Let's Take This Mess and Make a Home

*Jack Pov*

I thought about the party a lot for the next few days. It took me a day to finally get over the shock that Rian actually risked his ass to bring them over here, but after that I couldn't stop thinking about the party. I hadn't had a drop of alcohol since they came over, and frankly the pain in my chest was getting unbearable. If I go to the party, I get to see Alex again. But there's a good chance that he'll throw a fit and throw me out. If I don't go, first of all, Jax will be heartbroken. Izzy would probably be upset, too. Not to mention, I'll never be able to try to convince Alex to give me another chance. I know I fucked up. I do that a lot. I can get better. I just never had a reason to. I honestly thought Alex stopped giving a shit about me when he threw me out a few years back, but if his night terrors have become an every night thing, and they're worse when he thinks about me, then maybe I still have a chance. Ugh. I don't know
what to do.

I decided to call the one person that I knew could help me: May.

*Izzy Pov*

It was already Friday, and we still haven't heard anything from Jack. I've spent the last two days researching and trying to figure out what happened between them, but so far, I've come up with nothing. No one will tell me anything. They all keep saying I need to ask my dad if I want to know, but frankly, that never gets me anywhere. Maybe Lisa knows something. It would never hurt to ask. She was sitting in her office sorting out papers.

"Mom?"

"What, Izzy? I'm busy."

"Oh. I wanted to ask you something."

"Can it wait?"

"Not really."

"What?" I could tell she was irritated, but I was determined to get whatever information I could.

"What happened to Jack?"

She stopped and looked up at me. "It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does! No one ever answers our questions. Whenever we ask, it's always 'ask Dad' or 'we don't talk about that'. It's not fair. Why can't we know what happened?!" She didn't respond. "It's our fault isn't it? Jax and I did something, didn't we?"

She slammed the papers down on her desk. "Isobella, I don't ever want to hear you say that again. Do not blame you and your brother for him. If you want the truth, I'll give you the truth. He's nothing but a worthless drunk. That's all he's ever been, and that's all he'll ever be. He has no respect for anyone, and he has no concept of boundaries. It just took your father way too long to finally realize that and get rid of him. I told him before you were born that I didn't want you guys dragged into all of the drama with him, but he didn't listen and you guys had to pay for his mistake. It isn't fair to either of you. Now, please, forget about him, and stop asking questions about him. He doesn't matter."

I don't know why, but that hurt. I wanted to defend him. He isn't worthless. No one is worthless. I knew better than to argue. I just nodded and left.

I remember hearing Jack tell Rian that he was hungover on the day that we saw him, so maybe the drinking part of it was true. I don't remember him drinking around us that much though. I mean, not any more than my parents do. I think the only few times I ever saw him drunk was at a few parties that my dad had, but my Dad wasn't exactly sober either.

I was on my way back to my room when my Dad called me from the kitchen. "Hey, Iz, do you mind helping me make some stuff for tomorrow?"

"Depends. What did you need help with?"

"Well, we still have that brownie mix in the cupboard that needs to be used, and I'm making chip dip at the moment. But you make the best brownies. Could you please do that for me?" He gave me the puppy dog face.

"Haha, no need to butter me up, Dad. I love making brownies."

"Thank you!"

I started getting all of the stuff that I needed to make the brownies. "Hey, Dad?"

"Hm?"

"Who all is coming tomorrow?"

"Oh lord. Uh, my parents, Lisa's step brother, Rian, Zack, Some of my old football buddies, Vic, Jaime, Tony, and Mike after their thing downtown, Flyzik, Grieco, Danny, Matt, Vinny after he gets off work, Evan, Jeff, uh, Elmakias might stop by while he's still in town, Tay, Jenna, and some other people that you either wouldn't know, or wouldn't remember."

Wow. That's a lot of people. "I thought a lot of them lived far away?"

"Yeah, but some of them are either in town, or in New York, so I asked if they wanted to come. I haven't seen a lot of them in a bit, so the drive from New York isn't too bad. Hell, you can take the train straight downtown, haha. Oh, and that reminds me, Aunt May might be stopping by. She said it probably won't happen, but if she can get off work early, she will come over."
I nodded and placed the brownies in the oven. Then there was a knock at the door. I looked at my dad, confusion evident on my face. We weren't supposed to have anyone over as far as I knew.

"I got it." He wiped his hands off and went to answer the door. "Zack! Hey man! I thought you were gonna text me when your flight landed?!"

"I was going to, but my phone died."

Then I heard Rian come running down the stairs. "Did I hear- Zack!" He jumped on him.

"Oh, you didn't tell me Rian was staying over, too!"

"Really? I thought I did. Oh, well, Rian is staying over, too." Zack playfully slapped his arm.

