It was the 21st of February. We had just had a day off, the next show being on the 22nd in Calgary. That particular night, we got to stay in a hotel, which meant nice clean showers and bathrooms, but most importantly real beds. The guys were already so used to sleeping in bunks since they had gotten a tour bus ever since they had started the band up again. I, however, was a complete newbie. It wasn’t so much the noise and the rocking of the bus that annoyed me, it actually helped me fall asleep some nights, but sometimes I felt so claustrophobic. We didn’t have the fancy bunks that Jack had, with only two above each other. That extra third bunk just made it all so much more narrow. I had my fair share of bumping my head against the ceiling. Luckily, I wasn’t the only one who did it, I just didn’t seem to stop after three days.

With the day off, I just went exploring with Carter. I don’t know what the others did, but we also didn’t have to spend every single minute of every single day together. It was nice to get some alone time. I just happened to spend that alone time with somebody else… All we did was go into random stores and had lunch together. Nothing special, really. It was a fun, relaxed day with no pressures of having to go up on stage.

About that, that was going better and better by the day. I still got quite nervous, but I also pushed myself through it every single day. It was quite rewarding, even though most people in the crowd were confused when I started singing. There were people who had no idea who we were, then there were people who looked up the band online and only heard a guy singing, and then there were the fans who already followed the band before and actually knew what had happened. The latter group was the smallest. But, hey, at least I managed to push myself. And the group of people that could sing along kept growing larger and larger. I also sang with Pierce The Veil at every show. That definitely helped boost my confidence a little. It was all coming together.

But that didn’t mean I wasn't already fucking exhausted.

We had a band dinner at the hotel restaurant and the guys decided that they wanted to go out to a bar afterward. I, however, didn’t feel up for it at all. So, I let them go while I took the advantage of the hotel gym. As tired as I was, I wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity of working out in a real gym. All the stuff I usually did was just some cardio that consisted of me going on a run and some floor work outs that I would do in the dressing rooms. Getting to use some actual equipment just felt so much better.

So, after getting changed in the hotel room that John and I were going to share, I took my keycard, phone, headphones, and water bottle and went straight down to the gym. Nobody else was there, meaning none of the machines were occupied. Smiling, I looked through my phone to see if there was a playlist or album I could play while spending time here, but eventually decided nothing felt right. So, instead I started warming up without any music to keep myself occupied.

As soon as I felt like my blood was flowing, I stopped my warm up and picked up some of the small dumbbells. I was just going to do my usual floor work out, but this time with proper weights. Since nobody had brought any weights along, including me, I either had to improvise or just do the workout without weights but for a longer time. Sometimes I’d take a random object I’d find, however that was always really clumsy.

So, I started doing my usual routine that consisted of crunches, Russian twists, squats, and anything else that worked out my core. I mean, who didn’t like being toned? Especially since Jack and I were still going on that vacation with our families. It wasn’t like I was trying to impress everyone, I just wanted to feel good about myself. Ever since I finally got the opportunity to be healthy again, I wanted to do it all properly. I was no longer that twig I used to be during chemo, but I wasn’t right where I wanted to be yet. But I knew it was going to take a while to get there.

When I was about halfway through the exercises I wanted to do, some other people joined me in the gym. After finishing a set, I decided to turn around and see who it was. I wasn’t sure if I was happy to see it was people I knew or if it was supposed to make me feel more uncomfortable. On one hand, I didn’t need to be afraid that something inappropriate was going to happen, but on the other they were able to watch everything I did.

“Hey, guys,” I still said with a smile, acknowledging Vic and Jaime who were looking around at what they could do. They nodded back at me, giving back their greetings. I didn’t know they also worked out, but then again there wasn’t much time on tour.

At least I had already done my squats, or this would have been very awkward. It wasn’t that I thought they’d judge me or anything, I just didn’t feel all too comfortable, you know? As weird as it was to exercise all alone in quite a large room, feeling like somebody was watching you didn’t feel any better.

I still finished off the entire plan I had, though, and decided to go run on the treadmill for a little while. Ok, so I didn’t do anything different compared to what I could do on a daily basis, but I still felt like it was different. At least the Pierce The Veil guys were using the actual machines.
I got on the treadmill and increased the speed over time, going for an interval training. Now, that was something that was a lot more difficult to do if you were just running around the neighborhood. So, maybe going to the gym hadn’t been such a waste. Whenever I tried to do it myself, I always found myself either speeding up too much or slowing down. Using a machine was way more consistent.

When I was just over ten minutes into my run, my phone started blaring music. I was about to swear and wonder how the hell it started playing music, when I saw Jack’s name pop up on the screen, requesting me to FaceTime. I rolled my eyes, happy that it was just him and that my phone didn’t somehow become possessed. I had completely forgotten that Charlie thought it would have been funny to set my ringtone to one of Cam’s songs… or our songs… songs the band made before I joined? All it ever got to was the intro riff, but still.

