Just Another Reason I Could Never Forget You

“Holly!” My mother shrieked, flinging her arms around me in a wildly unnecessary hug. I’d made a point not to see my parents in the last couple of years, excluding the one time they came out to visit me when I dropped out of college (intent upon bringing me home, as if that would work), but I spoke to them regularly enough, so she’d known I was coming and didn’t exactly need catching up on anything. She still infuriated me, but she infuriated me much less now that I spent most of my time 2000 miles away.
“Hey, mom,” I smiled, hugging her back quickly before making my way inside. I was too tired to deal with the neighbours (specifically Alex’s parents, should they happen to be home), so I wanted to be inside as quickly as was possible. She ushered me through to the kitchen, pouring me a cup of coffee as I sat myself down at the breakfast bar. Marissa and I had struggled to sleep the night before, finally dozing around 4am, but it hadn’t lasted me long, having been woken up by the neighbours slamming their door at 7am. I missed being able to sleep through it.
“So, how is everything? What are you doing out here?” She poured her own cup of coffee once she handed me my own, but somehow I didn’t think she needed it. I think my being here was enough to make her jittery. I felt strangely happy about that. Considering we had a fraught relationship at best during my teenage years, it was nice to know I was missed and that my mother still loved me, despite all the havoc I had wreaked. I supposed that was what came with being someone’s mother.
“Everything’s fine,” I shrugged. “Same old, same old. The guys are doing good with the band, so I’m out here on tour with them. We have a break before the next show, so I figured I’d come home for a little bit.” I kept my explanation brief, deciding not to delve into the drama of being on tour with Alex and Jack, nor anything about John and I. I know plenty of girls discussed their love lives with their mother, but I always made such a mess of it, I tried to keep it away from her. I didn’t need her judgement on this, I already had it on everything else. Like I said, I loved her, but she was infuriating, especially when it came to my love life. I think Christmas with Alex and his parents proved that enough.
“Is that, um, what’s he called? John? Is he out with you?” I rolled my eyes into my cup on the counter so she wouldn’t see me and begin to tut at me. It had been less than five minutes and she was already butting into my love life, like I decidedly didn’t want her to. She’d met John when she came out, finding him in my apartment when she and my father began almost breaking my door down to tell me they had arrived. He’d grown on her rather quickly when she found out he was still in school, despite my dropping out. Apparently I needed a good influence.
“Well, the only band I’m that good friends with is his band, so, yes, he’s out here.”
“Oh, you should have brought him! He was sweet. You need sweet.” I openly rolled my eyes this time, gaining the aforementioned tutting I had predicted. She deserved it, butting in already. “Fine. I won’t show an interest in my daughter’s life.”
“Show interest,” I told her. “Just stop shoving boys at me.” I saw a small smile pulling at her mouth and relaxed, thankful this wasn’t going to turn into yet another of our arguments, which would result in me storming out. I didn’t need that right now. I just wanted a normal mother-daughter catch up for once in my life.
“Okay, no more interference. You pick your own boyfriend, just make him sweet and not like that Mike you brought home that time. Your father hated him.” I snorted softly, grinning over at her and assuring her I would never bring someone like Mike home again. Of the two (three?) boyfriends I had had in my life, Mike was the one I had learned the most from, in that I learned how to spot a self-involved asshole from a mile away.
My laughter with my mother was interrupted a couple of hours later by the doorbell ringing. We had moved from the kitchen to the living room and she had begun to fill me in on my aunt Mary’s disaster with her chihuahua, which she refused to give up despite its aggressive nature. It, of course, wasn’t the only thing we had discussed in the last few hours, but it was the conversation we were in the middle of when we were interrupted.
“Karen, is she here?” I heard from the doorway as my mom opened the door to whoever had interrupted us. I felt myself sag and want to hide at the same time as perking up as I heard the voice. Isobel and I had bonded quite a bit during my relationship with Alex and, while I didn’t know what she knew about the end of mine and Alex’s relationship, I could all but guarantee she had missed me in the last couple of years as I had her.
“Isobel!” I grinned, moving into the hallway to greet her before my mother could tell her if I was there or not. “It’s so good to see you.”
“Holly!” Alex’s mother hadn’t changed an ounce in the last couple of years, her hair and style still exactly the same as it had been, and her smile as wide and welcoming as ever. She moved past my mother, pulling me into a hug, before dropping back and looking me over. “You look great. I think that Arizona weather is good for you.” I glanced over at my mother with a worried look, as if she’d been telling everyone where I’d been the past few years, but she shook her head, telling me she hadn’t been the one to inform Isobel. I could only assume it was Alex.
“Thanks, Isobel,” I smiled back warmly. “It’s been great, but I’m glad to be back for a couple days.”
“You’ll have to catch me up.”
“Tea, Isobel?” My mother interrupted. “I was just about to put coffee back on for me and Holly.” She accepted gratefully, my mom closing the front door and moving to the kitchen as I showed Isobel through to the living room, where we’d previously been sat. It felt strange. I loved this woman, undoubtedly, but what did we have to discuss that didn’t involve my awful breakup with her son? Or my new relationship that Alex seemed so dead set against? Or perhaps my leaving for two years and ignoring every message her heartbroken son had sent? This didn’t seem like a good idea.
