Alex’s POV

Jay was sat on the sofa looking at his book while I was busy trying to work out what the fuck me and Luna was going to do.
“What you thinking about?” Jack asked as he wrapped his arms around my waist and I rested my head on his shoulder.
“What the hell are me and Luna meant to do now. I mean we’re switching dads machine off today and then we’re on our own.” I said quietly and I looked at Jay who was babbling to himself while he was still reading his book.
“You carry on with what you are doing. You’ve got this babe. I know you do.” Jack said quietly as he kissed my cheek and Jay looked up and smiled at me which I returned his smile.
“I love you Lex.” Jack whispered in my ear which made me smile as I turned round and looked at him.
“I love you too.” I whispered and kissed him.
“Dada.” Jay said and me and Jack looked at him and I walked over and picked him up and walked back over to Jack.
“And we love you too little man.” Jack said and he kissed the top of Jays head which made him smile and Jack put his head next to Jays which Jay gently head butted Jack’s head which made Jack smile.
“You sure you and Luna want to go on your own?” Jack asked and I sighed as I looked at him and nodded.
“Yeah, we need to do this on our own. Terri said she would give us a lift back so all you need to worry about is looking after Jay and cooking food.” I said and Jack frowned at me.
“I’ll be fine babe. I promise.” I said quietly and pecked Jack on the lips and walked off to get dressed.

Me and Luna got to the hospital and Luna had hold of my hand which made a few people look at us but right now we couldn’t care.
We walked into dads room and Luna let go of my hand and she went round to the other side of dads bed and she caught hold of his hand and she kissed dads forehead.
“Can’t believe we’re saying goodbye to him Lex.” Luna sniffed and I looked at her and smiled sadly at her.
“I know, now we really need to grow up.” I said and Luna looked at me with a frown.
“We have a meeting with his lawyer tomorrow to discuss about everything in dads will. Then after that we have to decide what we are going to do with our future.” I said and Luna looked confused.
“You’re not going to the states are you? Alex you said you would think about it and you said you wouldn’t leave me. Lex you promised me.” Luna said and I smiled at her.
“I need a holiday Luna. I’m not leaving you Luna but I don’t know what to do now. I need to get away for a while and have support because this is going to hit the both of us really bad probably back to the point of relapse and I don’t want that and being here will make me want to relapse. You can always come with me or you can go to Wales with Terri. I don’t know what to do Luna, I’m now meant to look after you and Jay and I do t know if i can cope.” I said and Luna got up and walked over to me and pulled me into a hug which I returned.
“I know Lex, I know this is going to be really hard. But I think we both need to get this over and done with and tonight we can have a good cry on Jack’s and Terri’s shoulders, then tomorrow we’ll talk to the lawyer and after that we can talk about what we are going to do.” Luna said quietly in my ear and I sniffed as I nodded and I heard someone clear their throats which made me and Luna look at them.
“Are you two ready?” A nurse asked and Luna looked at me and I nodded.

“Okay, has anyone spoken to you two about what is going to happen?” The nurse said softly and I nodded.
“Someone spoke to me yesterday when I signed the final lot of papers.” I said and the nurse nodded.
“Have you got any support for afterwards? As this isn’t going to be easy for the both of you.” The nurse said.
“I’ve got my partner, my sister and my kid for my support and my sister has me, my partner and her girlfriend to support.” I said and the nurse nodded.
“What about your mum or family?” The nurse asked.
“Our mum died 2 years ago and our grandparents died when we was little so we have no family. Just each other.” I said and Luna caught hold of my hand.
“So you know what is going to happen?” The nurse asked.
“I know what happens but my sister doesn’t.” I said and the nurse looked at Luna.
“Would you like me to tell you what happens?” The nurse asked and Luna shook her head as I pulled her into my side.
“Could you talk your way through it?” Luna asked quietly and the nurse nodded.
“Of course sweetie, anything to make this a little more easier for you two.” The nurse said as she walked round to the other side of the bed.
“Okay so I’m going to turn off these machines one at a time and then remove his breathing tube and then I’ll leave you two to have some time with your dad.” The nurse said and I nodded as Luna sniffed.
“Can you turn the sound of the heart monitor off please?” I asked and the nurse smiled at us and nodded.
“Of course.” The nurse said softly and she turned the sound off.
Me and Luna just watched as the nurse turned one machine off at a time and then she disconnected the breathing tube.
Luna was already crying but I couldn’t bring myself to cry.
“I’ll leave you two alone.” The nurse said quietly and she walked out the room.
Luna walked over to dad and climbed onto the bed and cuddled into his side and started to cry harder.
“I’m going to be outside okay.” I said to Luna and she nodded and I walked out the room and headed outside where I pulled a cigarette out and started to smoke it.

