Dirty Laundry
20
2012
Sitting at her desk in her office in the back of the gallery, Riley stared at her computer. She was desperate to concentrate on the work in front of her, but it was next to impossible. It has been a week since she finally told Alex about Summer and it had also been a week since she last spoke with him. After two days when he didn’t call, she wanted to text him but she couldn’t. He said he would call and she wasn’t going to make a fool of herself by contacting him first. If this was his way of ending things, she was going to have to let it be. She’d experienced it before so she had been preparing herself since she left Alex’s house that night.
A light knock to her closed office door grabbed Riley’s attention.
“It’s open,” she called out, leaning back in her desk chair.
“Hey Riley; I’m sorry to bother you.” It was Jill, one of the gallery’s newest interns. “I don’t want to sound like a super fan but Alex from the band All Time Low is up front asking for you… He says he’s your boyfriend.”
Riley’s eyes widened and she sat up straight. “Alex is here?”
“He sure is,” Jill nodded. “Why is Alex from All Time Low here asking for you and saying he’s your boyfriend?”
“Because he is my boyfriend,” Riley answered with a chuckle. “Or at least he was a week ago…”
Riley could tell that Jill wanted to ask more question but was holding herself back. Because Riley wasn’t so much older than their interns, she had a tendency to become very friendly with them and had to remind herself that it wasn’t exactly appropriate to share details with them about her personal life.
“Tell him I’m on a conference call and won’t be out for a little while,” Riley first said but then shook her head. “Wait, no, I don’t want to lie. Plus, he might just leave then and I don’t want that…”
“I don’t think he’s going anywhere. He’s got that look that all boys get when they know they did something wrong,” Jill said. “I’ll tell him you’ll be a few minutes.”
“Really? He looks like that?” Riley asked, opening and closing her desks drawers in search of some lip gloss.
“Without a doubt,” Jill nodded.
“But other than that he looks really cute, right” Riley frowned.
Jill laughed. “Well, personally, I’m more of a Rian girl, but yeah… He looks really cute, too.”
“Crap,” Riley groaned, standing up and walking towards the mirror that hung on the wall and frantically trying to fluff up her hair.
“You look great,” Jill encouraged.
“Are you sure?” Riley asked, feeling incredibly lame.
“Totally sure,” Jill nodded. “He’ll be begging for your forgiveness as soon as he’s sees you.”
“I’m not so sure he’s the one that needs to be begging for forgiveness,” Riley mumbled to herself even though she knew Jill would hear.
“I guess I shouldn’t be so quick to assume it was the guy that screwed up. Girls are just as capable to screw up as men,” Jill corrected herself.
“I did screw up. I screwed up pretty big actually.”
Jill just nodded and chose not to push the conversation any further again as to not cross any lines.
“I never told him about Summer,” Riley confessed. She was nervous that Alex was there and suddenly had word vomit. She was just glad it was coming out in front of Jill and not Alex.
“Wow,” Jill tried to hide how surprised she was by that.
“He’s probably still mad at me,” Riley said with a shrug. “So I should go out there and just get this over with.”
"Yeah, of course,” Jill nodded. “But can I ask you one more question real quick?”
Riley leaned her head to the side slightly. “Go ahead.”
“Have you met Rian yet?”
Riley laughed, probably the first real laugh she let out in a week. “Yes, I have.”
Jill smiled, leaning in closer to Riley as they started to make their way to the front of the gallery. “Are his teeth as white in person?”
Riley laughed again. “They’re probably whiter.”
“Good to know,” Jill laughed. “Good luck,” she whispered as she made her way back towards the front desk.
“Hey,” Alex said, trying to fight the smile on his face from growing too wide when Riley started walking towards him.
“Hey,” she said back, stopping in front of him and not knowing how to greet him.
Alex leaned down and kissed her quickly on the cheek. “How are you?”
“I’m fine,” she answered shortly. She knew they were in this position because of her bad decisions, but it didn’t make it any less frustrating for her that Alex all but disappeared on her for a week.
