Login with:

Facebook

Twitter

Tumblr

Google

Yahoo

Aol.

Mibba

Your info will not be visible on the site. After logging in for the first time you'll be able to choose your display name.

Dear Sister, Here's Some Advice

Going Back to Normal

I had been sitting in the uncomfortable black chair for way too long now. The large clock a few feet away from me was showing that it was just past one in the morning. All the stores around me had turned off their lights and closed their doors. Many people had already asked me if I was ok, if there was a reason why I was still there. But, yes. Yes, I was there for a reason. I just hadn’t expected to still be at the airport so early in the morning. It was just my luck that Jack’s flight had been canceled.

No, he wasn’t stuck in Europe. He had already been in New York for quite some time. The problem was coming home from New York. Along with Alex, they had been stuck at the airport trying to get on another flight. It was no luck until the staff realized who they were dealing with. The whole international rockstar part didn’t matter, but they were frequent fliers. So, that ‘quickly’ got them on the next possible flight.

That didn’t mean I hadn’t been waiting at the airport at home for ages. Jack did tell me he wasn’t going to come home at the original time planned, but after that things got a little more confusing. He kept me updated and once told me that he was going on the next flight for sure. So, I started driving to the airport on time. Only, he happened to hit me with the ‘sorry, not this flight. We’ll try getting on the next’ once I was already there. So, I spent my remaining hours walking around the public part of the airport.

At one point, Jack even told me that he was going to stay in New York for an extra day and maybe stay with his sister. So, I started making my way back to the car. But then right when I was in the parking lot, he changed his mind. He realized that we were going on holiday in just one day and that he would rather get home and repack his bag as fast as possible. So, then slowly but surely it turned into one am.

It wasn’t like I had better things to do… no, not at all.

I even had shitty fast food as dinner. Something in me really wanted to leave that for tour life, when it was nearly impossible to have good meals without it being overpriced. But at an airport, there wasn’t much else for me to eat. I could just feel my body not enjoying the greasiness. But it was worse to not eat anything, so I sucked it up.

I was no longer waiting at the doors where everybody always expected their family and friends, so I had no indication as to when Alex and Jack arrived. Instead I was sitting somewhere closer to the actual exit. From there, I had a clear view of the TV screens showing the flights. Literally the only flight still on there that wasn’t later on in the morning was Jack’s. It said that they had already landed, it was just a matter of time before they claimed they baggage and made their way through customs.

It actually happened way quicker than expected. One second I was nearly falling asleep in the chair with my knees pulled up to my chest, the next Alex and Jack were basically already standing next to me with a few large suitcases. Somehow they had managed to sneak up on me. Of course, they were still quite a few feet away, but I hadn’t seen them when they had just entered the corridor they were walking through.

I got up from my seat and grabbed the paper bag I had sitting next to me the entire time before running up to the two guys. Of course I went straight for Jack first. It had been six weeks since he had visited me and I last saw him, it would have been alarming if I wasn’t excited to have him back.

I leaped into his arms and he lifted me off the floor. I would have let out a squeal if it weren’t for the whole airport being abandoned and so the noise echoing everywhere. Once my feet were back on the ground, our lips connected in a brief kiss. Usually, it would have been way longer than just two seconds, and I could tell Jack had full intentions to do that later, but I felt bad for Alex. Lisa wasn’t here to pick him up because she had to be somewhere early in the morning, so I offered to take him home as well. I didn’t have to go rub it in his face.

Prying Jack’s hands off my body, I turned to Alex and held out my arms for him as well. His eyes immediately showed something along the lines of being a little uncomfortable and indifferent about what he was supposed to do. I could tell he still wasn’t sure about me and didn’t exactly like me all that much. But I had to get him over that. Even if it meant I had to act oblivious, which was horrible for me since I always felt terrible if I was annoying someone. I just wasn’t planning on leaving anytime soon, so I was going to have to make him break through the hate he had for me.

