Trigger warning- Mentions self harm and suicide talking

Alex's POV

"I'm going out." I said to dad as I put some drinks in my bag along with some food.
"Where you going to then?" Dad asked and looked at me from the papers he was marking.
"To meet Jack, he sounds like he could do with a friend right now." I said and dad smiled.
"Good thing your being that friend Lex." Dad said and I smiled a little.
"Feel like he is different from all the other people I've called friends." I said and dad frowned a little.
"Probably because you had sex with him and you have some lovely hickies round your neck." Dad said and I rolled my eyes.
"Could be you never know." I said.
"Anyway, I'm going if you need me I have my phone on me." I said and dad nodded and went back to marking his papers.
"Be careful and be safe." Dad said.
"Always am." I said and walked out the house and went of to meet Jack.

When I got to the hill I saw Jack and I couldn't help but smile as I walked over and sat next to him.
Jack looked at me and I saw that he had a black eye and that he had a cut on his cheek.
"Jesus Jack, what happened?" I said and gently placed my hand on his cheek.
"The crack whore who is meant to be my mother found me at work this afternoon." Jack said quietly and moved his face from my hand which made me look down.
"Why did she punch you?" I asked and Jack shook his head.
"Jack you have to open up. You know I won't tell a soul on what you have been through." I said and Jack looked at me and smiled but he quickly looked down again.
"She punched me because I wouldn't give her money. Also because she didn't have any drugs on her. She's horrible when she's off the drugs, she's also horrible on the drugs but she's not as bad as when she's off them." Jack said.
"Why did she want the money for? If she wanted drugs surely she's able to fund her addition since she got herself into it in the first place." I said clearly not getting this and Jack could clearly see this which made him chuckle.
"She needed the money for drugs, but she'll say that she's being kicked out the house, which probably won't surprise me to be honest. Technically my father got her into the drugs." Jack said.
"But that still doesn't explain why she can't fund her own addition rather go to her 17 year old son for money all because she's too high to actually get a job like normal people." I said and Jack chuckled.
"Because if she's can't pay for the drugs she sleeps with the dealer. Why do you think Ruby is here." Jack said and I looked at him and frowned.
"But that still doesn't explain the black eye." I said.
"I'm having nothing to do with her anymore, she came into work today and said she needed money. I didn't give it to her but I know she'll go into my savings and take the money from there." Jack said sadly and he looked down.
"She can't do that, that's horrible in so many ways." I said.
"I've been waiting for it to happen. But even so, I can't go to college because the earnings I had after I pays for bills and food went into my savings. As long as she doesn't touches Ruby's savings I don't care." Jack said.
"She can't do that Jack." I said.
"Well she's a fucking drug addict. Where there is money she will fucking find it and steal it just fuel herself up with drugs. She doesn't fucking care Alex, she never cared about me, Charlie or Ruby. She used us to get money off the government. She can't do that anymore because I have Ruby. We was just money objects to her." Jack said seriously and looked out to the view the hill had.
I looked down and stayed quiet.

I looked over at Jacks arms since it was warm outside so everyone was walking round in just t-shirts, I was but I kept my arm hidden from Jack.
I noticed some burn scars on his arm and I could feel Jack looking at me out the corner of his eye so I quickly looked away from Jack and looked at my arm instead.
"Lex look at me." Jack said using the nickname dad called me with made me smile but I didn't look at him.
"Babe, look at me." Jack said more seriously and he knew I was more than likely to look at him when he called be babe.
I looked at Jack but looked down again.
Jack made me look at him.
"I'm sorry I shouldn't of been so nosey and looked at your arm." I blurted out and Jack laughed softly and he kissed me which I was more than happy to return.
"I don't care." Jack said and he pulled me to his side which I cuddled up into.
I could feel Jack looking at my arm.
"They look like they was deep." Jack said softly as he traced his finger over the scars.
"They was, I hit a vein and got down to muscle." I said and I felt Jack kiss the side of my head.
"Why down your arm and not across like other self harmers?" Jack asked.
"It's meant harder for the doctors to stitch back together. I dunno it's a theory in my eyes." I said.
"Did you have to go to hospital?" Jack asked and I nodded.
"Yeah, I had to be put under observation/ suicide watch which I didn't like so I fought pretty much everyone so in the end they had to sedate me."
"So your completely different when your having a episode?" Jack asked and I shrugged my shoulders.
"You can say that. But you have to notice the warning signs really early on because I get to the point where I'm need help but I won't ask for it. It's normally when I get to the self harm and suicide stage when people notice by which point it's normally too late and I end up in hospital." I said.
"When did this all start?" Jack asked and I looked down.
"It started when I was 13, everything got too much and I overdosed on painkillers and made this scar." I said and pointed to one of the scars.
"Do you know what's wrong with you?" Jack asked and I shook my head.
"I know I have anxiety but I was tested for that before I came to live with dad. But I'm getting tested for some other stuff but is haven't got anything." I said.
"I have some beers in my bag, you look like you could do with a beer." I said and pulled a beer out of my bag and gave it to Jack which made him smile.

"So you coming back to mine?" I asked as we walked back since it was now dark.
"No, I'm on babysitting duty. So you can stay round if you want?" Jack said and I smiled.
"Sure, but with kids in the house we're not having sex." I said.
"Damn, there goes my plans." Jack said and I chuckled.
"Sorry to rain on your parade." I said and Jack smiled.
"You'll never rain on my parade." Jack said and I looked at him and smiled.
Jack stood in front of me and because I wasn't looking where I was going I walked into Jack.
I looked up to Jack and Jack had this sort of smile in his face which I couldn't explain yet.
Jack pulled me close to him and he kissed me which I returned.
We pulled back and I looked at Jack and laughed softly and looked down.
I looked back up at Jack and saw Jack smiling back at me.
"Let's go babe." Jack said and I just rolled my eyes at him.
"I'm not your babe." I said.
"Yet." Jack simply said and we walked in a comfortable silence back to Jacks.

Notes