Secrets Don't Make Friends

Jack

Both Alex and Zack stopped by the hospital a week ago to take a DNA test. The results were going to be in any day now. I finally was able to go home a few days ago, but it didn't matter since I came back every day to spend time with my son. Like now, my mom, grandparents, and I were on our way to the hospital. A nurse called and said that my baby was getting better at controlling his heart rate and temperature, so they were going to take him out of the incubator to see how he does. I was finally going to be able to hold him!

My mom, grandparents, and I walked into the hospital and a nurse lead us to our own room. Then she went to go get my baby for me.

"I'm so nervous, I hope he's healthy enough to stay out for long." I said, while bouncing my leg up and down.

"I'm sure he will be." My grandma said and rubbed my back.

The nurse walked in a few minutes later with the incubator. She rolled it close to me and went over what to do if he started to turn blue or became really cold. That made me worry more, but I knew it was just a precaution. She opened the incubator and slowly reached down to pull my baby out, then she handed him to me. I smiled as he was placed into my arms. He was so small, and he couldn't weigh more than two pounds. I carefully pulled him closer to my chest, so I wouldn't hurt him.

"Oh he's so precious." My mom whispered.

"He looks like an angel." My grandpa added.

I pulled his beanie down more to cover his dark brown hair. He didn't have much hair, but he had enough to stick out from under his hat. My eyes widened as I heard a small noise escape from his lips. He was crying.

"Aww what's a'matter?" I asked him as I slowly rocked him in my arms. I pulled his blanket tighter around him just in case he was cold.

"It's time to feed him." The nurse told me. She stayed to keep an eye on him to make sure he was okay outside of his incubator. "I didn't feed him yet so you'd be able to do it." She said, and I thanked her.

The nurse went to grab a warm bottle and she brought it to me. We were going to see if he was strong enough to suck from the bottle. I held the baby in one arm and brought the nipple of the bottle to his mouth with my other hand.

"Is this right?" I asked before attempting to feed him.

"Lift him up just a little bit more." My grandma told me, and I did. She nodded to let me know I was holding him right and then I put the bottle to his mouth. The nipple went in and he began sucking. We all sighed in relief when we heard noises from him getting the formula. The nurse told us, he wasn’t sucking as strongly as he needed to be, so it was going to take him a little longer to eat. It was great exercise to build up strength though.

"Aw you're such a big boy!" My mom exclaimed, and he continued to drink from the bottle.

"So, does this mean he does need the feeding tube anymore?" I asked the nurse.

"Sadly, he’ll have to use it until he can drink from the bottle with ease. We'll keep monitoring his eating habits to get him to switch over as quickly as possible.” She said, and I nodded. The nurse left us alone to give us some privacy.

"How heavy does he feel? He doesn't look like he weighs more than a feather." My grandpa told me.

"Yeah he's really light still. I don't think he's over two pounds." I said. I finished feeding him and my mom showed me how to burp him. I lightly tapped on his back because I was afraid of hurting him.

"You have to pat his back a little harder, Jack." My grandma told me after I tried for two minutes and couldn't get anything out of him.

"I can't, he's too small." I whined. Seconds later my baby began to cry. "Now what wrong?"

"The gas is stuck in his stomach. Here let me see him." Grandma opened her arms and I slowly handed him too her. She laid his head on her should and began to pat his back with more force than I did. After a few pats, a small burp escaped the baby's lips and we all chuckled. He burped a few more times then let out a yawn.

"You guys should hold him before he falls asleep." I told my mom and grandpa. My grandma handed him to my mom first. I smiled as she tried to get him to open his eyes for her.

We heard a knock on the door and then it opened. It was one of the nurses and she was holding a big yellow envelope.

"Mr. Barakat?" The nurse called out as she stepped into the room.

"Yes?" I answered.

"We have the DNA test results ready." She informed me, and my face fell.

"Oh. . . Um thank you."

"Would you like me to read it out loud or do you think you want to read it on your own?" She asked.

"I should probably do it myself." I sighed.

"Okay, I'll just place it here." She said and sat the yellow envelope on the table next to the hospital bed.

We all stared at the folder wondering what the inside read. I didn't have the courage to pick it up though.

"Sooo are we going to read it?" My mom asked. She handed her grandson to my grandpa and then went over to pick up the envelope.

"I don't know, I can't, I'm not ready."

"But we can get it over with. You can stop stressing over it and so can those boys."

"I know but I'm too scared." I mumbled and sat down on the bed. My grandma sat next to me and placed her hand on my shoulder. "And I don't want everyone around me when I look at it." I complained. I was afraid I would get judged for the for the outcome.

"How about we give you some alone time? You can read it and react and then you tell us who’s the father and we'll help you from there.” My grandma suggested

"I don't know, I feel like I'm gonna throw up." I got up and began pacing back and forth.

"How about I read it first and then tell you the results." My mom suggested.

"That's worse than me reading it on my own." I said. "I don't know, I guess I'll read it, but I just need a second." I took some deep breaths as I continued to pace.

"This baby is going to be walking by the time you finally get the courage to open that thing." Grandpa joked.

"I'm just trying to mentally prepare myself." I nervously chuckled. I kept repeating in my head that it doesn't matter who the father is. All that mattered is that he stayed in my baby's life.

"Okay, okay, I'm ready." I sighed.

"Okay, let's put the baby back in his incubator while he's napping. And we'll step out and give you some privacy." Grandma directed, and I thanked her.

"Just remember that these results don't really change much. You still have your healthy baby boy." My mom said, and I nodded.

