A week later, things between Alex and I hadn’t approved at all (it’s wasn’t like either of us actually reached out to the other to try and make things good). But that wasn’t the biggest thing that went on. You see, there was something weird going on between me and Jack. We tried our best to go back to the relationship we had before, trying to act the same way we had just after New Year’s, but it was all so unnatural. Jack was way too careful around me, while I didn’t care at all. He was afraid of saying the wrong thing, but there wasn’t really anything that I would have considered wrong.

Further, I also had horrible nights. I would always try to go to sleep, but it would take me much longer to fall asleep than normal. It was like something inside me was trying to keep me up 24/7. Then, when I was asleep, I’d often wake up with a horrible nightmare, leaving me shaking and in near tears. Jack never woke up due to it, and to keep it that way, I always sneaked out of bed and would go downstairs to try to get some sleep on the couch. It would work for a while, but then I’d wake up around five in the morning, and I knew I had to go back up to bed or else Jack would figure out what was going on. Other times, when I woke up later, I acted like I had gotten out of bed early to make breakfast for the both of us. I didn’t need him treating me like I was a fragile piece of glass any more than he already was.

I had locked myself away in the room we considered the office (it was just the room Jack kept his guitars and some other gear, along with a desk I had basically claimed) for most of the day. The entire time, I had been busy trying to organize a couple of things. So, basically, I had been sending lots of emails and making lots of calls. Right at that moment, I was trying to retrieve all my social media again. For what I was planning on doing in the future, it might have been a good idea to start that up again. Also, I tried to get access to Cam’s social media so we could post a message up on there soon.

However, before I got a reply to all of that, Jack knocked on the open door and walked in. I took off my headphones and put them around my neck so I could hear him clearly. He waited until I finished typing whatever I was working on until he told me what he came here for.

“So, I was wondering if you wanted to go on a late-night drive, that will actually be in the evening... and right now. You know, just so you take a break.” He came up behind me and started massaging my shoulders, and I was sure he was trying to see what exactly I was doing at that moment. “You’ve been working the entire day, you deserve it.”

“Ok,” I shrugged and agreed without putting up a fight. Going out and driving around aimlessly did sound good, especially since I knew going to bed after working so much wouldn’t do me any good. Being busy in my mind wasn’t going to help my sleeping problems. “Will we get dinner afterward?”

“Sure, I’m not sure what time we’ll be done… but we can make it work.”

“Time we’ll be done?” I asked with a raised eyebrow. “Can’t we just decide when to get food?”

“Well, I, umm, actually need to pick something up at a certain time… so…” Jack mumbled uncomfortably as if he hadn’t intended me to find this out. But, honestly, I couldn’t really give a fuck about why he was acting so suspicious.

“Sure, but I’m driving.” I closed my laptop and stood up without hesitating, moving the desk chair so it was under the table again.

His eyes went wide as if I had just caught him doing something I hadn’t seen, only this time it was because I said something. “Well, you don’t know where I need to go, so…”

“Give me the address and I’ll look it up on Google.”

“No!” He exclaimed too enthusiastically and tried to cover up his mistake, in a quieter and thoughtful tone. “No, no… I’ll just give you the directions, the address shows up wrong on google maps.”

“Dude, you’re acting weird,” I snorted and pushed past him, not bothering to delve any deeper. For all I knew, Jack was only being this way because he was too afraid to let me drive because I would think about Cam again, but that only made my will to drive stronger. I wasn’t some weak person.

So, after putting on some shoes, I got the key to the car my dad gave us, and didn’t give Jack the chance to try and convince me that he should drive. If he had wanted to be successful, he should have given the best excuse he could think of the first time. Otherwise, I would have realized that he was just trying to make up plausible reasons. It wasn’t going to work on me this time.

About an hour into the drive, Jack started giving me directions towards where he needed to go. The only thing that seemed fishy was that he was looking at his own phone to find those directions. So, he either had to have some weird written out directions and we coincidentally were on the right road for that, or he was looking at a map and had lied to me about not being able to find it.

Eventually, I pulled up on a highway and realized that there were no other cars on it. Usually, I’d be wondering why there was nobody else, but this time I used it to my advantage. I was driving a sports car at a very normal speed, yet there was an empty long straight road ahead of me. What else was I supposed to do? I slowly started accelerating more, pushing down on the gas pedal, but making sure the change wasn’t too sudden.

Jack didn’t even seem to realize until I accelerated even further and he glanced at the dashboard. He awkwardly chuckled. “Isle, what the fuck are you doing? You’re going way too much over the speed limit.” Rather than listening to his subtle request to get me to slow down, I went even faster. “No, Isle, really. You better stop before you do something you will regret.” But I still wouldn’t let his orders come through. “I’m not fucking around here!”

