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Mibba

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Just Another Reason I Could Never Forget You

Two.

I had been wrong.
From the moment that the guys and I had arrived in Norfolk that morning, I found it difficult to breathe. The thought of facing Alex and Jack again pulled my stomach into knots. Alex, I thought, would either act like he didn’t know who I was, or attempt to plead for my forgiveness, and I wasn’t sure which one I wanted to happen least. Jack, on the other hand, would be furious with me. There was no question about it. Of all the things I could have done to him, leaving and refusing to speak to him or Marissa was the worst thing I could have done. I’d had enough teary voicemails from Marissa to know how upset she’d been at me leaving, so I knew Jack harboured untold anger for me for that alone.
I tugged at my long, sun-bleached hair as I was shown the way to The Maine’s tour bus, taking note of whose bus was whose, especially keeping an eye on All Time Low’s bus and making sure to place it intently in my memory so that it knew it was the one to avoid at all costs. The boys had taken to reassuring me since we’d boarded the flight that morning, making sure I knew that I wouldn’t need to interact with All Time Low if I didn’t want to. All I needed to do was show up, sell merch for them, and run back to their bus as quickly as I could. I knew, deep in my bones, however, that I couldn’t hide for the entire time I was here. I would have to show my face eventually.
“I love these fancy tours with their fancy busses,” Kennedy declared, throwing himself on to the sofa at the front of the bus. I snorted at him, throwing myself down next to him.
“I’m glad I didn’t sell merch for you when you lived in a van,” I told them from my seat.
“You do a crap job of it now, so that’s fine. We’re glad you didn’t sell merch for us then, too,” John smirked, sitting on top of my legs, which I’d lain out along the entire right side of the sofa. I rolled my eyes, squirming out from underneath him and kicking him swiftly as I did so.
“I sell merch perfectly well, thank you.” John stood up, moving himself so he was sat directly in my lap and I was unable to move. The four others laughed at us as I began to prod his sides in an attempt to get him to get off me. John remained where he was, unfazed by my attempt at making him move, listing off a variety of reasons why I was an awful merch girl for the band. I felt the nerves in my gut dissipate as I laughed along with the boys, thankful that I had all of them with me when I finally faced my old life again.
“Hey, what’s up?” A voice asked from the other side of the bus. I was still stuck solidly behind John and unable to move enough to see just who had entered the bus in the last couple of minutes. I heard a few greeting from the guys and scowled at John’s back, who was also now greeting the newcomer, still ignoring my jabs in his side.
“I would appreciate it, if you would get your fat ass off me,” I scolded John, who merely laughed in response.
“That’s Holly,” he told whoever this person was. “She’d introduce herself, but she makes a much better cushion than she does a conversationalist, and her face isn’t all that much to look at either.” I aimed another blow at John’s side, this time much harder than before, in retribution for his words.
“My face is fabulous to look at and you know it,” I growled as my blow hit its mark. John flinched this time, though still refused to move.
“Well, uh, it’s nice to meet you, Holly,” the newcomer laughed. “I just came over to invite you to the start of tour party tonight. You won’t be able to miss it, but we’ve convinced the other bands to buy far too much beer, and we’re all going to hang out in the dining area for a few hours before we leave. I know I can’t see your face, so I won’t recognise you if you do come, but, uh, you’re invited too Holly.” The boys all agreed with whoever this person was and I rolled my eyes. Whoever it was, their voice sounded familiar, and I was suddenly beginning to feel glad that John was blocking me from view. I had a feeling that this was one of the people I was deliberately avoiding. “Great! I’ll see you all after the show.”
“Bye, whoever you are!” I called from my position behind John, listening for the sound of the bus door closing. As soon as I heard it, John rolled off me and smiled meekly. I rolled my eyes. “Who was that?” I looked at them all suspiciously, though having a notion I knew them anyway.
“It was Zack,” Pat told me, leaning against a counter top in the kitchenette.
“I figured you didn’t want your cover blowing just yet,” John shrugged from next to me.
