First of all: Smut warning!

Everybody has that one day where they’re fed up with everything and are close to having a burnout. Some have it when everything seems to be going wrong, others have it when they are faced with too much stress. I had it for no reason on one random day. It was supposed to be a great day, we had gotten the news that we were moved up to main stage since our crowds kept getting bigger. And, holy shit, there were a lot of people.

That should have been so exciting, right? It was a really big thing, a great advancement for our band. It meant that we had created enough buzz in a small amount of time to allow us to play on the same stage all the big bands played. I should have been celebrating like the others. Not all bands got moved up. Actually, most bands didn’t. Somehow we managed to do it. Then, why was I not ecstatic?

I was in a mood that caused me to be annoyed by everything. The smallest of things agitated me. For example, if somebody tapped their fingers on a table, I couldn’t deal with it. If somebody breathed too loud, it made me want to break my fingers. And all the music that was played just made me feel restless, not in a good way. I couldn’t even go to catering. The sheer amount of noise coming from all the people drove me insane.

I made it all the way to and through our set time. However, I couldn’t get off the stage faster as soon as the last chord was played. I gave my guitar to Will, who was still our trusty guitar tech, and b-lined straight back to our bus. Maybe people tried to talk to me, but I wouldn’t know. I ignored it all, doing my best to keep my calm.

At least my determination led to me being the first on the bus and so the first one who got to shower. You’d think taking a shower would help a little. It just made it worse. The water was cold, I had to be fast, and the entire space was way too cramped. To top it all off, I found out one of the guys must have been using my shampoo as well, because it was nearly finished. I nearly ripped my clothes apart trying to put them on in a small clammy space. They only stuck to my skin.

Rather hanging up my clothes outside to air them out, I threw them in the junkbunk that held my and Charlie’s suitcases, deciding I could do it later. I just didn’t have the patience to hang them up perfectly on a coat hanger. It would only piss me off more.

I left the bunks to go to the front lounge, hoping I could enjoy some food I had bought a few days prior. I had kept it in the fridge with my name on it, so technically nobody should have touched it. But it was pretty clear by now how those things went. Of course, I had to pull out the box just to find that it was also nearly empty.

“Okay, who of you fuckers ate my blueberries!” I yelled, turning to the three boys who were sat in the front lounge as well, Colton and the rest of the crew still taking care of our equipment.

“Woah, what’s got you in a pissy mood,” Carter chuckled, throwing and catching a drumstick he had lying around. “Are you on your period or something?”

I glared at him, picking up the nearest thing which happened to be an apple and throwing it at him. He yelped and brought his legs up in defense as he tried to dodge it. He was just so lucky that I didn’t really take my time to throw it, because it hit the couch pretty hard beside him, causing the apple to dent.

“Never ever say that!” Charlie shrieked, flinching as I moved just the slightest bit. “You being gay isn’t an excuse! There are a few things you never ask a woman. Never ask them if they are pregnant, never ask them their age, and never ask if they are on their periods!”

“And you,” I shouted, pointing at him and taking a step forward, causing him to cower away as well, “you shut the fuck up too!”

“What did I do wrong?!” he defended, still trying to protect his head by putting it between his knees while his hands covered the exposed part of the back of his head.

I huffed loudly and stomped back to the bunks with the few blueberries left over. However, just as I was nearly there, I abruptly turned around to face them again, causing Carter and Charlie wince yet again after just having relaxed. “And why the fuck do all your names start with a ‘C’. it’s like all your parents got stuck on the letter ‘C’ section of the baby name book. It’s so fucking confusing! John’s the only normal one here!’

With that final thought, I got into my bunk and harshly closed the curtain, leaving me in complete darkness. All I wanted to do was either punch something or rip something apart. I couldn’t punch the wall, because that would just break my hand. Nor could I rip apart my blankets, because I’d regret that right after. So, I shoved the blueberries in my mouth and crumpled up the thin hard plastic container they came in. It was not the best outlet.

At least my stutter was gone. Trying to keep the positivity running, I felt around for my book and turned on the small overhead light. I opened the book to the last page I was on and started to continue reading. But the light was too yellow and the words were jumping around on the page. Frustrated, I punched the button to turn off the light and threw the book at the wall separating my feet from the next bunk.

