Secrets Don't Make Friends

Jack

It's been a week since Cass and I found out that I was pregnant. So far no one else knew. I couldn't bring myself to tell Alex or my mom. I knew it was going to be a shit-storm when I told them. I really wanted to tell them, I hated keeping secrets, especially from Alex. I just knew that as soon as I told him about me being pregnant and Zack potentially being the father, he would break up with me.

It was no use keeping my pregnancy from Alex or my mom too much longer though. They both were becoming suspicious in my change of behavior. I would snap more at them or cry about the smallest things. The smell of Alex's cologne made me sick and I'm always tired now. I sleep twice as much as I used to after school. I had to pee a lot and I threw up even more. Sooner or later I was going to have to tell them.

Right now I had just woke up from a nap I was taking on the couch. I didn't have school today since it was Saturday. I woke up this morning, threw up, ate everything my mom made for breakfast, threw up again, and then laid down on the couch where I fell back asleep. If I didn't take that pregnancy test with Cass I would have for sure known by now that I'm pregnant.

"Finally you're up. I was starting to worry about you." My mom told me as I sat up.

"I'm fine." I grumbled. I looked down at my phone and saw that it was three pm. I had slept for three hours. I also saw that I had a missed call from Alex. I decided I would call him back later when I didn't feel so grumpy.

"Why are you so sleepy? What time did you go to bed last night?" She asked.

"I don't remember." I shrugged.

"Okay, grumpy, I'm leaving so you'll have the whole house to sulk in." She said and grabbed her keys.

"Where are you going?" I asked, suddenly not wanting to be alone at home.

"One of my coworker's birthday is today and we're going to that painting and wine drinking place. I really don't want to go, but I couldn't think of a quick enough lie so now I have to spend my Saturday being fake with people from work." She sighed.

"Being fake is your specialty." I joked and she laughed.

"It really is, but I'll see you in maybe two hours."

"Okay, love you, bye." I told her and she said the same thing back.

I was only alone in the house for thirty seconds before I was calling Alex's phone to ask him to come over. Cuddling with him would make me feel one-hundred times better.

"I called you two hours ago!" Alex jokingly scolded me when he answered.

"Yeah I know I'm sorry. I was asleep." I apologized.

"You're just now waking up?"

"Well kind of. I woke up earlier but then I needed a nap." I lightly chuckled.

"Why've you been so sleepy lately? I swear all you do, if we're not at school, is sleep."

"It's all the test I've had lately." I lied and he accepted it. "But you should come over. My mom left me and now I'm all alone." I whined.

"Sounds good to me. I'll be there shortly." He said and hung up.

I got off the couch and went to the bathroom to fix myself up some. I fixed my hair in the mirror and looked my body over. I pulled my shirt up and looked at my stomach. I looked like I lost weight which was probably due to all my morning sickness. Luckily Alex wouldn't be able to tell I was pregnant. I was probably only a month pregnant by now. I really needed to go to the doctor soon, but they would tell my mom if I went.

I heard the doorbell ring minutes later. I went to open the door and smiled when Alex was standing there. He pulled me into a hug and kiss.

"Hi baby!" I exclaimed.

"Hey." He said back and stepped into the house. I closed the door behind us and he followed me back to my room.

"I was thinking we should order pizza and watch a movie." Alex suggested and my stomach churned at the idea of all the grease on pizza.

"Pizza doesn't sound good right now. How about we eat something lighter like subway." I said and he raised an eyebrow at me.

"You want to eat subway instead of pizza? What? Are you on a diet?"

"No why?? Do I look like I've gained weight??" I panicked and looked down at my stomach.

"No Jack I was joking you look fine." He clarified and I took a deep breath.

"Oh."

"You actually look really good in those sweatpants. How about we skip lunch for now and do something else?" He said suggestingly. He placed his hands on my waist and I rolled my eyes at him.

"I thought you were afraid to have sex with me." I said. Since Alex told me that he was afraid to have sex with me, we only did sexual things that "couldn't get me pregnant."

"I realized I was being overly dramatic. We can have sex as long as we're careful like you said."

I said that before I was pregnant. Now that I was pregnant I didn't want to have sex ever again.

