Secrets Don't Make Friends

Jack

It was two days after I had given birth and I was lying in my hospital bed alone. I talked my mom into going to work so she wouldn't have to waste her off days on me. She spent all day Saturday and Sunday with me so it didn't make sense for her to skip work today. I felt like I was at home on bed rest again though. I couldn't really move so much because I was still healing. Dr. McKinnon said that I should be able to go home either tomorrow or Wednesday. It didn't matter because I was still going to come back to the hospital every day to visit my baby. They brought him in to spend time with us everyday, but he was still in the incubator. Dr. McKinnon said that he was doing better, but it might still be a few days before he can come out of there. He was having a hard time controlling his body temperature still.

I heard a knock on my hospital room door and then it slowly opened. I smiled as I saw a nurse wheeling the incubator in my room. Even though I couldn't hold him I still got excited to see him. Also, the incubator had holes in it so I can stick my hand in and touch him.

"Hi! We thought we'd stop by to visit you." The nurse laughed as she placed him right next to my bed.

"Thank you!" I told her and slowly sat up.

"You're welcome. I'll be back in an hour to take him to get changed." She told me and then left.

"Hi mister!" I exclaimed and stuck my hand in the incubator hole. I softly rubbed his belly and he opened his eyes and shut them back. "Are you sleepy? Or does the light hurt your eyes?" I asked and placed my finger in his palm. He shut his hand around my finger and I chuckled.

"I can't wait to hold you." I smiled down at him. He yawned and wiped his face with his mitten-cover hand.

"Have you been scratching yourself? Is that why you have those cute little mittens?"

I heard another knock on the door and I called out for that person to come in. The door opened and Alex came in holding the weirdly shaped present from my baby shower. He sat it down on the bed and came over to hug and kiss me. Then he sat next to me on my bed and looked down into the incubator.

"Aren't you supposed to be at school?" I scolded him.

"Yeah but I have work after school so I wouldn't be able to come then."

"It's too close to graduation for you to be skipping." I said and he chuckled.

"I'll be fine. I'm passing all my classes." He brushed it off. "Hey lil' man!" He said down to the baby. I moved my hand out and let Alex put his hand in. He softly rubbed the baby's cheek. “Wow it’s crazy to think that he was just in your stomach a few days ago.” He added, making me laugh.

"He needs a name." I said. My mom tried to help me think of some yesterday, but I was too picky.

"He came before you got time to think about it so it's cool to take your time." He said and I nodded.

"I know, but it's weird not knowing what to call him when talking to him." I said and Alex laughed.

"You'll think of something." He turned towards me and kissed me on the forehead. "Oh, I bought that gift here so you could open it." He said, gesturing to the present he brought.

"I was curious about this one." I chuckled. I picked it up and ripped it open. It was a large weirdly shaped pillow.

"It's a thigh pillow! I bought it so you wouldn't have to use you real pillows as one. But I don't think you'll need it now that you're not pregnant anymore."

"Oh my gosh this so cute! And I'll totally still use it. Thanks!" I hugged him.

"You're welcome." He chuckled. I laid the pillow on my bed so I could use it tonight.

"Did they say when he would be able to get out of this?" He asked.

"No, the doctor still said it's going to be a couple more days or even a week." I repeated what I was told.

"Oh damn." He said and I nodded. "Do you um know when they can do the DNA test?"

"No. I haven't asked yet. I so scared. And my mom thinks I should wait until he's healthy enough to come out before worrying about it."

"Yeah, I get that. And I'm scared too, but whatever happens I'm still gonna be here with you." He placed his hand over mine and I looked down and smiled. The baby didn't have developed features so I couldn't even look at him and guess who was his other father.

"I just want him to be happy." I said while looking down at my baby. I think he was asleep now, his breathing was slow and peaceful.

"He will be because he has an amazing dad like you." Alex said and I chuckled.

"You're so sappy."

"What? It's true!" He laughed.

I turned to kiss him and we spent the rest of Alex's time here taking turns soothing the baby.

*****

"I talked to the nurse and she said they can do the test today and have the results back by next week." My grandma announced as she and my grandpa walked into my hospital room. My mom and I were sitting on my bed watching baby-no-name sleep.

"Wait wait what?" My mom asked.

"Jack's nurse told me that they can do the DNA test today and have the result back to us by tomorrow. He can finally know who the father is!" She cheered and my stomach sank. I wasn't ready for that yet.

"Mom, I told Jack we're gonna wait to find out who the dad is. We should be focusing on the baby getting healthy." My mom told her.

"We can multitask. And I'm sure both of those boys would like some closure. It's not fair to keep dragging them both along for the ride when only one of them is the father." Grandma said.

"I don't know if I'm ready for that grandma. Thinking about it is making me feel sick." I complained.

"Oh nonsense. Both boys seem like they're interested in being the father so either way it'll be fine." She brushed it off.

"But Alex and I are dating now, so if he isn't the father I feel like it'll mess our relationship up." I said without thinking.

"You're back with him?" Grandpa questioned.

