Alex Gaskarth's POV


It'd been a few hours since I'd talked to Jack, and I was sitting on the bus with my head buried in my hands. I was so confused, and it was making my head hurt. All these different thoughts were running through my head, and I didn't know what to do.


I thought that I was over Mila. I really did, but seeing her today...all those old feelings rushed back, hitting me like a tidal wave. I was also thinking about what Jack said earlier, about Lisa not being right for me.


I wasn't sure what he'd meant by that, and he'd refused to elaborate any further. Lisa really was a great girl. She was pretty and smart and kind, but was that really what I wanted? It's what I thought I wanted, until Mila stepped back into my life.


Now, my mind was consumed with thoughts of Mila. When I looked at Lisa, hazel eyes replaced her brown ones,blonde hair replacing her brown hair. All I saw was Mila, and it was driving me insane. Lisa and I weren't at the stage where we'd said 'I love you', but I still felt bad.


I felt like I was leading her on, letting her think I was head over heels for her, when in reality, I was having thoughts about another girl. Lisa definitely didn't deserve that. She deserved to be with someone who wanted to be with her...and, I guess that guy isn't me. Not anymore.


“What's wrong, dude?” Jack's voice pulled me from my thoughts, and I looked up to see him staring down at me, a concerned look on his face. I sighed heavily. “Just thinking.” I answered. “About what?” He asked, sitting across from me.


“Mila.” I answered honestly. He raised an eyebrow at me. “What about her?” “I just...I don't know what to do, Jack. Lisa is a really great girl, she is, but I can't stop thinking about Mila. Ever since I saw her earlier today, she's all I can think about.” I admitted.


“I feel like the world's biggest piece of shit, man. I feel like I'm leading Lisa on, because while I'm with her physically, it's just not there emotionally, and she doesn't deserve that. I'm...I'm still in love with Mila, Jack.”


“You're what?” He choked out, clearly shocked by my confession. He'd know that I still liked Mila, but I had told the guys that I didn't love her anymore, thought I knew it was a lie as soon as the words escaped my lips.


“I just...I never stopped, Jack. I thought I did, but seeing her today...I know for sure that I still care about her. I still love her.” “Well, why don't you go and talk to her?” He suggested. “What about Lisa?” Jack shrugged.


“Alex, you're a grown man. I can't tell you what to do here. That's on you. All I know is, you've got two girls, one of which probably doesn't want to be with you again, but there is a chance that she just might. It's up to you to take the risk and find out.” He said.


“Wow, that is really great advice, Jack. Are you feeling okay?” I teased with a slight smile. “Fuck off, man.” He said with a smirk, shaking his head. “I've gotta go find Emersyn. My mom was asking about wedding shit and I have no idea what she was talking about. Good luck.”


With that, Jack stood up and stepped off the bus, leaving me alone with my thoughts. He was right, there was a chance that Mila would completely blow me off, and then I'd have broken Lisa's heart for no reason.


There was a chance, however, that she would want to be with me just as badly as I wanted to be with her, and I don't think I could live with myself if I didn't find out if I still had a chance with her. She was, after all, the love of my life.


With my mind made up, I quickly jumped off and raced off the bus, desperate to find Mila and tell her how I felt. I searched the grounds for nearly twenty minutes, but I didn't see her anywhere. I frowned; maybe this was a sign that I was meant to keep my mouth shut?


As I was making my way back towards the bus, I heard that familiar giggle. Mila was standing over by We Are The In Crowd's tour bus, joking around and laughing at something that Taylor Jardine had said to her. I smiled, taking a step forward to go and talk to her.


“There you are, baby!” Lisa exclaimed, flinging her arms around my neck and pressing her lips to mine. “I've been looking everywhere for you.” She beamed up at me. I looked over to where Mila was. She was looking right at me. Fuck.


She offered me an awkward smile and a little wave before turning her attention back to Taylor. I inwardly groaned as Lisa gave me an odd look. “Is everything okay, Alex?” She asked. I looked down and gave her a small smile. “Everything's fine, Lis.”


Mila Munroe's POV


I didn't think it would upset me as much as it did to see that Alex had a girlfriend. I mean, why wouldn't he? We broke up five years ago. It was foolish of me to cling to some shred of hope that he was still single and pining over me. Not that I was pining over him or anything.