“Oh, come on, you know you want to!” I shook my arms a little in a shimmying way and gave him a wink.

He still looked unsure, not really making any advances. Only after he quickly and accidentally glanced in Jack’s direction, Jack giving him a stern glare, did he go for it. His arms wrapped around me in a loose awkward manner, patting my back a little, while I was way more ok with the whole thing.

“It isn’t that bad.” I chuckled, acknowledging the hatred he was trying to hide out in the open. I didn’t need him thinking I was stupid enough not to notice what was still going on.

He just nodded and gave me a forceful smile. It just seemed like he was trying to create tension on purpose. But I wasn’t going to have it that way, especially since I knew it would only hurt Jack. Somehow I was going to have to turn Alex’s behavior into what it was like before the weird stuff Jack and I had going on. He liked me just fine then.

“Oh, right. I brought you guys food!” I held up the paper bag with a big grin on my face.

Jack eyes immediately lit up as he snatched it from me and opened it with excitement. “Oh my god, you got curly fries!”

“Of course I did, who would I be if I didn’t?” I retorted with a knowing smirk. The second way to Jack’s heart was through special types of food that he really liked. Even chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs would get him excited.

“Only the worst girlfriend ever.” Jack joked as he stuffed a couple of the fries in his mouth. I could hear Alex snort a little before Jack offered him some as well and he still took a few.

I had to stop myself from wanting to roll my eyes. Instead I decided to keep up my happy attitude that could annoy anyone. I nudged Alex a little and put on a bright smile. “Thanks for looking after Taco for us while we’re gone.”

“You should thank Lisa for that,” he replied as if he didn’t want to take credit, but it was more to show that he wasn’t doing it because of me, “she’s the one who will probably do all the work.”

I nodded a little, already wanting to give up. But it wasn’t going to happen so easily. He was going to have to do way more than resent me to get rid of me. All I had to do was make that clear to him. Nothing was going to make me leave Jack unless it was our doing. He could try all he wanted, but some petty little grudge wasn’t going to stop me.

Not much later, we were in the car driving to Alex’s house. Jack had insisted that Alex sit in the front since he was going to leave the car first anyway. Secretly, inside I really didn’t want it, but I acted like I was completely fine with the decision. I let Alex choose the music that quietly played through the car’s speakers. Other than that, the car was absolutely silent. Alex and I didn’t say a word to each other and Jack had fallen asleep in the backseat.

I couldn’t help but smile at my boyfriend’s sleeping figure in the back while I pulled up in front of Alex’s house. While Jack’s position didn’t look all too comfortable, with his neck craned back and his mouth open just a little, it still seemed so adorable. I didn’t want to have to wake him later when we arrived home.

I turned off the engine and took my keys out of the ignition while I stepped out of the car to help Alex with his suitcases. He looked quite surprised to see me standing next to him at the trunk. I completely ignored it and started taking out the bags I knew weren’t Jack’s. Maybe it seemed like I wanted him gone as quickly as possible, but that wasn’t my intention at all.

After I closed the trunk as quietly as possible as to not wake Jack up, I picked up two of the suitcases Alex had and started carrying them to the front door. He still seemed surprised by my actions, following me with the remainder two larger suitcases he had, cautiously watching me as if I was going to hit him with something. I just needed to say something to him, that was all.

So when all the suitcases were back on the floor, and he started looking for his house key, I decided to start with what was on my mind, getting his attention as soon as I started speaking. “Look, Alex, I know you don’t exactly like me, but it also isn’t like you’re trying to hide it--if you are, then you’re doing a horrible job, but I expect more from you. I also understand that you’re just trying to look out for Jack, that’s what a best friend is supposed to do. But I just want to you to know I’d never intentionally hurt Jack like that. I know that what I have done doesn’t exactly make me trustworthy, but I really wasn’t in the right place mentally then. I now realize I could have handled things differently, but Jack and I both fucked up there. I take my medication now, and things are getting way better, so you don’t need to worry about me having some weird random outbursts anymore. And I also now know the next question ‘but what happens when I stop taking it?’. Well, I don’t know. If I did, I would tell you, but I’m hoping not to find out soon. If it ever does though, blame it on my brain, not me. It would be like blaming somebody who’s depressed for being sad.”

