Don't Make This Easy, I Want You to Mean It

“Marissa, people are asking questions!” I hissed, grabbing my best friend by the arm and leading her away from the crowd of people she was following into the cafeteria.
“And by people, you mean Jack, right?” She asked, clearly aware that he was the only other person whose opinion mattered to me.
“I lied to him and he caught me out,” I admitted. “I told him I didn’t hook up with anyone on Saturday and he just would not drop it. What am I going to do?!” I eyed the group of teenagers passing us by warily, hoping they weren’t going to try and eavesdrop. It was a common enough occurrence in my day to day life that it was a genuine concern.
“Well, first of all, you need to come up with some better lies.” I glared at her, knowing she was going to be helpful in a second, right after she made her jokes at my expense. “Also, you’re going to have to tell him it was you that left Alex yesterday.” I continued to glare. I was really hoping that wouldn’t be her solution, but it was the only one I had been able to think of either.
“But he’ll tell him,” I groaned. “They’re best friends, Marissa! I know Jack, he doesn’t lie to his friends.”
“Do you trust Jack?” Marissa asked me, raising her eyebrows at me.
“Of course I trust Jack, bu-“
“Has he ever broken a promise to you?”
“No, bu-“
“Then tell him. Make him promise not to tell Alex, and he won’t do it. Just go find him, get him away from Alex and tell him the truth.”
“I’ve never even seen them together,” I told her, running my hands through my hair in frustration. She was a lot less helpful than I had anticipated.
“Where do we never go during breaks?” I cocked my head, unsure on where she was going with this.
“Outside; it’s gross out there.” She raised her eyebrows at me, waiting for me to understand. I looked at her expectantly, still clueless. So we didn’t go outside, so what? What did that have to do with Jack?
“You’re useless, Jasey,” she laughed. “If the only place we never go is outside and we’ve never seen the guys, where do you think they’ll be?” My eyes widened, finally realising what she meant.
“Oh! They’re outside!”
“You’re an idiot.” I snorted at her, knowing that I was indeed being a little slow on the uptake today.
“Fine! I’m going to see Jack. Tell the girls I’ll see them tomorrow and I’ll see you at home.” She nodded at me, waving me off and I turned my back on her. I pushed through the crowd on their way into the cafeteria, making my way toward the closest door and striding right out of it. I’d never once recalled heading out of these doors during the school day. The grass and the courtyard seemed to be filled with people I didn’t know and the chill that hit me when I left reminded me that I liked being indoors. I liked the heat. Considering I was from Maryland, I always felt like I should have come from somewhere like Nevada. I hated the cold. I pulled my jacket closer to my body, folding my arms and scanning the grounds for Jack’s head of brown and blonde hair.
It didn’t take me long to find him and his friends, lingering on a bench under a tree on the far side of the courtyard. I pulled my jacket closer still, making my way toward the boys. I ignored the churning in my gut as I got closer and closer to where Jack stood, eyeing the back of Alex’s head and praying he didn’t recognise me when I finally appeared. I didn’t need him to find out and make me into the biggest slut in the school. The only person who had any right to know my business at this bench was Jack, and he was the only one I was telling.
“Aha! Jasey Rae! I knew you couldn’t stay made at me!” He shrieked as he finally spotted me walking toward him. He grinned at me, making his friends turn their heads to look at me. I rolled my eyes, noticing Alex looking me over, his gaze lingering much longer than the others. I gulped quickly, hoping he was just being a jerk.
“Me? Mad at you? Never.” He pulled me into a hug as I finally made it around the table and next to him. I laughed, shoving him off me.
“Ah, the infamous Jasey Rae. It’s nice to finally meet you,” Alex smirked at me from his seat on the bench. “You have quite the reputation.” Okay, play it cool, Jase.
“I’m sorry, and you are?” I tried not to laugh at the dumbfounded look on his face. I don’t think he’d ever met a girl who hadn’t instantly swooned at his voice and the English accent that occasionally broke through. His smirk returned as he opened his mouth to reply.
