Just Another Reason I Could Never Forget You

John had completed his recording for the day, and I had lingered around the edges, waiting for someone not in the bands to make an appearance, texting Marissa on and off and including pictures of John at random intervals. Did I not mention he was wearing the most ridiculous “Santa” outfit I’d ever seen? Legit an oversized red suit with no shirt underneath. That right there was cause to be sending my best friend pictures all day. She got a kick out of it too. Especially given it was November.
I knew all the guys, in passing at least, and so I always had someone to say hi to, but they were all super busy pretty much all day and so I spent a while waiting for someone else to show. When Justin’s girlfriend showed around 6, I leaped at her almost and suddenly the rest of the day passed much quicker. Anna was fun and, again, we knew each other in passing, but the pair of us needed someone to talk to fairly badly and so we stayed by each other, starting slowly on the beer she’d been tasked with bringing. I’m pretty sure I sound like I drink too much, but tour time tended to get boozy and really John and I only drank the occasional beer at home unless all the guys got together. There were too many Arizona based bands we knew, so there was always a homecoming to celebrate but really that was once a month or so, nothing like high school.
Now that John was done, however, it had begun to turn into a celebration. Honestly, it was The Maine’s homecoming we were celebrating right now, so it tended to get a little heavy and Kennedy was always on hand to encourage me to drink more. Fortunately, he didn’t know to hand me shots of Jager and get me royally fucked. They all knew I had a slight weakness for it, but none had seen the way I could put it back when I put my mind to it.
“Okay, we need a beer run,” I sighed, looking over the pathetic amount of beer that Anna had actually brought and it wasn’t enough considering there were at least two other bands showing in the next hour (Justin had invited his bandmates from A Rocket to the Moon and Kennedy had called the guys from The Summer Set, plus whoever showed up with them) and Kennedy and I had already been drinking too much and we needed some sort of hard liquor. I know I said ‘beer run’ but that definitely covered the large bottle of vodka I was going to pick up when I was out regardless.
“And who’s going?” Kennedy laughed. “I didn’t agree to that.” I rolled my eyes at him as the other looked at me expectantly. I held back a small sigh before turning to John and pouting.
“Johnny,” I cooed. Kennedy laughed again, but didn’t offer any help. John, however, began rummaging in his pockets for his keys.
“You guys are so lucky I haven’t been drinking yet,” he mumbled and I grinned widely.
“Thank you, sweetie,” I smiled up at him. “I promise I’ll help.”
“Yeah, yeah, if you say so.” I followed him from the house, trying not to be too annoying too early, though hopping into the passenger seat and immediately fiddling with the radio as he turned on his car. I knew this was normal, low-level irritating, and John was simply used to it from our day to day interactions, so he didn’t bat an eye as he drove to the store, resting a hand on my knee as we moved along.
I grabbed a cart when we pulled up, once again following behind John as he made his way into the store ahead of me. I leaned into it, pushing forward and letting my feet leave the ground to catch up with John, who merely laughed as I sailed past him.
“Do you even need any more alcohol?” He asked, still laughing.
“Yes,” I told him, stopping to look him dead in the eye. “I have a nice buzz and I could stop, but I get super fun when I get wasted.” I winked at him, to show him one kind of fun I meant, but really I was going to get wasted and make a fool of myself more than anything. For all I drank with these guys, I hadn’t really partied with most of them. Before now, I’d held back at least a little so I didn’t drunkenly call Alex, whereas tonight I wasn’t afraid I would drunkenly call him, as I knew I’d be too wrapped up in John to bother.
“Am I going to have to carry you home?”
“Hey, I can always walk home, it just takes a little while sometimes. Especially if you give me that bottle of vodka,” I told him, pointing out a ridiculously sized bottle in front of us as we turned into the right aisle.
“Hmm,” he replied, seeming unconvinced as he pulled me into him briefly. “You know, I’m always happy to carry you wherever you need to go.” I grinned up at him, my heart fluttering. This was it, this was why I’d fallen so quickly for him these past few weeks. I mean, if you asked him, the two years beforehand meant I hadn’t fallen quickly at all, but for me I had stubbornly refused to fall before now and once I’d allowed myself to, it had been quick.
“Of course I know. I’ve always known, and I won’t forget it.”
“I love you,” he smiled, brushing a hair away from my face. My heart stopped its fluttering, stopped altogether almost, knowing now was the time I’d been waiting for since the other day.
“I—”
“I know, you want vodka,” he laughed, kissing me swiftly before turning away.
“I mean, I—” I sighed as he continued down the aisle, looking for the regular-sized vodka he had assumed I wanted. I did want it, but it spoiled what I’d been trying to say, and so I kept it in. There were plenty of other times I would be able to say this to him, and I knew I was only rushing to tell him now because I was terrified it would turn into the mess Alex and I made if I tried to keep it quiet. I just wanted to tell him already, but it could wait.