“Neither am I!” I squealed out in excitement and watched as the meter kept climbing up.

“I swear to fucking god, Ireland! If you don’t slow down this fucking second--”

But I enjoyed the thrill too much and didn’t see the danger in it. It all seemed cool to me. We had a nice car that could go fast, what was the point of never using that power? At least we could have some fun this way.

“Ok, no, That’s it! Pull the fuck over right this instant!” Jack ordered with a menacing growl.

“No, why?” I whined yet still started to slow down a little.

“Just do as I say.”

So, I did. After slowing the car down to a comfortable speed and pulling over onto a rest area, he got out of the car and insisted that he would drive the rest of the way. When he slammed the door shut behind himself, I contemplated whether or not just to drive off and leave him there. But we were literally in the middle of nowhere, I couldn’t do something like that even though I would do anything to just have some time to myself right at that moment.

Instead, I sighed and slowly pulled myself out as well. Trudging over to him, I pouted and said, “I’m sorry.”

He looked at me and took a deep breath while he was leaning against the side of the car. Only after wrapping my arms around his waist and putting my chin on his chest so that my innocent eyes were staring right at him, did he give in, “ok, I’ll be honest and say I’ve wanted to do that before, but I’m still driving.”

I grinned, happy that he didn’t get mad at me, and kissed him. However, I didn’t stop at where the boundary of ending an argument ended. Our lips still connected, I pressed him up further against the car and slipped my hands underneath his shirt and touched the skin just above his waistband. But instead of going along with my intentions, he pushed my hands away and broke off the kiss.

“This is so not happening,” he demanded with a shake of his head.

“Oh, come on, you can’t tell me you’ve never fantasized about having sex in a car… a really fancy car… with me…” I trailed my finger up his chest seductively in a way that would normally help turn him on.

“You’re right, I can’t. But there’s no way in hell that it’s happening now.” He pushed me away with a shoulder nudge and walked over to the other side of the car to get in.

Only when the engine turned on, did I huff in annoyance and get in the passenger seat against my will.

The worst part, however, was when we arrived at Jack’s destination. Turned out that he didn’t need to pick up anything at all. Actually, he had made an appointment for something. I found out pretty soon after he pulled up on a small parking lot that it was for visitors of the place. What were we visiting? Well, the sign clearly stated both the words ‘Psychiatrist’ and “Psychologist’. Jack didn’t have to say a word for me to figure out that this was for me and had nothing to do with him.

“Really?” I glared as he turned off the ignition and looked at everything but me.

“I’m just saying,” he continued to stare at the steering wheel, “it might be really good for you. Just give it a try and see how it goes.”

“Fuck. You.” I seethed but got out of the car nonetheless. “Don’t expect me wanting you anywhere near me!”

I still went into the building and was greeted at the reception. The entire place gave me the shivers. Folders of different mental illnesses were lying around and placed on shelves for anybody to freely take. Posters describing other processes and healthcare were on the walls, and a couple of chairs were pushed up against a white wall, a kid’s area squashed into a lonesome corner.

“It’s either on Ireland Knight of Jack Barakat, I don’t know,” I told the receptionist after she had asked me which name the appointment was under.

“I have Ireland Barakat? Is that you?” She smiled after looking through the schedule on the computer screen.

“Yeah, but that’s not my last name.”

“I know how you’re feeling. Just waiting for him to pop the question.”

“Please,” I scoffed and took the clipboard she was handing me, “I do not want to get married to him.”

Before she could ask me anything any further or make a comment, I added something to clarify it a little. “He just brought me here without giving me any warning. Always a nice surprise.”

“I’m pretty sure he’s just doing what he thinks is best for--”

“My twin brother died three weeks ago, and his funeral was two weeks ago. I think I’m allowed some time to mourn before I have to go see a psychologist.” I straight up told her and held up the clipboard before walking to the waiting room. “Thanks for this, I’ll fill it out and hand it back in a bit.”

The meeting was absolutely horrible. Somehow I had managed to walk out of it with a diagnosis and prescription already, even though it was only supposed to be the psychologist/psychiatrist getting to know me. I rarely said anything, but whenever I did, I felt like it wasn’t the truth at all. But somehow all that along with Jack’s phone call to make the appointment had led them to diagnosing me in no time.

When I left the hellhole, Jack was still parked in the same exact spot as where I had left him. I honestly didn’t want to get back in the car with him, but I didn’t have any other way to get home. So, I harshly opened the door as soon as I was close enough, causing Jack to jump and drop his phone onto the console with a loud crashing sound. I didn’t bother to apologize; he didn’t deserve it. I even took the paper I had gotten from the psychiatrist with my diagnosis and prescribed medication, and pushed it up against his chest while I slammed the door shut.

