Secrets Don't Make Friends

Jack

It’s been almost a month since I found out I have preeclampsia. I had a second appointment with Dr. McKinnon, but she told me nothing had changed. That wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it wasn’t good either. I was trying not to let this whole preeclampsia thing get me down. Staying in bed all day was a bummer, but it did have it positives. Everyone was waiting hand and foot for me. My mom and grandparents got me whatever I asked for whenever I asked for it. And I got all the foot massages I asked for, from Alex.

"Okay so I have strawberry sugar-free Jell-O with fruit inside." Alex announced as he walked into my room. He looked so cute, still dressed in his work uniform. I told Alex earlier that I had been craving something sweet. I couldn't eat anything I wanted because of the preeclampsia. So, Alex promised that he would bring me something when he got off work.

"Thank you so much!" I exclaimed and sat up. "You are literally a lifesaver."

"Anything for you and him." He said, gesturing to my stomach and making me smile. I ate a spoonful of Jell-O and hummed. "It's that good?" He asked and chuckled.

"You have no idea." I sighed contently. I put some on the spoon and held it out to him. I watched as he ate it and made a disgusted face.

"Jack, it tastes like water with fruit." He complained.

"Try going almost two months without sweets and then try it again." I said and he laughed.

"Has all of this helped any? What did the doctor say?"

"She um said nothing much has changed, but she told me that isn't a reason to worry. Only like five percent of people with preeclampsia have serious complications." I tried not to sound worried so he wouldn’t worry, but I don't think it was working. Alex placed his head on my shoulder and sighed. I began to rub his back soothingly.

"I wouldn't know what to do with myself if anything happened to you two." He mumbled.

"I'm not going anywhere and neither is the baby." I assured him. He continued to lay his head on my shoulder deep in thought. I finished my Jell-O and figured some fresh air would help.

"Let’s go outside. I think we both could use the air." I suggested and he nodded.

Alex carefully helped me out of bed and slowly walked with me to the living room. My mom was sitting on the couch watching TV when we walked in.

"Is something wrong?" She asked worriedly when saw us.

"No, I just want to go outside for some fresh air." I said.

"Okay. Just be careful. And don't sit out there too long."

"Okay."

We continued to walk out the back door to the back yard. Alex grabbed the blanket my mom kept outside and sat it on the ground for us. Then he helped me slowly sit on the ground. Everything was harder now that I was almost six months pregnant.

"Thanks." I told Alex and he nodded.

"No problem." He gently placed a kiss to the side of my head.

We silently sat outside enjoying the fresh air for a few minutes. This was the first time I'd been outside in four days. I've been inside mostly working on my work for my online classes.

"Prom is next month." Alex said after a while and I laughed. It funny how something that was supposed to be the highlight of my senior year slipped my mind.

"Oh my god, it is." I chuckled. "Are you gonna go?" I asked.

"I don't know. I feel like there's no point since you won't be able to come with me." He grumbled while pulling blades of grass.

"Don't be like that. You'll have plenty of fun there with your friends. Don't let my pregnancy ruin more of your senior year." I told him.

"Your pregnancy hasn't ruined my senior year. And I don't know. The only reason I entertained the idea of going to prom is because you wanted to go."

"Have they picked a theme yet?" I asked.

"Yeah its roaring twenties." He answered and I gasped.

"Lex that sounds so fun! You have to go! And take lots of pictures!"

"Why can't I just stay with you that night? We can have a movie night instead."

"We can have a movie night literally any other night. Just go! Please! For me!" I begged and he sighed.

"You know we're in this whole mess because you begged me to go to a party instead of letting me spend time with you." He joked, referring to Cass's party and the start of all of that drama.

"Shut up." I giggled. "You're going. Just no after parties." I demand. We weren't in a relationship again, but Alex was going to listen to me anyways.

"Yeah I guess I'll go." He said while still looking down. "I'm already giving up so much so I should probably enjoy prom."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"My mom said I can't continue with the band because I need to be here to support you and the baby." He sighed.

"What? No, you can do both, right?" I said.