"I think we should wait a little while longer." I told him.

"What? Why? You were just pissed at me two weeks ago for not wanting to have sex and now you want us to wait longer?" He questioned.

"I just think we need more time to think things through." I said half-heartedly.

My phone went off before Alex could say anything back. I looked down at it and saw that I had a message from Zack.

Zack Merrick

Times up

Read 3:33pm

I stopped breathing when I read his message. It was two weeks later and I hadn't told Alex the truth yet. I procrastinated for so long and now I had no choice but to do it today. I decided not to text Zack back so I could hopefully buy myself sometime.

"Jack are you feeling okay? You look a little pale." Alex said worriedly.

"Yes I'm fine! Stop asking!" I snapped at him. I was just so stressed having to think of a way to tell him the truth in such a short amount of time.

"Why the hell are you snapping at me? I'm just worried about you." He said, angrily and his phone began to ring. I looked at his phone when he pulled it out of his pocket and saw Zack's name. This wasn't happening!!

"No no no don't answer that!" I panicked and pulled his phone out of his hand before he could press the answer key.

"It's just Zack? Maybe he's calling to finally talk to me about what's been bothering him."

"He's not."

"How do you know?"

"Just trust me. You said we should stay away from him." I reminded him.

"Yeah but that'll only work for so long. Just let me see my phone?" He asked.

"No, Lex."

"Jack give me my phone." He demanded and I shook my head no. "I'm not going to ask again." He sighed and I looked down. Zack had stopped calling a second ago, but I didn't want Alex to call him back. I also didn't want things to get any tenser between Alex and I. I slowly handed him back his phone and he slipped it into his pocket.

"You've been acting strange for the last few days so just tell me what's going on or I'm leaving." He demanded.

I looked down at my hands as tears began to well up in my eyes. The tears quickly escaped my eyes and fell down my cheek. There was no more hiding this from Alex. Things were only getting worse. I decided I was going to tell him everything I'd been hiding.

I grabbed his hand and made him sit down on my bed with me. He was going to need to be sitting to hear everything I was about to tell him.

"I'm pregnant, Lex." I cried and he stood back up stared at me in disbelief.

"Y-you're what? No Jack you can't be!" He said in disbelief. "What the fuck are we supposed to do??"

"T-that's not a-all." I sniffled and wiped my eyes.

"What? Are you fucking pregnant with twins?" He questioned and I shook my head. Although there was no way from me to tell if I were or not. I took a deep breath before telling him the worse part.

"...The day after Cass's party, I had s-sex w-with Z-Zack." I couldn't even look up at him. I was so ashamed and embarrassed. The silence was enough to tell me how Alex felt.

"...you... you had sex...with Zack?" He asked and I nodded still looking down. He sounded like he was in a daze but I kept going.

"And there's a possibility t-that he could b-be the father." I mumbled. My head quickly shot up when I heard something hit against my wall and break. Alex had threw my lamp across my room and into a wall. I looked at him in shock but it quickly turned to fear when I saw how angry he was.

"Alex please sto-" I stood up and tried to get him to sit before he could break anything else, but he pushed away my arm.

"-You fucked him!?! What the hell is wrong with you, Jack?? Why the fuck would you do that to me?"

"B-because you cheated on me with Hayley." I told him and he took a step back.

"You knew about that this whole time?" He asked and I slowly nodded. "And instead of talking to me about it you decided to run to Zack and fuck him??" He took a step towards me and I took a step back. He continued to approach me until my back was against the wall.

"He convinced me that I need to get even with you. I shouldn't have done it though. I'm so sor-"

"-Sorry?? You had sex with one of my friends and you want me to believe that you're sorry? I was fucking drunk when I had sex with Hayley, what's your excuse?" He questioned.

"Alex-" I tried to beg for him to hear me out but I was crying so hard I couldn't finish a sentence. He still had me cornered against the wall in my room and it was starting to scare me. I didn't want him to hurt me. "Y-you're s-scaring m-me." I sobbed.

"I'm scaring you?? You just fucking told me that you're pregnant and I might not be the father but I'm scaring you??" He was yelling right in my face and I was shaking now.