"I've been here since Tuesday. I'm leaving Sunday night."

"Cool. I take it we're both just going to share the loft?" Zack questioned walking into the kitchen towards the stairs.

"Yeah. Unless you want to sleep in my room. I'll gladly share with Rian," My dad laughed.

"Deal. I'll gladly pass on sharing with Sir Snores-a-lot, haha." Rian interjected.

"Hey, I can't help it, I have sleep apnea, you assholes!" Zack defended.

"We know." They replied in unison, still laughing.

Zack finally noticed me standing in the kitchen, giggling. "Hey! I haven't seen you in forever!"
He bear hugged me, his warmth instantly surrounding me. That's my favorite thing about Zack. He was comforting. Always so calm.

"I missed you. I was hoping you'd come."

As soon as I said that, Jax came running in. "Uncle Zack!" He practically jumped in his arms.

"Hey, munchkin!" He looked at Alex. "Oh, I was told to tell you that Nickleski is coming, too."
Jax came back to stand on my right.

"Awesome. The whole gang is gonna be back together!" Alex exclaimed.

"Well, not everyone," Jax mummbled looking at the floor.

"What?" Dad snapped, a bit more harsh than intended.

"N-nothing," he stammered, walking away to his room.

Alex shrugged and lead Zack upstairs. Rian walked over to me. "He just texted me about 5 minutes ago. He said yeah." He smiled, his teeth bright as always. "You should tell your brother, haha." With that, he went to join the others upstairs.

I quickly ran to Jax's room to find him laying on his bed, with the blanket over his face. "Hey. Cheer up. I just talked to Uncle Ri." He uncovered his face. "He said yes." His face lit up.

"Really!?" I nodded.

****************************************************

The party is supposed to start at 4, but people had started arriving around 3. Thankfully, most of the setting up was done by that time. We were just finishing setting up some more tables outside. By 4 o'clock, almost everyone was there, and there were definitely more people than I was expecting. There was a good 30 people at least. I was seated comfortably on the deck swing with a bowl of candy on the table next to me. Dad had his phone playing music, so it was mostly Blink and Green Day that had been on so far. I wasn't complaining though. I was enjoying my story on my phone. By the time it was 4:30, Jack still hadn't shown up. I was beginning to think he was backing out. I literally scanned the crowd every 5 minutes or so. Rian must've noticed.

He sat down next to me. "Don't worry. He'll be here. He's probably still fighting with his straightener. Or he's procrastinating. I wouldn't blame him. He's probably nervous. I would be if I were him." I looked at him, confused. "Well, you figure, they haven't spoken a word to each other in 6 years. They definitely didn't leave off on good terms. He's taking a huge risk by doing this. He's been wanting to fix things with Alex for years, but he never got the nerve up to face him. I think the only reason he's making himself do it this time is because he knows how much it means to you guys. So, don't worry. He'll be here. Just give him some time." He reassuringly rubbed my back, and I nodded.

I really hope this works. I'm sick of seeing my Dad like this. He's always so miserable. I miss having Jack around all of the time. I miss how much better things were back then.
I went back to reading my story. I just need to be patient. About 10 minutes later, I felt someone sit down next to me on the swing. I was expecting it to be Jax, considering he follows me everywhere, but it wasn't. It was Jack. I instantly leaned over and hugged him.

"I honestly was starting to think that you were backing out," I mumbled against his chest.

"Nah. I'm always late to stuff like this. I prefer to sneak in rather than be one of the first people here."

"How long ago did you get here?"

"About a minute ago. I snuck in the fence and came over here."

"Oh. I figured you would've seen Rian first."

"I was going to, but he's busy." I looked over to Rian. He wasn't busy, but I knew what he meant. He was talking to my Dad.

"I take it Jax hasn't found you yet?"

He looked down at his side. "Nope. He's not there," he laughed.

"Would you like anything? My Dad made his famous dip." His eyes went wide.

"Dude. If you could sneak me a little plate of dip with some tortilla chips, I will seriously love you forever. Pretty please?"

"Haha, sure. I'll be back." The food table was over by where Alex was, so I understood why he didn't want to get it himself.

*Jack Pov*

I was purposely late getting to Alex's house. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't completely terrified about coming here. So many things can go wrong. I know he's going to be furious when he finally notices me. The last time I ever saw him, he told me he hated my guts and never wanted to see me again. I don't want to go through that again. If it wouldn't have been for May, I would've died that night. She found me on the floor in my apartment before it was too late. That was by far my lowest point, and I'm afraid of what will happen if he breaks me like that again. I want things to be better. I hate this. He's my best friend. He means the world to me.
I was laying down on the swing while Izzy was sneaking me dip. I wasn't there very long before a familiar face appeared kneeling next to me.