I answered the call, not really thinking about the fact that I was still running at quite a high speed. “You’re on loudspeaker, don’t say anything you wouldn’t say in public.”

Jack’s pixelated face showed up, smirking at my comment. “Dick, shit, balls, fuck, ass, cunt…”
His list continued, repeating the some of the words over and over again, but I had plugged in my earphones before he got to that.

I shook my head at him as his swear words only filled my ears. “You can stop now, I’m the only one that can hear you.”

“Awe, man, I was having my moment! Where’re my fifteen minutes of fame!” He pouted, stopping with his swear words. However, that overdramatized pout soon turned into a confused frown as he inspected his own screen closer. “Wait, what the hell are you doing? You’re all sweaty and bouncing up and down. Are you riding another guy’s dick?”

“Yes, Jack, I am.” I nodded and hoped he noticed my emotionless glare and sarcastic tone. “It’s why I answered a FaceTime call, just so you could see it.”

He chuckled, fortunately knowing that I was joking, his initial question also being more like a joke than a serious question. “I’m sorry, it’s my other head thinking. I’ve been trying to hold out, but every small thing is turning me on right now. I’m afraid that watching porn would make me explode.”

“So, use your imagination instead.” I pointed out the obvious, hoping that it wasn’t obvious to Vic and Jaime that we were talking about sex.

“That was me using my imagination, only I don’t know why I added a random stranger in there…” He shifted his position a little, making me wonder if it was just because he was trying to get more comfortable or because he was trying to hide any possible arousal. “I swear to god, be prepared for the greatest sex when we see each other again and you feel up for it. It will be the best ten seconds of your life!”

“Looking forward to it.” I giggled and slowly started decreasing the speed of the treadmill, not really caring that I hadn’t reached my fifteen-minute goal. Talking to Jack was a priority over working out.

“Oh, trust me, I will blow your mind! You’ll be so surprised with how quick I finish. It will be like I’m the flash. In, out, done.” He made some thrusting movements along with his sentence, making me laugh again. “Anyway, what are you actually doing?”

“Well, I was just running,” I answered, pressing the stop button, “but I’m done with that now. All I have to do is stretch so that I don’t cramp up tomorrow morning.”

“Hmm,” he nodded, seeming a little preoccupied by something else. “I’ll watch you stretch then. If you want to do me a favor, maybe give me a nice view of your ass that I can screenshot? Wait, fuck, no. Wrong head again! I actually called you for a reason!”

“Ok, well then. What is--” As I got off the treadmill, my earphones got stuck on something briefly, causing me to drop my phone rather than pull the earbuds out of my ears. Jack screamed loudly, as my phone landed face first on the floor.

“Ouch! What the fuck!” I yelped in return, Jack’s scream causing my ears to throb and ring right after.

“Are you ok?” Vic asked as he and Jaime looked at me with worried eyes. It wasn’t uncommon for people to get injured seriously in the gym. Only, usually it was because they were working out, not because of something completely unrelated.

“Yeah, all good.” I waved them off and picked up my phone. Jack was staring at me with wide frantic eyes as if I had actually thrown him on the floor.

“What was that for?” He shrieked. “Taco just flew from one end of the room all the way upstairs!”

“I’m pretty sure that’s because of your scream, not because I dropped my phone,” I sneered back, hoping my hearing wouldn’t be affected. “Are you trying to make me deaf or something? I would understand my hearing getting worse due to the crew sometimes putting my in-ears too loud, but not because you screamed for no reason.”

“No reason? You dropped me to the floor!”

“Jack…” I stared right at him, once again with no other emotion than complete seriousness, as I put down my phone on the floor against the wall so I could start stretching. “You’re literally in our living room, on the couch. I did not drop you. All you probably saw was some messy video.”

“Ok, ok, you’re right. I’m just overreacting. But, as you were asking before: why am I calling you? What is the reason? Well…” He started telling me but trailed off as I bent down to touch my toes. Before I could ask what was going on, I heard some shuffling and the sound of him taking a screenshot, his tongue out as he tried to press both the home button and the power button at the same time.

“Oh my god, you’re gross.” I scrunched up my nose and got on the floor. The next stretch I did was also for the same muscles, I straightened one leg to the side and brought the other foot close to me as I bent over. Jack took another screenshot since my chest was on full display from the angle the camera was looking. I gave him a small glare and he raised his hands up in defense.

“Ok, right. Where was I…” He started again, acting like nothing had happened. “Oh, yes! Happy anniversary!”

“What?” I asked, not know what he was talking about. Had I missed something?

“Our anniversary! You know, the day we got together, the day we kissed at the hospital, the day it all happened for real.” His eyes looked sad as if I had betrayed him. It was like his whole ego deflated, the hyper Jack from a few seconds before had completely disappeared.

“That’s today?” I frowned, shaking my head at him. “I thought it was tomorrow.”

“Well, yeah. For you it’s tomorrow, but for me it’s today. I’m three hours ahead in the future! I waited until midnight to call you.”

