Secrets Don't Make Friends

Jack

"Jack, we have to leave in twenty minutes." My Grandma told me from outside of my bathroom. She made an appointment for me to meet with an ob/gyn today. Luckily it was Wednesday so I would be missing school. Monday and a Tuesday were too much to handle and I needed a break. More people in my classes had asked me what happened between Alex and I, and each time I told them I didn't want to talk about it. That excuse probably wouldn't work for too much longer. I wondered what Alex would tell the people that asked him.

"I'm just straightening my hair Grandma, I'll be finished in ten minutes." I told her.

"Okay, make sure you keep drinking your water." She reminded me and I nodded. I picked up the sixty-four ounce water bottle she bought me and took a sip. I had to drink a lot of water so the sonogram would show up really good for the doctor.

I finished my hair and put on my shoes before meeting my mom and grandma in the living room. They both took off of work today to come with me to my appointment. My grandpa was still kind of "disappointed" that I was pregnant so he didn't want to come. I was kind of happy he didn’t come after the talk we had the day after my grandma told him I was pregnant. He mostly yelled, which I was prepared for, but now I was too embarrassed to be around him.

"Are you ready?" My mom asked and I nodded.

We went out to her car and she drove us to the doctor’s office. I didn't tell Alex or Zack that I was going to my first doctor's appointment today. Alex wouldn't have cared and it didn't feel necessary to tell Zack. I probably should at least have told Zack since he was actually taking this seriously.

We walked into the doctor’s office and my mom went to go check me in. I sat next to my grandma in the waiting room. I felt scared for some reason. I knew the sonogram wouldn't hurt, but being here in the doctors off made this all too real for me.

"Are you nervous?" My grandma chuckled, looking at my leg bounce up and down.

"Just a little. She's going to show me the baby in my stomach." I said and she nodded.

"I know it's scary to think about, but it's also kind of exciting. You'll be bringing a new life into this world."

"Which scares me even more because I'm so messed up." I mumbled.

"You sound so much like your mother." She playfully rolled her eyes. "You're not messed up, you've just hit a speed bump in the road and we're here to help you over it." She said and I sighed.

"I just wish I could have Alex here too."

"How can you still care about that boy when he broke up with you after finding out you're pregnant? That alone should be enough for you to hate him." She scolded me.

"I really wish I could hate him."

"Jack." A nurse called out for me.

My mom, grandma, and I followed her into the back part of the office.

"Hi I'm Cameron. Let's start off by having you get on the scale." She said and I nodded. I stepped onto the scale and watched the numbers go up. I hadn't weighed in a while but I figured my weight hadn't changed much.

"Okay one forty." She mumbled and wrote it down on my chart. That wasn't right. That was five pounds more than I remember myself weighing just a week ago.

"Um is the scale broken?" I asked and Cameron, my mom, and grandma all laughed.

"Jack you're pregnant." My mom reminded me. "Your weight is going to steadily increase."

I stepped off of the scale, not feeling any better about my weight, and we went into my room. Cameron took my temperature, blood pressure, heart rate, and blood for a blood test before leaving. She promised we wouldn't have to wait long for the doctor.

"Do I look like I've gained five pounds?" I asked once we were alone.

"Your face is a little rounder." My grandma answered. She couldn't just lie to me.

"So I look fat?" I asked. I don't remember caring much about my weight before, but now I felt like crying over my five-pound weight gain.

"No babe, you don't look fat. You look like you're in the beginning stages of pregnancy." My mom told me.

I looked down at my fingers trying to let her words make me feel better but it wasn't working. I knew she was lying. We stayed quiet until the doctor came in and introduced herself.

"Hi I'm doctor McKinnon it's nice to meet you all!" She greeted us. "I'm going to be your ob/gyn and here to help you throughout your pregnancy." She said to me.

"Okay." I told her.

"Alright so your blood test came back pretty good. We're positive that you're pregnant. And now we can do your sonogram so we can see the precious baby."

Dr. McKinnon had me lay back on the table and lift my shirt. My mom held my hand when she saw the nervous look on my face. I just wanted to get this over with so I could go home and go back to sleep.

The doctor rubbed a cold gel like material on my stomach. Then she grabbed a part of the sonogram machine and pressed it against my stomach. She looked at the screen as she moved the part around and tried to find the baby.

"Ah there we are!" She exclaimed when she found what she was looking for. I looked at the screen and saw a small grey dot. "There he or she is." She pointed to the screen.

"It's so small." I stared in amazement. That pea sized baby was actually in my stomach.

"Yeah the fetus will grow about a meter a day. So it'll get bigger over time." She chuckled.

"This baby is really a miracle." My grandma said as she wiped a tear from her eye.

"I'm going to give you all a few minutes while I go get copies of the picture for you. Is there a particular amount you need?" She asked.

"Um I think four." My mom answered for me and I nodded. I needed one for my mom and I, one for my grandma and grandpa, one for Alex, and one for Zack.

"Okay, I'll be right back." She said and left.

I wiped the gel off of my stomach with a napkin. Then I looked at my stomach for a few seconds before pulling my shirt down. It was weird to think about something being in my stomach and growing every day. I wondered what it would be like when I could actually see that I was pregnant. I was going to be huge by the time prom and graduation came around. Thankfully this was my last year in school so I wouldn't have experience too much torment for my condition.

