On my mind

Ollie's POV

I was pacing up and down the waiting room waiting for someone to talk to me and Jack about Alex.
"Your going to burn a hole in that floor if you keep pacing like that." Jack said and I just looked at him but carried on pacing.
"Sorry, I can't help it. The amount of time I've been in this waiting room over the last 5 years is unreal and it's becoming my second home." I said and Jack stood up and stood in front of me which made me crash into him and I just rested my head on his shoulder and I felt myself cry and Jack wrapped his arm round me and pulled me into a hug.
"It's going to be okay." Jack said quietly and I pulled back and sniffed and looked away from him.
"No it's not Jack. Every time Alex comes into the place he is lucky that he actually makes it through the night. This time he actually might now make it, I mean did you see the amount of blood he had lost, he wasn't responding when the paramedics got to us. They are battling right now to keep in alive and I don't think he is going to make it this time." I said but it came out in a sobbing mess.
Jack sighed and he caught hold of my hand and he guided me over to the seats where we both sat down.

"Alex said you have BDD. What is that?" I said and looked at Jack.
Jack sighed and he rolled his sleeves up and there was scars all over his arms.
"It stands for Body Dysmorphic Disorder." Jack said and he looked at me and I looked at him confused.
"What does that even mean?" I asked and Jack smiled a little.
"It's like OCD, part from it's focused on the way I look and feel about myself." Jack said.
"You have nothing to worry about yourself. Your handsome, your kind, you support anyone who you want to support. You've been there for Alex and I am so thankful Jack. I'm glad you offered to have him over the week break because I know from experience that if he was at his I would have no idea what he could of done to himself." I said and Jack looked at me and smiled.
"You sure your not gay?" Jack asked and I chuckled.
"No, I'm not gay if I was gay I would off snatched Alex up a long time ago. But you can." I said and Jack frowned at me confused.
"Come on, I've seen the way you look at him and the way you cared for him up at the hill. I also know that Alex wouldn't show anyone the hill." I said and Jack looked down.
"I don't know what your talking about." Jack said quietly and I was going to say something but a doctor came in.

"Alexander Gaskarth family." They said and me and Jack stood up and walked over to the doctor.
"You two are a bit young. Where's his parents?" The doctor said and looked at me and Jack.
"His parents are away, me and my friend have been keeping any eye on him while they are away." I said.
"Okay, are you both aware of Alex's condition?" The doctor asked.
"You mean him having bipolar then yeah we're aware of that." I said.
"When Alex is having a episode what is he like so we can get a understanding of them and see if he needs to be sectioned or not." The doctor said.
"He has a protocol in saying that if he's in hospital due to self harming or of a suicide attempt then he needs to be sectioned until he can get himself grounded again." I said since I knew most of Alex's protocols since he always decides to do stupid stuff when his family wasn't around.
"We will need to see that." The doctor said.
"It should be on your system since Alex enjoys coming here all the bloody time." I said and the doctor frowned at me.
"Fine, Jack if you to Alex's in the medication cupboard in the kitchen is Alex's paperwork for if dumb fucks don't want to believe us." I said and handed Jack my key I had to get into Alex's.
"Can you keep me updated while I'm not here please, I know I won't be gone long but it's just in case." Jack said and I nodded and patted his shoulder and Jack smiled and walked out the room.
"Can I see my friend?" I asked and the doctor nodded.
"Yes you can and we can talk about what has happened to him and what we plan to do with him." The Doctor said.
"I know what happened to him, he had a depressive episode and he decided that instead of talking to me and his other friend he ran off and decided that slitting his wrist was a good idea. I know my friend better than he knows himself." I said and the doctor just nodded.
"If you would like to follow me." The doctor said and I followed him to reuse where Alex was under close observation.