There was literally nothing I could do. I was too restless. It was impossible. I was going to be stuck in this endless cycle just for the sole fact that I couldn’t distract myself nor fall asleep. Trust me, I tried.

It only got worse when the guys started walking through the bunk aisle. Their footsteps were way too loud for my liking. All I wanted to do, was sneak my hand past the curtain and grab their feet, giving them a fright and making them fall over.

It took a while, but eventually it got quiet outside my bunk. I decided to take this time to try and focus on my breathing as a last resort. But I didn’t get very far. The footsteps started again, only this time something was thrown in my bunk, landing just beside my legs.

“Hope you don’t mind being alone for two hours, we’re going out!” Charlie called out as all the footsteps continued to move back to the front of the bus.

“Thank fucking god!” I yelled back, the sound of the door closing only echoing a second later.

“That’s kinda mean…” somebody said from inside my bunk.

“What?” I frowned, looking around and wondering where the voice was coming from.

“They just said they were going to leave you alone and you’re just screaming at them. That’s not nice,“ the muffled male voice replied.

I turned on the stupid yellow light again and looked around just to see my phone right where the unidentified object had fallen. Somehow, the guys had gotten access to my phone and managed to call somebody and put them on loudspeaker. I reached out and picked it up just to see a shirtless Jack facetiming me.

“Jack?” I shook my head, my mouth open, not believing my boys would just do that. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what they did, but I’m not up to talk right now.”

“No, no, no, no, no,” he scolded before I could hit the ‘end call’ button. “They called me because you’ve been so pissy and I’m here to cheer you up.”

I exhaled loudly, my hatred for the three boys only increasing. “It’s not my fault that they’re so fucking annoying!”

“Okay, give me one good example where it was okay for you to get mad.”

I thought for a second. Jack was right, I had only gotten mad at them for no reason. That thing about their names was absolutely ridiculous. “Okay, I don’t know what it is. I can promise you that I’m not on my period. I’m still loyal to my birth control and am doing anything not to get my period during these hot days.”

“Since we’re both alone, I’m going to help you,” he insisted, cracking his knuckles, which told me he was on his laptop. “Now, get out of your bunk and go to your suitcase.”

“What? No!” I scoffed. I was not going to go out there again.

“Isle, do it.”

Letting out a complaining groan, I did as I was told, going to the junk bunk with the phone in my hand. I leaned it against Charlie’s suitcase as I ran a hand through my hair out of frustration. “What now?”

“Open the flap at the very bottom of your suitcase, I left a gift there for you,” he told me, waiting for me to follow his instructions.

“Umm, I don’t think so,” I laughed like he was out of his mind. “That means messing up everything I had folded up so nicely!”

“Isle! I’m not fucking around here!” Jack screeched.

“Fine!”

I went digging around in my suitcase, trying my best not to completely ruin all the folding I had done. I liked knowing where exactly everything was. The fact that Jack had hidden something was already disconcerting to me. When I finally did feel the zipper, I opened the flap and pulled out the ‘gift’.

Holding the crumpled up black shirt with a confusing weight already wafted Jack’s familiar scent in my direction. I must admit, it did calm me down a little. It was so strange, just like the unknown cause of this mood. Jack must have known I was going to need something so creepy sometime.

“A shirt? But what am I supposed to--” I went to hold out the shirt to see if there was something special about it other than it being a worn shirt, only to get interrupted by something falling to the floor with a loud ‘thump’.

I looked down to see what I had dropped, only to see something that did not belong to me at all. Nor did I ever want it to belong to me ever in my entire life. My eyes went wide in shock and I was afraid to touch it. This was so not okay. But I couldn’t leave it there on the floor either, that was even worse. So, I picked it up, not enjoying the feeling of the material against my skin at all.

“The fuck, Jack!” I screamed, holding out the translucent purple dildo in front of the screen so he could see.

“Okay, great, you found it.” He gave one single nod and leaned forward a little in his seat. “Now, go back to your bunk.”

“Jack!” I yelped, shaking it a little bit as if he didn’t know what I was talking about. “No fucking way am I ever-- No!”

