Dark affairs

I made it out of the venue and kept running down the road. I didn't think, I didn't feel at the moment,I didn't know where I was going, I just focused on pushing my feet to the concrete of the sidewalk and trying to get enough air into my lungs to keep going.

It worked for quite a while but eventually I ran out of air and had to pause and bend over holding myself up with my hands on my knees as I was getting pretty dizzy. I huffed and puffed for some time earning weird glances from by-passers as I wasn't really dressed for a workout but I couldn't care less.

I looked up and noticed I was in front of a coffee place and realised I needed to calm down and sort out my emotions so I went inside and sat down at a small table by the front window.
I had no idea how long I was sitting there before someone beside me cleared their throat snapping me back to reality.

I looked up and noticed a guy smiling down at me. He was medium height and skinny with dark brown hair, stunning blue eyes and a septum piercing, he wore an apron and a name tag that said Telle so it was safe to assume he was the waiter in this place.

"Sorry to disturb you," he shuffled from one foot to the other. "But can I get you something?"

"Uh, yeah, sure, I'll have a large cappuccino and a glass of water please." I attempted to sound normal and tried to smile up at him, he was really cute and on a normal day I would try to flirt with him, because why not, but today wasn't a normal day so my smile probably looked more like a pained grimace. I had no idea how deranged I looked after today's events so I wasn't surprised when he just nodded and scurried away to get my order.

By now I was reasonably well recovered and started to think. What actually happened back there? Why didn't I make myself known and demanded an explanation? Honestly, I don't know.

I mean, I knew Jack and Alex had a 'thing' but Jack had never been very specific about how far this 'thing' actually went, he just told me Alex was playing with his emotions and that he hurt him badly. But was this still going on?

It was one thing to know about it but to actually see them together was a completely different thing and I think I was in shock.
Was that the reason he wanted this open relationship? Why didn't he tell me?

I looked down at the table and noticed my order was already sitting there. I hadn't even seen the waiter come back with it. Taking the mug in my hand I took a sip while I leaned back into the comfy chair and looked out the window.

I tried to figure out my emotions, I wasn't angry or sad, there was just a sort of numb pain sitting in my stomach but maybe that was from running and not from seeing my boyfriend make out with another guy, but who am I kidding.

I shook my head as if to chase away the image when my phone started to vibrate in my pocket. I ignored it and let the call go to voicemail. Two minutes later it started up again, I rolled my eyes and pulled the phone from my pocket to see it was Jack calling me, no surprise there!

I decided to be mature about it and took a deep breath and answered the call.

"Mickey, where are you? I was worried! I just met the guys for dinner and you're not there then they tell me you didn't want to go with them and stayed behind, what happened?" He babbled without as much as a greeting.

I'm confused for a second, I hadn't expected him to act like nothing happened. But then it hit me he didn't even know, I saw them. He obviously wasn't planning on telling me the truth any time soon.

"Mickey?...Mickey? Can you hear me? What's going on?" His concerned voice pulled me from my thoughts.

"Oh, uh, yeah, I'm at a coffee place actually." I trail off not sure of what to say next.

"Okay, where is that, I'll come and pick you up." He sounded relieved.

But I start to panic, I can't be with him at the moment, I need some space and time to process what happened today.

"NO! Uh I mean, no. Look, you stay there, have dinner with the boys and I think I'll just head home, uhm, I'm really tired, you know." I hope he buys it.

"But, I don't want to be with the boys, I'm gonna see them every day when we're on tour, I wanna be with you." He whined. "Can't I come see you at your place?"

"No, honestly, I will probably already be sleeping. Let's talk tomorrow, see you." I end the call before he could try and persuade me to meet him.

I got up and went to the counter to pay. The cute guy rang me up and handed me my change and the receipt. "Have a good evening" he winked and smiled at me. "You, too" I replied and smiled for real this time.

