Take A Breath And Let The Rest Come Easy

After Jack gave me his address, I decided a shower was in order. I took a fifteen minute shower, picked out my favorite American flag jeans, a black Green Day shirt, and my favorite pair of converse. Then I went downstairs.

"Hey mom, I'm leaving!" I called. She answered from the kitchen.

"Wait a sec!" she came into the living room. "Where does he live?" I gave her his address and began heading out the door. "Oh, and Alex?"

"Yea, Mom?"

"Don't get ahead of yourself. You just met him." I had told my mom all about Jack when I had gotten home. She thinks I have a crush on him. My mom and I have always been pretty close. She even knew I was gay before I did. I still haven't figured that one out, but she was accepting of it when I finally came out to her. I wish my dad had been the same way. "And if you see anything suspicious, or if anything happens, call me and I will come and get you"

"I know. I will." She always gave me the same speech before I went anywhere by myself. "Love you, bye!" I called as I walked out the door.

Jack's house was only a few streets over, so I decided to walk. I could use the exercise anyway. Not even a minute into the journey and the thoughts threatened to invade my head again. 'Don't get your hopes up. He probably doesn't even like guys. You're just fooling yourself. No one would want a pathetic loser like you.' No. I shook the thoughts from my head. I wasn't going to allow myself to get worked up over nothing. I pulled my headphones out of my pocket and let the music drown out my thoughts.

A few songs later, and I was walking up the sidewalk to Jack's house. I could feel my hands beginning to shake. Come on, Alex. You got this. I lightly knocked on the door. I heard footsteps coming towards the door, and I immediately tried to hide behind my fringe. Thankfully, Jack was the one who opened the door. He was in black skinny jeans, a black v-neck tee shirt, and an unzipped black jacket. He had straightened his hair too. This was the first time I really got a chance to look at him, and wow, he was really attractive. He had opened his mouth to say something, but nothing had come out. After a quick second, he recovered and spoke.

"Hey." He held the door and gestured for me to follow him in.

"Hi" I replied, looking back at the floor, my face heating up. He was totally just checking me out.

As we walked closer to the kitchen, I could smell freshly baked cookies. We walked in, and sure enough, there were cookies cooling on a rack. There was a blonde woman, who I presumed was Jack's mom, putting dishes into the dishwasher.

"Mom, this is Alex. Alex, this is my mom." Jack introduced.

The woman turned to face us, drying her hands. "Hello, Alex. Nice to meet you." She smiled, holding her hand out to me. I shyly shook her hand.

"Nice t-to meet you t-too, Mrs. Barakat." I responded, my voice shaky.

"Oh, call me Joyce! Mrs. Barakat is too formal. Not to mention, it makes me feel old." She chuckled. I nodded. "Jack!" she suddenly snapped. I looked over too see Jack slowly setting a cookie back on the rack. "I told you to stay out of the cookies until they were cool. I just took them out of the oven. Must we go over this every time I make them?" she scolded. I smirked.

"Sorry, Mom." Jack apologized, backing away from the cookies.

Joyce turned her attention back to the few dishes left in the sink. "You two run along upstairs, and I'll let you know when the cookies are cool."

Jack led the way to his room. There were band posters all over the walls. I instantly smiled. Then I saw a guitar sitting in the corner by his bed, and I felt my jaw drop slightly. It was beautiful. I only had a semi-cheap acoustic. This was a custom ESP electric. It was almost all black with a purple trim around the edges. Jack must've seen me marveling at it because he started chuckling.

"You want to play it? I don't normally let people touch it, but I can make an exception." He winked at me.

"Can I?" I asked in disbelief.

"Well, on one condition." he stated with a devilish grin. I raised an eyebrow. "You have to sing for me." I knew there would be a catch.

"Almost worth it." I felt my face heat up.

"Damn. Oh, well. I'll get you to sing for me sooner or later," he stated matter-of-factly.

"Oh? You think so?" I challenged.

"No, I know so. I can be very persuasive."

"You can't poke me int-to doing it this time." He laughed.

I don't know why, but for some reason it was really easy to joke with Jack. I normally can't even have a normal conversation with someone until I've known them for like a month, let alone joke around with them. Yet, with Jack, I've only known him what? Seven hours? This is weird. I think I kind of like it. It's different. He's different. He even saw me on the verge of a panic attack, and he still chose to stick around.

"No, I might not be able to poke you into it, but I have other methods of persuasion." An evil smile spread across his face. Oh God. What was that supposed to mean? Was that supposed to be an innuendo for something? I felt my face heating up. I looked at the floor. He quickly changed the topic.

"So, you want a cookie?" he asked pulling a napkin out of his pocket, smiling.

"When did you steal cookies?"

"When my mom was talking to you."

"Oh. I didn't see you t-take them. Thanks." I took one of the cookies. They were still warm, and they were delicious.

"Ok, I gave you a cookie. Now can you sing for me?" He gave me the puppy dog eyes. Ugh. Why did he have to be so cute?

"Cookies? That was your big plan?"

"Yup." I laughed.

