I woke up the next morning and tried to move, but was held down by Alex’s arm. I smiled to myself and tried to keep the squeal of joy that was building, escape from my lips. I slowly moved his arm and got up and made my way to the guest room. I looked myself in the mirror and ran my hand through my dark red hair in attempt to comb it out. I adjusted my shirt and decided that was the best I was going to look for right now. When I got downstairs, I was met with the smell of coffee. I walked into the kitchen and saw Rian sitting at the table drinking a cup of coffee and reading the paper.

“Good morning, Blake.” He smiled, setting down the sports page.

“Good morning, Rian. Mind if I make a cup?” I asked, gesturing to the coffee maker.

“Not at all, help yourself. Cups are in the cabinet right above the maker. Milk is in the fridge and sugar is right here on the table.”

“Thank you.” I made my coffee and took a seat across from Rian. We sat in a comfortable silence, just drinking our coffee. “So,” I said after a while. “Alex asked me to join you guys on tour.”

“He did?” I nodded. “Are you going to?” He asked, sounding excited.

“Yeah, I am.” I smiled.

“That’s awesome. You will have so much fun. Kara and Arabella go too, so you won’t be the only girl there.”

“Thank God for that.” I laughed. I found that these guys were a bunch of jokers and I found myself warming up to them really well. I mean I was already part of the All Time Low family. I sighed to myself, family. I have to face mine eventually today and I really didn’t want to do that. As mad as I was am at my parents, I still love them and leaving them was going to be hard.

Rian noticed my sudden change of emotion. “Hey are you okay?” He asked

I sighed and took a sip of my coffee. “I guess, but not really.” I chuckled because that made sense in my head, but not so much out loud and Rian’s confused look confirmed my thoughts and I chuckled again. “I have to tell my parents that I am leaving, which means I have to talk to them and I still don’t want to do that.”

“Everything will be okay Blake. Alex is going with you right?” He asked

“Yeah.”

“You’ll be fine.”

I turned when I heard noise coming from the kitchen entry way. Alex stood there in a simple white v-neck shirt and black basketball shorts, he was also was wearing his famous black beanie. I smiled at him and then turned back to my coffee. Rian excused himself which left just Alex and I in the kitchen. Before getting himself coffee, he fed Sebastian and Payton. He sat down next to me and took a sip of his steaming cup.

“When do you want to go back to your place?” He asked.

“Um, I’m not sure. I was kinda thinking that we do it soon, that way I can just get it over with.” I said.

“Do you want to go now?”

“Sure, I guess.”

Alex got up from the table and I followed him to the living room, we said bye to Rian and went out to his car. The drive to my house was a quiet event, the only time either one of us spoke was when I was giving directions and he was asking questions. I was worried about how my parents were going to react to my disappearance and the news I was going to drop on them.

Too soon for my liking, Alex pulled into my driveway and shut off the engine. I took a deep breath and looked at him, begging for him to just take me back to his place.

“Come on Blake, the sooner you get this done, the quicker we can go back to my place.” He said, reading my mind.

I just nodded and got out of the car slowly. Before walking up to the door, I grabbed Alex’s hand for support. We walked slowly up the walk to the door, where my mother was standing tears running down her face.

“Blake O’Riley, where were you!” She shouted as she opened the screen door.

“I was at Alex’s house.” I said quietly. No need to start lying now.

“Who’s Alex?” My father asked, peeking out from behind my mother.

I shifted nervously and motioned to the boy standing next to me. “This is Alex. You guys know who he is. You know the band All Time Low that I listen to?” I asked. They both nodded and I blushed because Alex looked at me. I never told him that I was a huge fan of his band. “Well he’s the lead singer of the band. Alex Gaskarth.”

Dad, being the gentleman that he is, sticks out his hand to Alex. “Hello Alex, it’s nice to meet you.”

Alex shook my father’s hand and said hello. My mom just looked him up and down. She held the door open, a sign that she wanted us to come in. I took a deep breath and walked into my house, Alex followed closely behind me. I have never been so awkward in my own house before, but today I was.

“So Blake, care to explain why you ran off last night?” My father asked, sitting down next to my mother.

“I ran off because you guys threw the worst news at me on my birthday. Why did you guys have to tell me I was adopted on my birthday?” I said, trying to keep my cool.

“Because we though it was time for you to know.” My mother said quietly.

