Don't Make This Easy, I Want You to Mean It

It was another cold, fall morning in Cockeysville and the pounding in my head was almost unbearable, but nothing out of the ordinary. My bed was large and comfortable, which was decidedly out of the ordinary for a Sunday morning, but usually only meant Marissa had dragged me home. I let out a deep breath, spreading myself across the entire bed before beginning the arduous task of opening my eyes to face the daylight.
I blinked slowly, taking in the beige walls and the perfectly decorated room I was situated in. I sat up quickly, looking to my right and facing an empty bed. My stomach lurched as I remembered the night before, thinking of all the empty promises that had fallen from Alex’s lips, of all the people who had told me this exact thing would happen and all the assurances I’d made that I would be okay if it did.
I’d been so utterly wrong.
I blinked back the tears forming in my eyes, wiping my face hastily before beginning to get dressed. Was this how I’d made Alex feel last week? Was this my karma for everything I’d done? For every boy I’d ever left? I checked my face in the mirror, thankful my eyes weren’t glaringly red from the tears that had tried their best to escape me. I took a breath, holding my head as high as normal and rolling my shoulders back. If I wasn’t okay underneath, I was for damn sure going to act like I was okay on the outside.
“Get up, sluts,” I laughed from the doorway of Rian’s brother’s bedroom, flinging a small stuffed animal at Jack’s head. Jack jumped abruptly, causing Marissa to stir and me to laugh all the more.
“Where’s Alex?” Jack grumbled, bleary with his hangover. I shrugged nonchalantly.
“Fuck if I know.” Jack suddenly looked much more awake, seeming like he was scrutinising me through his now narrowed eyes. “Stop staring at me while you’re naked next to my best friend. If you want a ride home, be down in five or I’m leaving without you both.”
“Jasey Rae!” I heard from the kitchen as I entered to find a glass of water before I left.
“Rian Dawson!” I mimicked, noting that he had already begun to clear up the mess made the night before.
“What’s up girl?” I snorted at his words, grabbing what appeared to be an unused cup and filling it with water, taking a drink quickly. “Where’s Lex?”
“Why does everyone keep asking me that?” I asked, trying to appear puzzled by everyone’s interest in Alex. “I’m not his keeper.” I started picking up disposable cups from the countertop, throwing them quickly into the bin liner Rian was holding and trying not to look him in the eye.
“Well, word has it you two were getting awfully close in my kitchen last night.” I glanced up at him briefly, noting the smirk on his face as he joked with me. “Besides, he owes me some clean sheets. Everyone in this town knows what it means when Jasey Rae or Alex Gaskarth go upstairs with a member of the opposite sex.” I let out a laugh at his words, knowing that it was both mildly overdramatic and totally a true reaction people had to Alex and I.
“Honestly, Rian, Alex and I aren’t morning people. What happens at night doesn’t hold true for the morning.”
“So, who’s doing the leaving?”
“The leaving is done. Alex doesn’t stick around to wallow in his sex sheets.” I saw a look of sympathy flash across Rian’s face at my words and plastered another sickeningly fake smile across my face. “Besides, fair is fair. I did it to him last week.” Rian’s head tilted to the side at my words, dropping the sympathetic look and trying to puzzle out what I meant. I had a feeling the news would go full circle around the county about Alex and I by the end of the day, so I had no qualms about telling Rian last week’s gossip, considering Alex knew everything now. I heard two sets of footsteps coming down the stairs and quickly took my chance to escape from Rian, walking out to the car with Jack and Marissa.
“Where did you get off to last night?” Marissa yawned, leaning against the window on the passenger’s side of my car.
“I managed to snag myself a cute boy with a cute smile,” I joked, using the same phrasing I always used when Marissa asked me about my escapades.
“Was he cute and British?”
“Yes, he was cute and British.”
“And?” I rolled my eyes as I took the turn that lead to Jack’s house rather than our own apartment.
