Ok, um, well this is awkward. I’m sitting here, tugging at my collar because this is making me very uncomfortable. I do not approve of anything that is going to happen in this part. Not at all. And neither should you. It’s a disaster waiting to happen. Things might have seemed to be going well, but it is going to be hell from here on. Nothing good. Now leave. I beg. Just trust me, ok? I know what I’m doing. I am the narrator here; I know the past, the present, and the future. All shit is going to go down.

You see, they took the one step they shouldn’t have. Despite all the warnings in his head and not consulting anybody about it, Alex decided to ask Riley out. Worst decision of his life. He didn’t know what it was going to be like to date her. This wasn’t like the usual dates he went on. It just doesn’t work that way. No, I do not consider Riley anything but a human being because of her condition. That just doesn’t make any sense. She was perfectly capable of feelings and was just as human as the next person. But being with her wasn’t easy at all.

No way of making a proper conversation; no way of finding out what the other was ok with and what not in a subtle way; no way of telling if the other was interested; no way of doing anything!

It’s a disaster waiting to happen.

Now, I’m going to be honest here and say it would have been a completely different story if Alex hadn’t been in a touring band and didn’t know a thing about sign language. I know I said Alex was your every-day guy before, but that wasn’t true at all. How the hell is anybody that’s gone almost the whole year even remotely normal! Sure, he didn’t have superpowers or anything, but still. Having a deaf girlfriend just isn’t an option. There was no way of contact other than through text and clear face to face interaction. Who can live apart for so long without at least having phone calls? Video calls obviously weren’t going to work either. Riley could understand him if the connection was great, but how would she get to say anything? Huh? Ever thought about that?

And what about if they actually got serious? Riley obviously wouldn’t live with her older brother anymore. That would just be awkward. Their love lives would practically be PDA the entire time. No thanks. So what else was she going to do? She couldn’t exactly live by herself when Alex was gone. Not because she wasn’t capable of all the household duties, but because there were small things she couldn’t do. Like answering the phone and going out to run certain errands.

So, why even start! Obviously, there are only cons. Nothing positive about it at all.

Alex was holding a picnic basket in one hand while he used the other to ring the doorbell of the house he was now quite familiar with. After having asked Riley out on a date, he had no idea what to actually plan for said date. He could hardly take her to the movies, but he also didn’t want to do something that wouldn’t fit as a first date. Going too far out wasn’t the right thing, but doing something a couple of friends did also wouldn’t work. So, he decided to think of something that would be visual, something she could also enjoy. What better place than a nice green park?

Nothing. No, literally, nothing would have been better. As in they-just-wouldn’t-go on-that-date nothing.

But, hey, this time I’m not getting what I want. I see how it is.

Riley’s brother was the one to open the door rather than Riley herself, but it was most often this way. It wasn’t like Riley could hear the doorbell anyway except if the yellow labrador signaled her, and she couldn’t exactly deal with a stranger who had no idea about her condition. Alex was quite nervous if he said so himself. Every first date was pretty nerve wracking, but this one just made the butterflies in his stomach go a little more crazy than usual. He was nervous to see if this newfound friendship could lead to anything romantic, nervous because he didn’t want to screw up, and nervous because he wasn’t exactly sure what to do.

If only the nerves were enough for him to turn around and never come back…

“I swear to god, if you fuck this up in any way, I won’t hesitate to hurt you,” was the first thing Riley’s brother said to Alex--not even a 'hi' or another acknowledgement came before, “if you’re not remotely serious about this, you better leave right now. Riley doesn’t get asked on many dates and if you’re the one to ruin the experience for her, you're gonna wish you’d never had seen her walk her dog in front of your house.”

Alex gulped and nodded, still trying to turn the whole situation into a light one as a defence mechanism against his insecurities. “Way to boost my confidence.”

“I’m being serious here. Don’t you dare get her hopes up only to break her heart.”