"Hey, Jax. I knew you'd pop up eventually." I sat up and he curled up into my side.

"I was afraid you weren't going to come."

"Aw, no. I wouldn't do that. I said I'd come see you. I always keep my word."

"Hey, do you want to go play video games?!"

"Bud, it's so nice out. Why do you want to go inside?"

"Cuz I like video games," he explained innocently.

"Maybe another time. It's nice out. I want to sit out here. Not to mention, your sister is stealing some chip dip for me, haha." A moment later, Izzy appeared holding a plate. "Speak of the devil, here she is." She cocked her eyebrow at me. "Long story. Don't ask."

"Jack, can I talk to you for a sec?" I looked up to see Rian staring down at me.

"Yeah, what's up?"

"Come here." I followed him over to the side of the house. "Stay here. I'll be right back." What on earth is he doing? A few moments later, he came back with Zack, but he didn't see me.

"What's up, Rian?" Zack questioned.


"You still love me, right?"

"That depends. What did you do?"

"I need your help with something."

"Hm?"

"Well, I need help taking the blame for something." Zack raised his eyebrow at him. "Well, you see, Jack is here." His jaw dropped.

"What do you mean Jack is here?! Is he insane?! Alex will flip his shit!"

"Shh! I know. He was invited. Jax and Izzy begged me to take them over to see him for a bit.
After a half hour of constant nagging, I finally gave in. They invited him. I thought it would be a good idea to try to get them to fix things, but Alex can't know it was their idea. So, I'm taking the blame for inviting him, but it would be more convincing if you backed me up." He nodded slowly.

"Alright. I'm in. Where is he, anyway?"

"Over here," I smiled.

"Dude! You really are here!" He ran over to me and picked me up.

"I missed you, Zack."

"Missed you, too." He set me down. "So do you plan on hiding from Alex the entire time you're here?" I remained silent. "Really? That was your plan? He's going to see you eventually. What are you going to do when he does?"

"Well, I didn't think that far ahead..."

"Jack, I love you, but you're an idiot. You know damn well that Alex is going to make a scene. That's just how he is, especially with as stressed out as he is right now. You need to know what you're going to say to him."

"Honestly, I was just hoping he wouldn't notice me. If he does, I guess I'll just wing it." They both shook their heads disapprovingly.

"I'm sure that will go well." Zack rolled his eyes.

"No matter what happens, we're both still going to be here. We'll defend you. We're sick of the fighting, too." Rian piped in.

"Thanks guys. Now can I go back to hiding and eating my dip?" They nodded and I walked back over to the swing. Jax was gone, but Izzy was still seated there.

"Izzy, are you eating my dip?" I scolded jokingly.

She finished chewing the chip in her mouth. "No..." We both laughed.

"Can I have it back now that you've eaten half of it?"

"Hey! I only had 3!" She defended rather loudly.

"Shhhh! Keep it down, haha. I was kidding." She stuck her tongue out at me.

I managed to avoid Alex for a while. I talked to a lot of our old friends, most of which were very surprised to see me. Thankfully, none of them ratted me out to Alex. I also managed to avoid Lisa. Lord knows that would not go over well if she saw me. I was actually having fun though. I missed everyone. I even got to play a few rounds of cards with some of them. Of course after a few hours and a few rounds of pop later, I had to go to the bathroom. I knew this house like the back of my hand, so I knew where all of them were. I carefully checked to make sure Alex and Lisa were both outside before going in the house. I went to the first bathroom on the main floor, but someone was in there. I knew there was a bathroom upstairs by the kids' rooms, but when I went up there, it was also being occupied. The only other bathroom was in Alex's room. I hesitantly walked back downstairs and waited in the kitchen for one of them to open up, but I really had to go to the bathroom. I honestly couldn't wait any longer. I looked back out the window to double check that they were still outside, and opened the door to Alex's room. Nothing was different, except his clothes were in the hamper instead of in a pile next to his dresser. She must have made him pick it up. I quickly shut the door behind me and went into the bathroom. I was in there all of two minutes before I heard the bedroom door open. Fuck.

This room is off limits, so it could only have been one of two people. Thankfully I was just finishing washing my hands, so I didn't have to worry about trying to flush the toilet. I dried my hands and cracked the door. It was Alex. He was leaning on his dresser, looking at himself in the mirror. I could tell he was breathing heavily. He was trying to calm himself down. This was the first time I'd gotten a good look at him, and it definitely wasn't too good. He looked like total shit, and I've seen him hungover on day 3 of running on 4 hours of sleep. This was a lot worse.
I could hear him quietly talking to himself. "Come on, Alex. Get it together. You know all of these people. There is absolutely no fucking reason to be freaking out right now. Calm down, you pathetic asshole." He hung his head. I wanted to run over to him and pull him close. I wanted to hold him and make everything go away. Rub his back and comfort him like I used to. But I knew I couldn't. I also knew I couldn't stay in the bathroom forever. So I texted Rian.