"Oh, um yeah. I was going to tell you both but I um-"

"-decided to keep it a secret." He cut me off.

"Why don't you like him, Grandpa?" I sighed. "He's really not that bad of a guy."

"You're too good for him." He grumbled and I stared because that wasn't a good enough excuse.

"You are a smart and determined individual and that boy doesn't have any real ambitions besides that stupid band." He said.

"Not everyone wants to go to college, Grandpa." I told him.

"That's fine, but he needs a real job to help support you. Especially now if he turns out to be the father."

"He has a job at Target and he's going to start taking classes at the junior college once he graduates." I explained.

"Well it seems like he's matured pretty quickly." My grandma said.

"Yeah but I kind of feel bad for ruining his dream. He's wanted to be in a band ever since I met him. He and his friends have worked so hard." I sighed.

"Well maybe God has another plan for him." She said and I nodded.

There was a knock at the door and my mom went to go open it. She stepped to the side to let Zack in. He smiled at my grandparents and told them hello.

“Hi Jack.” He told me and I sighed.

"Hi." I grumbled. I was still annoyed that he signed custody papers.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

"Better than I did a few days ago." I quickly answered.

"That's um good." He commented. He walked over to the incubator and looked down at the baby. He smiled down and placed his hand in the glove.

"We're going to go down to the cafeteria and give you guys some privacy." My grandma said. She, my mom, and my grandpa walked out and closed the door behind them.

"He's so cute." Zack said while looking down at the baby. I stayed silent and he looked at me and sighed. “Jack I’m really sorry.”

“I just… Can we talk about something else?” I asked. I wanted to give Zack an opportunity to spend time with the baby, and suppress the urge to throw him out. I was trying to be the bigger person for the baby’s sake.

"Okay… I just found out that I got into NYU." He said, sounding upset.

"That's where you wanted to go right?" I asked and he nodded. "Then why do you sound so down about it?"

"Because it's too far from you two. And I need to be closer if I'm the father. So, I applied for Baltimore U and a few other colleges nearby."

As mad as I was at him, I felt horrible hearing him say that. My grandma was right; I need to find out who the father is quickly. It’s not fair that both Alex and Zack have to think about putting their dreams aside and they don't even know if their a father yet.

"Oh...I’m um sorry to hear that." I told him. “I feel bad for putting you and Alex through this.” I added.

"It's cool. Either way your baby will have two parents that love him very much. And as much as I hate the guy, Alex seems like he'll make a semi-decent stepdad...or dad. Just understand that everything will be alright no matter what happens." He told me. Zack was right, no matter what, my son was going to have two loving parents.

"Yeah unless he’s taken away from me.” I said quietly, but he still heard me.

“I’m really sorry Jack. I’ve been begging my parents to not file the papers, but my mom won’t listen and my dad won’t go against what she says. I can't imagine taking this little guy away from you.” He told me.

“That’s really nice, Zack but it means nothing if you can’t fix what you’ve done.” I said.

“I’m going to try my hardest to fix this.” He said sincerely and I nodded.

“Thanks.” I mumbled.

Zack sighed and turned back to the baby. He played with him through the incubator until it was time for him to leave. I could tell he didn’t want to leave the baby. I hated that he and Alex were getting attached to him so fast. It was only going to make the outcome harder on one of them.

"My grandma told me that I can take the DNA test tomorrow and get the results by next week." I told Zack before he could leave and he looked at me.

"Are you going to do it?" He asked, slightly begging me to say yes, with his eyes.

"Yeah. I kinda just want to get this over with. We need to figure out who's the dad so you can go to your dream school, or Alex can go to his dream job. Do you think you can stop by tomorrow to give a DNA sample?" I asked.

"Yeah of course!" He exclaimed. "I don't think I'll get any sleep until after we get the results." He added with a light chuckle.

"You and me both." I picked up my phone to send a quick message to Alex asking if he could come back tomorrow and give a DNA sample. He said yes so now everything was put into place.

Zack left, promising to come back after school tomorrow. The nurse came a few minutes after he left to hook my baby up to his feeding tube. He had to use one since he wasn't strong enough to suck from a bottle yet. I sighed as I watched him being fed. He wasn't in any pain, but it still hurt for me to see him this way.

"Hey, we're back. Look what they had downstairs." My Mom said as she handed me a giant M&M cookie.

"Oh thanks." I said, unenthusiastically.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"I just feel bad for him." I said and wiped my eyes.

"He's fine, he's getting all the calories he needs so he can become a big strong man. Yes you are!" My grandma said near the incubator.

"And it's only temporary, he'll get better at drinking from his bottle and you'll be feeding him in no time." My Mom added.

"Okay." I dried my eyes. "Grandma?" I said.

"Yes, Honey?"

"Do you think you can ask the nurse to do the DNA test tomorrow? I'm going to have Zack and Alex to come back tomorrow and gave a sample." I told her.

"Really?" She asked.

"Yeah, I'm ready to get this over with."

Notes

We're getting close to the end!!