“Do you want to continue being in a pissy mood or are you willing to fix this and fucking enjoy fixing it,” he threatened back.

Was I a little intrigued? Yes. Was Jack being so demanding turning me on? No, not at all. But was I turned on by him being shirtless? Hell yes, I was. So, I picked up the toy and got back into my bunk like Jack had ordered me to.

“Fine,” I grumbled yet again, only this time going into the bunk instead of out of it.

I closed the curtain despite knowing I was the only one on the bus. It only made me feel more uncomfortable knowing that the guys left the bus knowing what was going to go down. There was no way they coincidentally decided to all leave at exactly the same time right after calling Jack.

“So, what do I do with this?” I asked, holding it up and looking it up and down, wondering what a piece of silicon could do.

“Oh, you know, you just masturbate with it,” Jack shrugged.

Although I knew that, I still choked on my own breath. “Okay, maybe this isn’t a good idea.”

“Just think of me, I’ll help ya out.”

“Wait, you want to fucking watch?”

“Well, I’m already hard as fuck,” he said with no embarrassment or awkwardness in his tone whatsoever, “I’ll guide you through it.”

“I don’t know, Jack…” I sighed but still put my phone on this little ledge, happy to notice that it was just a little dark for him to see me clearly. That meant nobody else could see me either. I could see Jack just fine, though, he was in some sort of bright room.

“Look, just…” he breathed in deeply, looking around to think of another way to convince me. “What I would do if I was there… Well, of course, before we got this far, we’d already have been kissing for a little while. I’d probably start sucking softly on your neck before moving down. I’d gently pepper kisses over your collarbone before going down your breasts and--”

“I’m still wearing my shirt, that makes no sense.” I looked straight at the empty wall in front of me, confused about what was happening.

“Okay, then take off your shirt,” Jack sighed, giving me a frustrated look.

“I’m wearing all my clothes or do you think it’s possible to take off shorts smoothly while in a bunk?” I asked, cocking my head to the side. “That actually makes me wonder… Is it possible? But isn’t the difficult part having to raise your ass from the bed and pull down your shorts while simultaneously holding yourself up.”

I pulled off my shirt, forgetting what we were doing in the first place before trying to take off my shorts as well. It was as awkward as I predicted. My elbow was hitting the wall and the shuffle was very difficult. But I managed to do it.

“Isle,” Jack whined, “you’re literally getting rid of my hard-on right now!”

“What?” I questioned, pushing myself up to pick up my shorts that were half hanging out of my bunk.

“Okay, that’s been fixed now,” he stuttered.

I looked at the screen to see my breasts and bra illuminated by the single light in the bunk. Everything else was completely dark. I rolled my eyes and put my shorts at the end of my bunk before sitting back down in place. However, then I decided it was better to lie down since my back was only starting to hurt. I could still see Jack from my position with my legs up, bent at the knee.

“Does this do anything for you?” he begged, turning down the screen so I could only see his lower stomach and upper legs.

His boxers were pulled down, making him completely bare. Just like he had said, he was standing up proudly. His hand came into view as well, curling around the base. I rolled my head to the side when his hand started moving up and down at a very slow pace. It may have made me feel something, but I liked it way more when he told me what he’d do to me, not only showing off his own pleasure.

“Not really,” I frowned, feeling weird when I actually voluntarily took hold of the dildo again. “Could you just-- just move up the camera a little again. This is too much in my face.”

He let out a shaky breath. “O-okay.”

He looked like he was in pain, not wanting to touch himself while he believed I wasn’t enjoying it. I waited for a while, but couldn’t bear to see him squirming while I had this permanent tingling inside of me.

“So, you were saying?” I urged him to continue.

“Saying?”

“Yeah, you’d kiss my neck… etcetera…”

“Oh,” his eyes lit up, noticing the change in my demeanor, “okay. Well, your eyes will close just like they always do when I kiss that one tender spot behind your ear and let my fingers glide over your side.”

I let my eyes shut, keeping my head on the pillow, and running my fingers over my sides. At first, I was still unsure of what I was doing, but soon I could remember the sensation Jack always created, taking over my imagination as he continued to tell me what he’d do.