To Rian:
Yo, I need help. I'm stuck in the bathroom in Alex's room. He just walked in and is freaking out. Come talk to him. Please distract him long enough for me to get out.

From Rian:
Really? You know that's off limits. Why the hell would you go in there? Are you trying to get caught?"

To Rian:
Yes. I thought it would be a good idea. No, you fucker. I had to pee really bad, and I didn't feel like pissing my pants. Please just come help me.

From Rian:
Fine. Give me a minute.

Unfortunately, when I heard the door open again, it wasn't Rian.
"What the hell are you doing? People are looking for you. You're making me look bad." I heard Lisa's annoying voice scold.

"Just leave me alone, Lisa. I'll be out in a minute."

"Well it makes me look pretty shitty if you're in here freaking out and I'm out there. So get your act together. I'm sick of you always ruining these things."

"Just shut the fuck up! I don't need this right now! I said I'll be out in a minute! Go back outside."
I heard her snort in disgust before storming out of the room.

"Wow. That was harsh." I heard Rian remark from the door way.

"Welcome to my life."

"You okay, Alex?"

"Yeah. I'll live. Just needed a second alone."

"Is your anxiety always this bad?"

"I'm fine, Rian."

"Hey, I'm just worried about you. That's all." I looked out of the crack to see Alex hanging his head again. Rian saw me this time. He gave me the 'you better be ready to book it' look. "Come here, bro." He pulled Alex in for a hug, and he closed his eyes and rested his chin on Rian's shoulder. This was my chance. I quickly snuck by them out of the room. I was finally in the clear. "Alright, I'll leave you alone for a few." I heard Rian say before heading out after me. Thankfully, I didn't see Lisa on my way out. I ran back over to the swing where Izzy was now sitting with Zack.

"Whoa. Since when do you run?" Zack laughed.

"Not funny. Rian- had to come save me- from the bathroom." I explined, between huffs of air. They gave me confused looks. "I had to use the bathroom in Alex's room. He came in. Rian had to help me sneak out. Thankfully I didn't see Lisa on the way out. That was a close one."

"Yeah, you didn't see her, but she saw you." Rian hesitantly warned from behind me.

"Wait, what?"

"I almost ran into her. She was going back to yell at Alex again. She saw you walk out the door.
She's furious."

"Fuck."

*Alex Pov*

I don't know why I'm freaking out so bad. There's just so many people. I like people, I just don't like feeling like I'm suffocating. I'm really glad Rian came in here though. I really needed the hug. It didn't help as much as I would've liked it to, but It'll do. Only one person can make all of it go away. Too bad I fucked that up. Thinking of him just made it feel like someone had turned the knife that was already in my chest. I shook the thought out of my head right as Lisa came bursting into the room. She looked pissed. I really don't need this right now.

"What the hell is that fucking faggot doing here!"

"What? Who?"

"The worthless drunk!" I raised my eyebrows, irritatedly urging her to explain further. "Fucking Jack!" I lied. The thought of him felt like someone stabbed me. Actually hearing that he was here felt like someone had literally cut a hole in my chest and then poured salt in the wound.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Read my lips, Alex. I'll say it slowly so maybe you can understand this time. Jack. Barakat. Is. Here."

"No, no, no, no, no. That's- that's not possible." I guess that would explain why I smelled him. I thought my head was playing tricks on me again.

"Well, he's here. Fix it. I want him gone. Now." She growled and stormed out. I really, really don't need this right now.

I'm not gonna lie, the thought of him being here also made me really happy. I wanted him. I'm shaking and feel like I'm suffocating. He's the only person I ever want when I'm like this. But I can't have him. I can't snuggle into his chest and feel his arms around me. He's my strength that keeps the walls from tumbling down on me, but I'm on my own now. I know the consequences of having him back. I can't do it. But I can't keep doing this anymore either. If I can't love him, there is only one thing I can do to keep myself from breaking: teach myself to hate him. That's what hurts me most of all. I know how badly I'm hurting him by doing this, and frankly, I hate myself for it. I could never hate him, but for now, I guess I have to keep pretending. I took a deep breath and slowly walked out of my room and towards the backyard.

I looked out of the door and saw Rian staring at me. He was standing by Izzy, Zack, and someone in a Beanie and a leather Jacket. I knew that jacket. I've worn it a million times. It was Jack's. I could feel my breathing accelerate. He is here. How did I manage to miss that. No. I can't break. I took another deep breath before walking outside.