"I don't know Jack, it doesn't sound realistic right now. We'll both be straight out of high school and I don't want to leave all the responsibility on you, your mom and grandparents, and my parents. That wouldn't be fair."

"I understand, but that just sucks. You've all worked so hard." It was sweet that Alex was actually going to quit his band to help me with the baby. It was like a bitter sweetness though because he was giving up his dream.

"Yeah it does, but I've been kind of given it some thought." He said and I looked at him to continue. "So I know I said I'd be there to help even if the baby turns out to be Zack's, but I don't think that'll work out anymore." He explained and my heart sank.

"Why not?" I asked, trying to hide my disappointment.

"I just don't think it's worth it to place my dreams aside for someone else's kid."

I know I shouldn't have been hurt by Alex changing his mind. That still didn't stop tears from falling from my eyes. I knew that there was a possibility Alex would change his mind but I was still caught off guard by his decision.

"Jack, I'll still be there for you if he turns out to be mine." He said and tried to wipe away my tears. I pushed away his hands and wiped them myself.

"So what happens if he's not yours? Do you just pack up all your shit and jump on the bus with Rian and Vic?" I asked angrily. "What about me? Do you only want to be with me if the baby is yours?" I questioned.

"No Jack, it's not like that at all."

"Then why don't you tell me what it is like."

"I just... We can still be together if the baby is Zack's. I'm just saying I won't really be responsible for the baby."

"How does that work if we're still together? I'll still be a parent even though you won't."

"Ugh why are you making this so complicated? Zack's parents are probably going to take the baby away anyways. You'll be free of to do whatever you want too."

"You never know, my mom and I might get custody." I said hopefully.

"Zack has a rich and successful father and a stay at home mom while you just have-" he cut himself off before he could finish.

"I just have what?"

"Nothing, never mind, forget it." He mumbled.

"I think you should go." I told him and looked at me.

"Jack I'm just trying to-"

"-Now Alex!" I demanded, letting my anger get the best of me.

"At least let me help you back inside." He said and I rolled my eyes.

"I can do it myself." I pulled myself to my knees and tried to get off the ground but a sharp pain went across my stomach.

"Ahhh!" I cried out as I fell back to the ground and grabbed my stomach.

"Jack, what's wrong?" Alex panicked as he moved closer to me. I couldn't do anything other than take deep breaths. The pain had gone as quickly as it came, but it scared me. "Stay right here, I'm gonna go get your mom." Alex told me and I nodded.

I stared down at my stomach as Alex left. Thankfully I could feel the baby moving so I knew he was okay.

"What happened?!" My mom asked as she ran outside to me.

"I'm fine, I promise. I just moved to fast, but I'm okay now." I assured her. She took a deep breath and ran her hands through her hair.

"This is why I don't like to let you out of bed." She scolded me. Every time I asked to go to the store with her or pretty much anywhere she would say no. It annoyed me and I always would complain about it, but now I see why she would always say no.

"Okay mom." I sighed, not in the mood to get lectured.

"Can you help me get him to his room?" My mom asked Alex.

"Sure." Alex told her.

"No, he's supposed to be leaving." I said stubbornly.

"Well unfortunately I can't get you off of the ground by myself so whatever is going on between you two will have to wait." She demanded. Alex chuckled and I huffed.

"Alright on the count of three." He told my mom as the both grabbed my arm. He counted down and the carefully got me off of the ground. Then they both walked with me back to my room. I couldn't move fast because Dr. McKinnon was afraid my placenta would accidentally get disconnected from my uterus.

"Okay Jack lift your leg a little higher." Alex told me as he and my mom tried to ease me into my bed. I did it and the sat me down.

"You only get out of bed to use the bathroom and to take a bath from now on." My mom told me and I nodded. She left out of my room leaving Alex and me alone.

"I guess I should get going now." Alex said and grabbed his stuff.

"...you don't have to." I mumbled, now hating the fact that I would have to stay in my room alone. He nodded and sat his keys and phone back down. I laid back in my bed and patted the spot next to me. Alex laid down and looked around for a pillow.

"Where's your second pillow?" He asked as he moved over to share my one with me.

"I use it as a thigh pillow." I answered and he stared at me.

