone yelling my name. I glanced over to see Rian hanging out of a car window. His car. “Get your ass in here,” he told me.

I do as he requested, sitting in the passenger seat. “Where were you going?” He asks, keeping both hands on the wheel like the good kid he is.

“Home,” I inform him. “I was at Hazel’s.”

He shook his head, “She didn’t give you a ride? I usually don’t like to say rude things about people, but that girl is a world class bitch. Why do you even try?”

“There’s a reason,” I persisted, facing him fully now. “She didn’t just become that for no reason. There is something to it.”

He sighed, glancing at me, “I hope you’re right, man. I really hope so.”

Notes