I stopped right behind Jack with my arms crossed. His familiar scent overwhelmed me. I could feel my heartbeat pounding in my ears. Everyone stopped talking and stared at me.

"He's right behind me, isn't he?" Jack sighed, already knowing the answer. My heart practically stopped when I heard his voice. It's been so long since I've heard it. He turned to face me. He was trying to keep a blank face, but I could easily see the heartbreak in his eyes. I hated myself so much knowing how badly I was hurting him, but I had to keep pretending to hate him.

"What the hell are you doing here, Jack?" I narrowed my eyes at him.

"I was invited," he remarked as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. I could tell he was trying to mask his pain with anger, too.

"You were definitely not invited here."

"No, I definitely was."

"Well you need to leave."

He raised his hands in surrender. Suddenly a small figure darted and around me and grabbed on to Jack.

"Jack, you're not really gonna leave are you?" Jax questioned, tears forming in his eyes. Dammit. I was afraid this was going to happen.

Jack quickly hugged him and leaned down to his level. "I can't promise anything, Bud. It's not my decision." He looked over to Izzy. "Hey, take your brother inside please. You guys don't need to see or hear whatever is about to happen out here." She nodded and pulled Jax's arm.

"No!" He hugged Jack tighter. "The last time you left, we didn't see you for a long time!" He shot me a quick glare. Ouch.

"Come on, Jax. Let's go inside." Izzy soothed, pulling him with her.

He sniffled and looked back up at me. He opened his mouth to speak, but he just walked away with his head down.

"Now, I'm being serious, Jack. Why the hell are you here?"

"I told you. I was invited."

"Who the hell invited you?"

Rian jumped to his rescue. "Zack and I did. We're sick of the fighting. You guys need to work this out. You've been best friends forever. You can't just let one stupid fight tear apart 4 people. You guys aren't the only ones getting hurt here. You're putting a lot of stress on me and Zack, and both of you are hurting Jax and Izzy. There isn't one person in particular at fault."
I glared at them. "How could you guys betray me like this? You know damn well that he isn't welcome here anymore."

"Alex, do you hear yourself? This is Jack you're talking about. Are you really going to keep pushing this? Please give up the act, Alex," Zack pleaded.

"Guys, give it up. I'm leaving." Jack started towards the fence.
Then I saw the look on Jax's face through the window. Complete and total heartbreak. In the corner of my eye I saw Lisa move to stand at my side with her arms crossed. A cruel smirk painted on her face. It infuriated me that she got so much joy out of seeing Jack in pain. My k kids were also suffering. I felt like a monster.

The pain in my chest got worse the further away he got. I couldn't do this.

"Jack," I called, all power leaving my voice. He stopped, but he didn't turn around. I could see Lisa giving me the 'what do you think you're doing' look, but I didn't care. "Jay- I- you- you can stay."

"No. He can't. He's not welcome in my house!" Lisa yelled. My temper snapped.

"Excuse me? When the fuck did it become your house?! I paid for it. I pay the bills. My name is on the deed. It's my house. If I say he can stay, he can stay. If you have a problem with it it, you can leave!" It went completely silent. I was already stressed out and pissed off. I did not need to deal with this. "They can hate you all they want, but I'm not gonna have my kids hate me, too."
She stormed off.

Jack finally turned to face me. "Alex, it's fine. I shouldn't have come. I knew this wasn't going to end well. I'm sorry." He began walking towards the gate again.

"Jack." He stopped again and looked over his shoulder. "Please? He'll never forgive me if you leave." He glanced at Jax through the window.

"He'll understand eventually. I'm not gonna do that to you, Alex. You don't need this." After all I've put him through, he is still more concerned about me. That almost made me crack.

I put my guard back up. "Just stay the fuck away from me, and we won't have any problems." And with that, I walked back over to the table by the pool and sat down with Tay and Jenna. I wasn't really paying attention to them though. I was more focused on watching Jack. I'll never understand that weird bond between him and Jax. They're so much alike. Maybe it's because Jack is so immature. Kids just naturally like him. Then again, Jax has liked him since he was a baby. There was one point where I was convinced that he liked Jack more than me.

'Crying. Constant, deafening crying. It's 3am and I've literally done everything possible, but he just won't stop.

"Jaxon. What on Earth do you want? I've changed you, fed you, burped you, held you, rocked you, and sang to you. Why won't you stop!?" I questioned desperately, knowing I wouldn't get an answer. I need sleep. I've been trying to calm him down for a half hour now. Lord knows Lisa wouldn't get out of bed and help if her life depended on it. I can't do this on my own. I went and got my phone from the bedroom. I walked back to Jax's room while it was ringing. . It went to voicemail, so I dialed again.

"Lex?" His sleepy voice slurred.