I let out a breath, relieved that I hadn’t fucked up as much I was made to believe. “You made me think I had the dates messed up! Why the hell are you trying to make me feel bad?”

“I’m not.” He gave me puppy dogs eyes so that I would forgive him. “I just wanted to be the first one to say it.”

“Well, you just did and you gave me a scare along with it.”

He gave me an expectant look and pouted when I didn’t do anything further. “Come on, say it!”

“Say what?” I questioned, deciding that I was done working out and stretching for the day even though I didn’t do enough of either.

“Say it back!” He jumped up and down a little, excited for the words he had never expected to hear in his lifetime to leave my lips.

“I can’t say it back!” I scoffed, standing up from the floor and picking up my water bottle. “It’s only the 21st for me. It won’t be real then. I can call you back tomorrow, though.”

“No,” he whined like a little kid not getting the toy he wanted at the store, “well, yes, do that as well because I’ll be at Alex’s and I want him to get annoyed at our cuteness. But you have to say it back! It’s already the 22nd for me, you have to congratulate me for it! Or you have to stay up till midnight, that would also be ok.”

“Yeah, that’s not happening.” I laughed, already knowing that I would pass out in bed right after taking a shower. But Jack looked so hopeful, I couldn’t just leave him without giving him what he wanted. So, I rolled my eyes and sighed. “Alright, fine. Happy anniversary, Jack.”

“Yay!” He cheered out, doing a little victory dance without getting off the couch.

I couldn’t help but chuckle at his dorkiness as I made my way to the exit. I said goodbye to the Pierce The Veil guys, telling them I’d see them again tomorrow, and went straight for the elevator. Honestly, I couldn’t wait until I could crawl into bed and fall asleep.

“So, what are we going to do now?” Jack asked as the elevator started taking me up to the floor my room was at.

“I am probably going to take a shower and go to bed. I’m exhausted,” I told him and left the elevator as soon as the doors opened. Luckily, my room was only three doors away, so I was there in no time.

“Would you get mad at me if I asked if I could stay while you took that shower?” He wiggled his eyebrows and licked his lips a little.

Normally, I would have said hell no, but it was nearly our anniversary, and if I had been back at home, I sure as hell would have done something special for him. Whether that be wearing something I knew he’d like, letting him try out something new, or just staying in bed all day. There was bound to have been something sexual, but I wasn’t at home to do it, and I didn’t exactly feel comfortable having phone sex with him, not unless I knew I was fine having normal sex with him again.

“Will you take more creepy screenshots?” I entered the room and went to the bathroom straight away, not bothering to find my pajamas until after I had taken the shower.

“Do you want me to?”

“Of course I don’t want you to!” I exclaimed and put my phone on the counter, angling it so that the shower was in plain view and took my earphones out so that he was back on loudspeaker. “If you’re going to take pictures of me clothed, that’s your problem, but if you are going take pictures of me naked, I will murder you in your sleep.”

“So that’s a no to everything?” He bit his bottom lip, still hoping for the best.

“I mean, you tell me.” I turned on the shower and pulled my sweaty shirt over my head.

“Fuck, yes!” Jack squealed out, his hands immediately going to his belt and fumbling to undo it. In no time, he had his jeans down to his knees and was prepared to take his boxers off.

I came closer briefly, not because I wanted to see what was going on, but because I had to make one more thing clear to him. “Just so you know, I will be taking a normal shower and won’t be putting on a show for you. I don’t know how long it is going to take, so you better hurry up.”

“Don’t worry, baby, I’ll be out in no time.”

I stripped off the rest of my clothes and went to stand in the shower. Maybe I couldn’t see Jack, but he could definitely see me. I just hoped for him that things wouldn’t fog up and prevent him from seeing what he wanted. As I started lathering my hair with the shampoo provided, I could hear the groans coming from my device. And I would have been lying if I said it didn’t turn me on a little. It just wasn’t enough for me to actually take a step further.

Not long after, I was wearing my pajamas and lying underneath the covers in the bed I had claimed, Jack still talking to me through FaceTime. He looked so happy and energized despite it already being two in the morning for him. Maybe my little surprise had contributed to that.

“Goodnight, Isle, I love you.” He whispered after I had told him I could barely keep my eyes open.

“I love you too,” I mumbled back, reaching out to put my phone in the charger and turn off the bedside lamp. Hopefully, John wasn’t going to wake me up when he came in later.

“Have sweet dreams.”

Unfortunately, John hadn’t been the one to wake me up, but a horrifying nightmare managed to slip its way in. I was going to have to brace myself for the next couple of nights, being at the point where the medication was starting to make things worse.

Notes

My writing has come to a stop for a while. I'm super busy with school word and don't believe I'll get back to writing very soon. Count on it going to take two more weeks before I start. I might still find some time to write, but I don't want to get anybody's hopes up. I will, however, still be here to reply to comments and read stories. So, if there's anybody out there wanting me to read their work, hit me up.