Jack's POV

"So I was wondering if you wanted to go out for lunch with me today." Alex said as I made myself something to eat.
"You asking me out on a date?" I asked and I felt round for the knife.
"I guess. I can understand if you say no and I'll back off and all that." Alex rambled and I couldn't help but chuckle.
"No, no. I don't want you to do that. Course I'll go out on a date wth you. But before any of that happens I need to do some school work I've missed while in hospital." I said and Alex smiled.
"Want a hand with it?" Alex asked.
"You can help, but it'll be in Braille so I don't think you'll understand it." I said and Alex chuckled.
"I can only try and help." Alex said and I smiled and got my food and went upstairs with Alex following me.

I was sat on the bed doing my school work when I felt the bed dip beside me and I knew it was Alex but it still makes me jump when people don't say when their near me.
Alex started to play on his guitar quietly, I knew he had a guitar since I kept on falling over the bloody thing because it keeps on moving around the room.
"Was beginning to think that the guitar was for decoration." I said sarcastically and Alex chuckled.
"Nope, I play the guitar and write my own sings when I'm not tied up with work and college." Alex said and I couldn't help but smile but then looked down thinking about the last time I played the guitar.
"What's the matter?" Alex said sounding concerned.
"Its nothing, just a memory it doesn't matter." I said and went back to my work.
Alex carried on playing his guitar and I never realized how much I missed the sound of a guitar until Alex started to play.
"Can you stop? I can't focus on my work." I said quietly and Alex stopped right away and I felt him get off the bed and went somewhere, I'm guessing he was putting the guitar back.
"Thank you." I muttered and went back to my work.
I was miles away with my work when I felt the bed dip beside me again.

"Do you want to go out in that date?" Alex asked and put his and on my knee.
"Yeah, but I need to get changed." I said and I could hear Alex smile.
"What?" I asked and I felt something being put on my lap.
"Put these on, you'll look even more gorgeous." Alex said and he kissed my cheek and he got up and walked out the room.
I smiled and felt the clothes and smelt them since I loved the washing powder what Ava used for some reason but I realized that the top wasn't mine and that it belonged to Alex which made me smile.
I heard someone walk in the bedroom.
"Would you like a hand?" Alex asked and I looked in the direction of his voice.
"This isn't my top." I said and picked it up.
"I know, I think you would look good in it." Alex said.
"What is it?" I asked confused.
"Arms up." Alex said and I frowned at him but put my arms up and I felt Alex put the top on.
I felt the gap between get smaller and I looked at Alex.
Alex put his finger on my cheek and gently ran his finger up and down my cheeks which made me smile.
"That tickles." I giggled quietly and Alex smiled.
"Finish getting ready." Alex whispered and his kissed my forehead and he walked off.
I finished getting ready and went looking for Alex.

Alex had his arm linked with mine as we walked into this shop and I worked out it was a cafe after the smell of food hit my nose.
"How can I help?" A woman said bubbly.
"Hey, I booked a table under Gaskarth, Alex if that is any help." Alex said and I looked down feeling embarrassed and out of place.
"I'll get you two a menu." The girl said.
"Do you have any menus in Braille?" I asked and looked up.
"Sorry, sir we don't." The girl said and I rolled my eyes.
"It's fine, don't worry about it." I said with a smile.
"I'll be back soon to take your order." The girl said and left me and Alex alone.
"You want me to read out the menu for you?" Alex asked.
"Yeah, if that's okay with you." I said and could sense Alex smiling.
"I don't care." Alex said and he started to read the menu out.