"Yeah-" I sniffed.

He cut me off. "Why the hell are you calling me in the middle of the night? What time is it? I don't have my glasses on. What is that? 3am? Is everything okay? Why are you crying? What is all of that screaming?"

"If you'd let me finish, I'd explain." I sniffed again. I didn't even realize that I had started crying. "Jax woke up about a half hour ago. I've done everything, but he just won't stop. He won't stop crying, and he won't go to bed. I can't do this on my own, Jacky. I need help." I fell against the wall and slid to the floor. At this point, I was practically sobbing.

"Hey, you're okay. Give me 10 minutes." The line went dead.

It felt like I was waiting forever, but I finally heard a quiet knock at the door. I gratefully ran to open it. Jack was in basketball shorts and a white t-shirt. His hair was messy under his beanie, and his glasses framed his tired eyes. I didn't even let him in before I threw my arms around his neck. I was still sobbing. He was so tired that he almost fell backwards, but he wrapped his arms around me and gently rubbed my back. Jax managed to get even louder. Jack pulled away, the warmth instantly leaving with him. He pulled a small bottle out of his pocket. It was a single shot of Jack Daniels.

"Jack, alcohol is not going to get him to shut up. You do not give children alcohol."

"Oh Hun, this is for you."

I laughed and took the shot. I'm not gonna lie, I was pretty thankful that he brought it. I chugged it down while Jack walked towards the baby's room. I set the small bottle on the counter, and the crying stopped. I quickly ran to see how he managed to get him to stop. He was just looking over the side of the crib, talking quietly.

"What's the matter, Bud? Huh? You don't need to cry."

I looked down at Jax. "Really? He just looks at you and you stop? Really?!"

Jack laughed quietly at me and moved out of Jax's sight. He began crying again.

"No, no, no, no, no." I pushed him back over by the crib. The crying stopped. "Okay. What the hell. My kid likes you better."

"Nah. He's just being cranky." He picked him up and sat on the floor by the door. After a few moments, he finally fell asleep. He was halfway laying on Jack's arm. His bottom was resting securely on his thigh. "There. Problem solved."

"Thank God." I laid down on the floor and put my head on Jack's other leg and fell asleep.'

I smiled at the memory. My chest ached to think about it, but it was still one of my favorite memories. Jack truly is one of the sweetest people I have ever known. I could feel my eyes starting to water. I honestly hated myself so much for hurting him. I can't even express how bad I feel. I was pulled out of my thought by a familiar voice.

"Dad? Mom told me to ask you to get more plastic cups out of the pantry. She said they're on the top shelf." Izzy informed.

"Okay. I'll get it in a sec." She walked off.

*Jack Pov*

I honestly felt bad about staying. If I left, I would've hurt Jax, but staying is hurting Alex. Someone loses either way. I just wish I knew what I did to make him hate me. One day we were hanging out and he just snapped. No explanation, no nothing. He just threw me away like an insignificant piece of trash. That's probably what hurt the most. The one person that I never thought would leave me, was the first to betray me. He said it was my drinking, but I never drank much around the kids. If I did, he was usually drinking, too. I think it was just a cover up.
I could feel the craving for alcohol increasing with every thought. I wasn't a drunk back then, but I definitely am now. It's the only way to get some peace. When you're drunk, you feel invincible. There is no pain. You're just numb for a while. If you drink enough, the hangover the next day will keep you preoccupied, so you can't think about the heartache.

I felt someone shake my shoulder, and I jumped. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I was trying to get your attention, but you weren't responding. You zoned out."

"It's okay, Izzy. What's up?"

"My dad is trying to get cups out of the pantry, but they're on the top shelf. He can't reach it. He needs help, and you're the only one tall enough."

"Ugh. Okay."

I got up and walked into the house. I knew exactly where the walk in pantry was. It looked like a closet. Honestly, it probably was a closet at some point, but someone decided it would make a better walk in pantry. The door was open and the light was on. I could see Alex reaching for a box on the top shelf. I walked in, but I stayed relatively close to the door. I watched him struggle for a few seconds before helping. He didn't even see me walk up next to him.

"Need some help?" I asked sarcastically, knowing he'd never be able to reach the box.

"No. I told you to stay the fuck away from me." He snapped. Ouch.

I sighed harshly. This is ridiculous.

Suddenly the door slammed shut. Alex jumped, but didn't look towards the door. "Really, Jack? Now we're slamming doors? Ooh! You shut me in the pantry. Very mature," he scoffed, aggravation clear in his tone.

"Alex." He turned to face me, shocked that I was standing so close. "I haven't moved."

"Yeah, right. I'm not an idiot. Just go away, Jack."

"Fine." I went to open the door. It didn't open.