“Oh if your parents knew you smoked.” A voice said and I looked up and saw a old school friend, Tony.
“They are dead so it doesn’t matter.” I said quietly and looked at Tony.
“Oh shit. Not Mr and Mrs G, they were like parent goals.” Tony said and I sniffed and I felt a pair of arms round me and I was being pulled into their chest and it smelt like Jack which I was happy about.
“Now is not the time Tony. Just let Alex and Luna greave for a while and I’m guessing there will be a party and then you two can catch up but until then you need to give them some space.” Jack said and I could hear Tony smile.
“It’s cool dude. I’ll see you around Alex.” Tony said and I turned my head and watched him walk off.
“Thanks for that.” I whispered and Jack smiled at me and kissed me which I returned and stood back and looked at him.
“Why you here? Who is looking after Jayden?” I asked.
“Jay is okay.” Jack asked and I frowned at him.
“Where is he Jack?” I asked seriously.
“Jay is at home with Terri. He is in safe hands don’t worry.” Jack said quietly.
“Who is going to be there for Luna? She needs someone Jack.” I said and Jack nodded behind me and Terri showed up with Jay in his pushchair.
“Don’t worry, we’ll take Jay home with us and Terri will sit with Luna until she is ready to come home.” Jack said and I looked at Jay who looked at me and smiled which I returned sadly at him.
“I can’t just leave her here.” I whispered and Terri pulled me into a hug which I returned .
“Trust me Lex. I’ll stay here and she won’t be alone.” Terri whispered in my ear and I just nodded as I sniffed and Terri pulled back and looked at me.
“I’ve got her. Just look after yourself and Jay.” Terri said and she kissed my cheek which made me smile and she walked off toward the hospital and I looked at Jack.
Jay started to whine which made me look at him.
“Let’s get you both home.” Jack said and I nodded and Jack took the pushchair and caught hold of my hand and we walked home.

Jack was sorting Jay out and I was sat on the bed looking at some photos.
“So that’s the baby in bed and settling down. Now it’s time for me to put all my attention on you.” Jack said as he sat on the bed and I looked at him.
“Is Luna and Terri home?” I asked quietly.
“Yeah, they came back about an hour ago.” Jack said softly.
“Let’s get you something to eat.” Jack said and I shook my head.
“I’m not hungry.” I said quietly as I looked at at the pictures and Jack put his hand on top of mine which made me look at him.
“Don’t shut me out Lex. Please I’m begging you not to shut me out of what is going on in your mind.” Jack said with a slight sniff.
“I can’t believe he’s dead Jack.” I whispered as I felt tears roll down my cheek and Jack gently wiped some tears away.
“I know.” Jack said quietly and I looked at Jack and saw a tear roll down his face and I reached out and wiped it away which made Jack look at me.
Jack moved so he was now sat on me and he kissed me softly which I returned.
“I love you, you know that?” Jack asked as he ran his thumb over my cheek bones.
“I know and I love you too.” I said quietly and Jack kissed me again a little harder than before.
“Before this goes any further, you need to eat as you haven’t eaten all day.” Jack said and I groaned loudly as I looked at him.
“Well that’s one way of killing the mood.” I said and Jack chuckled as he kissed my neck and I felt him nipping and sucking making sure he left his mark on me.
Jack pulled back and looked at me and kissed me hard.
“You’re not meant to be turning me on.” I said and Jack chuckled.
“Let’s get some food.” Jack said against my lips as he kissed me again and he got off me and the bed and he offered me his hand which I took and he helped me out of the bed and he pulled me close to him and I wrapped my arms round his neck while Jack wrapped his hand round my waist and rested his hands on my ass which made me smile into his neck as I kissed his neck.
Jack let me go and looked at me as he offered me his hand which I took and we went downstairs where Jack cooked me something.

“So many people have commented or liked what I posted about dad on Facebook.” I said as I ate the food which Jack cooked and it happened to be my favourite meal what Jack cooks.
“He was a well liked and loved man.” Jack said and I looked at Jack and smiled.
I heard Jay though the monitor and I sighed loudly as Jack put his fork down.
“I’ll get him.” I said as I got up and headed to Jays bedroom.
I walked into Jays bedroom and saw him stood up in bed and he smiled when he saw me which made me smile.
“What you doing up little man?” I asked quietly as I picked him up and held him close to me and I kissed the top of his head and I looked in his bed and saw his teddy and I picked it up and I walked over to the chair we had in Jays room and I sat down.
“I love you with all my heart little man.” I whispered on top of Jays head and kissed the top of his head.
“Jack loves you as well. Minus waking him up in the early hours of the morning.” I said quietly and Jay looked at me and smiled .
Jay rested his head on my shoulder and I handed him his teddy which he took and I started to him softly to help him drift off to sleep.
I don’t know how long I was but when I looked up at the door Jack was leaning against it which made me jump.
“Jesus don’t do that.” I whispered as I looked at Jay and saw he had fallen asleep and I carefully stood up and put Jay back to bed which made him sigh loudly as I pulled the blanket over him and I just stood there and watched him.
Jack walked over and he put his hand on my back which made me look at him.
“Come downstairs and watch a film.” Jack whispered and I smiled at him and nodded.
I looked at Jay and I kissed the side of Jays head and I caught hold of Jack’s hand and we walked downstairs.

