Alex’s POV

I woke up by Jay finding it fun to pretty much jump on my face.
“No Jay, it’s too early to be up now.” I mumbled sleepily as I rolled over so my back was too him and I cuddled into Jack’s back which made him sigh loudly and groan as he slowly woke up.
“Dada.” Jay said happily as he jumped on me again.
“No mum go away.” Jack muttered which made me chuckle as I kissed between his shoulder blades and just enjoyed this cuddle while Jay was jumping on me to wake me up even though I was already awake, I was just letting him entertain himself just so I can have cuddles in some sort of peace.
Jayden was laughing and giggling at what he was doing and Jack sighed loudly again as he slowly woke up.
I felt Jay move of me and he sat on the bed and entertained himself.
“Don’t need a alarm clock with him around.” Jack said sleepily which made me chuckle as I cuddled more into his back.
“Have children they say. It’ll be fun.” I muttered into Jack back and he chuckled at what I said and I felt Jay by my head.
“Dada.” Jay said and I turned my head and looked at him.
“What Jay?” I asked sleepily and Jay picked his book up and pointed to a picture.
“Moo.” Jay said and I smiled at him as I slowly moved away from Jack and Jay lead beside me and I read him the book which made Jack roll over and cuddle into my side and he rested his head on my chest and I started to mess with his hair as I carried on reading to Jay.

I was busy feeding Jay when Luna walked into the kitchen.
“Alex can we talk please?” Luna asked quietly as she stood next to me and I looked at her.
“Just wait until Jack gets downstairs so he can have little man and then we can talk.” I said and Luna nodded as she walked off and I looked at Jay who smiled at me which I returned and I got up and made myself and Jack a coffee.
Terri came downstairs and walked into the kitchen and stood next to me.
“You shouldn’t of brought Luna’s past up like you did.” Terri said and I looked at her with a glared.
“Luna could of brought my past up as well. Anyway it’s has nothing to do with anyway so just keep your nose out.” I said.
“Bet your past didn’t involve you having a horrible mental health problems. So yeah this does have something to do with me as I don’t my girlfriend slipping back into a eating disorder.” Terri said.
“My past does involve mental health. So no this doesn’t have anything to do with you.” I said and Terri looked at me with a unsure look on her face.
“Alex has mental health problems Terri, he just keeps it hidden and he’s slowly getting better.” I heard Luna say and Terri looked at Luna and then back to me.
I wasn’t wearing a top and if you looked past the hickies along my collarbones and on my neck and you looked closely enough on my arms you could see scars.
“You’re messing with me.” Terri said and I chuckled and went over to Jay to give him a drink and I kissed the top of his head.
“I’m not messing. I have bipolar but if I take my medication then I’m fine and keep myself busy.” I said and looked at Luna who caught hold of Terri hand and took her somewhere and Jack walked in the room.
“Alright babe?” Jack asked as he kissed the top of my head.
“Yeah, Terri doesn’t believe me when I say I have bipolar.” I said and Jack chuckled.
“Should of seen the mess you was in the other day. You are definitely bipolar.” Jack chuckled and I slapped his chest.
“Leave me alone.” I said and Jack smiled and kissed me which I returned.
“Love you either way.” Jack said against my lips which made me smile and kiss Jack again.
“I’ve got work today so I can’t look after Jay.” Jack said as he moved towards the kitchen side and got his coffee as he tucked his shirt into his jeans and the sight was really going to my dick but I had to ignore it.
“Thought you had the day off?” I asked confused.
“I did and then Scarlett went of sick so I have to go work.” Jack said and I nodded.
“You going to be okay?” Jack asked as he looked at me and I nodded.
“Yeah, I have to go to studio and sort some stuff out there so I can drag Luna and Jay along with me.” I said and Jack frowned at me.
“Don’t give me that look Jack. Honestly I am fine, yeah I admit I’m a bit stressed but other than that I’m fine.” I said and Jack nodded and went to the medicine cupboard and got my medication and I smiled at him as he handed me one.
“Knew you didn’t take them.” Jack said and I chuckled as I put the tablet in my mouth and Jack handed me some water which made me smile as I swallowed the tablet and the water.
“Can’t have you going batshit on us.” Jack said and I smiled as I kissed him.
“I’m fine, anyway I don’t go batshit.” I said and Jack smiled and I heard something fall on the floor and Jay starting to laugh and I turned round and saw Jay have pushed his plate and cup on the floor and he started to babble loudly which made me chuckle.
“I’ve got to go. I’ll see you later and I love you.” Jack said and kissed me which I returned and Jack walked over to Jay and he kissed the top of his head and he walked back over to me and kissed me again.
“Love you too.” I said and I got Jay out his high chair and we went to the sitting room window and watched Jack drive off to work.
“Go and play for a while, daddy got to sort your mess out.” I said as I put Jay on the floor and put some kids show on for him and left him to his own devices as I went to the kitchen making sure the child gate is across.
I heard Terri walk down the stairs and the front door opening and shutting and her car starting and Luna came out to the kitchen and she walked over to me and hugged me from behind which felt strange as it was only Jack you did this to me.
“I’m sorry for slapping you Lex.” Luna said quietly and I smiled as I turned round.
“It’s fine.” I whispered and Luna let me got and I turned round.
“I need to go to the studio, fancy coming with me and we can talk and take the little bugger out as well.” I said and Luna smiled as she nodded.
“Get yourself sorted and I’ll get myself and Jay sorted and we’ll get going.” I said and Luna walked off and I went to the sitting room and picked Jay up to much of his disgust and I got myself and him dressed.