"Alex pleas-"

"-No! Fuck you Jack. You know what you are? You're a whore and all you'll ever be is a whore. You do whatever the fuck you want with that demon in your stomach because I'm through." He finally backed away from me.

"Alex please d-don't go." I pleaded.

"I want nothing to do with you or it. Just stay the fuck away from me, Jack." He spat at me and left my room.

I heard the front door slam and I was truly alone. I fell on my bed, crying my eyes out. I'd never seen Alex so angry, but I didn't blame him. I was a whore for cheating on him and not knowing which guy was the father. It was like I was destined to be here in life.

After crying for almost an hour I became dehydrated. I was too weak to go to the kitchen for water. I pulled my cover over myself and stared at my bedroom wall. I was in a daze, I couldn't fall asleep or even think about what happened with Alex. I just stared at my wall with a blank stare and a blank mind.

*****

"Jack!" I heard my mom call out to me. I felt like I had heard her saying my name for a while now. I felt her shake my body but I couldn't respond. I just continued to lay in bed and stare at my wall. I could tell she was crying, but I couldn't answer her.

"Mom! Please come help! I don't know what's wrong with him! He isn't responding to me. All he's doing is staring at the wall." I heard my mom cry on the phone. "Please hurry!" She said and hung up.

"Jack, baby talk to me! What wrong? Are you okay?" She asked.

I wanted to tell her that I wasn't okay. That I fucked up my whole life. But I still couldn't say anything. My mom ran her fingers through my hair and tried her best to get me to talk to her. She continued this for fifteen minutes until my Grandma was coming into my room to see what was going on.

"Mom, please help him!" I heard my mom beg her.

"Jack? Jack, honey, it's Grandma. Can you hear me?" She asked. "Can you move or talk? Please do something, you're scaring us."

"Should I call for an ambulance?" My mom asked her.

I felt my grandma rub my forehead and then kiss it before nodding. My mom made the call to 911 and told them what was wrong with me and they sent an ambulance. I felt like I was having a bad dream because none of this felt real. Two EMTs came into my room and tried to get me to talk or move but all I could do was stare. I stared up at the ceiling while they both lifted me and placed me on the stretcher. My eyes finally closed and let my body get some rest.

*****

"Yes ma'am, I'm pretty sure dehydration played an equal part in this." I heard a man say.

I opened my eyes and looked around to see that I was in the hospital. I didn't remember getting here or why I was in the hospital to begin with. The last thing I remembered was my talk with Alex.

"Hey welcome back." The doctor told me and chuckled. I blinked a few times and my mom got up to see me. She kissed my forehead when she saw me awake.

"Thank God." She mumbled to herself and kissed me on the forehead again.

"What happened?" I asked and my grandma walked over.

"I’m pretty sure you went into physiological shock and you were so dehydrated." The doctor told me. "Your blood work didn't find anything dangerous but it did find something surprising." He added and left to give us some privacy.

"How long have you've known?!" Grandma asked.

"Known what?" I asked hoping she wasn't asking what I thought she was asking.

"That you're pregnant." She confirmed and I looked down.

"A month." I answered.

"Why did you tell us?!" My mom asked.

"I was scared." I mumbled

"Jack, I told you, you can talk to me about anything. I wouldn't have gotten mad. I'm not even mad right now. I'm just worried. I thought something was wrong really with you." My mom said.

"I'm not angry either. I'm a little upset because I didn't want you to have to go through this, but I’m not mad." Grandma added.

"I'm sorry." I apologized and wiped my eyes. I felt like the biggest fuck-up in the world.

"It's okay, sweetheart. You'll be okay." My grandma said and I shook my head.

"No I won't be. Alex broke up with me."

"What? Why?? Because you're pregnant?" My mom asked.

"No, because I told him that... t-that he might not be the father." I stammered.

"Why'd you tell him that?" My grandma asked.

"Became its true."

"You cheated on him?" My mom asked angrily.

"He cheated on me first!" I stressed.

"That's enough." My grandma said, stopping us. "Who's the other option?"

"Alex's friend, Zack." I said, shamefully and they both gave me a disappointed look.

Notes

This is my favorite chapter so far for some reason