“Well, thank you, but next time I’d like to be left with feeling in my legs.” The others snickered and I smiled over at them. I was beyond grateful for all of them and everything they’d done for me and were continuing to do for me. I checked my watch, noting that it was past lunch time and that I’d really ought to get moving and set up for the guys. “Well, you guys get comfortable, I’m going to go do some real work.” I snatched my sunglasses from the table in front of me, and shoving them on my face so I could walk into the venue unmolested by my past life. I flashed my pass on the back door, thankful that the boxes of merch had already been brought inside previously and I just needed to set up the booth itself. The boxes had come in a day ahead of us, so I knew I was getting off lightly today and would need to start actually hauling them from the trailer as from tomorrow. I was looking forward to that less than the inevitable reunion I would be having with my High School best friends.
I began heaving the boxes into the right place, emptying them onto the table and setting up the display within minutes. I didn’t want to waste time and end up being caught out. I smiled at the techs as they bounded around me, busy setting up the venue ahead of tonight’s show and making sure we weren’t going to run into any issues. I plugged my headphones in, moving to the music as I set up the booth, allowing the sounds to wash over me and help me relax in my current environment. I’d been so tense, expecting one of the guys to creep up behind me at any second, but I was finally chilling out about it. What would happen would happen, and I couldn’t do anything to stop it. All I could do was hope Jack understood and that he and Marissa would forgive me. Everything else could go any which way and I wouldn’t mind.
“Gonna sink this ship tonight. Gonna see if hope really floats. I’ve got a feeling that it doesn’t. The water’s reaching for your thighs; the way you panic, well, it’s turning me on,” I sang to myself, when almost finished with the first box of merch. John always mocked the way I sang this song, telling me I didn’t need to turn him on with my tone alone. Apparently, my rendition was far too sexual and Jimmie and Dave had no intention of it being sung that way. I often told him to bite me about it. I felt a small tapping on my shoulder as the song continued and I continued to sing to myself, jumping when I felt the pressure. I quickly snagged the earbuds from my ears and turned to face whoever had interrupted me, hand on my chest in an attempt to subdue the pace of my heartbeat.
“Oh my God, Jack,” I screeched, seeing the lanky, dark haired boy standing in front of me with a cheesy grin on his face.
“Oh my God, Jasey!” He responded, mocking me. I laughed as I felt his arms making their way around me, pulling me into a hug and lifting me from the floor.
“Holy shit, I missed you,” I told him, clinging on to him as he held me.
“Oh, do not get me started on that right now, Jasey Rae.” Jack was still laughing as he placed me back down on the floor, but I couldn’t help but feel the guilt welling in my stomach at his words. I had never anticipated Jack being anything other than furious with me when he finally saw me, so I couldn’t express just how grateful I was that he was acting like my old best friend. But I still knew it had been a difficult couple of years for him, on the basis of how difficult it had been for me. “What are you doing here?”
“Well, clearly, setting up merch for The Maine,” I responded, playfully. He rolled his eyes, muttering about how that wasn’t what he meant at all. “You know Marissa tracked me down in Tempe. John and I have been friends pretty much since I moved there, so I figured I’d give him a helping hand when he asked.” His eyes narrowed at my words, and I realised that, in fact, none of the band knew Marissa had been successful in tracking me down. John had been the one to answer the door, and had told me all about Alex looking for a girl named Jasey and wondering who on earth that could be. Nobody knew I’d been in the apartment all along.
“So, she found you, and you still didn’t call?” I bit my lip, seeing how this could easily turn into Jack being angry at me. I knew that, out of everything, he was most angry that I had managed to cut Marissa out. He would always forgive me for his own sake, but I’d hurt her too, and that was more difficult for him to forgive.
“I… I couldn’t, Jack,” I whispered pathetically. “Those first couple of months, I knew if I called either of you, you’d convince me to come back. But I couldn’t face him. If I’d come back and spoken to him, I would have forgiven him and hated myself for it. And the longer I left it, the more I convinced myself that you and Maria hated me for what I’d done. I missed you both so much.” Jack relaxed visibly, clearly understanding what I had been through in the last few years, at least on some level.