We was in the studio where Luna was looking after Jay for me while I looked through emails and I sighed loudly as I lent back in the chair and just had a long hard think on what I was going to do now.
“Lex.” I heard Luna say and I turned round and looked at her.
“Where’s Jay?” I sniffed and Luna smiled slightly.
“He is making his way here.” Luna said and I smiled and Jay walked round the corner using the wall as support.
“Why didn’t you tell me he was walking!” I said happily and Luna chuckled as she smiled and stood next to me and we watched Jay walk round the door.
“Because Jay wanted to surprise you and show you what he can do.” Luna said and I smiled as I walked over to Jay and sat on the floor and opened my arms up and Jay looked at me unsure.
“You can do it baby.” I said and Jay gingerly let go of the wall and wobbly walked over to me.
“You’re such a clever little man.” I said as I held him close to me.
“There’s going to be no stopping him now. That’s it, it’s nothing but trouble from now on.” Luna said as she sat next to me and I chuckled.
“Can we talk Lex? Like some really heavy talking?” Luna asked and I nodded.

“I know we have no choice but to turn dads life machine off but what’s going to happen to us?” Luna said quietly.
“I don’t know. Jack wants to go to the states to see his family and I don’t know if I want to say to him that I want to move out there or stay in England. The only thing that keeps me from leaving the UK is you. We have nothing left here now but each other.” I said and Luna sighed.
“Terri wants to move back to Wales and she wants me to go with her.” Luna said and I looked at her.
“But you’re still a child Luna.” I said and Luna smiled.
“I know Lex, but I want to go with her but I’m scared because like you said I’m still a child. If you go to the states I have nobody to run to if something happens.” Luna said and Jay offered Luna his dummy which made her smile.
“Come with me and Jack. Stay with us in the states until your 18 then you can come back here if you want to come back or you can stay in the states. Up to you really.” I said and Luna sighed again.
“You really going to go to the states?” Luna asked and I shrugged my shoulders.
“I was just thinking that if I was going to go crazy, I need more than just Jack to keep me grounded and I can’t trust myself with Jay if something like that was too happen.” I said and Luna nodded.
“What about this? Dad put his heart and soul into the studio, don’t want to give this all up if you move.” Luna said and I sighed.
“I don’t know Luna. I mean we could own the business and let someone else run it and all that stuff. That way we can still get a say in the business and we don’t need to sell it and we get the money as well.” I said and Luna looked at me.
“Jesus you have a brain, quite scary when you us it.” Luna said and I chuckled.
“Is that what you want to do?” I asked and Luna nodded.
“Yes.” Luna whispered and I nodded.
“Okay, that’s the business sorted. The next thing is you.” I said and Luna looked down and I made her look at me.
“I know you are slipping back into your old habits.” I said and Luna sighed.
“Yeah I’m slipping Lex. But I’m not going back to the barely 5 stone girl that I was when mum died.” Luna said and I frowned.
“I’m maintaining weight Alex, as long as I’m maintaining then I’m not doing any harm to myself. I don’t exercise as much as I used to. I only run for an hour in the morning and in the evening if I have had a bad day. I’ve never eaten breakfast but I’m eating lunch and dinner as well now Lex. I am getting better.” Luna said and I smiled at her.
“What about you? How you coping?” Luna asked.
“I’m coping but I dunno I feel like I could lose it.” I said quietly and looked up and Jay was playing with some toys we had here for him.
“Does Jack know?” Luna asked and I shrugged my shoulders.
“He knows something is happening but he can’t work it out and I’m not helping myself by not saying anything.” I said and Luna smiled.
“Do we need to get the crisis book out?” Luna asked and I chuckled and shook my head.
“Nope. I’ve got this.” I said and I stood up.
“Where you going?” Luna asked and I picked Jay up who whined.
“Coming to the park with us?” I asked and Luna nodded and we went to the park.