“And nothing. He did exactly what we always said he would do and left before I woke up.” I was doing my best not to get upset as I drove along, my voice maintaining some semblance of my usual calm exterior, though my vision was beginning to blur with a fresh set of tears.
It’s okay, Jasey. Pull yourself together.
“Do you need me to kick his ass, Jase?” Jack asked from the backseat. I glanced into my rear-view mirror, grinning at his words.
“Nope. I know you’re my big little brother, but Alex was doing Alex. I had no illusions about him sticking around in the morning for small talk and pancakes.” I pulled up in front of Jack’s house, waving at his mother who was stood in the window watching out for him, knowing just how protective she was over her youngest son. I saw her wave back, before turning to Jack. “Now my turn. Don’t make out, or she’s going to demand to meet Marissa right here and now and she’s too slutty for a good first impression with your mom. I mean, I know she loves me, but she doesn’t know my slut. Kiss on the cheek, cheesy goodbye, then get out of my car.” Marissa punched me on the arm lightly, telling me she wasn’t a slut, however Jack took my advice. I turned away as they said their farewells, just praying I could get home soon and take a good long shower.
“Later, Jase.”
“See you at school! Tell your mom I love her and I need waffles!” Jack flipped me off as he left the car and I pouted. “His mom makes the best waffles,” I told Marissa.
“I thought your mom made the best waffles?”
“I tell everyone they make the best waffles,” I snorted, pulling away from Jack’s house. Marissa chuckled next to me, getting herself comfortable for the remainder of the drive.
“Are you sure you’re alright? It’s just me and you now, Jasey. I’m not going to tell Alex or Jack a thing, just talk to me about what happened.” I sighed, glancing over at her quickly as we pulled up to a set of lights on the main road. I ran my hand through my hair, debating just how much to let her in on.
“I’m okay, I guess. I mean,” I pulled away from the lights, “I actually believed he would be there when I woke up, you know? I never believe guys who tell me that, and the first one I do believe and it’s the biggest player in school?” I made a right turn, nearing our street. I was annoyed with myself more than I was annoyed with him. He’d told me himself, he didn’t stick around in the morning, and just wanting to wasn’t going to change the habit of a lifetime. Trust me, I knew.
“We all thought he was going to stick around for you, Jasey. The boy just seemed so utterly smitten with you that we didn’t think he actually had it in him. He didn’t just fuck with you this weekend, he fucked with Jack too.” I sighed, taking another right and beginning to slow down in front of our apartment building.
“I don’t know if I feel better or worse for him having fucked more than one person over this week.” I put the car in park. “I just need a long shower, my PJs and to watch loads of terrible TV movies.” Marissa’s eyes lit up at my words, a grin breaking out on her face, something I hadn’t been sure she could muster considering just how hungover she clearly was.
“Dibs on the shower!” She shrieked, throwing herself out of the car and rushing into the building. I laughed lightly, taking my keys from the ignition. What an absolute child. I locked up the car, dawdling into the building, knowing there was no use rushing as Marissa was undoubtedly going to use all our hot water and I wouldn’t be able to take anywhere near the warm shower I wanted until this evening.
I stopped short at the top of the stairs, dropping my keys on the floor.
“Hey. I went to grab coffee, but you’d left by the time I got back.” Alex grinned sheepishly, holding up a container with two to-go mugs in so I could see them clearly. My heart pounded. He hadn’t left. The cups clattered to the floor, spilling cold liquid against my legs and shoes as I threw myself at Alex, my lips crashing against his and my arms reaching around his neck. “What was that for?” He breathed when I finally separated from him.
“You didn’t leave,” I told him breathlessly. “I thought you’d left and you didn’t.”
“Hey, hey, hey, didn’t I tell you? I’m crazy about you. I’m a sweet-talking mess and I hate myself, but I would never walk out on you.”

Notes

So... how many of you fell for it?