I Was Doing Just Fine Before I Met You.

“Alex!” I gasped, tossing my head back harder than I intended. “Mmph.”

I bit my lip to hold in my hiss from the stinging along the back of my head from where it slammed into the hard headboard behind me. Closing my eyes, I focused on the heat rushing to my gut from the wet sensation of Alex’s tongue circling a touchy patch of skin along my neck and stretched back in attempt to get him to keep going.

“Lift up.” He panted, tucking his fingers into the waistband of the skinny jeans clinging to my legs.

I hummed, feeling my heart race in my chest as my hands slipped from his shoulders down to his wrists. Wrapping my hands around his, I shook my head slowly and bit my lip at the grunt of disapproval.

“We can’t.” I whispered, trying to ignore the tightness forming in my jeans when he leaned more into my spread legs.

“You look so fucking good.” He purred, slipping his hands over my thighs roughly.

I swallowed thickly, biting back the smile threatening to break across my face. Butterflies fluttered through my chest while my heart sped up excitedly and I almost couldn’t contain the giddy feeling bubbling inside.

“Alex!” I choked out, shooting my hands back in front of me to stop him from groping me. “We’re supposed to be-”

I stopped, gawking when I felt his hardness pressing into the back of my thigh. My stomach flipped pleasantly and I bit my tongue, more nervous butterflies fluttering in my tummy when I felt his hot breath hitting my earlobe. I blinked hard, hearing a light buzzing in my ears while my eyes fought to focus in the dark.

“Oh!” I gasped, feeling him press into my ass the best he could through our clothes. “You said you wanted to makeout-”

I stopped involuntarily, practically melting into his rough lips as he shut me up again. I breathed in through my nose, slowly opening my mouth once he kissed me with more force. My muscles tensed as his hands slipped more up my thighs and I hummed at the wonderful feeling of his cold lips rings digging into my smooth skin. He nipped my lip for a split second, sliding his tongue over mine almost directly after. I moaned, unable to control myself with all the attention he’s giving me.

“Alex.” I breathed, dropping his wrists and slipping my hands up his neck to grip the tail of thick hair.

I swallowed hard, biting my hot bottom lip when his fingers slipped back into the waistband of my jeans. It wasn’t until I felt his fingers brush along my bare ass that I came back down to reality.

“What are you doing?” I sputtered, clutching the thin material of his t-shirt in my left hand.

“Show me how dirty you are, baby.” He rasped, spreading me open the best he could inside of the tight material.

I bit my cheek, trying to keep the shudder from racking my body as another wave of heat settled in my gut. He hummed, slipping his hands back up my thighs until he reached my bare hips. Gripping on, he forced me forward and let out a mix of a moan and a shudder of his own. I gawked, moaning slightly at the tingles flying through me and focusing on how his body felt pressed into mine.

“You want me.” He encouraged huskily, inching his fingers back into my waistband. “I can make you feel good.”

”Jack!”

I shot up in my bed, holding my hand over my skipping heart while my lungs burned for air. Swallowing thickly, I blinked hard and grimaced at the wetness of sweat coating my body. I panted loudly, bringing my hand up to my mouth when my stomach lurched harshly. Scrambling from my bed, I stumbled over to my bathroom and rushed to the toilet just in time to empty the contents remaining from last night.

“Jack! Do you hear me?!” Mom shouted, voice a lot closer and louder than a minute ago.

I coughed hard, retching loudly for another few seconds before my stomach calmed considerably. Breathing heavily, I wiped the water from the corners of my eyes and groaned while my knees ached against the tiled floor beneath me.

“I see the morning sickness kicked in.” She called from the doorway, clicking her tongue. “You needed a shower, Jack. You only have about ten minutes left to get ready.”

I flushed the toilet with a scowl, feeling my cheeks heat up in embarrassment at the mention of my looks. I glanced down to my shorts, mentally sighing in relief when nothing jumped out at me. The rude awakening mixed with the puking proved to be a good turn off.