“Creeping down inch by inch, my hands will reach your hips. I let my fingers curl around the waistband of your underwear, testing the waters by moving my fingers along it, further to your sides and back up. Then, when you exhale, I finally tug them down bit by bit until I’m about mid-thigh. There, I pull them down in one motion.”

While I couldn’t exactly do that motion, as I had figured out in my little experiment earlier on, I left them at my knees.

Usually, then came the part where we’d have foreplay. Jack would tease me to get me going until a point he knew he could jump in. However, he skipped it this time, knowing that I was already unsure of doing all if this, not wanting move this any further than what I had mentally prepared myself for.

“Knowing to take it further, my lips will leave your neck. At first, it may seem like I’m teasing you, but then you’d feel them against your lips. Our kiss will start off slow, but then it’ll become deeper. Then, you’ll feel me push up against you just before I start sliding in…”

Jack continued to speak, but his voice was drowned out as I pushed in the toy, imagining it to be Jack instead of some silicon object. In no time, I moaned out and pushed my head further into the pillow. I followed the rhythm he imagined for me, the pleasure coursing through me. It didn’t feel as great without Jack’s actual body engulfing mine as our heat mixed together, but it was damn near close, especially with his voice in the background.

He must have started on himself at one point, my small gasps and sounds enough for him to go on, because I heard him let out a sputtering groan before I was finished myself. But still, he was being the perfect lover, and continued to help me through it all, guiding me and the rhythm I had to make myself.

He knew exactly how to do it, and it must have worked out better than I ever had thought, because eventually I felt like there was an explosion rippling through me. My toes curled and I barely had the strength and ability to keep moving the object inside of me. I had to take a second while the experience rushed through me until I finally got to catch my breath.

“Was that so bad?” Jack asked, not able to see me, but definitely able to hear my panting.

“Oh…” was the only thing I could get out shakily, actually wanting the say ‘oh my god’.

“Need a second?” he chuckled.

I could only thank him and apologize to him in one way. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Isle,” he smiled back.

We did chat about other things afterward. I mainly told him about us moving stages, he told me about some of the things he did on his tour--he only briefly complained about the fact that my dudes had called him right when he was going to have some alone time, but it all turned out for the better. It was all there really was to talk about. Just one thing was sure, Jack was right saying that this was the solution to my mood. We continued to talk until Jack told me I had to go clean up before everybody came back on the bus.

When they eventually did, I was already sat in the front lounge, no evidence of what had happened. I had cleaned up everything and had hidden Jack’s ‘gift’ back in the secret compartment of my suitcase.

“So, how was it?” Carter asked, being the first one to be on the bus. He still seemed a little cautious just in case Jack’s plan hadn’t worked.

“Great…” I nodded, more than confused. It was a little weird, maybe even inappropriate, to ask me that question.

“Okay, good,” he sighed in relief. “When Jack told us about this weird-ass method your psychologist, psychiatrist, whatever suggested for these episodes, I was a little skeptical. But, hey, if an empty space and a single voice helps you, then I’m cool with it.”

So Jack had lied to them. My mood hadn’t been an ‘episode’, nor was I ever given a method. The method Carter described did sound quite questionable. Well, it sounded like quite a plausible thing for other people, but I was sure it would only give me more anxiety.

“It’s science, Carter, deal with it,” John shook his head and pushed past everybody to get to the fridge. It seemed like somebody else might have needed the same treatment I had received.

Charlie was the only one to actually go in for a hug. I accepted it, hugging him back, thinking it was just him being friendly. But then he whispered, “you guys had phone sex, didn’t you?”

“Shh!” I giggled back.

Notes

We've got a fairly long chapter again! I don't know if you guys are happy about it being smut or not, but too late to change that now.

Anyway, I have two days left before I move. When I move I won't write for a while because:
a) Introduction week
b) I won't have a laptop
c) I'll need to set everything up again once I do get a laptop.
I need to get a whole new expensive laptop for the course at university I'm starting. It needs a shitload of expensive specifications. And I really do not have the money for that at all. So that's great. I will figure it out, though! My current laptop will not handle the programs, so I'm going to leave it at home. But I will come back, okay?