Touch of winter

[First person POV Olivia]

~ Alex Gaskarth.

My witty, Best friend thought of me as nothing more than a mear sister and I, Undeniably, In love with him, Had to sit time after time watching him fall for other girls. Then get hurt.

"It happened again?" I questioned, as he was standing at my door, dead of winter, tear tracks down his cheeks.

"I should just start listening to you Liv..." He sighed, I wanted to, with every once of me, tell him 'no shit' but I simply couldn't. The infatuation I have with this boy prevented any sort of conflict my mind told me to use.

"It's okay, Lex... Come in, I have hot chocolate almost ready" He nodded briskly before stepping out from the bitter winter wind outside and into the toasty abode.

"She was pompous, a succubus, and her ignorance was uncanny" I mumbled with the rip of the mug resting my bottom lip, for it still being too hot to consume, Alex chortled "You and your big confusing words, confusing me and stuff" I giggled at his cluelessness.

Man, I loved this boy, But I could tell by the way he looked at me that he thought nothing of me, I was too grotesque anyhow, for anyone to have even the slightest attraction to me.

"I should teach you, So you can sound intelligent while insulting the uncultivated people who do you wrong" I stated dramatically "What did you just say?" Alex mused "Its another word for being un-intelligent" I indicated, he nodded in understatement.

We chatted for a while longer until he had to leave.

"Goodbye my smart best friend" Alex smirked
"Until we meet again my whimsical best friend" I retorted smartly, he chortled and descended down the hall out back into the blistering cold.

I was then left pondering in my dark thoughts. Thoughts I was too selfless to bring up when Alex was in need because he had yet fallen for another nymphomaniac and I, as the reliable best friend, had to push any inconveniences of my own, to Aid to his. But now that I was alone, My thoughts showed no mercy.

He will never like you until you're thin.

Have you seen the girls Alex swoons over? You need to be as dainty and angelic at them

Maybe then he'll finally see your worth, Maybe then you'll have worth.

It's simple, Baggy sweaters, so mother won't notice, and no eating over 500 calories a day.

You'll work out every day.

You'll be perfect.

That was Ana... She knows best, I've been fighting her off for a while, But, I needed her. Alex Likes me for who I could be, If I tried hard enough, He doesn't like me the way I am he likes me the way I'm not and the way I could be.

And just like that. I fell into a cycle of portion control and working out.

But it's okay because this was only to lose weight. I would be fine.

Notes

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