“Alex Gaskarth; I’m sure you’ll want to remember that name from now on.” I scoffed. Admittedly, I wasn’t going to be forgetting his name in a hurry, and the way he’d spoken to me had made my knees buckle, but I wasn’t going to let him know that. I was Jasey-frickin’-Rae and nobody could get under my skin that quickly. Especially not Alex Gaskarth.
“You have quite the reputation yourself. You found your girl yet?” I smirked when he face dropped, knowing for a fact that he hadn’t found his girl and knowing just how infuriated it was making him. If I had a card to play against someone, I was going to play it as often as I could.
“No, I haven’t,” he scowled. “No one remembers seeing me with anyone.”
“That’s a shame,” I replied, no hint of any sympathy in my voice. In fact, I was more than happy at his words. I’d half expected someone to have seen us making our way up the stairs, but at least my prediction had been correct: everyone had been far too drunk and far too preoccupied to notice us. I turned away from Alex, facing my best friend. “Jack, can I have a word?”
“Sure, come on.” He linked his arm with my own, leading me away from his friends, toward the main school building, out of earshot of everyone. “So, what did you want?” I leaned against the wall, trying not to show the nerves that were building in my gut.
“I realised I was being a dick lying to you. Do you still want to know who I hooked up with?” His eyes lit up, grinning and nodding at me.
“You know I love knowing the gossip.” I laughed lightly, trying to ignore my gut once again.
“Do you promise not to tell a soul?” His smile started to falter and I looked at my hands, feeling my own face starting to reflect my nerves.
“This sounds serious. It wasn’t anyone disgusting, was it?” He tried to lighten the mood, though it didn’t help. I looked up at him, noting that he still hadn’t started smiling again.
“I wish. It’s worse than it being someone disgusting. Promise me, Jack.”
“Okay, okay, I promise.”
“I mean it. No one. Not even Alex. I know, I know, you don’t keep secrets from him, just like you don’t keep them from me, but no one can know, Jack, no one.”
“You’re scaring me, Jasey.”
“Promise me.”
“Okay! I promise! No one; not even Alex.” I bit my lip. I’d been blindly hoping that he was going to refuse when I added Alex into the bargain and I wouldn’t have to admit it to him, but now he’d agreed and I had no way of backing out.
“Alex.”
“What about him?” He asked, puzzled.
“It was Alex. I hooked up with Alex.”
“As in my Alex? The Alex who is going crazy over the girl he hooked up with on Saturday? That Alex?!”
“Yes, Jack; that Alex!” His eyes widened and I groaned quietly.
“I have to tell him.” He turned to move back to the boys and I grabbed his arm tightly.
“Jack, please, you promised. Don’t tell him.”
“You can’t expect me to watch him moping over some girl when I know who it is? I could tell him now and he’d be fine. He’d understand, Jasey.” I bit my lip. I didn’t want to tell him how bad I felt at being the one girl who was worse than Alex Gaskarth.
“Please. This is the first week in months where I haven’t been the centre of attention. No one is gossiping about me for once. Please don’t ruin this for me.”
“You’re so selfish,” he spluttered, staring at me with wide eyes. My stomach sank as I realised what he must be thinking about me right now. Jack had never judged me for anything I’d done before. He was so open and understanding that I knew he’d be by my side no matter what I did, but it seemed that this was taking it one step too far.
“I know. I know I’m being selfish, but I can’t take it, Jack. I don’t want everyone to know that I was the one who left him. I don’t want to be the girl who’s worse than Alex Gaskarth. I can’t be worse than him, but he gets a pat on the back for being worse than me. It’s easy for him.” Jack’s eyes softened as he looked down at me. I could see the sympathy in his eyes. The sympathy I’d wanted to avoid. I didn’t need him to feel sorry for me. I just needed him to understand why I was doing this.
“Fine. I won’t tell him. But you have to promise me that you’ll tell him everything if this gets out of hand, okay?” I sighed, nodding.
“I promise I’ll tell him everything if things get out of hand.”