“So, how have you been? Alex mentioned you’re touring with them. How’s that been going?” I held back from gnawing my lip, trying not to give away my nerves at the discussion. There was a lot I wanted to say and a lot I decidedly did not want to say.
“I’ve been okay. I went out to Arizona for college, but it didn’t work out, so I’m helping out some friends I met out there. They’re one of Alex’s support acts.”
“Oh, yes, he mentioned. Those boys from Phoenix. He was so excited when he found out they were going to be touring with him.” She smiled once again, in somewhat of a reassuring way, but her words had made my stomach drop. It seemed like I’d been the reason for Alex and John not getting along, ruining John’s chances of making any reasonable sort of friendship on this tour. If I’d stuck to my guns and stayed in Tempe, the both of them would have been fast friends and enjoying themselves. I wouldn’t even have been in the picture until the end of the month when I had an utter breakdown about my desire to see them in Tempe after our time apart and my need to avoid Alex. It still felt like it had been a terrible idea to agree to this.
“I’m glad,” I told her, lying through my teeth. “They’re all great guys and they deserve the success they’re building.
“Oh, I heard they’re great. Alex told me this morning you’re dating one of them?” I glanced through toward where my mother was making our drinks, hesitating before replying.
“Well, yeah, but it’s still fairly new,” I replied cautiously. I didn’t know what to say that wouldn’t sell me down the river with Alex, while giving me a valid reason for Isobel to not discuss this in front of my mom. “My mom kinda doesn’t know though, and I’m not ready to tell her yet.”
“Your secret is safe with me.”
“So, he calls you a lot then?” I asked casually, trying to turn the conversation from John. Alex’s mom gushing about him was nothing new and it felt fairly neutral. While it was Alex and I didn’t entirely enjoy him being the topic of conversation, I could just remind myself that it was a mother gushing over her son. There was nothing to look into.
“Well, yes, but he’s home for a couple of days,” she told me. “He said he saw you coming in earlier, so I gave it a few hours before I popped over, give you time to catch up, you know?” I almost let out a groan. Of course, he came home, he was a momma’s boy through and through, but that didn’t make my life easier. It meant I couldn’t wander the streets of Cockeysville indefinitely, because I would most certainly run into him, nor could I discuss anything in-depth with Marissa about John and Alex, because Jack would be home too.
Then again, Jack being home too was a good thing. It meant I could catch up with two of my best friends at the same time and enjoy myself in their company like I always used to. Maybe not talking about the boys would be a good thing for me. I’d go back just as confused the moment I faced them, but I’d have some peace and quiet beforehand.
“Oh, I didn’t know,” I admitted. “I thought they were all staying in New York.”
“Oh, no, he always comes home when he’s this close. Besides, we’re on the way to the next venue.” I nodded, acknowledging that it made sense, but grateful all the same when my mother came in with our drinks. I don’t think I could have held up any more conversation about Alex now that I knew he was less than 50 feet from me.
“So, are you two all caught up?” My mother asked as she put our drinks down in front of us, sitting in the arm chair across from us. I smiled, Isobel beginning to fall into her own regular conversation with my mother.
I didn’t stay too much longer after that, though admittedly it was still a couple of hours before I left. I didn’t want to linger too long, in case Alex came looking for his mother. I doubted he would, but the point of this little trip was to be away from him.
“I’m sorry about Alex,” Isobel told me in a hushed tone in the hallway while my mother was grabbing my belongings. “He hasn’t long since told me what he did to make you leave, but we raised him better than that. I don’t know where he got it from.”
“Thank you,” I replied, feeling another of those small rushes of gratitude for everyone not automatically taking Alex’s side. “You raised a good boy, under everything, but I knew what I was getting myself in for when we first met. He can be sweet when he wants to be, but your son doesn’t have the best reputation with the girls and he never has done.”
“I know,” she replied, another reassuring smile sent my way. “You don’t need to tell me. He was always a charmer and it didn’t always work out, but we thought you were something different. You should have heard the way he used to talk about you when you weren’t around.” I smiled sadly, trying not to remember how Alex used to talk to me and how sweet he’d always been, the way he used to look at me when he thought I wasn’t watching.
“The one thing I regret is that I don’t get to see you more,” I laughed to her. “We were young, these things happen, but he had the best mother and I loved her very much.”
“Oh, hush,” she laughed, pulling me into another hug. “Now, don’t you be a stranger. I don’t want it to be another two years before I see you again.” I hugged her back, my own mother coming through the doors with my things as we parted. The pair of us had said everything I didn’t want to talk about, but I felt better for it.
I said my goodbyes to my own mother, though not as intensely, having already made plans for dinner tomorrow with her and my dad. We were going out to one of the nice Italian places in town, so I had no fear of seeing Alex there. I think they knew the proximity was difficult. My mom loved to cook, despite how much she insisted family dinners stressed her out, so I knew normally she would have jumped on the chance to have dinner at home, just the three of us. It was going to be wonderful.

Notes

Another filler, but purely because this started as the beginning of the next chapter, which would have been nearly 6500 words if I'd left the two together.
I had a very motivated day yesterday.