“On my birthday, really? Did you guys really not expect me to react badly to that? To finding out that the people that I have called my parents for the past eighteen years of my life aren’t actually my parents?” I huffed. Alex squeezed my hand that was still in his.

“When else should we have told you?” my mom asked, tears now running down her face.

“I don’t know. Anytime would have been okay, I’m mature enough to understand.”

“Apparently not mature enough.” My dad said.

“Dad, can you blame me for running away? I was told I was adopted. Imagine if Grammy and Gramps told you that you were adopted on your birthday. You wouldn’t react well either.”

“Yes, well you had no right going off like that. You had us worried sick.” My mom added.

“Yes and you were at some random guy’s house. What if something would have happened?” Dad said.

“Dad, I’m eighteen. I can make my own decisions and one of them was to go home with Alex. I had no where else to go.”

“You could have gone to Larisa’s.” Mom said

“You would have found me there. The whole point to running away was to keep away from you two.”

Dad was glaring at Alex now and I wasn’t going to have that. “Dad, stop glaring at Alex. He didn’t do anything.”

“He used you.” He said.

“Excuse me?” Alex said suddenly. “How did I use her? I offered her a place to stay when she was just sitting out on the streets.”

“I bet you tried to force yourself on her.” My mother spat. “You are of course a rock star.”

“Mother! Alex did no such thing. In fact he was so sweet to me.” I said, smiling over at him. “He and his friends threw me a birthday party, unlike you two.” I was beyond pissed now.

“He’s just trying to get in your pants dear.” My father added.

“Dad, no he is not.”

“Sir, I have no intentions of doing anything close to what you and your wife are suggesting I’ve done.” Alex said. I could tell that he was getting a bit upset.

Enough was enough, this was why I didn’t want to do this. My parents had their way of thinking and I was sick of it. I pulled my hand out of Alex’s and stood up.

“Mother, father. I am moving out. I am also going on tour with Alex and his band and there is nothing you guys can do to stop me, I am eighteen now.”

My father’s eye’s bugged out of his head and my mother broke down in tears. I looked over to Alex who smiled softly at me. “Alex, come with me.” I said heading up the stairs and to me room.

I walked into my small room and looked around, a sad smiled on my lips. I was going to miss my parents, but this was what I needed at the moment. I went to my closet and pulled out my suitcase set that I had and began packing my clothes. Alex walked into my room and laid on my bed. It was weird, we had just met and here I was packing my things to go move in with him and then I will be touring with him and his friends.

About ten minutes later I took a step back from everything and smiled. All my clothes were packed away, along with some key things from my room. I quickly went into my bathroom that was connected to my room and grabbed everything I was going to need out of there and threw it into the small suitcase. I looked around one last time and then smiled at Alex.

“I’m all packed.” I smiled.

“You don’t want to take that poster?” He asked, pointing to the one of All Time Low that I had gotten at one of their concerts.

I blushed. “Nah, what’s the point? I’m going to be living with two of them and probably seeing the other two everyday.” I chuckled.

“True.” He laughed. “Are you sure you have everything?”

“Yeah I’m sure.”

Alex grabbed my larger suitcase and I grabbed the other one and we made our way back downstairs. Dad was now sitting at the dining room table, a glass of Irish whiskey in his hands. Mom was no where to be found.

“You mother is in our room. She wants to see you.”My father said, his accent thick.

“You can head out to the car. I’ll be there in a minute or two.” I said to Alex as I made my way down the hall to my parent’s room.

I knocked on their closed door softly and waited for permission to enter. Seconds later mom opened the door, her eyes bloodshot from crying.

“Oh mom.” I said giving her a hug. “I love you.”

“I love you too, sweetie.” She pulled away from me and smiled sadly. “The reason I wanted you to come in here was, I have something for you. I knew you were going to want to know about your true parents. So,” she took a shaky breath. “So, over the past eighteen years I have been receiving information for you on your parents and Limerick.” She pulled a shoe box out from underneath her bed and handed it to me. “Everything that I have received is in that box, including some of your things from your home in Ireland that were salvaged from the fire.” Tears were running down my face as I took the box from her. I carefully placed the box on the comforter and threw my arms around the woman that I have called mom for the past eighteen years. She hugged me as tight as I was hugging her. “Please don’t be mad at us honey, we told you because you deserved to know.”

“Mom, I could never really hate you guys. You have been the best parents ever. I promise to keep in touch with you guys and when we come back from tour I’ll come visit, I promise.”