While leaving I tried to put the coins in my pocket and was just about to crumble the bill to throw it away when I noticed there was a number scribbled on it in blue ink, I turned around to the guy furrowing my brow in a silent question but he just smiled cheekily and then looked down embarrassed. I chuckled to myself, what a crazy day this was!

Once I got back to my apartment I did what I normally do when I'm distressed. To keep my thoughts at bay, I busy myself with other things, I can get very productive on such occasions.

I had already re-stringed my two guitars, sharpened all my colour pencils and was now sitting on my kitchen floor, on a Monday night, mind me not a Tuesday afternoon, with my two kitchen drawers turned over and a huge pile of junk that I always chuck in there spilled on the tiles, when Jack stormed through the door.

Of course he had used my spare key. I make a mental note to find a new hiding place, since everyone seems to know where I leave my keys.

"M-Mickey!" He called out because he hadn't noticed me sitting behind the counter on the floor,"where are you?" I could hear in his voice that he wasn't sober, not completely thrashed but definitely not sober.

I sighed but made no effort to get up.

"Kitchen!" I shouted and seconds later he came rushing in looking at me with wide eyes.

"What are you doing on the floor Mickey, what happened?" He carefully stepped over the pile of junk and sat down beside me leaning back against the cupboards. "What is this?" He gestured to the clutter.

"I'm sorting out my drawers, there is so much useless stuff in there. Look!" With that I picked out items from the pile.

"A matchbox car, a kinder surprise toy, actually I think I have multiple kinder toys in there, a screwdriver, I have been looking for, a bottle opener, an old pen, a mini torch...not working..."

Jack stops my rambling by taking both my hands into his and makes me look at him. "Mickey, what's wrong, you're acting weird, I'm getting scared, what happened to you?"

I pull my hands from his grasp and let my head fall back against the cupboards closing my eyes tiredly and rubbing my aching forehead.

Jack watches my every move silently, waiting for me to answer.
I decide to just come out with the truth realising how much it actually bothers me.

"I saw you and Alex make out in the venue today." I mumble avoiding his eyes and looking down into my lap.

"Oh, fuck!" Is all he says and he seems frozen for a moment. Then he springs back to life. He holds out his hands to me as if to stop me from getting up and leaving.

"Shit, Mickey, you must believe me. He came onto me, I didn't want this...." he splutters anxiously then takes a deep breath and tries to calm himself down.

"Listen, when we packed up he started talking shit about you, so we got into an argument, then suddenly he pushes me against the wall and starts kissing me." He looks at me apologetically, I nod to tell him I'm listening.

"I was taken by surprise and I admit I kissed back for a few seconds but then realised what was happening and I pushed him away. I screamed at him and he apologised saying he couldn't explain why he did that and that it just came over him. You must believe me Mickey, that is what happened. He begged me not to tell you anything because he didn't want you to hate him." He looked at me with pleading eyes.

"Oh, okay, well I guess I can't be mad, I mean we are in an open relationship after all..." I trail of feeling uncomfortable.

"No, Mickey, that was not supposed to happen, I don't want to be with somebody else, baby I don't want to make you sad." He cautiously opens his arms for a hug and I shuffle closer to him and lay my head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry baby, for not telling you. I want to be truthful with you." He pats my hair and kisses my head.

I enjoy the closeness when a question pops up in my head."what kind of shit was he talking about me?"

"Oh, you know, just being rude and saying you would only go for the popularity and stuff like that." He tried to play it off although I was certain Alex had been way ruder than that.

"He also told me.." Jack hesitates "that you two had an affair last year, why didn't you tell me?"

That took me by surprise. "Oh, uhm, I just assumed you knew, I thought Alex would have told you. So I never mentioned it because it didn't end well for me, obviously."

I put my head back down and we sit there with our arms around each other.

Minutes pass until Jack speaks up again asking the question I knew would come sooner or later.

"Did you have feelings for him? "

Notes

So? Do you love me? Two updates in 24 hours is my new record I think.
so it was all Alex's doing and he didn't really give a good excuse. Maybe there should be a chapter that clarifies what's going on in his head, soon.