“Do you have a minute? Can we go for a walk?” he asked, awkwardly rocking back and forth in front of her and shoving his hands in the front pocket of his jeans.
“Yeah,” Riley shrugged. “Jill, I’m going to step out for a few minutes. I have my phone in case you need me, okay?”
“Not a problem.” Jill smiled from behind the front desk. “I got this.”
Alex placed his hand on the small of Riley’s back as he led her towards the exit and outside. They continued to walk up the block in complete silence. Riley easily could have just asked him what was going on but she was being stubborn and didn’t want to be the first to speak.
Alex also didn’t like the silence they were walking in and knew he needed to be the first one to speak but for whatever reason he was nervous and afraid of saying the wrong thing. Plus, he knew he screwed up when he went a week not talking to Riley.
“Okay. I can’t do this anymore,” Riley was the first to break. “We’ve walked three blocks, Alex. If you’re going to break up with me, just do it. I can’t walk any further from the gallery with you because it’s going to be really embarrassing to have to walk all the way back behind you while I’m crying.”
“Riley, I’m not going to break up with you,” Alex assured her, reaching for her hand.
“You’re not?” Riley asked, looking up at him very confused.
“I’m not,” Alex nodded. “Admittedly, going MIA for a week was not the best way to deal with all this but I really just needed the time for myself to process it all and figure out what I wanted.”
“And? What did you figure out you wanted?”
Alex reached for her other hand and gave them both a squeeze. “You, Riley. I want you.”
Riley gnawed on the inside of the bottom of her lip to pretend her smile from growing too wide.
“I’m sorry I took so long. I know you told me about all the bad experiences you’ve had with guys disappearing on you and I swear that was never going to be my intention. Like I said, I just needed time.”
“You don’t have to apologize,” Riley said quietly. “It was my lies that got us into this mess anyway.”
“That’s true,” Alex shrugged causing Riley to laugh slightly. “But I’m still sorry. A week was a long time.”
Riley nodded. “That’s also true.”
“It was a good thing though. I’ll be honest; when you left my house that night I was pretty sure I was going to end this. I was so hurt and angry that you would keep such a huge secret from me. Even after trying to put myself in your shoes, I still couldn’t wrap my head around it. I just thought we were so much closer than that.”
Riley took in a shaky, deep breath as she shifted uncomfortably in front of Alex. Even though he had already told her he wasn’t going to break up with her, it didn’t make her feel any better to know that he had considered for a bit. “I’m sorry,” was all she could mumble.
“Eventually I was able to put myself in your shoes and while I still don’t like it, I get why you did what you did. I just wish you didn’t let it go as long as you did.”
“I’m sorry,” she said again.
“Hey,” Alex smiled, reaching over to touch her cheek lightly. “I realized, at the end of the day, I wanted to be with you. What we have, for the short time that we’ve had it so far, is so special and so different than anything I’ve had with anyone else… I wasn’t ready to let it go just yet.”
Riley looked up at Alex with tears welling up in her eyes. “You're sure?”
“Absolutely,” Alex said, smiling.
“Oh, thank God!” Riley exclaimed, throwing her arms around Alex’s neck and pulling him in for the tightest hug she could manage.
Alex laughed as he circled his arms around Riley’s waist, squeezing her back just as tight.
“I’m so sorry, Alex,” Riley said, leaning back just enough so she could look him in the eye. “I just hope that you understand that me not telling you sooner was less about you and more about me and my own issues and I hope you didn’t take it too personally.”
“I did,” Alex laughed, “But I don’t so much anymore.”
“Well, you don’t have to at all. It’s all on me. I’m a hot mess,” she said, loosening her arms from around his neck.
“Eh,” Alex shrugged. “I’m not sure about the mess part, but you might be on to something with the hot part.”
Riley laughed as she leaned up and lightly pressed her lips to his. “Thank you for being so understanding.”