“I’ve heard this film is really good.” Jack said as he walked over to me and taking his shirt off which made me smirk slightly.
“What even is it, all very well saying a film is good when I don’t even know what we’re watching.” I said as Jack sat on the sofa.
“It is the greatest showman. I believe you will enjoy this.” Jack said as he got back up again.
“Now where you going?” I asked and Jack lent down and kissed me.
“Popcorn, can’t have film night without munch.” Jack said as he walked off and I idea came into my mind.
“Babe.” I said as I jogged after him.
“Yeah?” Jack said and I walked over to the cupboard which I locked as it had some stuff I didn’t want people to find.
“How about we smoke some of this.” I said and waved the bag of weed I had.
Jack just looked at me with a frown.
“I thought you got rid of that.” Jack said.
“I got rid of most of it, needed to leave some behind.” I said and Jack sighed.
“It’s not like I got coke in the house. I either done a load of lines of it or got rid of it.” I said and Jack looked at me.
“Since when did you go all blue balls about drugs? Not as if either of us are exactly clean from it.” I said.
“I haven’t gone blue balls Alex. But you know we have a baby in the house and you have just lost your dad. Now really isn’t the time.” Jack said and I shrugged my shoulders at him.
“I think now is a good time to be honest. Anyway I could be going off and doing worse things, like going to a club getting fucked out my face and doing stuff I shouldn’t be doing. But I’m not I am at home with you just wanting a couple of joints.” I said and Jack sighed.
“Fine. But we’re sharing the joint though and don’t pack it full of weed.” Jack said and I couldn’t help but smile to myself as I got the stuff I needed.

Me and Jack was stood outside smoking this joint.
“You’ve put too much weed in.” Jack said as he handed me back the joint.
“Don’t be such a baby.” I chuckled and had some of the joint.
“Well I’m sorry I don’t smoke weed as much as you.” Jack said as he walked over and wrapped his arms round my neck and I lent against him.
“It’s because you have stopped being a little stoner.” I said and Jack chuckled.
“We happen to have a child now.” Jack said and I smiled.
“And that child happens to be flat out in bed and doesn’t give a shit about the world yet.” I said and Jack kissed my cheek.
“Anyway, you are going to stop smoking this and then we are going to watch that film and cuddle and eat food.” Jack said and I turned round and smiled at him.
“This is why I love you.” I said and put my joint out and put in the ash tray and either Luna or Terri will smoke it later.
Jack caught hold of my hand and we went inside and I literally raided the cupboards for food and I heard Jack chuckle.
“What I have the munchies.” I said as I walked in the sitting room and sat on the sofa and Jack joined with a big bottle of coke.
Jack sat next to me and I cuddled into his side as I opened the popcorn.

When I next looked Jack had fallen asleep which made me smile as I sat up and gently pushed him onto his side which made him sigh loudly as he got comfy and I stood up and got the blanket and put it over Jack and I kissed the side of his head and I went outside to finish this joint.
I was sat on the steps when I heard the back door open and shut and I looked and saw it was Luna.
“Shouldn’t you be all cuddled up with Terri?” I asked as she walked over and sat next to me.
“Could say the same about you being cuddled to Jack.” Luna said as I handed her over the joint which she took.
“Can’t sleep, have too much spinning around in my head at the moment.” I said as I got my bag of weed and started to roll another joint.
“Jesus Alex how much weed do you even have?” Luna asked.
“Well if Jack has put a stop to me taking coke then I can only have weed. Anyway it’s not as if I’m going to do anything stupid while I’m on it. If anything my head will escape to its happy place and I’ll just crash on top of Jack.” I said and Luna chuckled as I looked at her as I started to smoke my other joint.
“Anyway why aren’t you asleep?” I asked.
“Terri is hogging the bed and covers and I couldn’t sleep.” Luna said quietly.
“Christ it’s really happened hasn’t it.” Luna said quietly.
“Yeah it has. But we have each other now. That’s all what matters now and we aren’t going anywhere okay. Nothing is going to spilt me and you up. You’re my sister and I love you and you’ll always be my best friend Luna.” I said and Luna looked at me.
“What you even thinking about? Shit Alex you’re not going to kill yourself are you?” Luna asked sounding worried.
“I’m not going to kill myself. I have you, Jack and Jay to think about now. But I don’t know Luna I can’t stay in this house. Everything just reminds me of dad and mum and I haven’t got the mental strength to stay here.” I said and looked at Luna who smiled sadly at me as I saw a couple of tears roll down her cheeks.
“I feel the same.” Luna whispered as she sniffed.
I moved closer to Luna and pulled her into my side and I kissed the top of her head.
“We’ll talk about this more when it doesn’t hurt so much.” I said quietly and Luna nodded as she pulled back and looked at me.
“You put too much weed in your joints.” Luna said and I chuckled.
“Jack says the same.” I said and Luna smiled.
“I’m going to see if I can get into bed. So I’ll see you in the morning.” Luna said as she stood up and she kissed the top of my head.
“See you the morning Luna.” I said and Luna walked inside.

I finished my joint off and I went inside and went to the sitting room and put the film back on and I lifted Jack’s legs up and sat down and put his legs on my lap where I started to me with his leg hair while I just zoned out and watched the film.

Notes