“Hold on,” he muttered, fishing his phone from his pocket. He pressed a few buttons on the device before putting it to his ear. “Baby! I’ve got a surprised for you,” he cooed into the phone. I felt a smile spreading across my face at the way he interacted with my best friend. He still had so much love in his voice when he spoke to her and I was so glad that I had been right in assuming they were still together. They’d always been perfect for each other. Jack held his phone out to me and I grabbed it eagerly.
“Hello?”
“Marissa?” I asked, hesitantly, still grinning as I did so. “It’s me. It’s Jasey.”
“Oh my God, Jasey,” she screeched down the phone, making me laugh. I loved how the three of us had all reacted exactly the same as each other. “Where have you been? How did he find you? Holy fuck. Jasey!”
“I’ve been in Tempe. You super-sleuth, you; you found me, but my friend answered the door.”
Oh my God! I’m never sending Alex to do my dirty work ever again. Holy fuck. It’s you!” I laughed again at her reaction, eyeing Jack as he smiled at me. I bit my lip, genuinely happy to speak to her again. She and Jack were the only reasons I hadn’t backed out of this tour the moment I found out who was on it. I threw myself on one of the chairs in the booth, getting myself comfortable to speak to her.
“I missed you so fucking much,” I told her. “I mean, I spend all my days hanging around with boys who don’t get me.”
“Bail them all and come home to me,” she laughed. “I’m a girl and I get you.”
“I’d love to, but John Oh signed me up for this fucking tour with your boyfriend and now I can’t get out of it,” I laughed.
“1. You’re on tour with Jack? 2. Who’s this John Oh person? Is he cute? Tell me everything.” I snorted into the handset, looking over at Jack again who had placed his hands firmly in his pockets and was looking over his shoulder for something.
“Yes, I’m on tour with Jack. He didn’t disappear to Tempe and drag me out kicking and screaming. And John Oh is… I don’t know. I think the most apt phrasing is, he’s fucking adorable. I love him so much.” Jack’s head snapped around at my words and his hands lifted themselves from his pocket, rubbing the back of his neck instead.
“Oh, I missed you, Jasey,” Marissa told me, suddenly sniffling down the phone. My heart dropped at the sound and I couldn’t feel any worse for my actions than I did in that moment.
“I’m so sorry,” I told her, beginning to sniffle myself. “I didn’t mean to leave you. I just had to run. I needed to get away.” I felt tears beginning to run down my cheeks and wiped my face on the back of my hand.
“Stop it,” she said, still sniffling. “I’m happy you’re alive. Just tell me all about Arizona. Tell me all about John and just how cute he really is.” I sniffled again, laughing through my tears now.
“I’m not giving you a blow by blow on my life for the last two years. And if you want to see how cute John is, just fucking google The Maine. Those are my boys and John is the cutest one.”
“Really? You come on my tour after two years of ignoring me, with your new fucking boyfriend? Well, it’s nice to see you too, Jasey Rae.”
My head snapped up at the new, vicious voice that had joined the conversations, understanding Jack’s sudden change in demeanour. My stomach fell to the floor and I felt sick, looking into the angry eyes of the man who had broken me.

Notes

I mean, it's Alex's birthday. I have to update, right?

Comments

@settle for me.
Two words. Character Development. SHES SO SHALLOW RIGHT NOW. I've met people like her and they make my blood boil and skin crawl.
I'm not one to talk about stories being too long... it's difficult.

@gamble with desire.
I'm not sure Jasey knows what she wants to be honest. :')

@aweirdkindofyellow
I always forget how much you dislike her. But, you'll have to see how this goes! I need to cut a load of stuff I already have written because it doesn't fit in a chapter in a way that makes sense and I don't want to go on too long. The first time I wrote this sequel it was like... 17 chapters long, and now I'll be lucky if I finish under 50.

Ooooh yay she’s hitching a ride with Alex! I’m not happy John hurt her by breaking up with her, but I’m kinda glad he did it because he’s just been weird this whole time. And Jasey really wants to be with Alex, I can tell!

@settle for me.
I'm scared that Holly will get back together with Alex. I'm scared that she will continue to be a brat. I'm scared that she only cares about herself.