Now, that guy understood me! He was making it so much more difficult on them and was practically going against the whole idea of them getting in a relationship. Riley’s brother (let’s call him Mike… no… Brad…. No, not that either. Hmm, let’s call him Casper. Why? I don’t know, it’s just his name now) understood all the consequences and knew it was better if they never went this far. He was really happy that Riley had made a new friend, but he did not feel like supporting the new feelings they had. He knew just exactly how hard it was to live with a deaf person, and some random dude a few houses down wasn’t going to be able to suddenly take over. Plus, Riley was never asked on dates and never went on them. He was afraid that this guy was going to think it was fun in the beginning, only to realize just how difficult it was, and dump her, breaking his little sister’s heart. That did not sit right with him, and neither does it sit right with me.

Before Alex could come with a proper response that didn’t determine his whole future for him but also wouldn’t hinder his actions now, Casper had another thing to add… a quite peculiar thing to add. “Did you bring any food containing kiwi?”

“Kiwi?” Alex asked and looked at his basket, trying to remember exactly what he had bought and/or made. “No… should I have?”

“No, she’s allergic to kiwi. Never feed her kiwi.”

“O-- okay.”

There was no more time for Casper to interrogate Alex, since the sound of paws hitting the hardwood floor had already distracted them. Riley came right after the yellow labrador, wearing a little, blue paisley-patterned sundress that made Alex feel like she was way out of his league. People were going to be out looking at them on their date, wondering how somebody as beautiful as her ended up with somebody like him. He for sure didn’t want to mess this up one bit.

Riley gave Alex her signature wave, making his nerves calm down just a little bit. This was his yellow-labrador girl we were talking about, there was no need to worry. However, before Alex could wave back, Casper had something to say… well, to sign. He was communicating to his sister without speaking out loud for Alex to hear what was going on. Normally he would do it, but something told Alex this was because they were talking about him. And Riley seemed to be pretty fed up and a little angry, which comforted Alex in a strange way. If they actually had been talking about him as he suspected, it felt good to know that Riley was most likely defending him. A good start to a new relationship… or so he thought…

Casper sighed when he noticed his sister wasn’t going to drop what they were talking about and turned to Alex instead. “Bring her back by nine-thirty even if she says that coming back later is ok. It will not be ok.”

“I’ll make sure to bring her back by that time,” Alex assured with a smile, not wanting to set him off any more than he already had. Now, this was the sort of protectiveness Alex had expected the first time he had rung the doorbell of that house.

Riley had had enough of her brother’s constant drilling. Ever since Alex had asked her out one day as she walked past his house with Iggy and she came back home excited, her brother had been telling her to think about it properly. She knew that he was just trying to protect her, but she also realized that if she didn’t take this opportunity, she’d never forgive herself. What if it was going to turn into something good? (Which is very unlikely, let me tell you). And if it did end, she’d at least have some experience. She could hardly stay inside and hide the entire time.

So, she stomped out of the house, Iggy right by her side as the leash was tugged, and she grabbed Alex’s arm to pull him along as well. She didn’t bother to give a proper goodbye to her brother and kept hold of Alex as she walked down the driveway. Her grip wasn’t loosened until they were on the sidewalk and Alex had to guide them.

He pointed to the left and they started walking in that direction, Alex holding his basket and Riley clutching onto the leash of her yellow labrador. Alex wasn’t sure whether they were sharing an awkward silence or not. For all he knew, this could have just been another minute of Riley’s day, or she felt the same awkwardness Alex was definitely feeling. He wasn’t sure why things were a little awkward. Maybe it was because of what had just happened before, maybe it was just the first date awkwardness, or maybe it was because he didn’t know what the hell he had to do!

You see, nothing good already. If Alex didn’t know what to do now, how the hell would he know what to do in any other situation? It was obvious nothing good was going to come out of this. What the hell was he thinking! I obviously was completely right. This was going to be way too difficult for him.