“You’re back!” Kennedy grinned as John and I returned more than 30 minutes later, both laden with more alcohol than was reasonably acceptable for five people to drink in a single evening. I was letting loose, sue me.
“You’re only happy to see me ‘cause I bought booze,” I grumbled, shoving a bottle of something at him, which he gladly accepted without looking at it, of course.
“And lots of it too,” he chuckled.
“I’m spoiling you guys for once, instead of stealing all your beer.”
“My favourite part is you brought our friend back too.”
“I need him for his car for now,” I replied, rolling my eyes. “I’m getting a new car when we get back, alright? Besides, I’ve been drinking.” I continued walking through the house after John, Kennedy in tow continuing to ramble on and probably looking for something to mix his alcohol with.
“How the fuck do you afford a two bedroom apartment, a metric ton of booze, and a new car?” He asked, a little flabbergasted. I felt the need to shift uncomfortably, but was unable to do so with my arms laden.
“I got a little saved,” I replied.
“Don’t give me that, I know what we pay you,” he laughed. I began unloading onto the kitchen counter, doing my best to either ignore him or think of a suitable excuse. However, Kennedy was a little tipsy already and his mouth kept moving. “Honestly, I don’t think what we pay even covers your fucking rent and utilities. Your place is nice, man.”
“My dad fucking pays my rent, alright?” I snapped back, completely incapable of finding an excuse that made sense. He ignored the snapping, laughing lightly at my words.
“Oh, my God, you’re just like Evie,” he laughed again. John was looking at me a little concerned, obviously not oblivious like Kennedy. “Her dad pays all her shit too. Her Mercedes, her rent for her nice apartment in Stanford, everything.” I scowled at him as he compared me to some rich, fancy girl he knew. I’d done my best to stay independent over the years, but sometimes you had to know when to accept help. My dad was a doctor, he had money, it didn’t make him hard up to pay my rent, but for me, for the last two years, it meant the difference between eating and not. “Hey, she’s my oldest friend, I don’t judge. I just didn’t know your folks had money is all.”
“My childhood home is next door to Mr Private-School-Gaskarth, after his parents stopped paying his tuition. What do you think?” I snapped again. “And don’t compare me to your friend. Unless she slept in her car for three months before her dad found out and went psycho, I’m nothing like her.”
“You never told me that,” John muttered and I felt his arm around my waist, pulling me back into him.
“I worked part time in a diner, I couldn’t afford shit in this place and I’d be damned if I asked anyone for help.” Kennedy had apparently shut up and currently looked somewhat ashamed of himself, though I doubted it would last long. I wasn’t angry at him, I just hadn’t expected to admit any of this.
“Sorry,” Kennedy muttered.
“Keep my cup filled and I don’t mind,” I shrugged, grinning at him. I told you, I wasn’t angry, it just threw me for a second there.
“Vodka?” He offered hopefully, tilting the bottle I had given him toward me, which turned out to be the bottle John had gone hunting for in the store for me. I laughed loudly, nodding. Kennedy passed me the bottle, shuffling from the room with a meek smile.
“You alright?” John asked quietly. I turned to look at him, seeing the look of concern in his eyes.
“Sing for me and I will be,” I told him, only half joking. He soothed me, fuck off.
“Is that your thing?” He chuckled.
“You singing? Of course it is.”
“December first, I’m in a foreign state, I’m runnin’ late, I’m all alone, wishing I was home with you, baby,” he sang softly. I put my hand to his cheek, feeling him leaning in and I smiled.
“You will be,” I promised quietly. “Just the two of us this year.” He hummed in acknowledgement, kissing my palm gently before turning back to his original position with his face in my hands. “Who’s it about?” I asked, genuinely curious. I wasn’t trying to hold it against him or start an argument, I just genuinely wanted to know what made him feel that way, though also glad to be off my small living-in-my-car phase.
“Hmm?” he paused for a second, taking in my words slower than I had said them. “No one, really,” he admitted. “Mostly, anyway. A little of you, a lot of no one. Mostly I was out of state, lonely, feeling the festive burnout more than normal and it came to me.”
“I miss you when you’re gone,” I told him, not really sure why it felt like some dark secret I was spilling to him when I’m pretty sure it was common knowledge. “I always have. I’m not really sure what to do when you’re not around, especially when you’re in another state.” He pressed a soft kiss to my lips at my words, I was hoping in an appreciative way.
“You promise me if you’re ever in a situation like that again, you’ll tell me, right?” He asked as he pulled back. It took a second for me to realise he had returned to my earlier admission, however I nodded as I figured it out.
“If there is anyone on this planet I’m going to tell when I need help, it’s you.”
“Promise me, Hol.”
“I promise, John. I swear to you, I’ll tell you the moment anything happens, good or bad.”

Notes

I'm taking bets on what you think is going to happen when Holly gets even more drunk than right now.