"How do you feel?" My grandma asked me.

"Sleepy and hungry." I answered and she chuckled.

"I mean about the sonogram and seeing your baby?"

"Oh. I um feel okay I guess. It's still weird to me, but seeing the small dot on the screen made this feel real."

"There'll be other things to make this more realistic to you to. Like when you actually start showing, so you'll be well prepared in eight more months." She said and I nodded.

"Do you think grandpa will still be upset with me in eight months?" I asked, worriedly.

"No not at all. He's not mad at you. He's just disappointed, but he still loves you. You should come over and talk to him again tonight." She suggested and I sighed.

"Uh I’ll probably give it a couple of more days.” I mumbled.

"Okay I got four copies." Dr. McKinnon said as she stepped back in.

"Thank you!" My mom told her as she took the pictures. My grandma and I also thanked my doctor before leaving the office.

We went back to my mom's car and she drove us home. I stared at the sonogram pictures the entire ride home and even after we made it home. It was amazing to look at the picture and know that it was something inside of me.

"Okay Jack, I got two extra copies just in case you wanted to give one to Alex and Zack. You don't have to but I figured you might want to." My mom told me.

"Umm I probably should give them the first picture you know since it's the first one." I said and she nodded. I really just wanted to use this as an excuse to talk to Alex. I finally had a reason to go to his house once he got out of school today. Maybe seeing the picture of the baby would wake him up and he would change his mind and want the baby and me. The only problem was that he could also not be the father and Zack could be.

*****

School had ended an hour ago. I wanted to give Alex time to get home so he wouldn't have an excuse not to answer my call. I was also really nervous about calling him. I was just planning on telling him that I have an ultrasound picture for him so he can see the baby. I was hoping that would lead to him coming over so we could talk.

I took a deep breath and looked down at my phone. Alex's number was under my finger. All I had to do was press the number to call him. After another two minutes of trying to talk myself out of calling him, I pressed the call button. My phone started ringing and I placed it to my ear. It went to voicemail after four rings. I pulled the phone away from my ear and frowned. He definitely ignored my call. I pressed the call button again and put the phone up to my ear. This time the phone rang once before going to voicemail. I huffed and tried calling again, and I got his voicemail after one ring. This really pissed me off! Alex was acting like a child. I opened IMessages and sent him a text message.

Jack
Are you seriously ignoring my calls??
Delivered 4:22pm

I waited a few minutes but I never got a response back from him. I went to Alex's twitter to see if he had tweeted anything lately. That was the only way I would really know if he was near his phone.

Alex William @AlexanderG
People really need to learn to take a hint

I was one-hundred percent sure that that tweet was directed towards me. He had tweeted it one minute ago. There was no way to explain the amount of rage built up inside of me. The mood swings from my pregnancy was only making it worse.

If Alex wasn't going to willingly talk to me, I was going to forcefully make him. I stormed into my mom's room where she was lying in bed watching TV.

"Mom can you take me to Alex's house?" I asked angrily.

"Why? He's not answering you?"

"No! And since he won't answer I'm going to take the picture to his straight parents. Maybe he'll care once they know." I knew Alex hadn't told his parents yet because they would have called my mom to have a talk with us.

"Ooo I like angry pregnant Jack! Let's go!" She exclaimed.

I waited for her to get her shoes on then I followed her out to her car. I tightly gripped the photo as my mom drove us to Alex's house. I already knew what I was going to say to his parents. I could imagine the scared look on his face when they called him downstairs.

My mom pulled into Alex's driveway and I pulled my seatbelt off.

"Wait. Make sure you tell them that you think Alex is the dad. You can't say you know for sure." My mom told me and I sighed.

"Yeah I know." I said and she nodded.

I hopped out of her car and went to their door. I should have been nervous about this, but my anger made me act off of impulse. I rang the doorbell and waited. I played with the picture in my hands while I stood outside. Thirty seconds went by before I was ringing it again. Still no one came to open the door. I rang the doorbell three more times before huffing and walking away. I got back in my mom's car feeling so frustrated. Angry tears began to well up in my eyes.

"Maybe they're not home." She said while rubbing my back and I shrugged. I just wanted to go back home and forget about today. "Do you want to take Zack a copy?" She asked.

"No, I'll give it to him at school tomorrow since he actually talks to me." I said.

"Well maybe you can Alex his too tomorrow at school." She suggested.

"He won't give me the time of day at school." I exaggerated.

"Make him. Stop him in the hall or when he goes to the bathroom. Any way you can force him to take the picture. Once you do that then your job is done. It's up to him to try to make things right with you. And if not then you still have Zack. You said he's been really nice to you and has taking you home and stuff."

"Yeah but I don't like Zack in that way." I complained.

"It doesn't matter. There's a chance that he's the father too so you have to start taking his feelings and involvement in consideration." She said and I looked down. Part of me just wanted to keep assuming Alex was the father of my baby but I really needed to think about Zack too. There was a fifty-fifty chance for both of them and I didn't need to be caught off guard by the results.

"I will."

Notes

Title Credit: Take Cover by ATL