"So what do you want to talk about then?" I asked.
"You." Alex said and I frowned because I was confused.
"There's nothing much to know about me." I said quietly and looked down.
"How did you become blind? Was you born like it?" Alex asked.
"Pretty sure I've already told you how I became blind." I said and I sensed Alex frowned a little.
"Yeah but I want to hear the whole story. Not the fake one you make up." Alex said and I looked down.
"I can't, not here anyway." I said quietly.
I felt something wrap round my ankles and I frowned a little.
Then I realized it was Alex's foot which made me smile.
"Okay, tell me something about yourself then." Alex said.
"I'm a only child. Jasey is my only friend. My family wants nothing to do with me. But anyway, let's not talk about my depressing live. Let's talk about you." I said and sat forward.
Alex chuckled and I felt his feet move away from my ankles.
"Would rather not talk about me." Alex said and he was looking down.
"What's the matter?" I asked as I looked down, suddenly feeling bad.
"Nothing, hey how about we go to my apartment and we can talk there. Does that sound okay to you?" Alex said and I nodded.
"Jack I need a verbal answer." Alex said and I looked at him.
"It sounds fine to me." I said quietly and Alex got up and went somewhere.
"Alex, where did you go?" I asked feeling panicked as I felt round the table and I couldn't feel his hands or his feet under the table.
"Alex?" I said a bit louder and I felt a hand on my shoulder.
"Jack, it's okay. I just went to pay for the food its okay." Alex said and I felt myself cry and Alex helped me up and pulled me into a hug which I returned and hid my face in Alex's shoulder.
"Sorry is everything okay?" A person asked.
"We're fine, we just got some bad news so can you back up and leave us alone." Alex said seriously and he had a hint of protectness in his voice.
"Let's go to my place." Alex said quietly and kissed the top of my head as I nodded and Alex caught hold of my hand and we walked to his apartment.


We walked inside and Alex guided me somewhere and told me to sit down which I did.
"Be thankful you can't see the state of the apartment it literally looks like a bombsite so if you get up and walk around just be careful okay." Alex said as he sat down.
I just stayed quiet.
"Babe, what was that all about in the cafe?" Alex asked and I just shook my head.
"It doesn't matter. I was just being stupid." I said quietly.
"Jack, you can talk to me. I'm not going to say anything. Unless it's serious and I feel that Jasey needs to know but other than that I'm sure Jasey knows everything about you." Alex said and I just nodded.
"Come on, talk to me." Alex said, I just sighed and looked down.
"I was with somebody who would do things to me." I said quietly.
"Did they hurt you?" Alex asked and I looked at him and I knew I had tears in my eyes.
"Yes." I whispered and looked down and messed with my hands.
"What did they do to you Jack?" Alex asked and I shook my head.
"He. You mean what did he do to me." I spat and sniffed loudly.
"I'm not saying, Jasey only knows the basic stuff he did to me." I said quietly.
"What did he do to you? Jack come on you have to talk to somebody about this. If it's serious enough you have to go to the police and report whatever he did to you." Alex said.
"Go to the police? Like what the fuck they are going to do? I go up and say that somebody raped me. Yeah like they are going to believe a fucking blind person." I said and looked down.
"He raped you? Jack you need to go to the police about this. This is serious." Alex said and I felt him move on the sofa.
"It doesn't matter Alex. What's do is done there's no going back now." I said sadly.
Alex made me look at him.
"It does matter Jack." Alex said softly.
"How about I make us a hot chocolate and we can talk some deep and heavy shit." Alex said and I nodded as I sniffed.
"I like that idea." I whispered and I sensed Alex smiled and he kissed me on the top of the head and he got up and I just listened to him making our drinks.
Alex walked back over and put the drinks in the table.
"So I accidentally made the drinks too hot so we'll just wait for them too cool down." Alex said and I smiled slightly.