"I know." I said, and looked down to play with my thumbs.

"You'll be okay." She said and kissed me on the cheek.

"Stay strong, Kiddo." Grandpa said, on his way out of the room too.

I waved and watched them all leave and close the door. My grandma said they were going to step out for thirty minutes to eat. That meant I had thirty minutes to get this over with.

I looked at the envelope on the table top and narrowed my eyes at it. This stupid little test had my heart rate skyrocketing. I really just needed to get this over with. I picked up the test and my stomach began to flutter.

"I can do this I can do this." I repeated to myself.

I opened the flap and closed my eyes as I pulled the paper out. "Open your eyes." I scolded myself.

I flipped the paper over and looked at the blank backside of the test results. "Ugh why is this so hard." I sighed. I placed the paper on my lap and placed my head in my hands. "Just flip it over and glance at it for one second. Then flip it back over." I told myself in my head. I took another deep breath and reached out for the paper. I accidentally knocked it over onto the floor. The paper fell with the results face up, forcing me to see it. My eyes grew wide as I stared down at it in shock.

*****

My grandparents and mom came back to my hospital room twenty-ish minutes later. I had put the DNA results back into the envelope and placed it back on the table top before they came back.

"Don't tell me you didn't look." My mom complained.

"I did." I answer with a poker face. I didn't know how to feel about the results I saw.

"Oh... so who is it?" She asked and they all looked at me expectantly.

I didn't know what kind of reaction to expect from them, so I took a deep breath and blurted out his name.

*****

After talking with my mom and grandparents for almost an hour, they told me I needed to call the guys, so I could tell them the results from the test. I was shaking as I called Alex first and asked him to meet me at the hospital. I thought it would be great if both guys were able to hold the baby for the first time to do I had them meet me here.

"Hey!" Alex greeted me with a kiss. He smiled down at the sleeping baby in my arms.

"Wanna hold him?" I asked, and he nodded in awe.

I slowly handed the baby over to him. He supported the baby's tiny head and cuddled him into his chest.

"He feels like he doesn't weigh anything." He commented, and I nodded.

"Yeah, I'm hoping he'll gain some weight and start to grow to the right size in a couple of months."

"Hey, Lil' Man." Alex said and shook the baby's foot. He woke up and opened his eyes and stared up at Alex. "Look at your little feet! You are so precious." He told him, and I chuckled. The baby began to let out a whine and Alex stopped.

"Okay okay I'll stop, cry baby." He told him. He removed his hand from his foot and he stopped crying.

"He's just sleepy." I said and rubbed his tiny stomach.

"It looks like he's slept twenty hours today. You don't need any more sleep." He jokingly scolded him, and the baby yawned.

"He needs his beauty rest."

"He doesn't need much with you as one of his dads." Alex said, making me blush.

"Stop." I playfully rolled my eyes and he kissed the side of my head.

"It's true." He shrugged and placed the baby back in the incubator, so he could sleep peacefully. "Oh, and I didn't tell you the good news! Rian called me this morning and told me that Hopeless Records called and wants us to make an EP with them! They're actually thinking about signing us!" He exclaimed, and I looked down as I continued to listen. "Today has been great so far, and now I get to hear the results of the DNA test." He continued optimistically, and I nodded, but I didn't say anything. His smile fell when he noticed. "Are you okay? What's wrong?" He asked, and I sighed.

"Nothing, I just hate that I have to do this." I said.

"Yeah I know what you mean. Let's just rip the Band-Aid off."

I sat, still, staring at my feet debating on what to tell him. I wished that I could pause time to have a few minutes with my thoughts.

"Jack." He grabbed my hand and I looked up at him. "Tell me what it said." He begged.

"I'm s-so sorry, Lex..." I said with a shaky voice and he dropped my hand. "I-I really wish I c-could tell you it was you." I sobbed, and he stood up and brought his hands to his face. I already knew where this was going. I was ready to hear him tell me that we couldn't be together anymore. He took a deep breath and removed his hands to run them through his hair.

"Hey, it's okay." He sat back down next to me and wrapped his arms around me. "Jack, look at me." He pulled away and said. I wiped my eyes and looked up at him. "It's okay, baby. We're okay."

"You mean you still want to be with me?" I sniffled.

"Yeah of course, silly! I told you I would. And I know that for sure now after seeing my beautiful stepson." He said, making a lump form in the back of my throat. I laid my head on his shoulder and he grabbed my hand.

"And now you can still be in the band with the guys." I told him, and he nodded.

"Uh yeah, I guess I can." He didn't sound happy about it.

"What's wrong? That's what you wanted isn't it?" I asked.

"Yes, but...it's just bittersweet." He said, and I nodded understandably. We sat on the hospital silently, hand and hand, for a few minutes. This was one of the hardest things I've had to do in my life.

"Have you told Zack the uh good news yet?" Alex asked after a while.

"Um no not yet. I wanted to tell you first." I said, and he nodded.

"Well I'm gonna go try to tell me parents. Um you should call him so you can tell him."

"Okay." I said, and Alex wiped away the last of my tears.

"I love you." He kissed me goodbye and left.

I felt numb being by myself after what just happened. I really wished Alex was happier with being able to tour with his band. It would have made me feel better with what I just told him. I tried my best to push those feelings down and I picked up my phone to call Zack.

Notes

Wait wait before you guys kill me in the comments, just know that I'm sorry and I'm too young to die! Also it's not my fault that this is happening lmao blame that stupid coin I flipped. There might be three (or more) chapters left so things could get better for Jack and Alex. And we get to see Alex's reaction/POV next chapter.