"As a what?" He chuckled.

"A thigh pillow. I have to have one between my thighs." I lifted the cover to show him to pillow between my thighs.

"Why?"

"I don't know. It just feels good." I said and he playfully shook his head at me. I loved that we could go back to talking like nothing happened after arguing, but we needed to finish talking about everything and Alex knew that too.

"I'm sorry for upsetting you." He said and turned to face me. "I don't think Zack's parents deserve custody of the baby and I hope they don't get it. I sort of hope the baby is mine so you don't have to go through all of that."

"I know you didn't mean anything by it. And I kinda want him to be yours too, I just don't want you to have to quit the band."

"It'll be fine. Maybe I can make my parents proud by going to college. I can take some classes at the community college down the street."

"Yeah." I agreed. "But if he turns out to be Zack's and I get custody...I don't understand how our relationship will work out. I know you don't want to take care of a baby that isn't yours now because we're young and you have the band and stuff. But he's always going to be a part of my life and I want to be with someone that's going to love him and take care of him like he's their own too." I explained.

"I get that, I'm just saying I'll only stay here and give up the band if the baby is mine because I want him to know me and I want to take care of him. If he's Zack's then Zack will do that stuff and I won't be needed as much." He said.

"Yeah, I'm guess I'm just stressing cause I want to have a perfect family." I sighed.

"We'll find a way to make it work." He turned and kissed me on forehead and I cuddled into his side. "Quick question." He stated.

"Mhmm." I hummed.

"Does all of this mean we're back together?"

"Well I mean yeah if that's what you want." I said and he chuckled.

"Of course, it's what I want. I've been dying to actually kiss you." He said.

Alex leaned down and connected our lips. I smiled into the kiss and lifted my hands to the back of his head. We were so distracted with each other that we didn't hear my mom when she walked in.

"Wow you two were just fighting and now your making out." She said catching us off guard.

"Sorry." I said as Alex and I pulled away from each other and nervously chuckled. We both looked over at my mom and noticed there was a guy with her. He was probably the guy she's been going on dates with for the past couple of weeks. He didn't look bad and he didn't look much older than she was.

"It's okay I just wanted you to meet-" She was cut off by Alex.

"-Larry?" Alex said and the guy smiled.

"Alex? Wow I didn't even notice that was you." The guy laughed.

"How do you to know each other?" My mom asked.

"He's my drug-Ahem um he uh works with my dad." Alex lied and I rolled my eyes.

"I know what he does." My mom chuckled and Alex took a deep breath.

"Yeah I sell drugs to all the kids at his high school." Larry said.

"You're dating a drug dealer?" I condescendingly asked my mom, ignoring the guy.

"He only sells marijuana." She shrugged and I scoffed. "It's not even the hard drugs like meth and stuff." My mom said and I glared at her.

"I'm telling grandma." I threatened.

"No you're not!"

"Yeah I am. I don't want some drug dealer hanging out here." I complained.

"You don't care about Alex being here and he buys drugs."

"A drug dealer is way different from someone who just buys drugs." I defended.

"They're hardly different." She said and I picked up my phone. "If you tell her then I'll tell her that you got pregnant on purpose."

"That is a blatant lie." I told her.

"Well she doesn't know that."

"Get out! Get out of my room!" I yelled at her and she and Larry left. This was the most annoying part about having a young mom. She still went through phases and sometimes I had to be the adult.

"She's going to be an um good grandma." Alex said and I huffed and laid back in my bed. My phone began ringing and Alex looked at it for me.

"Who is it?" I sighed.

"Zack." He grumbled.

I lifted up and reached out for the phone. Alex looked down at my hand and frowned.

"Lex, I have to answer it." I rolled my eyes at him.

"No you don't."

"Yeah cause I haven't told him the gender yet and I have to see if he talked to his parents yet." I explained. Alex looked down at my phone angrily for a few more seconds then handed it to me.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hey, sorry we're you taking a nap?" Zack asked.

"No, I was just couldn’t find my phone at first." I lied. "But what's up?"