But, of course, Riley decided to break the silence. Well, not literally, because her whole life was silence, and she wasn’t actually making any noise other than the sound of her pen scribbling on paper. She quickly wrote down something for Alex and held up the notepad so he could read it: ‘He’s an asshole’.

Alex shook his head, disagreeing with her. Of course, if you took it out of context he would have seemed like a dick, but considering everything around it, it was only natural. He wanted to say something along with his thoughts, but it was pretty difficult to do when also walking. It didn’t stop him, though. “He’s your brother, I would have done the same thing.”

Riley only managed to lipread half of it, but got the main gist, knowing what he was trying to say. It was quite complicated to pay attention to where one was walking while also trying to focus on somebody else’s mouth. Lip reading from an angle was already quite difficult enough. At least she had already chosen a sign to use whenever he had to repeat what he had said. She’d just sign ‘again’ and he’d know to re-say whatever he had said before.

‘He said I couldn’t trust you,’ she wrote down next, still on the same page as before, ‘can I trust you?’

And that question caught Alex off guard. He knew exactly why her brother had been warning her. The stereotypical rockstar could not be trusted at all, and while Alex had occasionally also participated in that behavior, he usually stayed away from the negative parts. But that didn’t mean that they sometimes managed to sneak into his lifestyle. He had broken hearts before without thinking too much of the consequences. He knew that he wouldn’t ever intentionally want to hurt his yellow-labrador girl, but he wasn’t sure about the accidental aspect.

Another downside of getting his point across when with Riley. He would have mumbled out his answer to show his thought process, but he could hardly mumble around Riley. She couldn’t read his lips if he did that and he’d have to repeat what he said, which he did not want to do. But staying silent after that question was an even worse option. It was practically the worst answer he could give her.

So, instead, he put on a smile once again and told her, “I hope so.”

A little while later, the pair had found a nice spot to sit in a quiet park. Alex only chose a quiet park so that Iggy wouldn’t get distracted, not because the date couldn’t commence with a loud noise level. Honestly, I would have laughed at Alex if he really had a mindset of having to choose a quiet place for Riley. That would have been hilarious.

They placed a blanket on the grass, took the food out and put it in front of them as they themselves sat down on the edges. Iggy was content rolling around on the grass after Riley gave her the signal that she didn’t have to 100-percent be on duty anymore. Of course, Iggy always watched out, but sometimes she was in full service-mode, and other times she also got to act like any other normal dog. She still stayed close, and slowly but surely her fur started turning green as well.

Alex was desperately trying to learn some sign language while Riley just laughed at him. Although he really did want to get things right, his mistakes let him hear the cute laughter Riley would emit. Many people believe fully deaf people can't laugh, but laughing isn't something you learn from listening, it is a normal human reaction. It wasn’t like she also didn’t cry, yawn, or sneeze. Of course, she was sometimes way too loud because she had no idea how loud she was being, and other times she was very quiet out of fear of being loud.

“Ok, I might not be able to remember the whole alphabet, but at least I’ve got my name down!” Alex could help but laugh along with Riley, still trying to articulate his words properly through his giggles so that Riley could understand his defense. He proceeded to sign out his full name, not his nickname, to show off how proud he was of his little progress.

Riley burst out with laughter again, this time way louder than any other time. Alex frowned, not understanding why it was so funny. He thought he had done pretty well himself. Yet he had obviously done something wrong.

‘Alexamder?’ Riley wrote down in a shaky handwriting due to her body still shaking as she continued to let out occasional giggles.

“What?” Alex asked, re-signing his name to see what his mistake had been. He, however, couldn’t find it.

Riley shook her head and made a gesture Alex had used, pointing at the ‘M’ she had written in place of the ‘N’ in his name and underlined it a couple of times with her pen. She then made a clear sign of what and ‘N’ was in ASL. It was only placing your thumb one finger further.

“I give up,” Alex groaned and let himself fall back so he was lying down, stretching out his arms and closing his eyes.