———————————————————————————————————————
Jay was in bed so we all was sat outside enjoying the warm weather.
“We need to think about what we’re doing to dad.” I said as I didn’t want to talk about this without either Terri or Jack by our sides.
“Thought you and Luna talked about this?” Terri asked and Jack looked at her.
“I need to have Jack by my side when I say what I have to say.” I said quietly and Jack caught hold of my hand.
“Luna I need you to have a say in this as well but I believe that if dad couldn’t be saved then he would rather have machine turned off than keep a bed away from somebody who really needs the bed.” I said as I looked at Luna and she had tears rolling down her face.
“I agree Lex.” Luna sobbed and I smiled at her.
“What you’re not going to fight for your dads life?” Terri asked and Jack squeezed my hand to silently tell me to wait.
“My dad is brain dead Terri. There’s nothing nobody can do.” Luna said.
“There could be a chance he wakes up. One day he could wake up Luna, why can’t you see that?” Terri asked.
“There is no chance Terri! My mum had a chance to wake up but she didn’t and even if she was still alive today she would be in nothing but pain! So I would rather my dad died and me knowing that he is not in pain than hold on to the fact that he going to wake up when everybody knows he is never going to wake up!” Luna shouted and I stood up and went over to Luna and pulled her into my side.
“You need to get the fuck out of my house right now.” I said seriously and Jack noticed my change in mood.
“Alex, breath and let me deal with this.” Jack said and I looked at him and for once I listened to him and I went down towards the pool and took my socks off and rolled my jeans up and put my feet in the water.
I don’t know how long I was down there for but Jack came over and he picked me up and took me to the sitting room.

“Baby you okay?” Jack asked softly and I shrugged my shoulders.
“I don’t know what to do Jack. I just don’t know what to do.” I sobbed as I started to cry and Jack pulled me into his side and I just cried.
“You have made the hard decision. Now the rest is up to you.” Jack said softly and he kissed the top of my head softly.
“We agreed to keep the business but get someone to run it for us.” I sobbed and I looked at Jack who smiled softly at me.
“When we have turned the machine off, I want to move to the states.” I said and Jack looked at me shocked as I was always dead against going.
“I’m going to hit a really low depressive, I know it because I can feel Jack and I don’t want to be here. I want to have people around me who I know can look after Jay for me when I can’t.” I said as some tears rolled down my face.
“What about Luna?” Jack asked and I sighed.
“She can either come with us or she can stay here and live with Terri.” I said quietly.
“Okay. What about the house?” Jack asked and I shrugged my shoulders.
“I don’t fucking know Jack, sell or rent it, it doesn’t fucking matter as long as I’m out of this bloody house.” I said and Jack nodded.
“Bath and bed?” Jack asked and I nodded as I moved from Jack side and stood up.
Jack did the same and he pulled me close to him.
“Baby you sure you want to move?” Jack asked quietly and I sighed and shook my head.
“I don’t know Jack. My head is telling me one thing and my heart is telling me another thing and I just don’t know what to do Jack. My mind is just racing around and it’s not making much sense.” I said and Jack smiled at me and he bent down and picked me up which made me giggle slightly.

After we had a bath we was lead in bed where I was cuddled into Jack’s side, Jay was up and cooing to himself so we just left him to it as he would fall asleep soon.
“Feels nice to have the bed back.” I said and Jack chuckled as he started to mess with my hair.
“Yeah it does, means that I can push you off me when I get hot and not worry about squishing little man.” Jack said and I looked at him.
“What? It gets very hot under the covers when your lead on me and I need to take the covers of me because your like really hot at night.” Jack said and I smirked at him.
“Also it means if I get a boner as well I can just wake you up and have my way with you.” Jack said and I just rolled my eyes at him.
“You’re disgusting.” I said as I lead my head down on Jack shoulder.
“Yeah but you love me really.” Jack said and I smiled as I kissed his shoulder.
“Yeah I love you lots.” I said quietly.
I felt round for the covers and pulled them up to over my shoulders.
“Really Lex? It’s fucking boiling under here.” Jack moaned.
“Stop whining will you.” I mumbled.
“Just move the covers down to your waist. Please I don’t want to cook tonight.” Jack said and I shook my head and Jack groaned loudly and he moved away from me.
“Come back and give me cuddles.” I said and Jack rolled over so his back was to me.
“Baby give me cuddles.” I whined as I moved closer to Jack but Jack wasn’t moving.
“Baby please.” I begged and Jack sighed as he rolled over and looked at me.
“You want cuddles you cuddle me and the covers stay below the waist.” Jack said and I sighed as Jack rolled over so his back was too me again.
“Since when did we have rules on cuddling and where the covers go.” I said sarcastically as I cuddled into Jack’s back which felt wrong in my eyes.
“Since I get really hot.” Jack mumbled.
“Babe be big spoon.” I said and Jack sighed loudly.
“Roll over then.” Jack said and I smiled smugly to myself as I rolled over and Jack cuddled into my back.

“Now shut up and go to sleep.” Jack said as he kissed the back of my head and I settled down for the night.

Notes

Is anyone even reading this or am I wasting my