"Nothing much, I was just calling to check on you and the baby. Did you find out the gender yet?" He said and Alex rolled his eyes. I guess he could hear through the phone.

"I did! Do you want me to tell you?" I asked.

"Yeah!" He exclaimed.

"It's a boy." I said and he exhaled.

"Wow I can't believe it. That's exactly what I wanted." He said shocked and happily and I smiled. I was glad he and Alex were happy with the gender.

"That's exactly what I wanted." Alex quietly mimicked Zack and I hit his arm.

"Stop." I mouthed to him and he pouted. Then I continued talk to Zack. "Yeah I was happy to hear it was a boy too. Now just three more months and we can meet him."

"And figure out who the father is." He added and I gulped.

"Yeah. That too." I mumbled.

"I really hope I'm the father, Jack. Alex isn't cut out to be a dad. He's more concerned about the band than he is for you or the baby." Zack said and I sighed. I knew exactly what was coming.

"Fuck him. I'd be a way fucking better father than he could ever be!" Alex yelled towards my phone.

"Alex stop!" I yelled at him.

"Is he there with you now?" Zack asked.

"Yeah he-"

"-Jack hang up." Alex demanded.

"No Lex I just need to talk to him." I hadn't even gotten around to asking Zack about his parents decision yet.

"Why are you even still talking to him? He's already proven that he's a piece of shit when he dumped you once he found out you were pregnant."

"I only dumped him because I found out he had sex with you." Alex told him.

"Both of you stop." I said, I tried to turn down the volume on my phone, but Alex heard the next thing Zack said.

"You're just mad because he loved it. You should have heard him moaning in my ear." Zack teased and Alex grabbed my phone away from me.

"Where are you?" He fumed on my phone.

"No, stop! You're not going over there to beat the shit out of each other. That'll help no one." I reasoned while trying to get my phone back from Alex.

"I'm at home. I'll be on my front porch waiting on you." Zack said and hung up.

Alex handed me back my phone and got out of my bed. Then he began to put his shoes on.

"Alex please don't, just stay here with me. This all isn't necessary." I begged.

"I just want to talk to him." He stated.

"No, you could have continued to talk on the phone. You're going over there to fight."

"You don't understand." Alex sighed.

"I get it. Zack hurt your masculinity by telling you that he had sex with me. If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at me, Lex. I agreed to have sex with him. I knew Zack had a crush on me and I used that to get back at you for cheating. It's not his fault."

"No, it is his fault. He ran to you to tell you I cheated on you. Then he took advantage of you when you were vulnerable. I'm still fucking pissed at him."

"Alex, baby, we're finally back together. We don't even have to worry about Zack anymore." I told him.

"Except if he turns out to be the father." He said, dryly.

"Well yeah but that's just something we'll have to get over."

"I don't know if I can anymore, Jack."

"What does that mean?" I questioned, trying my best to sit up.

"I just... I don't know if I'll be able to do this if Zack is the father." He sighed. He was referring to being in a relationship with me. After the talk we just had he "didn't know" if he could be with me anymore? He was so unbelievable!

"But we just talked about this! You literally just said-" Alex cut me off before I could finish.

"- I know what I said, but I just don't know anymore, Jack." He said while dragging his hands down his face.

"I need someone who's going to consistently be in the baby's life. So far you've proven you can't even do it before he's been born, but surprisingly Zack can." I scolded him. "Zack has always been there for me and the baby regardless of his hatred of you. I believe he still would help us even if you turned out to be the father. Maybe he was right." I shook my head and laughed in disbelief.

"Right about what?"

"Maybe you aren't cut out to be a father yet." I told him.

Alex narrowed his eyes at me and grabbed his phone and keys before leaving. I didn't bother trying to stop him this time. I had a feeling nothing I said would even get him to stop. I know I was being a little dramatic, but all of this back and forth stuff was annoying me. Why couldn't he just make up his mind? Either he wanted to be with me or not; regardless of who is the dad of my baby. But I guess I really had no one to blame but myself.

Notes

This is my favorite chapter lol but I am sorry about them fighting again. On the plus side their are only like five more chapters until we find out who's the dad!

Title Credit: Drugs & Candy by ATL