i still love you
1/1
July 18th
The day I told you that I loved you. It was our 2-year anniversary, we spent the entire day watching Tim Burton movies on your laptop in the yard. We sat on a fluffy blanket, I fed you popcorn and you let me sip lemonade from your cup. Your mum took so many photos of us cuddled together, not that we cared we knew she was at the window but it was too. Later that night I took you to a fancy restaurant, I wouldn’t tell you where we were going afterward so you sat anxiously in the seat of my car softly singing along to blink. I took you to the beach because I knew you wanted to watch the waves with someone on a date. You told me this when we were just best friends and you’d tell me everything you wanted in a girlfriend, ironic I guess. I dropped you off at your house leaving you with a kiss full of passion and a text for you to read. It said ‘I love you’
February 12th
It was a cold day. I was walking down the same street that lead to the beach we spent our anniversary on. You sat there, arms draped around an unfamiliar figure, she wore a hoodie that hung very loosely around her frame, I guessed it was yours because I knew you always wore XL hoodies. You both stared out at the waves, her head resting on your shoulder. I missed those exact moments if I could tell you in any way that I still loved you I would. So, I did. I wandered back to the nearest park and sat there just gathering my thoughts. I knew the best thing I could do was to let it out. Texting you, however, was not. I told you ‘I still love you’
December 1st
It had been months since I thought about you, us, love. I was over you. That was until I saw a song of yours that you’d uploaded. I’ll admit I miss your voice and the ways your eyes just are. You started strumming your guitar and I listened. By the first few seconds exactly what you were playing. Walls. Our song. Every word had a link to us. It shouldn’t have meant so much to me, I shouldn’t have cared so much about the fact you were singing a song us but I did. For all, I knew it might not have meant anything to you anymore but it meant so much to me. I lied I wasn’t over you so I did exactly what I shouldn’t have done the second time and I text you. I told you ‘I think I’ll always love you’.
Alex gaskarth I will never be over you.