“Hello? Anybody in there?” She asked, knocking me out of my thoughts once I got back on my feet. “I said you need to be ready in ten minutes.”

“Ready?” I croaked, shivering in disgust at the taste in my mouth.

Shaking my head, I grabbed my toothbrush from the counter and squirted a generous amount of toothpaste over it before shoving it into my mouth.

“Really, Jack?” She scoffed, raising her eyebrows at me through the mirror. “Your doctor appointment is today. We need to get you properly checked out because God knows when you got pregnant.”

I scrubbed my teeth harder, feeling my stomach sink at the idea of seeing my doctor. There’s nothing worse than feeling the judgement of other people and that’s all I’m going to feel as soon as I step into the building. I’m just going to be another stupid pregnant teenager everyone frowns upon and it’s all her fault.

“Do you know who the father is or were you actually out of your mind enough to do anything with anybody?” She continued, leaning more into the bathroom.

I spit my mouthful of toothpaste out in distaste, twisting the faucet on with a scowl. Rolling my eyes, I scooped some water into my mouth and rinsed everything out. Turning the water back off, I used the hand towel beside me to dab at my mouth silently and took a deep breath to contain myself.

“I know who it is.” I responded once I felt calm enough to speak nicely. “We don’t really talk.”

“Clearly.” She commented, pushing off of the doorway. “Get dressed now. You’ve got five minutes.”

I frowned, twisting my hands together anxiously while I watched her leave without another word. Biting my lip, I slowly trailed over to my opened closet and distractedly looked through everything hanging. Twiddling my thumbs, I couldn’t stop the dread piling in my gut especially after the way she’s been talking to me since she found out.

“Two minutes!”

I jumped, hissing at the pain in my lip where my teeth briefly sunk in. Sighing heavily, I pulled a pair of light blue skinny jeans from the hanger along and shook them out. Groaning, I pulled my shorts off and forced my legs into the skinny jeans. Once the tight material got up my thighs and to my ass, I started to regret choosing to wear them. Grunting, I jumped a few times and successfully got them over my ass.

“Wear one of those half-shirt things you have!” Mom added, voice echoing through the quiet house. “It’ll be easier for the ultrasound!”

I rolled my lips together, tugging my white t-shirt off easily and tossing it to my hamper. Skimming inside the closet, my eyes met my black and white stripped Alien crop-top and I tugged it out with little struggle. I shoved my arms through the holes and pulled it over my head quickly, dropping my hands to button my jeans. I choked on my spit, shooting my head down when my hands ran down my hard stomach and widening my eyes at the noticeable rounding. I gulped hard, feeling a lump form in my throat when my fumbling fingers failed at popping the button through the hole.

“Come on, Jack!”

I huffed, sucking in and pulling the front ends of my jeans together as hard as I could only to see them barely able to connect. I let out the breath I was holding, feeling tears burning my eyes when the bump came back fully. Gritting my teeth, anger washed over me and I let out a mix between a scream and a cry. Squeezing my watering eyes shut, I raised my hands to my mouth and bit my fingers in attempt to hold in my noises.

“What? What’s wrong?!” Mom demanded, rushing back into my room. “Jack?”

“I can’t button my favorite fucking jeans!” I exasperated, feeling my face flush when shock washed over her. “This is your fault! You’re making me get fat and I’m not gonna be able to fit in any of my clothes!”

I bit my cheek hard, trying to ignore the pull in my face as sadness filled me.

“Jack Bassam, do not raise your voice at me.” She scolded softly, shaking her head at me. “I didn’t do anything. You did this to yourself by letting someone have sex with you, unprotected. I really thought you knew better, Jack.”

I hiccupped, sniffing a million times unintentionally while the water finally broke free from the corners of my eyes. I whined, holding my hands over my mouth when the tears began spilling faster from her tone. She’s right. I know she’s right. I did know better until I was in the moment. It was never supposed to go that far.