He looked taken aback by my small speech and just stared at me for a while. I didn’t know what was going to come next, but I certainly was afraid of it. He could deny that he had been disliking me, making everything useless, he could dismiss it all, he could call me mentally incapable of being with Jack. Anything could happen really.

“You know, nobody ever told me what you take medication for…” he mumbled as if embarrassed to ask.

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. I would have expected Jack to have told him in no time. But maybe Jack just didn’t want to go around saying things about me without knowing if I was ok with anybody else knowing. Only my immediate family and Jack really knew, then.

I nodded to show that I was ok with him wondering; maybe this was the final step to stop him from being mad at me. So, I told him what he needed to know and maybe a bit more, “PTSD. Jack noticed something was up but they misdiagnosed me with depression. I barely got any sleep and would sneak away into the living room every night, coming back in the morning so that Jack wouldn’t think something was wrong. I completely ignored everybody around me and focused on work because it was the only thing that kind of took my mind of things. The flashbacks were horrible… Now, things only occasionally trigger me, but other than that I believe I’m doing fine.”

“Is this…?” He pointed between us, trying to gesture something that couldn’t be physically seen.

I shook my head. “No, I can talk about my PTSD just fine now. If you ask me about my flashbacks, however…” Dread filled me. I shouldn’t have mentioned not wanting to talk about the flashbacks in detail, because now all I could do was think about them in detail. All the images came back again. “Shit… you know what? I’m going to go. Nice having this conversation with you.”

I turned to leave, but Alex grabbed my wrist before I could walk away. “You can’t drive like this.”

“Yeah, I wasn’t going to drive. I just need to calm down before it hits me like a truck…”

“Let me get you a glass of water,” Alex offered as he let go of my wrist and went to open his front door.

“No, I’m fine. I can’t leave Jack in the car all by himself anyway,” I excused, not up for anybody fussing about me right when my heart and brain were already chaotic.

“Are you sure?”

I nodded in return and tried drying my hands off on my jeans. If I stayed there for much longer, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from having an anxiety attack. I already had had one that day, I didn’t need another. When did that other one happen, you may ask? When I read one of my brother’s letters.

“I’m so sorry,” Alex muttered before I waved him off and scurried back to the car.

Notes


This was also written ages ago. Damn.... I forgot they sort of made up... I am like two whole steps further in the plotline right now xD

Comments

@settle for me.
I usually just post a chapter a day or every other day. Sometimes less, sometimes more frequently. No need to force it in a short amount of time.
Well, two stories are close to finishing, so a new one will arise. It's based on an idea I got years ago, but I made it a bit more sophisticated. If a story about an age gap intrigues you, keep your eye out for it.

@aweirdkindofyellow
I remember you saying and I did say I was going to do the same but I just honestly never got around to it.
I have been told nothing about any of your new ones, just that you have lots on the go.

@settle for me.
I've been transferring everything to Wattpad and AO3 for quite a while now. Given up on Mibba though. Never liked that interface and layout, so couldn't be bothered.
I'm going to start another story soon (after I finish some that I am currently writing). And I'll still post it here, but you'll just have to actively search for it yourself if you want to read it. I don't know if you've been told anything about it yet, but you might like it or hate it.

@aweirdkindofyellow
Same! No one else updates anymore and I need to start on another site but I just... don't have the energy?
I'm going to be absolutely lost when you finish the ones I'm subscribed to. I honestly won't have anything to do.

@settle for me.
I've also really been missing reading other people's new stories. Seriously, the only story I still read right now is yours. I just can't find anything else.
I've actually been trying to figure out a way how to change the sequel to this story so it's not as long and officially ends there as well.