After parting ways with Taylor Jardine, I made my way onto my own tour bus, and was quite relieved to find that it was empty; the guys must still be hanging out with the guys from Pierce The Veil, and I was thankful for that.


I pulled my suitcase out of the storage area on the bus and rummaged around in it until I found what I was looking for. I pulled the envelope from the suitcase, lightly tracing my black-polished fingertips across my name, scrawled across the front, thinking back to the day when I'd received it.


“Hey, Mila?” I looked up from where I was sitting on my front porch, arms wrapped tightly around my knees as I cried silently to myself. “What do you want, Emersyn? I told you to leave me the hell alone.” I spat angrily.


Emersyn frowned, working the flesh of her bottom lip between her teeth as she knelt down in front of me; she wasn't used to me speaking to her like this, because I never had before, but I was in no mood to deal with anyone right now. Not even my best friend.


“I have something for you.” She spoke after a moment, extending her left arm in my direction. In her hand, she held a white envelope. “What's that?” I sniffled, staring at the object in her hand. “It's from Alex. He asked me to give it to you.”


Standing up, I viciously snatched the envelope from her hand, causing Emersyn to jump. “I don't fucking want it.” I spat, slamming the envelope onto the ground. “Just leave me the fuck alone.” I snapped, stomping into my house and slamming the door shut behind me.


When I'd come outside the next day, the envelope was still in the same spot on the porch, wrinkled slightly from my snatching it from Emersyn. I'd picked it up, intending to throw it into the trash, but after standing in front of the can for a few minutes, I realized I couldn't do it.


Instead, I had carefully tucked it away in my closet and left it untouched since then. I had vowed to myself that I would not open it, that I didn't care about it's contents, but I knew that was a lie. I'd always wondered what it said, but I could never bring myself to open it.


I tucked my suitcase away and sat down on the couch in the lounge, staring down at the envelope. I wasn't sure I really wanted to do this. What did it matter anyway? Alex had a girlfriend. He had moved on. Who cares about what this letter says? Truth is, I care.


Carefully dragging my nail across the top, I tore the envelope open and pulled out a few pieces of paper that had been folded into a small square, as to fit it into the envelope properly. Taking a deep breath, I unfolded the pages and began to read, feeling tears brimming in my eyes as I read each word.


Mila,

I'm having a really hard time dealing with the fact that it's really over. I want you to know that I love you, so very much. I know what happened, and I know I should've done something to stop it. I want you to know that I did not kiss her back, and I would have never done so.


I love you, and only you. It'll always be you, Mila. Even if we move on and form new relationships with other people, it'll always be you. I really hope that fate brings us back together someday, because I can promise you that I'm gonna marry you some day.


I've been working on this song ever since we broke up. Our breakup gave me a lot of inspiration, I guess. More so, knowing that you won't be coming with me to California anymore. Anyway, this is for you, babe. Maybe you'll hear it on the radio someday, and it'll be like it's me singing it to you.


I should have recorded it for you, but I just never got around to it. You know I have a bad habit of putting things off. Anyway, I have to go because the guys are growing impatient. I love you so much, and I will always love you, Lex. Always.


Love always, Alex


P.S. Here are the lyrics to the song. I hope you like it.


I wish you could see your face right now
'Cause you're grinning like a fool
And we're sitting on your kitchen floor
On a Tuesday afternoon
It doesn't matter when we get back
To doing what we do
'Cause right now could last forever
Just as long as I'm with you


You're just a daydream away
I wouldn't know what to say if I had you
And I'll keep you a daydream away
Just watch from a safe place
So I never have to lose


We would go out on the weekend
To escape our busy lives
And we'd laugh at all the douche-bag guys
Chasing down their desperate wives
I would drink a little too much
You'd offer me a ride
And I would offer you a t-shirt
And you would stay another night


But you're just a daydream away
I wouldn't know what to say if I had you
And I'll keep you a daydream away
Just watch from a safe place
So I never have to lose


We never stood a chance out there
Shooting love in real-time
So we'll take it over ice tonight
With a little salt
And a little lime


You're just a daydream away
I wouldn't know what to say if I had you
And I'll keep you a daydream away
Just watch from a safe place
So I never have to lose


You're just a daydream away
I wouldn't know what to say if I had you

Notes

Lyrics cred to All Time Low "A Daydream Away" I do not own them!