“You better.” She kissed my forehead and hugged me tight again. “I love you Blake.”

“I love you too mom.”

“Alright, now go say goodbye to your father.”

I nodded and took the shoebox off the bed and went back into the dinning room. Dad’s cup was full again and this time the bottle was sitting beside him on the table. I sighed and walked over to him and took the bottle. I screwed on the top and placed it back in the cabinet where he got it from. I took the seat across from him and waited.

“Daddy, I’m not leaving forever. Like I told mom, I’ll come visit when we get back from tour.” Dad looked at me and I saw the tears that were in his eyes. Never have I seen my father cry.

“We love you Blake, you know that right?” He asked quietly.

“Yes I know that and I love you guys too.” I got up and sat on his lap like I did when I was a child. I kissed his cheek and smiled when he tickled my side. “I’m going to miss you guys.”

“Here, take this.” My dad reached behind his neck and unclipped his Cross necklace and placed it around my neck. “Now I will be with you wherever you go.”

I smiled as I played with the cross. “Thank you dad, I love you.”

“I love you too baby. Now go on and get, but please call every so often so we know you are okay.”

“I will daddy.” I yelled goodbye to my mother one last time and walked out of the house that I had called home for the past eighteen years.

When I got into Alex’s car, we were silent. I kept rubbing my hands up and down the shoebox sitting in my lap. Alex backed out of the driveway and we made our way home.

“What’s in the box, Blake?” Alex asked after a little while.

“I’m not sure, my mom gave it to me. She told me that there were things from my house in Ireland in it and information about my parents.”

“Are you going to open it?”

“Not right now, I want to do it alone.”

“I understand completely.”

I smiled at him and continued to stare at the box. The rest of the ride back to my new home was a silent one. When we got back to Alex and Rian’s place, there were cars in the driveway. Alex informed me that they were having a meeting for the tour and he invited me, but I declined saying that I wanted to get settled in my room.

When we walked in the door, I said hello to everyone and made my way upstairs. I didn’t really bother unpacking my suitcase because Alex said tour was soon and I was just going to have to repack everything. I did however take out the things that I was going to need everyday, I also got out a change of clothes. Once I was changed, I crawled onto the bed and stared at the shoebox in front of me.

What was in there? Will I learn about my real mom and dad? Will I regret looking in here?

These were the questions that were running through my head as I reached for the box. Before opening it I took a deep breath, and then I slowly removed the lid. Sitting right on top was a picture of me and two people. We were at the hospital. How did I know? You ask, well I was wrapped up in a pink baby blanket and my mom was sitting in a hospital bed. Suddenly tears running down my face, these were my parents. I turned the picture over to see if there was anything there that would tell me more. Finds out there was, writing on the top was: Deaglan, Shawna, and new daughter Blake Anne Connolly. September 25, 1992. Deaglan and Shawna Connolly were my birth parents. I turned the picture over and studied the faces of my parents. Mom was beautiful; she had dark red hair, green eyes, and a beautiful smile. Dad was a handsome fella, he had brown hair and hazel eyes, his smiled was a contagious one. He also had the traditional Irishman beard.

I looked over at my reflection in the mirror by the door. Looking at the picture and then myself, I can see the resemblance between Deaglan, Shawna, and I. I had my mother’s dark red hair and smile. I had my father’s eyes. I wondered what their personalities were like and if I was anything like them. I smiled through my tears and placed the picture on the night stand next to the bed.

I looked to the box and the next thing I pulled out was a charred piece of a pink blanket…my baby blanket. I pulled the piece of cloth up to my nose and took a sniff, but all I could smell was smoke and dust. There were no hints of perfumes or any clues to what my parents were like. There were more pictures of my and my parents, just me, just my mom, just my dad, and some of both of them. I continued to dig through all the photos and came across a newspaper article. Courious, I pulled it out and looked it over. It was the local paper in my hometown. I wonder why this was saved. I quickly skimmed through it and my eyes about bugged out of my head. This is what it said:

Limerick, Ireland- Music star Deaglan Connolly and his lovely wife Shawna are now the proud parents of a healthy baby girl. Blake Anne Connolly was born yesterday at eleven p.m., weighing a healthy 7lbs and 3 oz. Deaglan and Shawna met back in 1987 at the music awards where Deaglan was proforming and Shawna was working for our newspaper. They began talking and just two short years later were married. Now three years later they are welcoming their first child into their family. We spoke with mother and father and both are very excited to call themselves parents. Deaglan will take a break from touring to be with his new family. We want to wish the happy couple our congratulations.