"Jesus Alex what have you been doing to yourself." I said quietly to him as I kissed his forehead and took in the sight of him being covered in wires and tubes.
"Okay so as you know Alex has bipolar and he has tried to kill himself." The doctor said.
"Yes I know that already can you please tell me if my best friend is going to be okay or not." I snapped and looked at the doctor without meaning too.
"We're going to move him to ICU at some point when Alex is stable enough to be moved. Then once he is out of ICU and is able to think a little bit for himself and then he'll either discharge himself or he'll go and get sectioned until he's grounded and better." The Doctor said.
"Alex won't discharge himself unless you give him that choice, he needs help because I have no idea what triggered this, maybe Jack could shine some light on Alex as Alex has been staying with Jack for the last couple of days." I said and the doctor nodded.
"Do you know what Alex's main triggers are and if he's been experiencing any off them?" The doctor asked.
"Stress is a huge one but he hasn't been under any real stress for him to do this. Home life isn't exactly rosey for him but he can cope with that. I don't know what triggered this." I said and I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked and saw Jack.
"You'll find that it'll be in Alex's best interest for him to stay here." Jack said as he handed the paper over to the doctor.
"Keep them, I still have the hard copy." Jack said sarcastically and the doctor just walked out the room.
Jack sighed and turned round and looked at Alex.
"Do you want me to give you some space?" I asked and Jack shook his head.
"I can't be in my own right now. I don't think I could trust myself." Jack whispered.
"Hey, it's okay. You'll be okay because you are strong enough to be okay and be here for Alex." I said and caught hold of his hand and squeezed it.

I was sat in the chair watching Jack who's eyes never left Alex's body and he was muttering something in another language.
Someone phone went off and it made both me and Jack jump and we looked at our phones and Jack answered his again speaking whatever he was speaking and he looked at me.
"It's okay, I'll stay with him." I said and Jack smiled and walked out the room.
I sighed and got up and walked round to Jacks seat and sat down and caught hold of Alex's hand.
"You can get through this Alex. You don't have to get through this for me but for Jack as well, we haven't left your side since we got here and Jack is muttering something in another language but it sounds like he is willing you to get through this. Alex please fight this I can't be without my best friend. I need you more than what you think, you might think you need me more than I need you but that isn't the case Alex. I need you so fucking much that if I didn't have you I don't know what my life will be like. Please Alex I'm begging you to pull through this." I said and I felt a tear roll down my cheek.
I looked at Alex and he was still covered in wires and tubes and I looked at his heart monitor and smiled when I saw his heart was still beating strong.
"Just keep your heart beating Alex. Me and Jack will look after you." I whispered and stood and kissed his forehead and moved some hair away from his forehead.

The door opened and shut and I looked up and saw Jack.
"If you want to go home then you can, my parents know I'm up here and won't be leaving Alex." Jack said.
"I don't really have a home. I was just going to crash here for the night to be honest." I said and looked down.
"Hey, if you ever need to talk about something then I'm here you know. I won't tell nobody or if I do then I normally just something in Arabic at school and nobody understands me." Jack said.
"So that was what you was speaking!" I said and Jack frowned.
"Yeah, thought Alex would of told you that bit of information." Jack said and he sat on the bed.
"If he's interested in someone I hardly know about it until either him or the other dude asks him out. But he has spoken about you. Consider yourself very lucky." I said and Jack smiled.
Jack yawned and he looked at his phone.
"Fuck it's 5 in the morning." Jack said as he got off the bed and sat in the other chair and put his feet on the bed and he looked at me with a smile.
"You going to try and sleep?" I asked and Jack nodded.
"Not that I'm actually going to sleep because damn this chair is uncomfortable." Jack said trying to get comfy and I couldn't help but chuckle.
"You'll get used to it, Alex is a regular visitor in the place so get used to it." I said.
"Oh yay remind to bring a air bed with me or something next time." Jack mumbled and I smiled.
I stayed quiet and let Jack sleep and I looked at Alex.
"You have yourself a keeper her Lex." I said quietly and got myself comfy before I fell asleep.

Notes