"Open the damn door and get out," he spit through gritted teeth.

"It won't open."

He tried the door. "What the fuck? This door doesn't lock. How the hell did your stupid joke manage to get us stuck in here!?"

"Alex, I didn't shut the fucking door! I was standing right next to you the entire time!"

"Well, if it wasn't me, and it wasn't you, then who was it? Santa?!"

"Just shut the fuck up, Alex. Yelling and throwing a fit isn't helping anything. Just call someone to come get us."

"I don't have my phone. It's on the table by the pool. Where's yours?"

"On the table by the swing."

"Well isn't that just fucking amazing!"

He slumped to the floor and crossed his arms.
I sat down across from him.

"This is all your fault," he mumbled through his pout.

"How the hell is it my fault?"

"You showed up here."

"Alex, I told you I was invited. I already said I would leave. I thought maybe you'd get over whatever your problem was when you threw me out."

"I did get rid of my problem. Then it decided to come back." He narrowed his eyes at me. Ouch.

"How am I the problem? You never told me what was going on. You literally just wigged out on me one day and threw me out. Something about me being a drunk and you not wanting the kids around me, but I never really drank around them. Maybe a few here or there, but the only time I ever got drunk around them was at a couple parties you had, and from what I remember, you weren't exactly sober either. I can't fix anything if you don't tell me anything."

"Well, maybe if you weren't such a pathetic drunk, you'd be able to figure it out!"

"It's your fucking fault that I drink so much!"

"How the hell is it my fault!?"

"You made your choice, Alex. I made mine. You swore that you'd never let her come between us. You promised that you would never pick her over me!" I could feel my face heating up. I was furious. "You always said that you loved me, but you never gave a shit about me! You knew I had a fucking problem! You aren't gonna be happy until I end up just like Tom!" I regretted the words the second they left my mouth. I threw my hand over my mouth. I didn't mean that. I was just trying to hurt him like he hurt me. I could see the tears finally fall down his face. "Alex, I- I- I didn't mean that. I didn't-"

"Don't even bother, Jack. I don't want to hear it." He cracked. He was sobbing with his head in his hands. I instinctively scooted over to sit next to him.

"I'm so sorry, Alex. I didn't mean to say that. It just kinda came out." He didn't respond. I put my arm behind him, but I was careful not to touch him. "Come here."

"Don't fucking touch me!" He screamed.
He was starting to shake and his breathing was ragged.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. Come here." I placed my hand on his shoulder.

"I said don't touch me!" He choked, his fight leaving him. I started to pull him into my chest. "D-don't t-touch me-e!" He sobbed harder, pushing his hand lightly against my chest, but he gave in and collapsed into me.

I instantly wrapped both of my arms around him protectively. "Shh, calm down. You're okay." I felt him ball up part of my shirt in his fist and snuggle closer. He tucked his head under my chin, and I felt his breathing slow down a little. I rubbed his back until he had almost stopped crying. Then I just held him tighter. "It's okay. I got you." He suddenly started sobbing again. "Hey, what's the matter?"

He pulled away a little and looked at me. "Wh- why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"Being nice to m-me. I've just been awful to you. I h-hurt you, Jack. I don't deserve this!" He cried frantically, instinctively pulling at his hair. He had a tendency to do that when he no longer had control over his emotions.

I gently removed them and held them in mine so he couldn't return to pulling his hair. "I know, but you needed me. I'll always be here when you need me, Lex. I don't care if we're fighting. I don't care how much you hate me. I will never leave you." It was true. He literally almost killed me with his words, and yet, I couldn't bring myself to watch him suffer.

He threw himself back into my arms, his tightly latching around my torso. He buried his face in my chest, the tears flowing even harder. "I- I d-didn't want to! I did-didn't mean it! I'm s-s-s-so sorry, Jack!"

I carefully pushed him off of me, but kept my hands on his shoulders. "Lex, calm down. Take a few breaths. What's going on?"

"I can't tell you."

"Why not?"

"Jay, I wish I could tell you. I wish I could explain and make everything better, but I can't. Not now. You have to trust me. I would tell you if I didn't have so much to risk. I'm risking everything just telling you this now. I don't hate you. I never did. I could never hate you. You're my best friend in the entire world. You literally mean everything to me. I'm nothing without you, Jacky. I would give up almost anything for you. I had to hurt you, and trust me, I hate myself so fucking much for it. I can barely look at myself in the mirror without wanting to punch the reflection. I only used to need my anxiety meds when it was really bad, but now I need them everyday so I can pretend to function normally. I'm just empty. For so long I've wanted to see you and make everything okay, but I just can't. The risk is too much. I'm not mad that you're here. I can't even tell you how happy I am right now. I've been freaking out all day. No one has the power to help me like you do. I miss you so fucking much, Jack. I'm so sorry." I hugged him tightly. This entire time I thought he was just better off without me. Turns out, he needs me now more than ever.