"So I said we would talk about heavy shit and that's what we are going to do." Alex said as he got comfy on the sofa and I did the same.
"Who's going first?" I asked.
"I will if you want." Alex said and I nodded, Alex took a deep breath.
"Okay, I have depression and before I started taking medication I self harmed and tried to kill myself." Alex said quietly, I looked at him and felt for his hand and when I found it I held it for some support.
"You turn." Alex sniffed.
"My dad is the reason why I'm blind. He got angry one day and he burnt my eyes and my body before he threw some chemicals at me. My eyes are that damaged that there's nothing the doctors can do. So yeah I'm blind for the rest of my life thanks to that cunt." I said and Alex squeezed my hand which made me smile a little.
"Can you not tell anyone about this next confession please." Alex said and I frowned.
"I won't say nothing." I said and I could sense Alex was smiling.
"I was a drug addict. I got into a really bad crowd at school and I started to take drugs and ended up in hospital a few times for overdoses. Felix is the only person who knows about it." Alex said quietly.
"But your better now right?" I asked seriously hoping he was clean because Patrick was a drug addict.
"Yeah, I am on my 3 year of being clean. I am not going back, I'm staying clean because of one person." Alex said and I looked at him.
"This is really hard for me to say but, um, my ex was a drug dealer and he did drugs. He um used to beat and rape me. He also would take me out and walk off and leave me." I said quietly and looked down.
"Jack, that's awful. Why did he do such a thing to such a nice person?" Alex said as he moved closer to me.
"Everyone things because I'm blind I don't know shit. I don't know how to look after myself, that I'm fucking useless. But I'm not stupid and I don't know how to look after myself but I do. I might be blind but I can still do things, I can still be a human being." I said and Alex out his hand on my cheek which made me jump and Alex chuckled.
"I understand." Alex whispered and he kissed the end of my nose which made me smile.
"Shell we go to bed since I haven't got round to putting a tv in the sitting room but I do have one in my room so I was thinking we could watch a film and cuddle. What do you think?" Alex said and I nodded and I didn't know I was crying until Alex rub his thumb gently over my cheek.
"Don't cry." Alex whispered and he got up and he picked me up and he walked towards somewhere and he put me down on what I was guessing the bed.

"You going to get changed?" Alex asked as I felt the bed dip beside me.
"I have nothing to get changed into." I whispered.
"You can borrow some of my clothes." Alex said and he got off the bed.
"I..I can't do that." I said and I felt something being put on my lap.
"Lift your arms up." Alex said quietly and I did what I was told.
"Your really skinny Jack, I can see your ribs." Alex said sounding worried.
"I'm fine honestly." I said quietly and looked down but Alex put his finger under my chin to stop me looking down which was annoying.
"You sure?" Alex asked seriously and I nodded.
"You need to stand up so I can take your jeans off, which can I say you look great in." Alex said and I smiled and looked at him and stood up.
Alex took my jeans off and gently pushed me on the bed and I felt him put my legs in the trouser legs and helped me up and pulled them up.
"Now your ready for bed." Alex said and I chuckled softly.
"I could of done it myself you know." I said and climbed into bed where Alex joined me and I couldn't help but cuddle into his side.
"I know, just wanted to help you out." Alex said and I smiled.
Alex moved his hand and he started to mess with my hair which was nice.
"What is it like being blind?" Alex asked as he choose a film since he was going to be the one watching the film, I was just listening to it.
"Its like being in constant darkness. Like your at a standstill while the whole world is moving on with their lives. The only things you have are the memories what the world looked like when you could see." I said quietly and Alex pulled me closer to him.
"Well, you are not really missing much. Part from seeing what I looked like." Alex said and I smiled.
"I can use my imagination." I said and Alex chuckled.
"As long as you don't make me ugly then I'm good." Alex said and I smiled and looked at him.
"You don't sound ugly so in my little world your not ugly." I said and Alex chuckled.
Alex moved so his forehead was resting against mine.
"Wish you could just see yourself." Alex whispered.
"There's nothing nice about me." I said quietly.
"Your joking right? Your gorgeous, totally the best person I've ever crushed on. I'm not even joking on that." Alex said and I smiled.
Alex moved from me but then his lips found their way to mine and it took me a couple of seconds before I cottoned on what was going on and I kissed him back.
I pulled back for air with a smile on my face.
"Let's watch the film yeah." Alex said quietly and he quickly kissed me again before he got comfy and pulled me onto his chest.
"More like you watch and I listen while I fall asleep." I said quietly as I yawned which made Alex chuckle and he started to mess with my hair.
I was slowly falling asleep when Alex rolled onto his side which made me groan and moved and got comfy again which made Alex chuckle.
"Shush, stop moving." I muttered and Alex started to mess with my hair.
"Sorry Jack." Alex whispered and I fell back asleep again.

Notes