Night Drives

Alex's POV

For some strange reason i woke up really early.
I looked over at Jack who was sound asleep on the sofa I had in my room.
I smiled I myself and go out of bed and picked the blanket up which had fallen off Jack and gently put it back over him and Jack sighed loudly and moved down under the covers.
I chuckled quietly and quietly walked out my rom and went downstairs.

Even though everyone was used to seeing my arms covered in scars it was still too much for me to cope with the especially when they look at my arms.
"What the bloody hell was you thinking last night." Mum said as I walked out to the kitchen.
"I had a shit day at school and I wanted to forget about it for a few hours." I said and went to the cupboard forgetting it was locked.
"Stop locking this cupboard yeah, I'm not going to kill myself on pain killers and Ethan's epilepsy medication, nor mine when the doctors finally get round to giving me mine." I said.
"So you think smoking drugs and drinking is going to help you Alex, because it's not. It's going to destroy your life if you can't keep control of it." Mum said.
"Well it's either the drugs or my head which is going to kill me so I'm fucked either way." I said and mum sighed.
"Look, like me and your father have been saying since you was 15, the weekends are yours and you can do whatever you want with them, it's the same with the holidays. But school nights you don't drink or smoke weed. You might be 19 but you are still living under this roof and when you move out that's when you can do what you want." Mum said and I looked down.
"I don't want to argue with you this morning since your head must hurt." Mum said and I smiled at her.
I could feel mum looking at my arms.
"All of you are my babies you know that Alex. I don't care where the hell you end up or who you end up with, I will still care and treat you like you still a child." Mum said and I smiled.
"I don't want you too hurt yourself anymore." Mum said and put her hand on my arm but I moved my arm away as I couldn't stand people touching my arm if they weren't covered.
"Don't touch my arms please." I said quietly.
"Alex I don't care about your scars, I don't want you to hurt yourself anymore than what you have done." Mum said.
"You might not care but I do. I care because I know if I can't keep my head on the straight and narrow I will be back to where I was before you found out. I'm worried that if I get like that again I might not be able to stop myself." I said and I felt mum pull me into a hug which I returned but it felt odd as I was taller than what mum was.
"You can always talk to me or your dad Lex." Mum said quietly and I nodded.
"Now you need to shower and get dressed and get your friend up and you both are walking to school." Mum said and I pulled back and looked at her.
"But school is like a hours walk from here." I said.
"Then you shouldn't of drunk and smoked anything then should you." Mum said and I just groaned and walked off and went upstairs.

"Why do we have to walk?' Jack asked as we walked to school and so far we was only half way.
"Because we was stupid and got stoned and drunk on a school night." I said and Jack groaned.
"But it was such a good idea at the time." Jack said and I chuckled.
"I know right, but this is my mums way of punishment without actually grounding me since she can't do that as we have a rule in my house that when we're 18 we can do whatever we want but if we are caught and the police come to the door then we was in shit." I said and Jack frowned a little.
"I get this feeling that you was treated differently." Jack said.
"My dad found drugs on me when I was 15 and the caught me sneaking out to a party one night and no matter how many times they grounded me I would always find a way to escape and that. There was even one time when I was 17 when I was returned home by the police but that was for something I don't really want to talk about." I said and looked down.
"So you was the favorite?" Jack asked and I laughed.
"I'm not the favorite. Alaska and Ethan are the favorites." I said and Jack frowned and I realized he has no clue who Alaska was.
"Alaska is my older sister. She's moved out and lives in the next town but she comes over and visits every weekend." I said and Jack nodded.

We got to school and went to lessons which was home room for the whole morning which was going to be boring as fuck, but it shouldn't be that bad as I had Jack and Ollie to keep me entertained.
"You two look fucked." Ollie said as he sat with me and Jack.
"Well getting stoned and drunk at 2 in the morning isn't the most brightest thing I've chosen to do." I said and looked at Jack who looked like he could fall asleep.
"Jack wake up before the teacher catches you." I said and pushed him which nearly made him fall of the chair but he grabbed hold of Ollie who stopped him falling.
"My ass hurts." Jack said and Ollie looked at me.
"He fell out of the hammock last night while we was drinking and getting high." I said and Ollie smirked.
"Okay, since Jack is part of the team now. Only think it's fair that we get to know you." Ollie said and I looked at him knowing where this was heading.
"Okay." Jack said.
"Boys do I need to spilt you up?" The teacher said as he walked over and put the work on our table.
"No." we all said together although Jack just grunted I kicked him under the table and Jack looked at me.
I just glared at him hoping he would understand what I was trying to say.
He sort of took the hint but not much which made me roll my eyes.
"You guys will be making a presentation about mental illness and how it affects people." The teacher and me and Ollie looked at him.
"Your serious right? Alex has literally gotten out of hospital because of mental health problems and you want us to present something about mental health? The fuck is wrong with you?' Ollie said and I looked down messing with my hands.
"More the reason for you guys to do it." The teacher said and walked off.
"Lex you don't have to do this if you don't want to do it. The bastard is just insensitive even though all the teachers know about being careful round you and that they need to give you space if you need it." Ollie said and I nodded.
"I need some air, I can't do this, I'm sorry it's too soon." I said and I got up and walked out the room.

I was hiding in the toilets when I heard someone walk in.
I sniffed and wiped my nose in my hoodie hoping the person didn't hear me, but I knew they did so I didn't care anymore.
"Alex is that you?" I heard Jack ask softly.
"Leave me alone." I sniffed.
"Alex, Ollie sent me to make sure your okay. You just have to say your okay and I'll leave you alone." Jack said and I shook my head and ran my hand through my hair, a war going through my mind wether to lie or not.
"Alex talk to me please." Jack said and I felt his head gently lean on the closed toilet door.
"I'm. Not. Okay." I said slowly feeling tears roll down my cheek.
"Do you want me to get Ollie?" Jack said.
"No." I whispered.
"What do you want me to do Alex?" Jack asked and I shook my head and sniffed loudly.
"Alex open the door for me please." Jack said softly.
"I have cigarettes if you want one." Jack said and despite my mini breakdown I smiled.
I got up and unlocked the door and moved and sat on the toilet and Jack slowly opened the door.
"Hey there handsome." Jack said and I chuckled and sniffed.
Jack walk over and knelt in front of me.
"Life is too short for such sorrow." Jack said quietly.
Jack made me look at me.
"A pretty face like yours shouldn't be so tear stained and have such sad eyes." Jack said quietly and I looked down.
I had my sleeves rolled up and I felt Jack look at my arms.
"Such beautiful skin but so scared." Jack said and went to touch my arm but I moved them away and looked at him.
"This you hitting in me?" I sniffed.
"You wish." Jack smiled and winked at me which made me look down and blush.
"Lets go and have a cigarette, yeah. Then by the you've calmed down lesson will be over." Jack said and stood up and offerenp me his hand which I took and he helped me up.
"Do you accept hugs?" Jack asked.
"Because it's you, then I'll accept." I said quietly and Jack pulled me into a hug which I returned.

Notes