"Ok, fine. But c-can you play for me? I'm n-not that good." His face lit up.

"Depends on the song."

"Good Riddance?"

"I can play that. I wasn't kidding about being able to play every single Green Day song." he laughed.

He went and grabbed his guitar. He gestured for me to sit next to him on his bed. I sat and he began playing.

*Jack Pov*

I began playing the song, and I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't what I heard when Alex started singing. His voice was beautiful. Every note was perfectly in tune. To say I was amazed would be an understatement. I felt my jaw drop a little. He's hot, has an amazing music taste, plays guitar, AND he sings. I'm doomed.

The song came to an end, and I just sat in utter awe. His voice was so perfect.

"Jack, you ok?" he asked, glancing up at me.

"What? Um, y-yeah. Wow. You have an amazing voice."

"Thanks," he whispered, a blush creeping onto his face. He looked back down. "No one else has really ever heard me sing."

"So how come you gave into me so easily?" I questioned.

"I don't know. You gave me a cookie." He smirked.

"Told you I could be very persuasive." We both laughed. "So, you wanna play video games or something?"

"Sure, what games d-do you have?"

"Mario? I have the original nintendo version downloaded on the Wii."

"Awesome."

So we sat on my bed and played video games for a bit. We had a couple of broken up conversations between bantering back and forth while playing. Most of which centered around band and bands we liked. The more he talked, the more I noticed his stutter fading. He could talk in short sentences without stuttering or tripping over his words. I have to say, I was quite proud of him. My mom came in and gave us cookies about 20 minuets into our game.

"Jack Bassam Barakat," she began to scold. "I had two dozen cookies. That's twenty four cookies. There are only twenty on the rack. I have two in my hand. That leaves two cookies unspoken for. Care to explain?" she asked, unamused. Why does that sound like one of those ridiculous math problems in our books? What is she, a third cousin to the guy that bought 653 watermelons?

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Jack." She narrowed her eyes.

"Ok, I might have taken two when you weren't looking," I replied, looking down.

"Every time." She shook her head. Then she handed us both a cookie. I looked over at Alex, and he looked a little scared.

"Hey, you ok?"

"Y-yeah. I just don't like it-t when people yell," he stammered.

"She was only kidding. We do this all the time. You're not in trouble." He nodded his head.

"I know, it's just-" he paused.

"What?"

"Nevermind."

"Alex, you can trust me. Tell me."

"N-no." His stutter was coming back.

"What's wrong?" I asked, a concerned look spreading across my face.

"N-nothing. I sh-should probably get-t going." I could see him starting to shake a little.

"Alex, you need to calm down. I don't want you trying to go home like this. It's not safe."

"I d-don't c-care. I'll be f-fine." He stood up.

"Alex, please." I reached out to grab his arm. He flinched away.

"N-no. Don't t-touch me." He walked towards my bedroom door.

"Please don't go. I don't want anything to happen to you." I pleaded, placing my arm across the doorway. He looked up at me, and I noticed he was crying. "Please just talk to me." He dropped his gaze again.

"I'm s-sorry." He started to lose his balance.

"Come on, come sit back down. I got you." I placed my arm around his shoulders to steady him, and he leaned against me. We sat back down, and he collapsed into my arms.

*Alex Pov*

We sat down, and I fell into Jack. He wrapped his arms around me, rubbed my back, and tried to calm me down.

"Shhh. It's okay, I got you. You're okay," he kept whispering into my hair, rocking slightly. After a few moments, I felt my breathing start to slow, and I stopped crying.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"You don't need to apologize. I just want to know what's wrong." His voice was barely above a whisper.

"It's stupid." He let go of me, put both hands on my shoulders, and looked me straight in the eyes.

"Alex, it's not stupid. If I don't know your triggers, I can't do anything to try to prevent you from having attacks." I felt the tears welling up. No ones ever actually cared enough to try to take care of me. I looked down at my lap.

"I don't like yelling. It scares me," I whispered, feeling ashamed. "Even if it-t's just joking."

"That's fine, Lex. See? Now I know, and I can do something about it," he said, soothingly. I felt a blush creep on my face at the nickname. Yup, I was really starting to like him.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but is there any particular reason that yelling scares you?" I felt the color leave my face. I didn't want to have this conversation, and yet, I feel like I need to tell someone. I just need to get it off my chest; however, I don't want to scare him off. Ugh. Jack pulled me out of my thoughts. "Lex, you okay? You don't have to tell me, I just want to help." That's what doesn't make sense. Why would he want to help me? No one else ever did. He just met me today. Is he like this with everyone? "Lex?" Jack asked, attempting to snap me back into reality.

"Why do you care?" I asked. He looked a little hurt by my question. "Sorry, I mean like, you just met-t me. Why do you care?"

"I care about all of my friends." Ouch. Friends. That was more painful than it should've been. I opened my mouth to speak, but I as cut off. "Hey, I'm gonna go and get some more cookies and something to drink. What would you like? We have water, milk, juice, and coke."

"C-coke is fine, thanks.""When I come back up, we can talk." Yeah, I can trust him.

Notes

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-Em