“I didn’t mean to.” I choked out through my fingers, dropping my blurry gaze to my feet. “He said he just wanted to kiss me because I’m so pretty.”

I flushed in embarrassment at how stupid I am as soon as the words spouted from my mouth. I covered my face more, muffling the sounds of my quiet crying while regret hit me once more.

“It’s okay, baby.” She cooed, wrapping her arms around me tightly. “Sh, don’t cry. You’re going to be okay.”

“I don’wanna be pr-pregnant!” I wailed, digging my face into her shoulder.

“It’s going to be alright, Jacky.” She repeated, smoothing my hair back in one hand. “C’mon, wipe those tears away. We need to get going.”
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“Ew ew ew.” I chanted, jumping at the goop spreading around my belly.

“Knock it off, Jack.” Mom tsked, slapping my forearm lightly. “We’re going to see how far along you are.”

I swallowed hard, laying back against the uncomfortable cot when spots dotted my vision. My stomach flipped sickly and I shook my head lightly to myself, forcing the thick spit forming in my mouth back into my throat.

“Just a warning,” Dr. Maurine began, making the anxious flipping in my gut continue. “Signs of pregnancy begin after four weeks and I’ve got to say, this little belly looks like you could be quite further than usual when becoming aware of pregnancy.”

“We did find out about two weeks ago now.” Mom informed, lifting her eyebrows at me. “Unless you knew before?”

I shook my head, unable to speak as Dr. Maurine pressed a round stick into my abdomen. I held my breath, feeling my body tense as she circled all around. I squeezed my eyes closed, trying to keep myself from blowing chunks all over everything while she pressed down harder.

“Ah, here we are.” She cheered, pausing near my belly button.

“Oh my God.” Mom gasped, grabbing my left hand tightly. “Oh, my baby. My baby is having a baby.”

I grimaced, feeling dizzy right when I opened my eyes back up. I kept my gaze on the ceiling, squeezing her hand back tightly while the corners of my eyes tingled unpleasantly.

“It looks like you’re about twelve weeks pregnant, Jack.” Dr. Maurine estimated, moving the stick slowly this time. “You’ll need to start taking prenatal vitamins immediately and I want to have your next appointment scheduled-”

I tuned her out, my brain only allowing the number twelve replay over and over in my mind. Twelve weeks? Twelve weeks. I’m twelve weeks pregnant. There is a three-month-old fetus inside of me because I let my guard down and allowed a fuckboy to plow me at a stupid end of summer party I never would’ve attended if it wasn’t for Parker.

“Jack.”

I blinked slowly, squinting at the bright light before my gaze focused on Mom leaning over me.

“Breathe baby.” She told, pressing her cold hand against my forehead.

I closed my eyes again, sucking in a quick breath through my nose while my heart thumped in my ears.

“I take it this wasn’t planned?” Dr. Maurine assumed once my breathing turned steady.

“Not at all.” I muttered, feeling my chest tighten. “This can’t be real.”

“Jack.” Mom warned, brushing my bangs back. “You’re okay and everything is going to be fine.”

I bit my lip, keeping my eyes closed while the tears built up in the corners the second time in an hour. This isn’t how my life is supposed to go. I’m not supposed to be in the process of becoming a parent. I’m supposed to graduate high school and get into a good college. I’m supposed to get out of Baltimore and road trip with my friends. I’m supposed to experiment with guys and fall in love. I’m supposed to be able to party and stay out all night if I want to.

“My future is dead.” I sniffled, bringing my hands up to wipe my eyes.

“I wouldn’t say that.” Mom commented, wiping a warm towel over my stomach. “Your future has a heartbeat and is almost the size of a lime.”
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“Mom, no.” I refused, biting my lip when a miniature strawberry gummy was shoved in front of my face. “I don’t remember.”

Swallowing thickly, I took the gummy from her fingertips and popped it into my mouth. My stomach churned with nerves as I chewed slowly and the silence forming around me isn’t helping at all.