Alex smiled, kissing her back. “Like I said, I was ready to let this go.”
Riley smiled before kissing him again. “Good, because I wasn’t ready to let you let this go.”
“And hey, I feel it is safe to assume that your daughter is important to you?”
“Yeah…” Riley shrugged. “She’s up there.”
“Well, we’re a team now, so whatever is important to you becomes important to me. So, while I may not know a damn thing about kids, aside from the fact that I still kind of am one, I can’t wait to meet…” Alex paused, realizing Riley hadn’t mentioned her daughter’s name.
“Summer…” Riley filled in.
“Summer,” Alex repeated. “I can’t wait to meet Summer.”
“You want to meet my daughter?”
“Of course,” Alex said, grabbing Riley’s hand and leading her back in the direction of the gallery.
“Wow,” Riley muttered to herself. She wasn’t sure why this was such a shock to her.
“If you’re not ready for it, I get that but I just wanted to make sure you knew that I was ready.”
Riley stopped walking and looked up at him again. “You really are amazing, you know that?”
“I know,” Alex said with a smirk as Riley snaked her arms around his neck again. “But it doesn’t hurt to hear it once in a while,” he finished, placing his hands on her hips.
Riley smiled, kissing him again. “If you’re totally sure you want to do this, I’ll have that ‘Mommy has a boyfriend’ talk with Summer tonight and we’ll go from there.”
“Great,” Alex said, biting down on his lip.
“Wait… Are you sure it’s great? You’re biting your lip. You only do that when you’re nervous,”
Riley pointed out, dropping her arms from his neck and placing her hands over his that still rested on her hips.
“No,” Alex shook his head quickly. “It’s definitely okay. I’m just nervous now.”
Riley frowned. “You have no reason to be nervous.”
“What if she doesn’t like me?” Alex asked.
“That’s impossible. How could she not like you? Like you said, you’re still a kid yourself. You’ll get along just fine.”
Alex nodded. “Okay, fine… But what should I wear?”
Sitting at her desk in her office in the back of the gallery, Riley stared at her computer. She was desperate to concentrate on the work in front of her, but it was next to impossible. It has been a week since she finally told Alex about Summer and it had also been a week since she last spoke with him. After two days when he didn’t call, she wanted to text him but she couldn’t. He said he would call and she wasn’t going to make a fool of herself by contacting him first. If this was his way of ending things, she was going to have to let it be. She’d experienced it before so she had been preparing herself since she left Alex’s house that night.
A light knock to her closed office door grabbed Riley’s attention.
“It’s open,” she called out, leaning back in her desk chair.
“Hey Riley; I’m sorry to bother you.” It was Jill, one of the gallery’s newest interns. “I don’t want to sound like a super fan but Alex from the band All Time Low is up front asking for you… He says he’s your boyfriend.”
Riley’s eyes widened and she sat up straight. “Alex is here?”
“He sure is,” Jill nodded. “Why is Alex from All Time Low here asking for you and saying he’s your boyfriend?”
“Because he is my boyfriend,” Riley answered with a chuckle. “Or at least he was a week ago…”
Riley could tell that Jill wanted to ask more question but was holding herself back. Because Riley wasn’t so much older than their interns, she had a tendency to become very friendly with them and had to remind herself that it wasn’t exactly appropriate to share details with them about her personal life.
“Tell him I’m on a conference call and won’t be out for a little while,” Riley first said but then shook her head. “Wait, no, I don’t want to lie. Plus, he might just leave then and I don’t want that…”
“I don’t think he’s going anywhere. He’s got that look that all boys get when they know they did something wrong,” Jill said. “I’ll tell him you’ll be a few minutes.”
“Really? He looks like that?” Riley asked, opening and closing her desks drawers in search of some lip gloss.
“Without a doubt,” Jill nodded.
“But other than that he looks really cute, right” Riley frowned.
Jill laughed. “Well, personally, I’m more of a Rian girl, but yeah… He looks really cute, too.”