My father was a musician and my mother was a writer. How cool is that? I placed the article to the side and continued to look through the box. I came across yet another article, so I took that one out to read it. This one made me instantly break into tears.

FIRE DESTROYS SINGER’S HOME

Limerick, Ireland- Around three a.m Tuesday morning fire officials received a phone call from the Connolly residence reporting a fire. Deaglan and Shawna Connolly’s home caught fire in the early morning. Police and fire officials are still investigating the cause of fire. We are sad to report though that Deaglan and his wife did not make it. They were trying to save their daughter when the roof collapsed and pinned the couple causing them to perish in the flames. Blake barely survived, she was rushed to the county hospital when officials arrived. No arrangements have been made yet for burials, but Deaglan Connolly’s rep asks that everybody please respect the family’s wishes.

It was my fault they died, if they didn’t have to save me they would still be here. I grabbed the pillow from next to me and covered my face to muffle the sobs that were racking my body. My father was a successful singer with fans ands and tours, and I took all that away from him. Mom was a writer, I have no idea how good of one she was, but still. I took away their lives.

There was a light knock on my door, but I was still sobbing so I couldn’t answer. The door opened slowly and Zack poked his head in.

“Hey, Alex-“ He froze when he saw me curled into a ball and balling my eyes out. “Uh…do you want me to go get Alex?” I just simply nodded and continued to sob. Seconds later Alex was walking in the room, shutting the door behind him.

“Hey,” he said, sitting on the bed next to me. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s all my fault.’ I sobbed.

“What is?” He asked, confused.

“My parents’ death. If they didn’t have to save me then they would still be alive, living their lives.”

Alex grabbed my arm and pulled my into a sitting position, he then pulled me into his lap. He ran his hands up and down my back, trying to calm me down. “Blake, you can’t blame yourself for what happened. It was an accident, they were trying to save the one thing they loved.”

I cried quietly. “But-but they had lives and I took theirs away.”

“You didn’t kill them Blake. You were only five months old, there was nothing you could do.”

“He was a musician and she was a writer. Dad took time off from his tour to stay with us, if he would have just gone on tour after I was born then maybe I would still have him.” I sobbed.

“Blake, I know what you are going through and I promise you that it’s not your fault and it will all get better.”

I sniffed and looked up into his brown eyes, “You do?” I asked in a small voice. He nodded and started off into space.

“When Daniel died I blamed myself. I felt that it was all my fault he killed himself because I was so focused on the band and not on anything else. I had the hardest time coping with that, but I eventually realized there was nothing that I would have been able to do for him.”

“Oh, Alex I had no idea.” I wrapped my arms around his neck. “I’m so sorry.”

“Thanks, and I promise it will get better.”

I laid my head on Alex’s chest and continued to cry quietly, all the while Alex was rubbing my back and whispering soothing words in my ear. Suddenly his soothing words turned to lyrics I soon recognized.

Make it a sweet, sweet goodbye -
it could be for the last time and it's not right.
"Don't let yourself get in over your head," he said.
Alone and far from home we'll find you...

Dead - Like a candle you burned out;
spill the wax over the spaces left in place of angry words.
Scream - To be heard, like you needed any more attention;
throw the bottle, break the door, and disappear.

Sing me to sleep, I'll see you in my dreams,
waiting to say, "I miss you. I'm so sorry."

Forever's never seemed so long as when you're not around
it's like a piece of me is missing.
I could have learned so much from you but what's left now?
Don't you realize you shot this family a world of pain?
Can't you see there should have been a happy ending we let go?

Sing me to sleep, I'll see you in my dreams,
waiting to say, "I miss you. I'm so sorry."

Sing me to sleep.
Sing me to sleep.
Sing me to sleep.
Sing me to s...

Sing me to sleep
I'll see you in my dreams
waiting to say, "I miss you. I'm so sorry."
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Those words caused my to cry harder. “Sh, Blake. Everything will be okay.” Alex whispered, his voice husky.

I looked up and through my own tears I saw Alex’s eyes filled with his own. I hugged him tighter and he continued to sway back and forth. Finally, a little later, I had stopped crying. He asked me if I wanted to be alone but I told him that I didn't want to be alone. I laid there in his arms while he sang me to sleep.

Notes

sorry for it being so long guys :/

i wrote this forever ago, and i never realized how long it was.