Riley crawled closer to him, sneakily enough for Alex not to notice anything. She grabbed a chip and put it in his mouth, trying to prove he wasn’t actually dead. Alex chewed and swallowed the food and said a ‘Thanks’. As Riley continued to sit there, her legs nearly against his torso, he couldn’t help but sit up in a swift motion and tackle her to the ground. As soon as he had the upperhand, he started tickling her, making the sweet sound consume the silence once again.

At this rate, Alex was only making it even harder for himself. He was proving that this was a horrible mistake. He was never going to communicate properly. And communication is a key element of a healthy relationship. I tell you, this is going to fail before it has even started. It’s like trying to communicate to somebody who doesn’t know a word of your language and you don’t understand a word of theirs. Well, that is literally what this is. They should just give up.

It wasn’t until later that the real shit went down. And when I mean shit I don’t mean exciting shit, I mean run-while-you-still-can shit.

Their picnic had long been cleaned up and Alex decided that taking a walk was the perfect thing to do to fill up the extra time they still had. He didn’t need to think about going home until nine. They were still practically in the neighborhood, so it wouldn’t take more than half an hour to walk back. But there was one more thing he wanted to do before that time came. It was already eight-thirty, and he had been wanting to do it since halfway through their date, which was at around seven. Only now did he actually build up the little confidence he needed. It actually still wasn’t enough, but time was also a factor now. It was either do it or stay friends forever.

He said something, but Riley couldn’t make out what the words were and asked him to repeat it, trying to zone in on his facial features.

I, personally, would have chosen the ‘stay friends forever’ option. It was the less risky one. No need to worry about what was to come, no commitments or ties, easy escapes, the ability to slowly build up understanding. If anything, I would have given the friendship a year before it all went to the gutter. A relationship wasn’t going to be any better than that. Probably even worse. The situation they were in would have driven me crazy, honestly. Better be safe than sorry, right?

Alex slowed down his words, realizing that his nerves had made him mumble and speed up what he had said the first time. So, he took a deep breath, remembering that he had no problem going up on stage for nights on end. This should have been easy to him. “Can I kiss you?”

Riley understood clearly this time and stared right back at him. Her eyes were wide and her heart was beating way too quickly. She was expecting him to correct himself, that he figured out what it sounded like what he had said. But he just looked right back at her, awaiting a reply. Her gaze flickered to his non-moving lips as if that were supposed to give her a sign about whether she had read what he had said correctly. Still, he just watched her. She scrambled to get out her notepad so she could give him an answer, but with shaky hands, it was a lot more difficult than usual. Before she had even gotten close to getting it out of her pocket, Alex’s lips were on hers.

He was careful at first, hoping he hadn’t misunderstood her signals. Her slightly longer gaze that stayed on his lips and her fidgeting seemed to him like she was ok with it, but just a little bit nervous about it. So, he had gone for it. Luckily for him, she started kissing him back almost immediately. Her arms, although she was still holding the leash, circled around his neck to make the height different a little more comfortable. Both their hearts were going crazy, their brains shutting off, and their--

Iggy tugged on the leash, causing the kiss to be broken apart as Riley had to step to the left to make sure she didn’t lose her balance. Now, that’s my kind of dog!

Riley glared at the yellow labrador retriever, annoyed with it trying to break them apart. It was almost as if her brother had trained it to make sure no kissing would happen! But then a fire truck came rushing past, its lights flashing in emergency. Of course. Iggy had just been warning Riley that there were sirens.

She giggled and turned back to Alex, resuming her previous position and going back to kissing him.

Fuck.

Couldn’t they have just given up?

Notes

I feel like it should be easier for you guys to give me suggestions now you know where this story is heading towards. Weird thing about this chapter, for some reason it just wouldn't reach my usual word count, and now it's way over. Maybe it wasn't counted properly... I swear to god it was stuck at 1534 for ages!
But, please, do suggest things! I don't know what to do otherwise.