“Good.” He grinned, hugging me tightly. “Now, come back and sit with the guys! I talk about you so much they think I’m in love with you or something. I don’t care how awkward it is, they need to get to know my best girl.” I chuckled lightly, pushing him off me.
“You’re such a sweetheart.”
“I try.” He slung his arm around my shoulders, leading me back to the group of guys we’d left. I noticed Alex watching us as we walked back and resisted the urge to roll my eyes again. “Guys, this is Jasey Rae. Jase, this is Alex Gaskarth, Zack Merrick and Rian Dawson.” Jack pointed to each of them in turn and I smiled as they either waved or nodded at me in response. I had a feeling they’d known even before I’d come over initially just who I was, though chose not to mention it.
“Zack, move over and let Jasey sit down,” Alex ordered, shoving Zack across to the edge of the bench so I could sit between the pair of them. I laughed lightly, taking my chance and sitting down.
“Dude, you suck. I was comfortable there,” Zack whined as he shuffled on the spot in order to get comfortable again.
“Be thankful, you finally have a pretty girl sitting next to you,” Alex joked. Zack glared at him and I tried to supress my laughter.
“Oh, haha, the only way you can get a girl next to you is to get them wasted.”
“Ouch, harsh,” Alex pouted at him. “That hurt, Zack, right here.” He pointed to his chest as he continued to pout. I looked over at Jack who was rolling his eyes with half a grin on his face. Clearly this wasn’t uncommon.
“Suck it up, Gaskarth.” Alex pouted once again before turning his attention to me.
“So, what’s a pretty girl like you doing with our Jack Attack?” I turned my head from Jack to Alex, raising an eyebrow at him. If Jack was anyone’s, he was mine.
“’Your’ Jack Attack? Bitch, he’s mine.”
“Oh, really?” He spun his head, turning quickly to face Jack instead of me. “Who do you belong to; me or Jasey?” Jack’s eyes widened, beginning to look like a deer caught in headlights. He knew he would suffer regardless of the answer he gave. I bit my lip to stop from laughing at the expression on his face, waiting for a response.
“I’m Jasey’s in lessons and yours the rest of the time? That girl’s the only reason I’m passing.”
“You mean we have to share?!” Alex and I called, both scowling at his response. The pair of us turned to look at each other, before beginning to laugh. I really hadn’t expected his response to be so similar to my own.
“I told you he was the male version of you,” Jack said, looking at me pointedly. I rolled my eyes.
“Honestly, my reputation is much better than his,” I told him, examining my nails in order to appear nonchalant. I looked up at Jack who was trying not to laugh at me.
“Hey! I take offence to that. I’m not that bad.”
“Oh? And I am?” I glanced at him, dropping my hand and raising my eyebrow, seeing how he intended to worm his way out of his remark.
“Well, no,” he started warily. “But you make it sound like my reputation is horrible.”
“It is, Alex,” I told him slowly. “Haven’t you heard the word in the hallways? No girl wants to go near you for fear you’ll leave them heartbroken.” He narrowed his eyes at me before responding.
“And no guy wants to go near you for fear you’ll leave them with an STD,” he shot back. I allowed my jaw to drop at his words. What an asshole. I should have known better than to try and speak to him like he was a reasonable human being. I clenched my jaw, shutting my mouth firmly and glaring at him, willing myself not to mention Saturday night. While that may have given me the upper hand in this particular conversation, it would decidedly lower everyone else’s opinion of me. A grin spread over Alex’s face quickly and he leaned over, pressing a kiss to my cheek. “You’re so cute when you’re mad.”
“Alex! Stop chatting up my girl!” Jack growled. I snorted, allowing a smile to spread across my face at Jack’s protectiveness. He’d warned me since day one not to get involved with Alex.
“Wait. You guys are together?” Rian interrupted, suddenly. I’d almost forgotten he was there, considering he hadn’t spoken since I’d come back over.
“No, but I own that bitch,” Jack grinned, making the five of us laugh and forget the small argument Alex and I had just had.

Notes