“Are you happy now?” I grumbled and reached into my pocket to get out my earphones and plugged them into my phone.

Unfortunately, I didn’t get to start my music before Jack had read the main important points of the letter. “Ireland--”

But just after that, I managed to find a random song to play and turned up the volume as loud as possible without making my ears hurt. I made sure to look out of the window and not pay attention to what Jack was saying. Although I couldn’t hear a word, I just knew he was saying that he was sorry but that it was all for the better, because at least now we knew that I was depressed. Well, let me tell you one thing:

I was not fucking depressed.

As soon as we got home, I climbed out of the car, my music still blasting whatever song was on shuffle. Luckily, I had brought my own house key with me, so I managed to go inside and made sure to throw the door closed behind me before Jack had the time to catch up and come inside as well. Sadly, I didn’t take the time to lock the door as well, so he could easily walk in, but at least he understood what I was trying to say.

Yet he still followed me up the stairs and down the hallway. I skipped our room and went right toward the guest room. If he thought I was even going to consider sleeping in the same room, let alone the same bed, after he had done something like that to me, he was out of his mind. I could either tell him to sleep somewhere else, only for him to not oblige, or I could take measures myself. I honestly didn’t mind falling asleep on the guest bed. It was much better than the couch anyway.

I turned off my music and tossed my phone on the bed. Jack was just two steps away when I shut the door in his face once again. He knew me well enough that all of this meant that he had to leave me alone. Hell, anybody doing this meant they wanted to be all by themselves. But, no. Jack didn’t really understand. At least he didn’t try to open the door.

“Ireland, what are you doing?” He sighed in frustration through the wood that separated us.

“Going to bed.” I shrugged and popped the button of my jeans so I could take them off and get more comfortable underneath the covers.

“Don’t you want anything to eat first?”

“Nope.”

I climbed into the bed and pulled the duvet up to my chin before lying on my right side, and so facing away from the door. It wasn’t all too difficult to tune out Jack’s questioning and begging. He could have easily just opened the door and forced me to listen to him, but I didn’t think he actually knew the door wasn’t locked since he didn’t even try the handle.

Much later that night, he finally did, however. He was very sneaky about it, trying to make as little noise as possible. I was still awake, but with my eyes closed, because I couldn’t fall asleep, but he didn’t know that. At first, I was afraid that he was going to try to lie behind me while I couldn’t tell him to leave, practically taking advantage. But, instead, there was only a small weight beside me before he himself sat on the side.

“Ok, Taco, listen up here,” he whispered to what I now knew was our cat, “Isle’s very mad at me right now and I’m sure it’s not going to get better soon even though we said we’d never go to bed while mad at each other. The problem is that I don’t feel what I did is wrong, but I guess my intentions weren’t perceived as good as I intended. So, it’s your job to stay here and make her feel a little better. When she wakes up, she’ll think you opened the door and decided to stay with her instead of me. It might be a small thing, but it’s important. All you have to do is stay here while I leave. If she finds out I came in, she’s going to hate me even more.”

His weight lifted off the bed as he started to leave, but Taco didn’t understand a word of what he said of course. She decided to follow him, jumping off the bed slyly, but not sly enough for him to not notice.

“No, Taco,” he whined, his voice still barely a murmur, and the smaller weight was put on the bed next to me again, “you have to stay here. You can’t follow me.”

When he tried to leave, it happened again. So, breathing out a little louder than normal, he put her up on the bed again and sat down himself as well. “Ok, fine. I’ll stay here until you fall asleep and then I’ll leave.”

Somehow, even I managed to fall asleep before Jack left. But that didn’t mean I didn’t wake up hours later with a racing heartbeat.

Notes

I keep writing 'realized' as 'realised' and my spellchecker when I edit says it's wrong because it's British English instead of American English. I'm trying to keep it consistent, but I combine the two due to having teachers my entire life that used both of them. Goddammit.

Sorry to all the people out there thinking everything was all good last chapter except for the whole Alex-thing... Just wait and see how this develops ;)

Just 9 more days until I see All Time Low live! So excited!

Btw I've noticed that this story isn't doing as well as Hospital Beds and Memories. I kinda did expect it, though. Hospital Beds took so long that a lot of readers were lost along the way, and a sequel never does as well as the original story. Oh well, I hope there's still a few out there that enjoy it. I'm guessing the few readers I have are silent (except for you guys that comment nearly every story. You guys are fucking awesome). The comments are what keep my motivated to write, especially now. For some reason, I can't really get into writing. I do it, but it doesn't come as naturally anymore. It's not that I don't like it, because I do... Ideas just don't come as fast lately.