“I will not take that for an answer on this, Jack Bassam.” She stated sternly, pushing a bottle of water towards me. “What’s his name?”

“Why do you need to know?” I asked, untwisting the cap of the water.

“Are you kidding me?” She retorted, dropping her hands on the table. “This is unnecessary, just tell me his damn name.”

I shrunk back in my seat, lifting the water to my mouth and taking a gulp big enough to swallow down the remains of the vitamin. I took my time, drinking as slow as possible until she pulled the bottle from my hand.

“It all comes down to your decision, Jack.” She sighed, speaking more calmly. “Let’s say you decided to keep him or her-”

“Mom.” I protested weakly, closing my mouth when she gave me one of her looks.

“It doesn’t matter if he is involved or not, his name has to be on the birth certificate because he’s going to be paying child support.” She began, holding two fingers up. “Or if you go another route and decide you want to go through adoption, we need his signature stating that he gives up all parental rights on his end. All in all, I need to know who he is, baby.”

“I don’t want to start any trouble with him.” I admitted, resting my arms over my chest. “He gave me money for an abortion and I haven’t even seen him around to tell him I wasn’t allowed to-”

“Don’t make me look like the bad guy.” She frowned. “Even though I’m against it, I did ask and Dr. Maurine told us that eight weeks is the latest the procedure can be done. You’re twelve.”

I sighed heavily, slumping more against the hard back of the kitchen chair while my hands slid down to the bump protruding between my hips. Biting my lip, I rested my hands over it and rubbed my thumbs up and down softly. Guilt swarmed my gut at my selfish thoughts and I felt my lip start to quiver between my teeth.

“It’s okay, honey.” She cooed, scooting her chair closer to me. “Your seventeen and you’re scared, but I promise you it will be okay. Me and Daddy will be here to help you.”

“I’m sorry.” I whispered, sucking in a shaky breath.

“It’s alright, baby.” She reminded, rubbing her hand over mine on top of my stomach.

I nodded even though I’m really not so sure I believe her. How is everything going to be okay? I don’t even know how to be pregnant. I don’t know how to do anything with a baby and I sure as hell didn’t want to find out all on my own. It’s not fair that I have to go through this on my own.

“Alex.” I mumbled, surprising myself.

“What?” Mom asked, squeezing my wrist.

“His name is Alex.” I repeated, licking my dry lips while I stared down at my hands. “Alex Gaskarth.”

“Thank you for telling me.” She said, releasing my hand.

“What are you going to do?” I wondered, feeling my heart skip a beat.

“Why don’t you go take a shower?” She suggested, brushing her shirt off. “Daddy will be home soon so I’m going to start on dinner.”

I blinked slowly, waiting another minute before finally standing from my seat. The way she blatantly ignored my question had another uneasy feeling washing over me and I can only hope nothing bad is going to happen. I can’t take all of this stress.

“Go on now.” She pushed as she made a ruckus with pots and pans.

“Okay…” I trailed off, turning my back to her.

I walked out of the kitchen cautiously, looking back as I inched closer to the steps. When all I heard was the sound of water running and drawers opening, I deemed it safe to head up the steps. I’m not really sure what I thought she was going to do, but it definitely eases my mind now that I know she’s actually cooking. Breathing deeply, I turned down the hall and waltzed into my room lazily. My eyes instantly fell to my unmade bed and without another thought, I moved over and sat down on top of my comforter.

“Wow.” I muttered, barely able to keep my eyes open all of a sudden.

I hummed to myself, staring down at the white carpet for a solid few minutes before I laid down on my side. Yawning, I nuzzled my face into my pillow and closed my droopy eyes to rest for a few seconds. It was only a minute later when I felt myself drifting off and I just couldn’t be bothered to get up.

Notes

OMG ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I UPDATED THIS. But it's getting started and I'm SO EXCITED!!!