"Alex-" He looked up, but kept his grip on me. "Alex, I can't do this anymore. I know you don't want to keep doing this. We're destroying ourselves. It's not fair to either of us. I trust you, so I trust that you'll tell me when you can. I don't want to do this anymore. I want us back."

"So do I, but we can't, Jay."

"It's her isn't it? You don't have to tell me what she did or is doing, but at least tell me if this is because of her." He nodded weakly. "I'm not afraid of her, Lex. We can make this work. I know sneaking around isn't the greatest thing in the world, especially with Izzy and Jax, but it's the only way."

"Jack, if she caught on, you have no idea what would happen. It's bad. I don't know if I can risk that."

"That's why she isn't going to find out. Honestly, Alex, look at us. We're locked in a pantry crying and miserable. 20 minutes ago, I thought you wanted me dead. We can't give up on us, Lex. There's gotta be something we can do."

"Well, I mean, maybe I can sneak out and come see you. I'll just say I'm going to the studio or to play football with the guys or something. I just don't want the kids getting dragged into this. I could never ask them to lie for me."

"I know. I don't want you to. Or, I know it'd be a risk, but maybe I could come over when she's out of town for work. Then I can see the kids, too. Jax would be thrilled, and even if Izzy won't admit it, she'd be pretty happy, too. They wouldn't have to cover for you leaving if I'm there. They just wouldn't be allowed to talk about me."

"I don't know, Jack. I'm honestly terrified. I want to, but things can end so badly."

"Alex, I know how bad this is hurting you. I know about the night terrors. You can't keep doing this to yourself. I'm not gonna make you do anything you don't want to do. Just remember, I'm always just a call away, okay?"

He nodded. "Jack?"

"Hm?"

"How are we getting out of here?"

"I have no idea. I figured someone would notice we were missing. Shouldn't the bitch be storming in because you didn't get the cups or whatever?"

"You'd think. She's so mad that I let you stay that she sent Izzy to tell me."

"Wait a second. Izzy told you?" He nodded slowly. "She told me you needed help."

Suddenly it clicked why no one had come in yet. "Oh my god," Alex whispered in shock.

"We got outsmarted by a 13 year old girl." I concluded.

"She is so grounded when we get out of here." I started laughing uncontrollably. "What?"

"N-nothing."

"Tell me!"

"Well, this isn't the first time we've been trapped in the closet."

It took a second, but finally he giggled and slapped my arm.

After a good 15-20 minutes, we finally heard footsteps. "Alex?" Zack called.

"Zack!" We yelled in unison. We stood up and began hitting the door.

"Help! We're locked in the pantry!"

"I don't want to know."

"Please open the door, Zack," I pleaded.

"If I open this door and see a dick, I swear I'm killing you both."

"Ha. Ha. Very funny. Just open the damn door." Alex sighed.

We heard some things being moved around and the door opened. I practically threw myself into Zack.

"Thank you! I thought I was going to die in there!"

He rolled his eyes. "Wait. You guys didn't kill each other?" He leaned closer to us. "Have you been crying?"

"Long story short, we're not fighting anymore, but the bitch can't know," I explained.

He pulled us into a group hug. "Thank God."

****************************************

*Alex Pov*

At around 10pm, most of the people had left. Jack, Rian, and Zack were the last 3 people left.
We were all seated in the living room. Lisa went over to her brothers about 2 hours ago, so we finally had an opportunity to talk to the kids.

"Okay, we need to have a serious talk." Their eyes widened at my words. "Particularly you, Isobella."

"Uh oh." She knew I only called her by her whole name when I was either mad, or very serious about something.

"We know you did it."

"What did I do?"

"First of all, you lied. You know how I feel about lying. Second of all, we know it was you that locked us in the pantry."

The color drained from her face.

She opened her mouth to speak, but Jack cut her off. "Thank you."

"Wait, what? You're not mad?"

"I was. Then Jack talked me out of grounding you. I guess as wrong as it was, we kinda needed it. So, thank you."

"Are you guys friends again?" Jax questioned from his spot next to Jack on the couch.

We both smiled before Jack answered. "Yeah, bud. We're friends again."

Notes

FINALLY. IVE BEEN TRYING TO UPDATE FOR 3 DAYS, BUT THE WEBSITE KEPT CRASHING AND DELETING IT. Long Chapter, lots of POV changes.

Please comment, rate, and subscribe! All feedback is greatly appreciated.

Feel free to check out my other story on here "Take A Breath And Let The Rest Come Easy"

I hope you enjoy!

-Em