“Crap,” Riley groaned, standing up and walking towards the mirror that hung on the wall and frantically trying to fluff up her hair.
“You look great,” Jill encouraged.
“Are you sure?” Riley asked, feeling incredibly lame.
“Totally sure,” Jill nodded. “He’ll be begging for your forgiveness as soon as he’s sees you.”
“I’m not so sure he’s the one that needs to be begging for forgiveness,” Riley mumbled to herself even though she knew Jill would hear.
“I guess I shouldn’t be so quick to assume it was the guy that screwed up. Girls are just as capable to screw up as men,” Jill corrected herself.
“I did screw up. I screwed up pretty big actually.”
Jill just nodded and chose not to push the conversation any further again as to not cross any lines.
“I never told him about Summer,” Riley confessed. She was nervous that Alex was there and suddenly had word vomit. She was just glad it was coming out in front of Jill and not Alex.
“Wow,” Jill tried to hide how surprised she was by that.
“He’s probably still mad at me,” Riley said with a shrug. “So I should go out there and just get this over with.”
"Yeah, of course,” Jill nodded. “But can I ask you one more question real quick?”
Riley leaned her head to the side slightly. “Go ahead.”
“Have you met Rian yet?”
Riley laughed, probably the first real laugh she let out in a week. “Yes, I have.”
Jill smiled, leaning in closer to Riley as they started to make their way to the front of the gallery. “Are his teeth as white in person?”
Riley laughed again. “They’re probably whiter.”
“Good to know,” Jill laughed. “Good luck,” she whispered as she made her way back towards the front desk.
“Hey,” Alex said, trying to fight the smile on his face from growing too wide when Riley started walking towards him.
“Hey,” she said back, stopping in front of him and not knowing how to greet him.
Alex leaned down and kissed her quickly on the cheek. “How are you?”
“I’m fine,” she answered shortly. She knew they were in this position because of her bad decisions, but it didn’t make it any less frustrating for her that Alex all but disappeared on her for a week.
“Do you have a minute? Can we go for a walk?” he asked, awkwardly rocking back and forth in front of her and shoving his hands in the front pocket of his jeans.
“Yeah,” Riley shrugged. “Jill, I’m going to step out for a few minutes. I have my phone in case you need me, okay?”
“Not a problem.” Jill smiled from behind the front desk. “I got this.”
Alex placed his hand on the small of Riley’s back as he led her towards the exit and outside. They continued to walk up the block in complete silence. Riley easily could have just asked him what was going on but she was being stubborn and didn’t want to be the first to speak.
Alex also didn’t like the silence they were walking in and knew he needed to be the first one to speak but for whatever reason he was nervous and afraid of saying the wrong thing. Plus, he knew he screwed up when he went a week not talking to Riley.
“Okay. I can’t do this anymore,” Riley was the first to break. “We’ve walked three blocks, Alex. If you’re going to break up with me, just do it. I can’t walk any further from the gallery with you because it’s going to be really embarrassing to have to walk all the way back behind you while I’m crying.”
“Riley, I’m not going to break up with you,” Alex assured her, reaching for her hand.
“You’re not?” Riley asked, looking up at him very confused.
“I’m not,” Alex nodded. “Admittedly, going MIA for a week was not the best way to deal with all this but I really just needed the time for myself to process it all and figure out what I wanted.”
“And? What did you figure out you wanted?”
Alex reached for her other hand and gave them both a squeeze. “You, Riley. I want you.”
Riley gnawed on the inside of the bottom of her lip to pretend her smile from growing too wide.
“I’m sorry I took so long. I know you told me about all the bad experiences you’ve had with guys disappearing on you and I swear that was never going to be my intention. Like I said, I just needed time.”
“You don’t have to apologize,” Riley said quietly. “It was my lies that got us into this mess anyway.”
“That’s true,” Alex shrugged causing Riley to laugh slightly. “But I’m still sorry. A week was a long time.”
Riley nodded. “That’s also true.”
“It was a good thing though. I’ll be honest; when you left my house that night I was pretty sure I was going to end this. I was so hurt and angry that you would keep such a huge secret from me. Even after trying to put myself in your shoes, I still couldn’t wrap my head around it. I just thought we were so much closer than that.”
Riley took in a shaky, deep breath as she shifted uncomfortably in front of Alex. Even though he had already told her he wasn’t going to break up with her, it didn’t make her feel any better to know that he had considered for a bit. “I’m sorry,” was all she could mumble.
“Eventually I was able to put myself in your shoes and while I still don’t like it, I get why you did what you did. I just wish you didn’t let it go as long as you did.”
“I’m sorry,” she said again.
“Hey,” Alex smiled, reaching over to touch her cheek lightly. “I realized, at the end of the day, I wanted to be with you. What we have, for the short time that we’ve had it so far, is so special and so different than anything I’ve had with anyone else… I wasn’t ready to let it go just yet.”
Riley looked up at Alex with tears welling up in her eyes. “You're sure?”
“Absolutely,” Alex said, smiling.
“Oh, thank God!” Riley exclaimed, throwing her arms around Alex’s neck and pulling him in for the tightest hug she could manage.
Alex laughed as he circled his arms around Riley’s waist, squeezing her back just as tight.
“I’m so sorry, Alex,” Riley said, leaning back just enough so she could look him in the eye. “I just hope that you understand that me not telling you sooner was less about you and more about me and my own issues and I hope you didn’t take it too personally.”
“I did,” Alex laughed, “But I don’t so much anymore.”
“Well, you don’t have to at all. It’s all on me. I’m a hot mess,” she said, loosening her arms from around his neck.
“Eh,” Alex shrugged. “I’m not sure about the mess part, but you might be on to something with the hot part.”
Riley laughed as she leaned up and lightly pressed her lips to his. “Thank you for being so understanding.”
Alex smiled, kissing her back. “Like I said, I was ready to let this go.”
Riley smiled before kissing him again. “Good, because I wasn’t ready to let you let this go.”
“And hey, I feel it is safe to assume that your daughter is important to you?”
“Yeah…” Riley shrugged. “She’s up there.”
“Well, we’re a team now, so whatever is important to you becomes important to me. So, while I may not know a damn thing about kids, aside from the fact that I still kind of am one, I can’t wait to meet…” Alex paused, realizing Riley hadn’t mentioned her daughter’s name.
“Summer…” Riley filled in.
“Summer,” Alex repeated. “I can’t wait to meet Summer.”
“You want to meet my daughter?”
“Of course,” Alex said, grabbing Riley’s hand and leading her back in the direction of the gallery.
“Wow,” Riley muttered to herself. She wasn’t sure why this was such a shock to her.
“If you’re not ready for it, I get that but I just wanted to make sure you knew that I was ready.”
Riley stopped walking and looked up at him again. “You really are amazing, you know that?”
“I know,” Alex said with a smirk as Riley snaked her arms around his neck again. “But it doesn’t hurt to hear it once in a while,” he finished, placing his hands on her hips.
Riley smiled, kissing him again. “If you’re totally sure you want to do this, I’ll have that ‘Mommy has a boyfriend’ talk with Summer tonight and we’ll go from there.”
“Great,” Alex said, biting down on his lip.
“Wait… Are you sure it’s great? You’re biting your lip. You only do that when you’re nervous,”
Riley pointed out, dropping her arms from his neck and placing her hands over his that still rested on her hips.
“No,” Alex shook his head quickly. “It’s definitely okay. I’m just nervous now.”
Riley frowned. “You have no reason to be nervous.”
“What if she doesn’t like me?” Alex asked.
“That’s impossible. How could she not like you? Like you said, you’re still a kid yourself. You’ll get along just fine.”
Alex nodded. “Okay, fine… But what should I wear?”
If you could come back and update, that'd be great <3
1/23/19